Sing For Me Sweet
by Emily Bowden
Summary: "I wanted his hands on me, on every part of my body. I wanted to feel him pressed up against me, his skin touching mine. I wanted our passionate kisses to escalate until I was panting, trembling, on the precipice until I was begging for more." AH AU
1. Chapter 1 Emergency Department

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

Chapter One - Emergency Department

It had been an exhausting day, but I seemed to be having a lot of those lately; exhausting and, unfortunately, depressing.

My job is demanding. It takes a lot of dedication to do what I do. At the end of the day, I usually feel tired, over-worked, and abused; but thus is the life of one in public service. It can be a difficult, but rewarding job.

I love to be able to help those in need, it was the whole reason I got into this profession, and I didn't take my job lightly. It takes a special kind of person to care for others in times of stress and illness. Our patients feel vulnerable at best, panicked and confused at most; they are usually completely naked, wearing a thin hospital gown covering only the front of their bodies, and they feel like complete shit and are scared to death because they don't know what's wrong with them.

My job is to be their care provider: a patient advocate; to calm and reassure those who are scared and have no control of what is going on. Let's face it; they can't even decide when they eat. Usually we tell them when, where, how, and what.

Sure, you get the patients that are a pain in the ass, like the frequent flyer we dubbed "The Drunk" because he would always come in plowed, feeling up the nursing staff as we tried to get him to sober up enough that he'd be deemed socially tolerable. But, for the most part, we were saving lives in the emergency room here at Harborview Medical Center.

My job takes its toll; not all our patients survive, unfortunately. It's hard to lose patients to illness, especially in sudden circumstances. I have seen the moment when time seizes to exist, the moment when light disappears from someone's eyes and they are on to bigger and better things. And I have seen the faces of those they leave behind. How do you offer comfort in confusion? Reassurance through pain? Or clarity in chaos?

Today was a hard day. It was one of those times that makes nurses and doctors question the work we do, to make us second guess ourselves and to feel an utter sense of frustration and loss.

Around three o'clock this afternoon, we received report of an incoming trauma. A family of four was involved in a motor vehicle accident out on Interstate five. The reports indicated that there were two children and two adults involved. There was one DOA reported and the rest were critical; our hospital is _the _trauma center in the area, so we get most of the wrecks on the highways.

I was on the trauma team today.

The victims were brought in by helicopter and the team was to meet the Medics on the roof with all the necessary equipment for a level one trauma: C-Collars, Respirators, ACLS medications and a Defibrillator monitors. I was part of the first retrieval group along with one other nurse, a respiratory therapist and our ER physician, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

As I ascended the stairs, I started to feel nervous. I am not sure why; it was just like any other time, any other accident, and any other trauma. There wasn't any _real _reason to feel like this. I had done this countless times; but this felt different for some reason.

My anxiety for this trauma was uncommon for me. I usually feed on the adrenaline rush of traumas. It clears my head, helps me to focus. But, this morning was different. I didn't have a good feeling, and in my profession, that is NEVER a good sign.

The first helicopter was loaded with two patients. They pulled out the first victim:

"Eight year old female, blood pressure 69 over 38, heart rate 189, oxygen saturation 86%," the flight paramedic yelled over the beating helicopter blades. He was giving the initial report on the patient's condition, routine for the transfer of care. I looked down at her and my heart fell.

"Yeah, she is badly burned. She was trapped in the car as it caught fire. The firefighters pulled her out, but I don't think they got her parents out in time. The burns look pretty severe. We were unable to get a peripheral IV in the field, so we are infusing normal saline through her right femur."

"How much fluid have you given her?" Dr. Cullen asked as we secured her to a transfer gurney.

"750 milliliters. We had to intubate her to secure her airway. She wasn't breathing very well; probably has inhalation burns," the paramedic speculated.

"Okay, Alice. Take her down to Trauma Room 1 and we will be right behind you." Dr. Cullen called his instructions to the other nurse, who happened to be my best friend.

"Start Vancomycin 250 milligrams IV piggyback now and draw a CBC, Chem panel, ABG and stat chest x-ray. Prep her for an arterial and central line placement as well. Also, call the pediatric burn center and tell them to expect a patient once she is stabilized."

"Sure thing, Dr. Cullen," Alice replied. She left with the respiratory therapist as another one arrived for our second victim.

"Five year old female, ejected from the vehicle. Blood pressure is 110 over 65, heart rate is 103, oxygen saturation 93% and she has a C-Collar in place and a stabilization brace on her right arm," the paramedic reported as they pulled her from the copter.

The little girls had big brown eyes, just like mine. I locked onto her gaze; she looked absolutely terrified. But in that moment, I felt a true bond with her. It was as if I was looking at myself at her age. I reached down and grabbed her hand.

"Hi, sweetie. My name is Bella. I am going to take good care of you," I tried to assure her. "What's your name?"

"N..N..Nikki, "she stammered. "Where's my Mommy a..a..and Daddy?" she asked.

"Let's take you down stairs and get you all fixed up, okay?" One huge tear fell from her eye and my heart broke.

"Bella, take her down and start an IV with normal saline at 50 milliliters per hour. Get a stat CT of her body to rule out fractures and internal bleeding. Start Vancomycin 250 milligrams IV and draw start-up labs. I will be down shortly with her parents." Dr. Cullen instructed.

"No problem," I answered.

We strapped her to a gurney and headed for the elevator. The doors opened and the next retrieval team walked out.

"Hey Bells. How bad is it?" Rosalie, a fellow nurse and other best friend, asked. Her eyes grazed my patient and widened. Then her eyes met the little girl's and she smiled.

"Hey there little one" she cooed. "My, aren't you a pretty thing."

"Mommy…Daddy…" Nikki cried. Rosalie looked at me and both of us knew that there was one DOA reported; according to the flight paramedic, it looked like both parents didn't survive. Nikki started becoming more and more agitated as we made our way to the elevator hatch. She started crying heavily and thrashing on the gurney, all the while screaming for her parents.

"Dr. Cullen?" I called over my shoulder, trying frantically to keep Nikki's body in alignment in case of probable internal spinal injuries. Dr. Cullen looked over to me briefly, quickly assessing the traumatized girl's eventual anxiety attack.

"Bella, give her a little bit of Ativan to calm her down," Dr. Cullen ordered. I pulled a small vial from my scrub pocket along with a needle and syringe. I pulled up the adequate amount of drug to sedate a child of her size quickly and administered it through the IV the Medics obtained en route.

As I entered the elevator, Nikki started to visibly relax. Satisfied that she was comfortable, I hit the first floor button and the doors closed softly. The elevator carried us to the emergency room, where more nurses and techs were waiting. We immediately hooked her up to the monitoring equipment and I called radiology for the stat CT Dr. Cullen ordered; within fifteen minutes, she was scanned and cleared for a broken neck, but the report showed she had a fractured arm and bruised lungs.

Dr. Cullen was busy with Nikki's sister; she wasn't doing to well. Alice was assisting him. Rosalie was back from the roof and was taking care of a fireman who had burned his arm trying to rescue the rest of Nikki's family. Apparently, her parents did not survive

I removed the C-collar and was able to assess her injuries more thoroughly. She was covered head to toe with lacerations from broken glass. Her lips were swollen and bleeding and she had a couple cuts to her head. But her eyes were beautiful, scanning her environment nervously. She tried to smile and say my name, but I hushed her quickly.

"Shhh, sweetie. Don't try to talk now, okay? You have cuts on your face. Let me take a look," I took a warm wash cloth and wiped some of the dirt and grim from Nikki's face. She winced slightly.

"It's okay honey, it will only sting for a moment." I knew some of the cuts would need to be assessed and sutured by a physician, but with Dr. Cullen busy at the moment, they would need to wait. I cleaned and bandaged what I could and gave Nikki some pain medication through her IV as she was started to doze off. I asked a tech to watch over her while I went to help Alice. As I turned to leave, a small hand grabbed my arm.

"Where's sissy?" she asked in a hoarse voice. My heart broke hearing how upset she was.

"Sweetie, she is over in the next room. The doctors are helping her. She got hurt really bad," her eyes widened, but she nodded in understanding.

_Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT, Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT, Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT! _The overhead intercom blared and my heart sank; I knew it could only mean one thing.

"Sweetie, I am going to go check to see how your sissy is doing. I will come back really soon." She nodded in response as her eyes closed; I ran down the hallway to Trauma Room 1, adrenaline kicking in at full force with a slight edge of panic. _How would I tell Nikki? _

A small group of firemen stood outside the room, all watching the doctors as nurses moving frantically inside. I cut through the group in order to reach the door when one of them stopped me.

"Hey, when you go in there to see what's happening, can you give us a heads up? We really want to know how she's doing," one of them asked. He was tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed and absolutely gorgeous. He was covered in soot and I realized thathe must have been one of the men that pulled her from the burning car. I looked around the group and saw anxiety in each of their faces. I couldn't help noticing a fireman sitting in a chair in the hallway. His head was down and he had an oxygen mask to his face. All I could see of him was his messy, blackened hair, full of soot and sweat and he looked visibly upset.

"No problem," I replied to the good-looking firefighter, grabbing his hand in reassurance.

I walked in the room and saw Alice on the bed doing chest compressions over the little girl, while the respiratory therapist, Mike, was giving her respirations with an ambubag. Alarms were blaring from the monitors that where attached to the little girl; I knew it wasn't good.

"Okay, stop CPR for a rhythm check," Dr. Cullen ordered. Alice paused in her actions and I saw V-Tach on the monitor.

"Okay, shock at 150," he ordered and everyone cleared off the bed.

"Everyone clear!" and 150 joules of electricity jolted into her small body, but to no avail. Immediately, Alice was on top of her again, continuing her compressions.

"Zero point one milligrams per kilogram of Epinephrine, please," Dr. Cullen ordered. I walked over to the crash cart and opened a carpuject of Epinephrine, checked her chart for her weight and handed the proper dose to another nurse for infusion.

The next dose of Epinephrine couldn't be given for the next three minutes, so I took the opportunity to quickly address the men awaiting news on the little girl. I turned and walked back into the hallway to meet the worried faces of the firemen.

"She is in cardiac arrest. They are doing all they can, but it doesn't look good." The good-looking blonde put his head in his hands, letting out the breath he'd been holding. But the messy-haired man in the hallway surprised me. He cursed, stood up, threw the oxygen mask and stormed out into the ambulance bay; he looked furious.

"He's really upset. He takes these things too hard, especially when it happens to a sweet angel like her," the good looking one answered, gazing hopefully into the trauma room.

"I understand," I replied.

"How is her sister?" he asked.

"She is fine. A couple broken bones, but she is stable, awake and talking. She would love to have visitors if you would like to see her."

"Sure thing."

Dr. Cullen and Alice walked out of the room a few moments later. Alice had tears in her eyes. She met my gaze and shook her head. I quickly gave her a hug. It's always hard when you loose a patient….always.

Dr. Cullen walked over to the blonde fireman and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Jasper, how you doing?"

"Not good doc…not good," emotion thick in his voice.

"You guys did the best you could. I want my nurse to take some vitals from you. I want to make sure you weren't breathing in too much smoke. Alice…?"

"Sure," she replied. "Come with me." She guided him into the room where Rosalie was treating the other fireman.

"Bella, can you check to see if Rosalie needs help with the other one? I…need a minute." Dr. Cullen's eyes were brimmed with unshed tears, but his gaze was fixed on something down the hall. I looked and saw the messy-haired fireman leaning against the far wall, his head in his hands. My heart broke for him. I knew how it felt to loose a patient. I could only imagine how it must feel to come onto the scene of the accident and see it play out from the beginning. The feeling of helplessness and sheer loss of control must be overwhelming. It's devastating to put all your efforts, all your training to save lives into action only for it to conclude in the worst possible outcome. Yes…I could definitely relate.

Dr. Cullen excused himself and made his way towards the end of the hall. I turned toward the suture room, reliving the events of the night in my mind. As I walked in, I saw Alice in one bay, hooking the good-looking fireman to the monitoring equipment and handing him an oxygen mask; Rosalie was consoling the other one, his head down and a fresh bandage on his right forearm. Apparently, he had just been informed of the child's death.

Recognizing that my help wasn't needed, I left and headed to Nikki's room. I stood in her doorway, watching the angel sleep, contemplating on how I would tell her once she woke up.

How do you comfort a child who lost her entire family in one day? I hoped she had somebody, someone in her extended family to help her through the next several years. I walked to her bedside, watching the rise and fall of chest in her peaceful sleep. Something about her called to my heart and to my sou; at that moment, I resolved to be there for her; to help her pick out her prom dress, to talk about her first kiss and give her advice about boys.

Although my shift would be over in ten minutes, I crawled into her bed, held her in my arms and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2 Fireman's Remorse

Chapter 2 – Fireman's Remorse

Edward's POV:

Damn.

I hated days like this.

Unfortunately, they came more often than I liked. I guessed it was all part of the job. It wasn't my favorite part; in fact it was the part I despised the most.

I was a firefighter for Seattle's best. We saw our fair share of fires, but mostly our calls involve medical aides: car accidents, cardiac arrests, gun shots. The list went on.

Today was different for some reason. Live altering, catastrophically different.

It started like any other day at work. I arrived at Station 10 at eight am sharp. Jasper and Emmett, my best friends – no, more like brothers - pulled in about ten minutes later.

Always late. _Surprise, surprise_.

We all grew up together in a small town in Washington State called Forks. Both of them had been instrumental in my life; the ones that I could depend on, to catch a ball or a beer with whenever life got hard, which seemed to be happening frequently.

Jasper was an engineer for the department. His job was to drive the fire engine to where we needed to go and to monitor the pressure gauges for the water pumps. Emmett was a firefighter, like me. He loved this job; he loved the thrill of the fire and the call to help people. He was the hose-man, the line leader when we challenged a fire. There was no one I would rather have than him by my side when entering a burning building.

Emmett was born for this job, not to mention the fact that he loved the women who flocked around him once they found out he's one of Seattle's brave. He always put on his uniform in the morning, looks himself in the mirror and going about his morning ritual of proclaiming how hot he is.

_Doofus_.

I, on the other hand, did not revel in the unexplainable appeal to women of a 'man in uniform'. That wasn't why I did this. I had always had the urge to help. I got it from my father. He tried to encourage me to go to Med school, wanting me to follow in his footsteps. I was pre-Med for a while, but I wasn't happy. It never jibed with where I was in life.

I needed adrenaline, a thrill, a rush; an attribute that is common among firefighters. Jasper, Emmett and I volunteered as Wildland firefighters one summer break, in order to keep busy and earn some good cash for school. After an adrenaline filled summer, we were hooked.

We were part of the Hot Shots crew. Basically, we flew in a helicopter over a forest fire, and parachuted down to the front lines. It was thrilling, addictive. And I needed more.

The next fall I quit school and applied for the Seattle Fire Department. My reputation in Hot Shots helped me land the job. For me, being part of the 'Sludge Team' was all I needed. We were the ones who climbed the roofs of burning buildings so we could punch holes in the roof to allow the fire to vent. It was dangerous, and I had found myself in sticky situations before, but it was thrilling. It scared by parents, but the rush was addictive and I found myself drawn to the adrenaline.

"Hey Pukeward!" Emmett called from across the locker room. "What the fuck, douche bag? You left us hanging last night. And those girls were HOT!" Jasper nodded in agreement as he fished in his locker for his badge.

"They wanted me and my sexy self," he continued, doing his infamous morning 'sexy-me' dance in the full length mirror, shaking his hips to a beat only audible in his head. I chuckled while Jasper shook his head in exasperation.

"I'm sure they did, Em," I laughed.

"Dude. You don't even know how hot these girls were, man. They totally would've been all over you, bro," Emmett bruited, emphasizing his point with elaborate hand gestures.

"You know I'm not into that," I sighed. I was sick of having the same conversation every weekend. I just wasn't into going out and having some random chick stick her tongue down my throat. I wasn't a prude, by any means, but I wasn't a man-whore either.

"Well, maybe you should be," Emmett chastised. "Loosen up for once. It's been forever since 'little Eddie' got some action. Let him out; let him breath once in a while."

"Dude, I am totally not discussing 'little Eddie's' escapades with you right now," I chuckled, trying to ignore the truth in his observations. It had been awhile, and my right wrist had carpal tunnel with all the action my palm had been subjected to over the last couple months. But I really didn't want to dip my stick into any random girl. It wasn't my thing.

"I've no interest in becoming a man-whore," I joked, throwing my nasty gym towel in his face. Emmett was a player, and we often gave him crap about it. He just had a healthy, active sex life, and secretly, I was somewhat jealous of his carefree nature. But, I would be the first to say that he had a golden heart, and whoever could tame him would be a very lucky lady.

"Whatever," Emmett brushed off my tease. "You know I'm not like that either. I just like looking at the produce, man." Emmett laughed as he held up two hand to his chest, acting like he was carrying two giant watermelons. I rolled my eyes as Jasper chuckled softly.

"You're not still hung up on Tanya, are you bro?" Emmett looked at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Emmett," Jasper warned, but it was too late; he could see the truth in my eyes.

"Dude, she was a whore. Let sleeping dogs lie, and move on," Emmett said, clasping his unusually large hand on my shoulder.

"I'm just not ready, okay, man? Drop it," I retorted, not meeting his face, overly concerned with the contents of my locker.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Emmett sighed, turning to leave the locker room as he continued his sexy-dance through the doorway.

"You know he means well," Jasper said softly.

"I know," I mumbled. Jasper gave me a small smile and followed Emmett out the doors. I took a deep breath, trying to pull my thoughts away from the painful memories that Emmett had dug up. I hated thinking about her and it was not the way to start my day.

I put the rest of my uniform on, clasped my firemen's badge to my chest, and turned to head out so that I could start cooking breakfast.

*******

The day progressed rather slowly for a Saturday. We had a couple medical aide calls, but nothing too exciting. We had a huge lunch and had just finished cleaning up when the tones went off.

"_Station Ten respond to a medical aide off Interstate Five near the James Street exit. Motor vehicle accident with four victims reported. Possible DOA and vehicle fire."_

"Man!" Emmett exclaimed. "I was just getting ready to watch my shows." He hated medical aide calls, especially ones where we had to wear our turnouts too, like MVA's. Emmett reluctantly got up from his recliner and followed us out to the garage. We hurriedly donned our turnouts and climbed into the fire engine. Jasper clicked on the lights and siren and we were hauling down the street.

We rolled up on scene to see that there was a large crowd around the accident with two vehicles involved and traffic was stopped for miles. We beat the ambulance to the call, as usual. There was a victim in the road and the car was smoking. The driver of the second vehicle seemed unharmed and was talking to a lone motorcycle cop.

Captain Banner took control. "Alright, I want Cullen to go check out the victim in the street. McCarty and Whitlock, check the victims in the white car. I'll get on the horn and see where the ambulance is." We all nodded and headed to our assignments.

I approached the victim on the ground; there was a small group around the body.

"Are they breathing?" I asked a woman crouched near the victim's head.

"Yes, but she's scared and hurt," the woman replied. "I'm a nurse and I stopped when I saw the accident."

I looked down to assess the victim and my heart fell. It was a tiny little girl.

_Shit._

"Hi honey," I said sweetly. "I'm a fireman and I'm here to help you. My name is Edward." Little kids often got scared by our turnouts. They usually mistake us for spacemen or something else scary. It always helped when we were overly friendly and calm.

"What's your name, princess?"

"Nikki," she answered. "I want my mommy," she cried.

"I know, baby doll. I'm going to check on her right now, alright?"

"She's pretty banged up," the woman stated; I could now see that she had the little girl's head and neck held in alignment in case of any trauma.

"I think she flew through the windshield," the woman continued. I nodded in agreement.

"Try to hold really still for me, okay sweetheart?" Nikki gave a little moan in response.

"Alright. I'm going to go see where the ambulance is. Keep monitoring her stability for me, alright?" The woman nodded in agreement.

I ran over to the engine. "Cap, we have a young victim over on the street. She must have been thrown from the vehicle. There is a nurse who has her immobilized till the ambulance can get here."

Captain Banner nodded, "Good Cullen. Unfortunately, the ambulance is stuck in traffic. They are sending a medi-vac to pick them up. Go see if you can help Jazz and Em," he said, nodding in the direction of the car while he picked up his radio again.

I ran over to the car and saw Emmett half-way through the passenger's side window.

"What's up," I asked.

"The car is smoking," Jasper answered from behind Emmett. "There is one child in the back who had a pulse. Em's holding pressure to her head wound. The mom is dead, but the dad has a weak pulse. We can't get them out with all the body damage to the car. Go grab the jaws, dude."

I turned and ran to the engine. "Cap, grab the jaws." Captain Banner pulled them out of the back of the engine and handed the large, bulky hydraulic cutter we used to rip apart vehicles. "Cullen, I don't like that smoke coming from the car. You guys got five minutes, then I'm pulling you off!"

I nodded and ran back to the car. "Cap says we got five minutes!" I yelled to Jazz and Em.

"Shit, dude. That's not enough!" Emmett yelled back. "She has a strong pulse but she's pretty banged up. Get her out, man!"

I pulled the 'jaws' to the front of the car near the windshield and started it up. We could usually cut the top of the car off in minutes, but with the smoke increasing in thickness, I knew we would be cutting it close before the car went up in flames. I had the driver's side completely cut off and I handed Jasper the 'jaws'. Within thirty seconds, his end was disconnected from the frame. It took both of us to pry the top of the car off in order to get to the child.

Emmett jumped into the back seat and started to unbuckle the child's seatbelt. Just then, there was an explosion and we were all thrown from the car.

"Pull back now!" Captain Banner ordered.

"No!" Emmett screamed and he dove for the car again. I ran after him, trying to pull him back, but he was head first into the car in order to grab her. Jasper ran to the truck to try and pull a hose line in order to put the fire out.

Emmett and I pulled the child from the back seat; his left arm was badly singed from the fire. I took the girl from him and we placed her on the ground several feet from the car. Captain Banner and Jasper were working on getting the flames contained, while Emmett and I worked on the child.

She was a little girl, only a couple years older than the other victim.

Emmett was assessing her pulse while I checked for breathing.

"Her pulse is weak but it's there. She's badly burned. The 'copter's here!" Emmett exclaimed. Two flight paramedics came upon the scene. They strapped her to the gurney after applying a C-collar to her neck and loaded her on the helicopter.

Emmett and I returned to the engine and helped put out the flaming car. By this time, two other engine companies were on scene and helped with the cleanup. Unfortunately, the male victim was killed in the fire. The police were there, taking statements from witnesses and trying to get traffic moving again. The whole ordeal took less than an hour.

We loaded up and headed to Harborview Medical Center, where the little girls were taken. Captain wasn't very happy with Emmett. He was going to get written up for violating a direct order, but Emmett was only concerned about the little girl's well being.

We pulled up to the hospital and jumped out of the engine. Emmett was the first through the doors.

When we finally caught up to him, he was waiting outside Trauma Room One. He was holding his arm and cringing now and then. It didn't get missed by the Captain.

"McCarty," he bellowed. "Get your ass over to the nurse's station and get your arm checked out."

"I'm fine, Cap," Emmett tried to shrug it off.

"Now, McCarty! Don't disobey my orders again." Emmett nodded and walked over to a tall blonde nurse standing behind the large desk. She took him in the back to look at his arm and sent another nurse to check me out. She took a quick set of vitals and said that my oxygen levels were low. I guessed I had breathed in a lot more smoke than I realized and looked worse than I felt. Soon I had an oxygen mask on my face and was told to sit in the chairs outside the trauma room.

"_Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT, Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT, Respiratory to Emergency Room STAT!"_

Jasper was trying to look through the window to see what was happening. "I don't think it looks good. Your dad's in there, Edward."

I dropped my head into my hands; if my dad was in there working this long, then the girl's stability must have been very fragile. Since he was the head of the Trauma Department, my father's services were mostly required for the gravely injured or sick. I felt tears stinging the back of my lids and I closed my eyes.

"Hey, when you go in there to see what's happening, can you give us a heads up. We really wanna know how she's doing," Jasper asked a nurse who was trying to go into the room.

"No problem," a kind, soothing voice replied as she pushed her way into the room.

"What do you think is happening, Edward?" Jasper asked, concerned. I didn't answer him. I didn't have much training in the medical field, but I knew that the little girl's burns were extensive. Since skin serves as the human body's number one barrier from infection, I knew that even if she pulled through this one episode of cardiac failure, the risk for infection and Sepsis was another major threat. The likelihood of her surviving was slim. My heart ached at the realization of how much her life hung in the balanace.

I started to replay the scene in my head. _What could I have done differently?_ If I had just gone with the others to the car first. If I had just grabbed the 'jaws' quicker. I thought about the 'what if's' over and over, becoming more and more distraught as the minutes ticked on.

The doors opened and the nurse stepped out.

"She is in cardiac arrest. They are doing all they can, but it doesn't look good," she said softly.  
I felt the world spinning.

It was my fault. I didn't help her in time.

_Damn it; it's my fucking fault!_

I stood up, cursing myself for being so careless. I was better trained than this. I knew better. I should have known that the vehicle was my first priority. To hell with orders, I should have known.  
Before I knew it, I was out in the ambulance bay; my oxygen mask forgotten. I was pacing like a madman, mumbling under my breath, cursing the 'what if's'.

I walked back in, afraid to find out the little girl's status but needing to know, all the same. I leaned up against the far wall and waited, my head in my hands.

"Edward," I heard my father's voice. I looked up and could see his unshed tears.

I knew. She didn't make it.

_Damn._

"You did your best, son. I am proud of you regardless."

"I should have known, Dad."

"It's never easy, boy. You should know that by now." I nodded, letting a couple tears fall from my eyes.  
"Have you been seen by a nurse?" my father asked. I nodded again.

"Where is the other victim?" I asked, suddenly needing to see her. She was all alone; little Nikki was all alone and I needed to see her, to comfort her.

"She's in Room B," my father answered. "Take your time, but I want to see you before you leave." I nodded and headed in that direction. My feet felt like lead, but I needed to see her.

I found Room B easily enough and took a deep breath preparing myself for comforting an orphaned child.

I heard a soft, sweet voice echoing through the door; someone was singing inside and my heart jumped at the sound.

It was melodic, hypnotic; and I felt strangely drawn to the voice.

I opened the door and froze. There on the bed was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She was wrapped around Nikki's small body, comforting her and singing to her softly.

Her deep chestnut hair flowed behind her like a velvet curtain. Her delicate fingers were softly pulling through Nikki's hair as her sweet voice put her to sleep. Her frame was petite and thin enough to be able to fit on the small gurney, leaving plenty of room for Nikki's bulky cast and all her tubing and lines.

I watched for several minutes, captivated by her. She eventually fell asleep next to Nikki and I stepped out quietly.

I felt my pulse beating rapidly in my chest; my breaths were labored and my head was whirling. I felt the biggest rush I had ever felt in my life just listening to that woman sing.

I needed that feeling again and it scared me.

In that moment, my world had changed. I needed to know who she was; I needed that angel in my life.

And I was terrified beyond comprehension.


	3. Chapter 3 Siren's Call

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.  
**

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Chapter 3 - Siren's Call

BPOV

I got off work at 7:45 that night. I'd sat with Nikki for a couple more minutes after my shift, just lazily playing with her hair and humming softly. She was receiving a good amount of pain medication for her injuries and I knew that she would be asleep for a while, so I didn't feel as guilty leaving her for the evening; I planned to come see her the next day.

Rose was hanging out at the hospital for the rest of the night, claiming she wanted to check on one of the firemen who burned his arm pretty significantly. Alice went home earlier; she was probably elbows-deep into a large tub of triple fudge ice cream or in her gigantic, antique tub soaking the stressful events of the day away.

It had been an exhausting, depressing day and I needed solace.

I was an emotional wreck because the death of Nikki's family had resurfaced so many old wounds; ones that were often reopened by the death of any patient. It happened a lot at work and I dealt with it as best I could. But today was harder than the others. Trying to dissect the emotional day into understandable, meaningful pieces was the hardest part of coping. How did it make sense for a small child to lose her entire family in one afternoon?

It didn't.

It never would.

And I could relate to her pain on so many levels.

How do you find comfort in confusion, truth in turmoil, or peace with the pain of loss?

The answer was different for all of us.

Each of my coworkers had their own way of dealing with bad days. Some of them would seek counseling, some would depend on food, others would look towards a bottle of brandy to help find clarity.

Dr. Cullen, for example, usually delved deeper into his work. On days like today, he would sometimes pick up a couple extra hours at the hospital; tonight, he was working a double shift.

Alice had fashion to ease her stress. I sounded funny, but give that little pixie a credit card loaded with a couple grand and she could easily find comfort in the racks at the countless boutiques that Seattle had to offer. She was small, barely pushing five feet in height, but she had one of those adorably cute, petite bodies that looked absolutely delicious in today's hottest fashion trends. She would always say that her body was her canvas and the clothes were her art; she was quite the artist.

Rose used sex as her pacifier. She wasn't a whore, by any means; she just had a healthy sex life. And she was never in need for a man cause she always had at least one at her beck and call. She was gorgeous: tall, blonde, and a body to die for. One of those that made every woman take a hit on their ego when she walked into a room. Her strong, confident personality was just icing on the cake. Even if she didn't have a steady boyfriend or 'booty call' (as she like to refer to those 'friends with benefits'), she had her pink rubber 'friend' to ease her into mind-numbing ecstasy. It was a disturbingly loud vibrator she bought herself a couple Christmases ago she fondly calls 'Johnny on the Spot'. It seemed to do just fine.

I had my music.

Music was my one way to unwind, to drown away my sorrows, and to unleash tension. Whether I was singing and playing my guitar, or had my iPod on full blast, I always felt that music was so expressive, so vital. And it'd been my outlet for so many years.

I had a rough childhood. My parents were constantly fighting, causing them to divorce by the time I was ten. I lived with my mother but it hurt not seeing my dad, Charlie. He was my hero, my knight in shining armor, my one true best friend. The term 'daddy's little girl' described our relationship to a 'T'. I was his exact replica; a fact my mother, Renee, never let me forget.

One of our favorite things to do was go through my dad's old record collection of seventies and eighties rock bands. We'd play them on his old turntable and compare our favorites: Led-Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Steely Dan, The Police, Journey (yes, I said Journey).

He would teach me the finger points of what he called 'real music' and I reveled in it, soaking it up like a sponge. We turned it into a game: he would quote some classic rock song and I would relay the whos, whats and whens about it. It annoyed Renee; she was more of a folksy type. Me, I was an all-and-out rock 'n roller, like my Dad.

We moved to Phoenix after the divorce and I went into a depression. My mother continually cited the 'depressing weather' of Washington as her curse in life, hindering her ever capricious lifestyle. Of course, we had to move to the most sunny, wretched place on this planet in order for her to 'breathe'.

She was happier, but I was miserable. I missed him; missed his voice, his smell, his laugh. He provided me so much that I _needed_: comfort, security, familiarity. I felt lost without his constant presence.

Renee thought she could distract me by getting me into extracurricular activities. She signed me up for a local magnet school and insisted that I take choir and guitar lessons, probably hoping I would be the next 'Peter, Paul and Mary' or some shit. _No 'Puff the Magic Dragon' for me, thank you very much._

Perhaps she wanted me to keep a part of that connection to Charlie. Luckily for her, I loved it.

Music felt so expressive and I wrapped up all my emotions and feelings into my words when I sang. It was an incredible release. With music, I could create something meaningful, beautiful. My father was happy for me and bought me my first acoustic guitar, an old Martin dreadnought. It had a bright pink strap and markings that I thought made me look cool. The rich base sounds it provided harmonized with my soulful voice perfectly. I loved it. And every time I played it, I thought of him.

My father died a couple of months later. The doctors said it was a bad heart, but I thought it was heartbreak. It killed him to see me and my mom leave; he loved us both so unconditionally and completely. We were his life, and my mother took that away from him. I was extremely angry with my mother; mad for making me leave, mad for her breaking Charlie's heart, mad that she moved on so quickly with her current husband, Phil. I thought her rapid, whirlwind marriage to him was like spitting on my dad's still warm body. It formed a very prominent wedge in between my mother and me, and things have never been the same.

I left her house as soon as I graduated High School and moved back to Washington. I held on to the music though, like it was my lifeline, a connection to my father's memory.

Music became my outlet and I concentrated on it whole heartedly. I wrote the most beautiful song in my father's memory, but refuse to play it outside the comfort of my bedroom; something about it being so personal and raw with emotion that I had never felt comfortable enough to share it with any other living soul.

Maybe the reason why I loved music so much is because the songs usually spoke about love, the challenges of it, or the meaning of life.

Perhaps that was why I chose a career that dealt with death: the ultimate human tragedy. In my profession, there was a choice and an action. I have the opportunity to take life back, to change an outcome where someone would have died without my help, to create something miraculous out of tragedy. Music is a lot like that: creativity when there is destruction, control when there is utter chaos.

It was my emotional release from all that I had seen, all that I had experienced, and all that I had lost.

Tonight, I needed my release.

I pulled up to 'Big Ed's Pub'. It was a local joint that offered 'Open Mic' night on Friday evenings. The small bar was a vague interpretation of a southern saloon and it reminded me of an old Western movie my father often watched. I used to come here a lot when I first moved to town. I knew the owner really well.

"Bella!" Big Ed greeted me with open arms. I pulled in for his big papa bear hug. He was a large, round man, old enough to be my grandfather. He had always made me feel welcome, making 'Big Ed's' feel like my home away from home. It was a place I could come and just…play. It was far enough away from work that I didn't think I would ever run into someone I knew. Seattle was a big city, after all. It gave me comfort knowing that the chances of me running into anyone from my everyday life were slim to none. Music was private to me and not something I felt like I wanted to share with those I worked with.

"Hey Ed." I replied solemnly.

"Bad day, huh?" I didn't have to answer; he knew it had been. He could read me like a worried, over-protective father, probably interpreting the tension in my neck or the sadness in my eyes. But one great thing about Big Ed: he didn't hover.

"Who's up first?" I asked, completely dodging his observation as I removed my heavy wool winter coat, looking over to the small wooden stage where the musicians played.

"Some yahoo who couldn't keep on key if it killed him," Ed drawled, shaking his head in the direction of the stage.

Fortunately for me, there were some quite talented people who frequented the stage here. I enjoyed the music, the sound of the acoustics sent a pulse through my spine and I bathed in the magic of it.

Unfortunately, Big Ed was right about the 'yahoo' on the stage. He was a pale, pock-faced, lanky kid, probably just barely twenty-one years old; fake ID's rarely got passed Ed, so I knew he had to be at least that. He was attempting to sing and play his toy guitar, frequently having to pause to place his fingers on the right cords before he gave a hesitant strum on the strings. His voice cracked as he tried to hit the high notes of 'More Than Words', one of my all time favorite songs. A classic.

And he was butchering it.

I sighed in frustration, deciding right then and there that it would be my feature for the evening. There was something about being able to resurrect a classic tune from the floor after a timid, wanna-be musician killed it. I couldn't just let it be like that, leaving all these patrons of good music left with a slaughtered version of one of the greatest rock ballads ever created.

Big Ed could see my frustration.

"You gunna do that one, aren't ya."

"Yup," I answered, emphasizing the 'P' just to make my point. I scanned the bar to check out my audience. There were a couple people I didn't recognize, and some that I knew.

I saw Jimmy the bartender at the end of the bar near the door.

"Hey Jimmy," I called out to him, waving a polite 'hello'. We had tried to date once; emphasis on 'tried'. It was fun; he liked to go to underground Punk or Rockabilly concerts and I loved the chance to hear good live music. But, after one night of hot, meaningless sex and two months of awkward, uncomfortable evasion, we knew we were better off as acquaintances. Don't get me wrong; Jimmy was fuckhot, in that tattooed, steel-pierced, rebellious and deviant kind of way. It was just that his idea of passion was wild crazy sex laced with avoidance and non-commitment. No thanks. Still, Jimmy was nice; and he loved to hear me play.

He made his way down to me, smiling and eye-fucking me generously. If it wasn't for our history, and the fact that I knew he was like that with all the ladies, I might have played with the thought of the mindless-sex again, just to clear up my morbidly arid 'dry spell'. But the awkwardness and self-loathing that were sure to follow killed that thought before I could contemplate it seriously. I rolled my eyes and sighed internally, damning my conscious for being reasonable; it had really been a long time.

"The usual?" he asked as he got closer, a coy smile tugging his lips.

"Sure," I nodded; he knew that I usually had a shot of Whiskey before I took the stage, another frequent favorite of my father's. He poured me a small shot and I gulped it down hurriedly. We talked for a while, mostly about this new band he wanted to see. I asked him how school was going; Jimmy was trying to get his degree in business, hoping to open a tattoo shop in the near future. He asked me about my sex life. Again. Jimmy was fun to flirt with, but I wasn't going there with him. Conversations about my vividly absent sex-life would lead to something a bit more… prolific, and I'd 'done rode that pony' with Jimmy and wasn't interested in a repeat performance. Well, maybe the performance part of it, but not the aftereffects. He smiled knowingly and turned to get back to work, winking at me suggestively. _Dick_.

I sat and talked to Big Ed about my day while a couple other free-lance musicians took the stage. I didn't burden him with the finer details, but he got the gist that it had been one of those days. He clasped a large hand on my shoulder in comfort; such a paternal gesture. My heart began to ache silently for that missing person in my life, wanting to see him more than ever in that moment. I could feel the familiar burn in the pit of my chest, whether from the shot or from the heartache, causing the tears to cluster at the edge of my eyes for just a split second, but not spilling over the brim.

I sat there lost in my own thoughts for countless minutes, thinking about my dad, about Nikki, and about the firemen that tried to save her family.

My thoughts lingered on them, the firemen. My job was tough, but to be on scene, in the field where everything was happening must have been a hard experience…

I had seen the moment when time ceases to exist, the moment when the light disappeared from someone's eyes and they were on to bigger and better things. And I had seen the faces of those they left behind. Tragedy. I saw it everyday.

But to be the one responsible for giving that initial aide, to be the first responders who held precious life in their hands…

What a burden to carry. Those men deserved a large amount of respect and gratitude.

I thought of that firefighter slumped in the chair outside the trauma room, covered in soot and sweat, worried about Nikki's sister. He looked like a fallen warrior, covered in the scorn of battle, defeated. Only his enemy was death itself. How he must have felt to watch Nikki's parents die with no hope of saving them. Then to have Nikki's sister die, it was almost too much.

Too raw.

"You're up kiddo," Big Ed called, pulling me from my silent reverie. I nodded numbly, almost glad that I was caught up in an emotional moment. Most people would try to push those thoughts away when they were getting ready to perform in front of an audience. Not me. I thrived on the emotions because it made my music that more passionate. No matter what I was singing.

I took a deep, cleansing breath and a small smile played with at the corner of my mouth. I walked up to the small makeshift stage and took out my old dreadnought guitar from its case, thinking of Nikki, of my father, of that 'Warrior of Death'.

This is what I needed.

Music.

It always went back to the music.

I adjusted the mic, sat on the tall wooden stool and began the first cord.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

EPOV

I was sick of the scene: the hospital scene where all the single nurses _had_ to assess 'the cute injured fireman' to render their opinion on whether I met a clean bill of health. _My Father was the doctor, for shit's sake._

They were so transparent.

And I was fine, physically; I was alive and without harm, despite my small smoke inhalation.

My mind, on the other hand, was a different story.

Luckily, I didn't have to go back to the station that night. Emmett, Jasper, and I were given the night off due to our 'injuries'. Ben, Seth, and Paul were ordered back to fill our positions for the evening. To say they were peeved would be a small understatement.

Jasper had inhaled too much smoke and was having coughing spells. Bronchospasms was what I thought my Dad said it was. He had to hang out in the ED longer than I did, receiving oxygen and respiratory treatments over the next couple hours.

Emmett had a second degree burn on his right forearm and would be spending the night in the Burn Unit over at Harborview. He was pissed, to say the least. After he was initially treated, he fought tooth and nail to visit Nikki. Usually, it was only family allowed in the Pediatric ward, but after he placed a significant guilt trip on the nursing staff, he was allowed entrance. When they tried to admit him to the Burn Unit for observation, that big teddy bear refused to leave Nikki's side, stating that he would have to be 'good and dead' before he left. One of the nurses said she would check on her and give him frequent full reports. Reluctantly, and with my father's infamous and well-practiced 'Cullen manipulation', he agreed.

I just felt like shit; the epitome of a brooding bastard, plagued by the constant storm of thoughts and emotions running through my head accompanied dutifully by _her _charming, melodic voice. I couldn't stop her frequent appearance in my mind since I'd seen her by the little girl's bedside. Secretly, I was hoping to see her again, to maybe catch a glance of her walking the halls of the busy Emergency Department. But I had found myself to be disappointed, for she was no where to be found. It seemed every female nurse, technician, respiratory therapist and phlebotomist had, at one point, entered my little triage bay to 'check' on my stability. But not her, and I was beginning to feel a deluge of emotions about that fact. I was happy, then confused. Depressed, then hopeful. Lustful, then guilty. Whiplash would be an understatement.

Confliction. I think that word summed up my feelings completely. In the back of my mind, I knew that the events of the day had been tragic. I'd seen a lot of death, and there was a little girl, somewhere in that hospital, that needed support because she'd lost her entire family that day. That same little girl, Nikki, I'd remembered her name to be, had been comforted by a beautiful woman; since then, thoughts of that woman had begun to overshadow the overwhelming feelings of failure and loss that had consumed me earlier, after the death of Nikki's sister. I'd been on an emotional rollercoaster in the last five hours; and I was dizzy. The sad thing was, I had no desire to get off.

_She_ was the cause; my own personal storm sent here to ruin me. 'Hurricane Venus' was her name and her sights were set on ravaging my little world. Maybe Venus was the wrong goddess. What was the name of those legendary creatures; the ones who could lure sailors to their deaths by the sound of their voice? _The Sirens_?

Yes, that's what she was: a Siren.

My own personal, tormenting Sea Nymph, come to sing my soul into entrapment.

I was internally and frustratingly spellbound by her voice, and I couldn't shake her toxin from my system.

I shouldn't be dwelling on her. I'd had a rough day at work, with the death of a child weighing heavily on my conscience. I was so swept up in my mixed emotions that I felt I wasn't giving the little girl's death the proper mourning it deserved. _Insert guilt here_.

"Edward," my father's voice pulled me from my inner torment. "You can go home, son. Your latest ABG looked good. I don't think you need to stay overnight." I nodded solemnly as the polar opposite thoughts of leaving the hospital were conflicting and raging within me. I was glad to go home, but afraid to leave not ever knowing if I'd ever see her again.

"How's Jazz?" I asked, trying to distract myself. I noticed that my father carried a heavy load of grief on his shoulders, evidenced by his hunched posture, curved in defeat and pain, and the hooded sadness of his eyes. The guilt of the little girl's death hit me again, stronger than it had all day, for it was my fault she was dead. I didn't save her. I'd failed, yet again.

"He's improving," my father answered, coming to sit on the edge of my extremely uncomfortable gurney. "I think he should be able to head home soon." I nodded, not meeting my father's gaze. I couldn't see the loss and sorrow he carried anymore, because I'd caused it. It was my initial failure that caused my father pain. If I'd been able to pull that little girl from the car, if I'd gotten there sooner, if I'd just been that much faster, I…

"It wasn't your fault, Edward," my father's voice interrupted my spiraling thoughts of blame and self-hatred. He always was able to recognize when my thoughts of destruction consumed me. He put his warm, large hand on my trembling leg, a comforting gesture. I shook him off quickly.

"You weren't there," I grumbled, my voice scratchy from the amount of smoke I'd inhaled. "You don't know…"

"I _do _know," my father interrupted. "I know _you_. I know that you would have done everything you could to save Nikki's family. I know that you are extremely good at what you do, better than most in your field. I know that you take every life that is place in your hands and do whatever you need to do to make sure they receive the help they need. And I know that you hold yourself needlessly responsible for those lives you can't save. You always have. But you can't control death, Edward. Who lives and who dies is not up to us. Those decisions are in God's hands." I scoffed at that.

"Edward," my father sighed, exasperated. He'd known my thoughts of God, and he'd understood my anger, more than anyone. But he'd forgiven his God a long time ago for what had happened to me, to him. I, on the other hand, still held my burning torch of resentment and defiance. A fact, I had thought, would ultimately put a large wedge between my father and I. It hadn't, much to my surprise and gratitude.

Twenty minutes later, I was pulling up to the station to change out of my grungy turnouts. My muscles were sore from exertion and stress, which was common after a day like I'd experienced. I'd never felt how much my body went through during a fire or when I'd have to pull a car roof apart, the adrenaline coursing through my veins had always masked it. But afterwards, the sore muscles and tight joints reared their ugly faces, claiming their rightful place as hidden battle scars.

I was in need of a nice hot shower, and a cold beer.

I didn't want to go home after I was showered and changed into my clothes I'd always kept at the station, back to the riverside townhouse I shared with Jasper and Emmett; at least not until I could drown my 'bipolar emotions' and sore body with a couple of brews.

I pulled up to a local dive that would occasionally have some live music. I thought it would be good company along with a good cold beer. I needed it after my conversation with my father. And even after all that I'd been through in the day, _she _still was at the forefront of my mind. Hopefully the acoustics would drive away that sweet voice that still plagued me and I could forget I had ever heard it.

_Hopefully? Who are you kidding, Cullen?_

I sat at the end of the bar, listening to some poor sap absolutely fry one of my all-time favorite rock ballads like an alley cat serenading its long lost love. I guessed good music was too much to ask for.

_Figures_.

"Hey man, you alright?" the bartender asked me. He seemed genuinely concerned and I started to worry that maybe I was wearing my out-of-control thoughts on my sleeve.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I placated. He started to come closer to me, probably trying to play the bartender/therapist role and I so did not want or need that shit right now. I'd had enough from my father's 'God-talk' and the resounding disappointment that followed. This brooding bastard wanted solitude, not an audience. Luckily, someone diverted him from the end of the bar.

"Hey Jimmy," a woman called to him, effectively stopping his advancement towards me. I was silently thankful, smiling into my beer like a crazy person. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts so that I could drink away the endless banter in my head.

I was beyond grateful when the horrid rendition of 'More Than Words' ended and another person took the stage. The music was increasingly better as the night wore on, and after a couple more brews, I felt myself beginning to relax. But my thoughts were not mind-numbingly blank, like I'd hoped they'd be. Instead, my mind dwelled on _her_, again.

_Who is this…Siren, this Temptress? Completely nothing to me. I am Edward-make-you-cum-on-command Cullen_. _I usually had girls drooling over me, wanting me constantly. Not the other way around. I am reluctant to 'move on' to another relationship, yes. But I don't do obsession and I don't do infatuation . _

_I do. Period. _

My inner pep-talk was a joke, really. Laughable. I never really had that much self-confidence, unlike the mask I frequently wore on my face; I portrayed the outer 'Cullen Confidence' to a 'T'. I innerwardly believed that I was a complete failure, amounting to nothing more than half the man I should've been. An opinion that was shared by my ex-girlfriend, Tanya, my Grandfather and the rest of the Cullen clan, Carlisle excluded. I should have been a doctor, like Carlisle. Or a businessman, like my Grandfather. Or a lawyer, like my uncle Aro. Or an artist or Wall Street trader, like my…

_Ass, don't think about that shit right now. Drink, motherfucker. Drink!_

I guzzled down my cold beer and motioned for another. My fifth? Sixth? Who the fuck knew?

_Tanya. That bitch really had done a number on my self-confidence in the last six months. She'd been amazing, in the beginning. I thought she was 'the-one', as her friends had often spouted: a match made in societal-heaven. A Denali and A Cullen, two of Seattle's highest esteemed families finally joined by marriage and love. _

_What a crock of shit._

I finished my beer and found another one waiting for me. I gestured a slight nod to the bartender in thanks and acknowledgement for the free-flowing alcohol he seemed to know I'd needed.

A flash of deep brunette hair came into my mind as I stared at the beer-drenched wood of the bar, hoping to find another course of thoughts I could dwell on, ones that didn't involve my job, or my father, or my failure and lack of propriety to carry on the Cullen tradition of success and wealth.

_It came back to her, always her. Perhaps that's where my thoughts should lie: my sweet Siren. She seemed to be the only thing that could distract me from the utter fuck-up my life seemed to be in. _

_Maybe she could be my distraction from it all, even if she only resided in my mind; I could imagine her voice whenever I needed it, pulling me away from all the stress I am under. I could picture her and it would all go away, overshadowed by her image completely_.

_Great, I'm going crazy now. Hoping for an imaginary girlfriend. _

_Shit._

I shook my head, trying to clear it from the ridiculous avenue of thought I seemed to travel down. I must have looked like a crazy person, because there were several people who'd begun to stare at me with cocked eyebrows and expressions of concern.

_Why was it that this woman seemed to be able to hold my attention so thoroughly?_ This was a thought that bothered me above all else. It wasn't like I'd seen her very clearly, for she had been lying on damned gurney, wrapped around a little girl. In reality, the little girl should have been my focal point, for she had suffered so much more than me. I could relate to her loss, offer some type of comfort that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But the woman was where my attention was captured, and it hadn't seemed to have left, despite the amount of overwhelming stress I'd been under.

_She was beautiful, at least as much as I could see of her, it was true. But she is nothing to me. Why am I so enthralled?_

It was her voice, I knew. But I didn't understand _why _it seemed to have had such a profound impact on me.

_Cause you're a pansy ass, Cullen. _

I laughed at myself, probably louder than I should have because a woman who was standing next to me waiting for her Martini asked me what was so funny. I couldn't answer her without her thinking I was certifiable. So, I just shook my head and continued to drink.

_You see, that's the kind of woman you should be going for, Cullen. _

She was obviously interested, for she stayed and sat down on the stool next to me. She was pretty, a good one-night distraction if I so chose. But I found myself uninterested and unmotivated to flirt; after a couple minutes of mildly interesting conversation, she got the gist that I wasn't into her and left.

_Pansy ass._

_Maybe the strange draw to her voice was brought about by my current desperate need to get laid. No simple humming could have that kind of reaction, right?_

The mixture of distance and alcohol practically had me convinced that maybe I did need to 'move on', as Emmett had said earlier. Perhaps the only reason this mysterious woman had so much of an effect on me was because I had been too wrapped up in what Tanya had done to me to see other women clearly.

Tanya. _Ha_.

She was a tropical storm in her own right. Her path of destruction had been thorough and devastatingly precise. My one attempt at 'adult monogamy' had turned around and bit me in the ass. Some would say what Tanya did was poetic justice; after all, I myself had been caught in the same predicament she had. But I had been young and those women I wasn't monogamous with hadn't trusted me with their hearts, like I had Tanya. She and I had an understanding of commitment and declarations of love between us.

I guess that's what I got for trusting someone so blindly. Especially, a Denali, as my Grandfather lovingly reminded me when he'd found out the wedding was off.

Maybe what happened with Tanya was a sign that I was looking in the wrong places for the 'right kind of girl', as my mother kept telling me. Maybe getting involved with a Denali wasn't the best choice. Or, maybe love just wasn't in my cards. Maybe I was destined to be Seattle's bachelor. Maybe I would be a man's version of the old spinster women, smelling like cat piss and moth balls.

_Maybe I just needed another drink. _

"Okay folks," some high-pitched voice squawked into the microphone. I turned from my seat on the stool unsteadily and began glaring in its direction, trying to focus on the blurred image.

"We have our girl, Bella back tonight. So, round of applause for all our acts tonight. But, Bella will be the last for the evening." There was a small increase in the energy within the small crowd. I heard a couple people start whispering and talking to each other. A girl leaned over to her friends and began saying something like, 'this is the one I was telling you about'.

I started to feel a little excited too; apparently this last singer was really good and I could use the comforting music to add to my self-actualization, that I needed to start over, move on; I was celebrating that fact.

A small, petite woman took the stage and started pulling out her guitar; her long curtain of dark hair obscured her face from the audience, and I had a strange desire to pull it back and tuck it behind her delicate ear.

It took her several minutes to adjust the microphone to her height and get herself situated, but the audience was patiently waiting on a razor point for her to begin. I found myself just as anxious to hear her.

The sound of her acoustic guitar started filling the air, and it was odd how everyone seemed to visibly relax, a small content smile on each of their faces. I observed their reaction with morbid interest. Maybe it was the overflowing alcohol in my system, but I was strangely entertained by it all.

Then she sang.

And I was struck, into silence and into stone; my vision tunneled and focused directly on her. The audience disappeared and she was all I could see.

_The 'Siren' has come for my soul. _

It was _her_; my Melodic Muse. She had found me and her pull was magnetic. Her voice was like the call of Heaven's Angels, 'coming forth to carry me home'.

It took me awhile to recognize the song she was singing.

'_More Than Words'? Of course._

Her version was different though; her voice added more soul and the pace was slower than the original, making it more passionate and incredibly sexy.

I was enchanted.

Right then, I knew that there must have been some Cosmic Comedian in the heavens who was laughing his ass off at my expense. She was here. Of all places in all of Seattle, I had to choose the one joint she frequents to drown my confusing cacophony of thoughts, fueled by _her _simply humming to a young girl in need of comfort. This had to have been planned. There was no way that sheer chaos determined our fates; because here I was, trapped in a small room filled to the brim with her resonance.

_There is a God, and He is my tormenter._

I watched her in a trance-like state, half comatose, as she sang two more songs at the request of the audience. I couldn't even remember what she sang, only that I was mesmerized by her very essence.

I stared at her mouth _alone _for several moments: the origin of her hypnotic croon. Her lips were full and slathered in red; and I wondered if they were as soft as they looked. Her skin was a flawless color of cream and roses, taking on the characteristics of fine china or porcelain. Her body, well that which I could see, was small and curved. She fit perfectly into the silk, red blouse she wore. And the jeans were tight enough to hug her ass, accentuating its shape.

Perfection.

I was intoxicated by her and I was liquored up with liquid courage to top it off. It couldn't be a good combination.

I continued to watch her long after she sang, admiring her like a foreign delicacy too sweet and perfect to consume. She spoke to the bartender for a while; they seemed vaguely familiar with each other and I didn't like the way he was looking at her, like he'd seen her delicious body naked and open for his pleasure. The thought of him 'knowing' her intimately created a burning pain in my chest.

_Mine! _

_Whoa, where the hell did that come from? _

I don't know how long I sat and watched her simply talking, but it was long enough for the place to completely vacate, leaving me alone with her and the bartender. At the moment that I became acutely aware of that fact, she turned and met my appraising stare.

The deepest of deep brown eyes locked onto me like a tractor beam. If possible, I was even more drawn to her. If her voice was hypnotic, her eyes were a mysterious chasm. And looking into them felt like falling into a pit of ecstasy and warmth. The color was vivid, yet calm. Rich, but subtle. And I was lost inside them.

There was so much emotion behind those eyes, more than I had ever seen in another individual. It was like her soul was present at the surface, for all to see and interpret.

Something within me snapped in that moment. I became this possessed, lust-driven lion, braced and ready to fight any other suitor for her hand. And I was out of control.

I felt an overwhelming need to flee the scene of inherent doom on one hand, but a strange intense lure to stay on the other.

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth as she looked at me, a nervous habit perhaps. But it was my undoing. I felt my sympathetic nervous system kick in as my heart raced and my palms began to sweat. My blood pressure was rising, and unfortunately 'little Eddie' thrived in the increased blood supply. I had to leave quickly, before my 'problem' could tear through my clothes like the Incredible Hulk and attack the poor woman. Maybe driven by curiosity or my increased abundance of testosterone, I stayed; watching her chew her bottom lip raw. Captivated.

"Hey dude. Do you want another one?" the bartender asked. I broke my eye contact with her, just long enough to shake my head 'no'. But, when I turned around, she was gone. And the rollercoaster ride began again. This time, I was buying an all-around ticket.

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**AN: There are links on my profile to the blog for this story. There will be bonus features and teasers posted on that site. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4 Cardioversion

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

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Chapter 4- Cardioversion

BPOV

Beautiful.

That was what he was. Beautiful.

It wasn't a common term for a woman to use to describe a man. Usually, the compliment was paid in the opposite direction. But I couldn't find any other term that even came close to describing him, except simply...beautiful.

The atmosphere at 'Big Ed's' was excellent. The mixture of music and good company was exactly what I had needed to ease my stress.

I sat on that familiar wooden stool, my father's gifted guitar in my arms, and played 'More Than Words' with all of my emotions floating at the surface.

I could say that I was pretty sure I gave the song its due justice. The audience seemed satisfied with my rendition of that sourly butchered rock ballad and called for two more encores. I, of course, obliged.

I offered my interpretation of 'Original Fire' by Audioslave and 'I Got You Babe' by (of course) Sonny and Cher. The latter version was something I was quite proud of. It may have sounded like a horrible song to cover, being that it debuted during the peak of the horribly ruche, acid-laced time of the sixties music genre, but my version wascompletely different than the original.

My father, of course, was my inspiration for the cover. He (pathetically, I might add) adored that song because it reminded him of my mother. Renee's father, Grandpa Tom, didn't take to Charlie at first. He felt they were too young and twitterpated to be truly committed to one another. The song became their mantra; and I remembered several times he would break into the main chorus in the middle of an argument, just to get my mom to smile.

I took that cheesy love song and made it into something of my own. I slowed down the cadence, took the key up an octave, and changed the order of the words a bit. With the deep base of my dreadnaught, the mixture of my compelling voice was perfect. In the end, I had transformed it into a seductive, sultry, sexy piece of music. I only played it in public a handful of times, but always got a good response to it.

So there I was, riding the euphoric high I got after a performance, when I first saw him. He was sitting at the end of the bar with a Coors in his hand. I could see him watching me, but I tried not to let him know that I'd noticed him ogling.

At first, I thought he was just another one of those guys who'd listened to me play and were 'inspired to come talk to me' because they thought they had 'felt something between us'. I'd heard it before; men trying to seduce me home, thinking I was singing to them personally.

_What a load..._

I was pretty, but not one of those 'drop dead' gorgeous beauties that guys drooled over, like Rose and Alice. I'd had my fair share of romantic interests, but I'd also learned a hard lesson about dating guys that approached me after I'd performed. I'd accepted a date once, but it ended poorly; I woke up in a strange apartment, half naked, with a 'Dear John' letter left on my pillow. I guessed I wasn't that interesting unless I was singing. From that experience, I knew that any attraction by a guy my voice stimulated wasn't genuine. It was a natural reaction to my talent, not to me as a person.

Due to my history, I thought he was one of 'those guys' when I first caught him staring. I started talking to Jimmy after the show, trying to give the guy a subtle hint that I wasn't interested in him by playing into Jimmy's overly suggestive body language towards me. I didn't think he bought it though, because he kept staring. I thought Jimmy saw him too; he kept giving me sly winks and nods in the stranger's direction as we talked. I could have killed him once he 'oh-so-slyly' turned his back on me in middle of our conversation, leaving me alone with my admirer. I was so frustrated and didn't really want to ruin this night with some stranger's meaningless advances towards something I had no interest in. I turned to face him, ready to give him the let down in order to save myself unnecessary grief.

Immediately, everything seemed to become foggy around my peripherals and all of my vision just locked onto a pair of inhumanly, vivid green eyes.

I was overwhelmed, suddenly overtaken by a powerful connection to him.

It was like the world had stopped; as if time had ceased to matter, only numbered by his precious heart beats, the movement of his chest as he breathed. Life itself seemed to depend on the powerful energy radiating from his electric green eyes. So erotic and so luminous, I was utterly assailed by the attention they demanded.

His gaze was expressive and clearly admiring; I suddenly became self-conscious under his scrutiny. I began gnawing on my bottom lip, a habit I'd had from birth, almost. Unfortunately, it seemed to increase the subtle tension in his eyes, making him all that more mysterious, more intense.

It was like he had this orgasmic, commanding essence that caused me to automatically respond to him. Almost like he had every single one of my ions polarized towards his body, causing them to be magnetically drawn to his. He was the positive. I was the negative. Like the force of two magnets being held apart, my body was fighting to get to his.

I couldn't take it.

He was too much; too expressive and too passionate for me to survive his draw. When he turned to Jimmy to grab another beer, I bolted. There was no easy way to put it, I fled. Plain out 'beat-feet' outta there.

I would've liked to say that I was just unsure about the motivations behind his appraisal and that was why I left in a hurry, but it would have been an all and out lie.

It was like my heart couldn't take the overwhelming emotions that he inspired and my brain automatically took over; the fight or flight response kicked in. Before I could even process what had happened, I was in my car panting and sweating like I had run a 5K.

_What the hell had just happened? _

I had never, ever felt that strongly about another individual in my life. That just didn't happen. Immediate attraction like that just didn't exist, right?

I mulled over the electricity I felt from him in my mind. My pulse was racing under my exhilarated skin and I started to breathe rapidly. My eyes widened and I started feeling like I was having a bona fide panic attack.

It just wasn't like me to have that kind of reaction out of the blue to some stranger. I didn't even know who he was; I barely registered that he had gorgeous bronze colored hair, and didn't even know if he had dressed like a bum. He could have been a street person for all I knew, not someone that should hold this much interest for me so quickly.

I tried and tried to calm my bodily 'freak out' as best I could, but was suddenly having trouble remembering how to start my car.

_Are you kidding me? Swan, get it together! For heaven's sake._

After several minutes of fumbling, I finally figured out that I had to stick the key in the hole to get the damn car started.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

As I raced home through the busy streets of Seattle, I attempted to clear my mind of all things 'Green Eyes'. I tried to think of my father, but my damn version of the song popped into my head, automatically pulling me back to _him. _I thought of Nikki and then of work. I thought of coding patients and the adrenaline. I thought of fast pulses, I thought of sweat…I started to sweat. I thought of fast breathing…panting…moaning…'Green Eyes'.

_Oh hell._

* * *

If I had hoped that my draw to him would diminish over time, I was sorely disappointed. For the next two weeks, I was consumed with thoughts of 'Green Eyes'. I just couldn't get past that strong initial reaction to him and I started worrying about what it all meant. If my initial attraction was that strong without the man even opening his mouth, I could only imagine how it would feel for him to touch me.

I started really regretting running out of there so fast, and began berating myself over and over again. I even went back to 'Big Ed's' the next two Fridays to see if he'd show up, but he never did. I was starting to come to the realization that I may never see him again and I went into a miniature depression. Captain Morgan became my best friend as I tried to drown his electric eyes from my mind.

Rose and Alice were no help; they were both obsessed with these firemen they'd met. That night that I had come home from 'Big Ed's', I'd sat them both down and tried to put my experience with 'Green Eyes' into simplistic words. No matter how I tried to describe my connection to him, the words seemed feeble and futile compared to the raw power of it.

My best friends had listened to me attempt to explain my elusive 'Green Eyes', but they both had glossed-over looks on their faces, frequently interrupting me to say they had felt the same connection to their objects of attraction.

Rose had spent two days with her fireman, watching over him while he recovered from an injured arm. On the third day, she had to work a shift in the ED. By the time she was able to go see him, he'd already been discharged. She really thought they'd shared a strong connection and was upset he didn't leave his number for her. It would've been unethical for her to discover where he lived through his hospital records, and Rose was never the type to pursue a man that didn't seem interested.

Alice only saw her fireman once, but was convinced that they were soul mates. She wasn't as worried about her fated romance as Rose because she felt that it was only a matter of time before their paths crossed again.

The three of us were quite the sight; all overly obsessed with our fickle Romeos, pining for their admiration, and asking each other for advice on how to woo said Romeos. It took several days for us to figure out that none of us were really 'listening' to each other moping; we were so wrapped up in our own fantasies that reality was hard to grasp.

And I couldn't pull away from the trance I was consumed by, even if my life had depended on it. The raw energy from him was a part of me now; like it had seeped into my pores and charged each of my cells. I was on hyper drive with no sign of settling down. His electric eyes plagued my thoughts during the day, and my dreams at night. To say that I was a little preoccupied by him would be putting it mildly.

I tried to distract myself as best I could. Work seemed to be the best avenue for that. I delved in as deep as I could, filling the down time with visits to Nikki's room.

She had been doing well, and was likely to be released from the pediatric center in the next week. Luckily, her aunt and uncle lived in town and had decided to take her in. They seemed like loving people, the few times that I had seen them. They would smile kindly at her, hugging her when she looked sad or said she missed her parents.

I'd been coming to see her during, and at the end of, every shift at the hospital. It was our ritual; I would come around breakfast time, sing to her the 'Good Mornin' song from _Singing in the Rain _that my mother used to sing to me, and we would eat our breakfast together. At lunch, I would come to her room, sometimes bringing my guitar with me, and sang any song she requested. Her favorite was 'Hush-a-bye Mountain'. She loved my singing and I was inspired by her. It seemed to make the days at work go by easier, for both of us.

The last couple of days had been different, though. The work was pretty much the same, but I hadn't been able to break away from the ED because I had an trainee: a new nurse fresh out of nursing school.

_Argh!_

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed training. It just made the day go by so much slower. I was constantly teaching, making sure she was confident in the knowledge she had and instructing her on what she didn't. Plus, I had to cross her T's and dot her I's, making sure if she missed something, it didn't slip through the cracks. Since I was basically responsible for her, I had to be prepared to catch her if she was ready to give a life-altering drug to some un-needy patient.

Needless to say, I'd been busy, which was probably a good thing because my obsession with 'Green Eyes' had bypassed innocence and was careening straight toward borderline neurotic.

"Um, Dr. Connelly?" I heard my trainee, Angela, hesitantly ask one of our fresh-out-of-med-school interns.

"I have a pediatric patient over in Bay One that is Tachycardic. His heart rate is from 180 to 210. Do you want any other orders besides the basic blood work?" She sounded unsure of herself at first, but I was proud that she took initiative, already presuming basic screening work would be ordered, then asked for further direction of care. With more confidence in her growing skills, she would be a good asset to our team.

"Sure. Ummm. Give five milligrams of Adenosine IV push now," Dr. Connelly ordered.

_What? He wanted to push Adenosine? On a pediatric patient? _I was shocked.

Adenosine: basically a liquid cardiovert. It's purpose was to stop the electrical activity of the heart for a short period of time, allowing the conduction to restart in a normal pattern. Basically, it stopped your heart for a couple seconds and then _hopefully _it would restart into a normal rhythm.

And Dr. Dipshit wanted to give it to a pediatric patient. _Did he even assess the patient before ordering such a drug? _

All he would need to do was follow the Advanced Cardiac Life Support guidelines in order to give a proper treatment plan. I had been teaching ACLS for the past two years, along with Rose and Alice, and was extremely familiar with the careset, as should any Emergency Room physician.

I watched Angela from afar, hoping beyond hope that she would not just take his order and run with it. _Hopefully_, something in the back of her mind, fueled by all her extensive training in nursing school, would tell her _'No, this is an order I should question'_.

"Ummm, Doctor?" Angela approached, cautiously. "Do you think that you should come see him first? I mean, his vital signs are stable, except for the heart rhythm…"

Dr. Connelly looked taken aback. I could see the all-too-familiar look of consternation form on his face; one that said '_I am the Doctor. And you are a mere nurse'. _There had been many-a-intern that we 'feeble-minded' nurses had to put in their place. You know that saying: if you want to know what is really going on with the patient, find the nurse. Yeah…Dr. Connelly had met the wrath of me, Alice and Rose countless times. It didn't help the fact that he had, on more than one occasion, tried to get into my, Alice and Rose's pants as well. _Creep._

"I gave you the order," Dr. Connelly spat at Angela while she cowered like a beaten dog. "Do not make me call your charge nurse."

I'd had enough.

"Dr. Connelly," I interrupted his tirade on our poor new grad. "Can I see you over in Bay One, please?"

"Ms. Swan. I am glad you are here," Dr. Connelly said snootily as we walked around the corridor to the bay walls, poor Angela following behind like a dog with its tail between its legs.

"I just told this nurse to give-"

"Adenosine, yeah I know." I stopped right before we approached Bay One, so that the patient's mother wouldn't hear me put this doctor in his place. I glanced over at the monitor, seeing that the heart rate was in a Super Ventricular Rhythm of about 180. I looked at the patient, who seemed to be about twelve years old. I rolled my eyes, thinking of a logical care plan for this patient that would totally avoid giving him a medicinal cardioversion.

"Have you even looked at this patient, Dr. Connelly?" He stood there and didn't answer, looking over to the bay and realizing that it was just a twelve year old boy.

"She didn't say he was so young," he answered, tersely. I scoffed; I knew he was lying. Angela mumbled something under her breath.

"What did you say?" I asked Angela, encouraging her to voice her opinion.

"I said, I told him it was a peds patient?" she said, sounding more like a hesitant question than a statement.

Dr. Connelly started to shake his head back and forth. But before he could argue against her claim, I nodded and said, "I know you did. I heard you."

Angela seemed to relax slightly, having me on her defense. I turned back to Dr. Connelly, who was eyeballing me with that '_I know better' _look. Apparently, I would have to put him in his place.

"So, you think it's medically safe to push Adenosine on this child?" I asked him, folding my arms in front of my chest. At this point, we had acquired a small audience from our covert stand-off. The patients and visitors were, of course, oblivious, due to our business-like tone of voice. But Mike was hovering over in Bay Two, listening a little too long on his patients chest, especially considering the end of his stethoscope wasn't fully in his ear in order to hear the lung sounds appropriately; he was obviously eavesdropping. Dr. Cullen was standing by the nurse's station "talking" to Rose over a patient's chart. However, I saw them both looking up at us through their lashes, small smiles pulling at the corners of their mouths. Alice was helping a patient into the restroom down the hall, waiting outside the door and looking in our direction. I met her eyes momentarily and she gave me the '_Behave-yourself' _look.

Dr. Connelly just looked at me blankly, not answering my question. So, I asked again.

"Do you think it is medically safe to give this patient Adenosine?"

"That is the prescribed drug for Rapid Tachycardia, Ms. Swan," he spat after several minutes of thinking.

I had to hand it to him, at least he knew what the drug was, which was a step up from the last time we had one of our arguments when he didn't know the proper administration of Norcuron: a paralytic. I'd had to explain it to him in heated detail.

"Yes," I answered with a smile on my face, causing him to visibly relax at my admission. He thought he had me.

_Oh no, you pathetic excuse for a doctor. Not this time. _

"It _is _the preferred drug, in a stable ADULT patient," I said sweetly, then turned to Angela. I used this as a 'teaching opportunity', although it was the doctor, not the nurse, of whom I was teaching. "Is there anything else you could consider doing before causing the patient's heart to stop?"

Angela thought for a minute, then glanced back at the patient. I could tell she knew the answer, and if she could be confident enough to believe in herself, she would be able to put Dr. Dipshit in his place herself.

"Ummm, vagal maneuvers?" she asked shyly.

"Correct," I said, smiling brightly at her. Then I turned to Dr. Connelly, who was glaring at me as if I had outted his porno stash to his elderly, conservative grandmother.

"ACLS guidelines states that we are to try _vagal maneuvers _before medicinal means, Dr. Connelly. Perhaps I need to see you in one of my refresher courses."

"There is no need for that, Ms. Swan," he replied brusquely, trying to save face in front of Angela.

"Well then, perhaps you can explain to me your logic behind your order?"

"He is obviously not old enough to follow directions to evoke vagal stimulation," the Dipshit sneered, gesturing towards Bay One to emphasize his point. I rolled my eyes and walked to the patient's bedside, Angela hot on my heels.

"Hi," I addressed the young boy. His mother was at his bedside. "My name is Bella. What's yours?"

"Nicolai," he answered shyly.

"What a beautiful name," I smiled at him. He blushed softly and smiled into the gurney.

"I am helping out Angela today, if that's alright with you?" He nodded shyly, not looking into my face.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm cold and bored," the boy answered, rolling his eyes slightly. His mother, Angela and I laughed.

"I know. Hospitals can be a little chilly and dull. I wonder if you would like to play a game with me to pass the time?" The boy nodded finally meeting my face, then looked apprehensively to his mother; she smiled in encouragement.

"I wonder if you could beat me at holding your breath. I warn you, though; I'm really good at it." The boy smiled and nodded his head. I heard Dr. Dipshit scoff behind me and I choked down a sneer.

"Okay, on the count of three," I smiled at the boy and turned quickly to Angela. "Watch his heart rate," I whispered softly. She nodded in understanding.

"One, two, three!" We both started holding our breath. I fought back the laughter I felt crawling up my neck at watching the endearing concentration on the boy's little face. His cheeks were puffed up and his eyebrows were pulled together in concentration. After a few seconds, the beeping on the monitor started to slow. The boy's face started turning a peculiar shade of red as he fought not to breathe. He chanced a glance and me, and I knew, based on his reaction, that my face was colored the same as his. Angela put a surreptitious thumbs-up, indicating that the boy's heart rate had slowed to a safe rhythm; and I let out the breath that I had been holding, erupting into a fit of giggles. They boy joined me, and soon we were both laughing at each other.

"Your face was so funny," Nicolai laughed, pointing at my reddened cheeks. Angela and his mother began laughing as well.

I told the patient and his mother that they would need to stay for a little bit longer, so that we could monitor his heart rate to make sure he didn't return to the rapid rhythm while waiting for his lab results. His mother thanked me and Angela as we stepped away from the bedside, leaving Dr. Dipshit behind.

"That was totally bitchin'" Angela murmured covertly, causing me to chuckle softly as she walked behind the nurse's station to chart.

I glanced at my watch, noticing it was time for Nikki's lunch. I was hoping I could catch a quick visit while things seemed to be under control with Angela.

"Hey Rose," I interrupted her mirth with Dr. Cullen. Apparently, they both enjoyed my theatrics at Dr. Connelly's expense. "Can you watch Angela for a minute? I'm gunna head upstairs." She nodded and winked at me, silently giving me her approval of my astute grounding of Dr. Dipshit.

_Nurses: unite in solidarity!_

I made my way towards the elevators, excited to see Nikki for the first time that week, when heard a depreciatory voice.

"Ms. Swan," the Dipshit sneered. I stopped and froze into place, internally cringing inside. I should have known better; I should have known that he wouldn't let me embarrass him like that and let it go unaddressed.

"Yes?" I smiled innocently, turning towards his direction. He quickly grabbed my arm, pulling me into a secluded corridor. I winced at his abrasiveness.

"The next time you disagree with one of my orders, I would appreciate it if you would address me in private," Dr. Connelly hissed.

"Excuse me?" I questioned heatedly, pulling my arm painfully from his grasp. There would most definitely be a bruise tomorrow.

"I am tired of your attitude," he snapped, pointing a finger in my face. "You need to learn what your place is."

I was seeing red. And I was frozen in place, the rage running through me like hot lava.

"_I_ am the doctor. _You_ are the nurse. It is your job to do what I say."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again; so many rebuttals on the tip of my tongue. But I knew if they were to come out, one of us would be on the unemployment line by tomorrow morning. Instead, I closed my mouth, took a deep cleansing breath, and smiled the biggest, fakest smile I could.

"Sure thing, _Doctor."_ I practically sneered the last. "Is there anything else you need?" He grinned a sickeningly, hoity smile as his eyes scanned the entire length of my body. It amazed me how much he thought of himself, that he was god's gift to women. Although he was good looking, his large ego overshadowed any attractiveness his face held. He was oblivious to the constant repulsion the nurses felt for his blatant flirting; it never stopped his leering.

He continued to appraise me, most liekly thinking of 'what else I could do for him'. My insides twisted and I threw up a little in my mouth, trying to fight down the nausea that his advancements caused.

Just then a heard a small cough from behind us.

"Dr. Connelly," Dr. Cullen interrupted his consideration. "Can I see you for a minute?" Dr. Dipshit took one more appraisal over my scrub-donned body and turned to join Dr. Cullen in the direction of the Doctor's lounge.

I let out a huge gush of air, feeling creeped out by his nasty assessment of my body.

_Gross._

I turned toward the elevators and hit the up button. The lifts seemed to take forever during the hospital's busy visiting hours. As I waited, my thoughts traveled to 'Green Eyes'. I wondered what he was doing, what he was wearing. I thought about the shape of his eyes and how beautiful the color was.

Over the past couple weeks, I'd had plenty of time to fantasize about the specifics of his life. I'd imagined that he was some type of rouge investigator or journalist, settling in Seattle for a large case or story. I imagined that we'd meet in some classy, jazz bar and hit if off right away. We'd head to his hotel and make hot, passionate love for hours, only for it to end with him professing his undying love for me.

_Sigh. _

Almost five minutes later, the elevator door opened, pulling me from yet another 'Green Eyes' daydream. I pushed my way in, making sure the fifth floor button was pushed for the Pediatric Ward. The ride was seemingly endless; of course we had to stop at every floor in between the first and the fifth. Luckily, I was able to make the ascension to the fifth from the fourth floor alone; all the other passengers had vacated to their destined levels.

The lift finally made it to the pediatric floor and the doors opened swiftly.

A sudden jolt of electricity hit me and I was trapped in my steps like a frightened deer. Standing, right outside the doors, was the object of my obsession.

My heart stopped.

My own form of cardioversion; but instead of coming back to a normal rhythm, my heart restarted into a rapid tachycardia.

He looked amazing; he had on dark denim jeans that fit him perfectly, a brown V-neck sweater that accentuated his brown-bronze highlighted hair, and a cologne that could stimulate any woman into spontaneous orgasms

It was like one of those movies; the ones where everything moved in slow motion while some cheesy 80's song played in the background to amplify the moment.

My 'Green Eyes' was standing outside the elevator doors, staring at me with those fuckhot emerald orbs.

_Oh. My…_

I was caught up in a whirlwind of fantasies in an instant. I wanted to touch him, feel the way his body formed under mine. His wild array of sex-hair begged to be ravaged by my hands. The sweater fit snugly on his body, outlining his shapely chest. I wanted to rip it off and explore every valley and curve.

I was so transfixed by him and the fact that he was standing right in front of me, that I didn't notice the large, heavy elevator door closing on my frozen body. When the door was a gnat's ass away from slamming into my motionless form, he jutted out his hand to stop it. The loud clang of the impact jarred me out of my trance, and I began to comprehend how crazy I must have looked, staring at him like a buffoon.

"Hi," his heavenly voice crooned, one eyebrow curved and a crooked smile on his face. He looked amazing. I'm sure he was trying to judge my sanity, but his expression sent a current running through my body that pooled in between my legs.

"Uh, huh," was my _brilliant _response. He chuckled softly as he pushed his way past me into the elevator, still keeping his large hand braced against the door, so that it didn't close in on me once again.

"You going down?" he asked, the sexy smirk still on his face.

"Ummm." I thought about it really hard. On one hand, I was probably so mentally stunted at this point that it would be a miracle to even begin to sound halfway human in his presence. On the other, a solid five minutes stuck in an elevator with my perpetual wet dream, would be heaven. _What's a girl to do_…

"Bella," a voice called from down the corridor. Reluctantly, I turned from my gorgeous Adonis and stuck my head out of the elevator to see who was calling me. 'Green Eyes' kindly placed his hand on the door, so that it wouldn't start to close and hit my oblivious-ass in the face. I was astutely aware of his hand's approximation to my body and I began to slightly hyperventilate. I took in a deep breath, trying to calm the reaction of my crazed, overdriven hormones. It only made it worse as I inhaled a whiff of his intoxicating aroma.

I tried to focus on the person calling me, but I was having a hard time noticing anything but the gorgeous man beside me.

"Bella?" It was Jessica, the charge nurse for the pediatric center. I finally made eye contact with her, only giving her enough concentration to respond briefly to whatever she needed.

"Hey, I was wondering if you were going to make it. Nikki's been asking for you. She's had a rough week." My heart fell; my sweet angel was not having a good week and I'd been unable to see her. I nodded vaguely, knowing that I would leave my fantasy man behind me.

I turned to him slightly, not making eye contact in fear I would turn into a drooling, panting puppy if I did. "Thanks," I mumbled sweetly as I stepped off of the lift.

"No problem, Bella," he answered. I melted by the sound of my name coming from his soft, full lips. His voice was like erotic, velvet sex and I was suddenly thrown into another fantasy involving satin sheets.

I stared at him as the elevator doors closed, his smirk still on his perfect face.

"He's sexy as hell," Jessica grunted beside me. I snapped my head towards her, a grimace on my face. Suddenly, I felt very possessive and had distinct an urge to rip her head off her shoulders.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Jessica grumbled, swiping a hand at me to dismiss my reaction. "I'm not going to go in for the kill, Viper. Settle down."

"What?" I asked, trying to play coy.

"Jeez, Bella. If I wasn't standing here, I'm sure you would have fucked him right there in the doorway." I turned red and gaped at her in astonished embarrassment. _Could I be more obvious?_

Jessica laughed at my reaction and apparent humiliation, clamping her small hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, Tiger," she laughed. "If its any consolation, I think he'd fuck you too. You both were locked in a heated mating dance that could cause virgins to procreate spontaneously." I looked at her incredulous.

_What is that supposed to mean?_


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I know…so sorry for this. **

**I am looking for a couple betas for this story before I continue it. If you are interested, please PM me. (Please _DONT _this chapter, for it will be replaced.) I already have the next couple chapters written, but need some good eyes. Thanks, **

**E. Bowden**

**WOW!!! That was awesome. This was only up for like five minutes and I got two awesome betas!!!**

**So the story will start up again after the holidays. See you all then :D**

**~EB**


	6. Chapter 5 Imaginary Girlfriend

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

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Chapter Five - Imaginary Girlfriend

EPOV

"Hey douche bag," Emmett's annoying voice called to me as I shoved my turnouts into my locker. I was exhausted, having been up since three o'clock in the morning on an apartment fire. "We're heading to Mimi's for some chow, you in?"

I shook my head groggily, grimacing at the thought of eating when my stomach was already overloaded with adrenaline and exhaustion: not a happy combination.

"Your loss, homer," Emmett yelled while whipping my bare back with his nasty gym towel.

_Asshole. _

The locker room was vacated at the moment, save for one. Me.

I took the opportunity of solitude to reflect on my dismal state of duress, mostly circulating around a certain goddess with the voice of an angel.

My Singer.

God, her voice called to me in the night; that moment when I was lying still in my bed, rethinking and analyzing the events of the day. That was when I would hear her. That was when she would visit me. And her voice would soothe and calm me into a blissful slumber.

I hadn't slept much lately, because I'd been working three days in a row with an overtime day in the middle. Seventy-two hours straight in the firehouse was hard on my body and mind, and my sleeping schedule was suffering for it. I hadn't dreamt about her in all that time. By the time I'd hit a R.E.M. cycle, the tones would go off, signaling yet another call I'd have to go on. Although my exhaustion was at its peak, the one thing I missed more than sleep was the sound of her voice lulling me to sleep during the night. I couldn't seem to get enough of it. And I was yearning for my next fix.

My head slammed against my locker as I close my eyes in exhaustion. My muscles were sore and my thoughts whirling with the amount of crap I needed to get done, things I couldn't because I'd been working for the last three days. I was at the point where I was so exhausted, I didn't think I could sleep because my body was so used to being forced to stay awake. Damn, it had been a long three days 'in house'.

I tried to begin the process of shutting my body down, knowing that I needed at least a couple hours of rest before I began another long day or running errands. Her image immediately assaulted my mind, playing my memories of her soulful voice and hypnotic eyes. It was heaven, right in the middle of hell.

The locker room doors screeched open and I knew at that moment that my momentary minute of bliss was soon to be interrupted by my very large, very annoying friend, begging me once again to join him and Jasper for breakfast. I was about to turn to him and give him a piece of my mind, when the person standing in front of me completely drew me up short.

My singer, my siren

She was here, standing before me in a tight black dress with 'come fuck me heels' and red painted lips that the cherubs would be jealous of.

_What the…?_

"What are you…" I began to ask, but she silenced me by bringing one of her delicate, slender fingers to her plump lips. Her mouth formed a little round 'o' as the side of her finger pressed softly against the smooth pink skin, drawing all my attention to her hot little pout.

_Oh shit._

"I was hoping I'd find you," her melodic voice crooned. "I've been looking for you."

"Looking for… me?" I questioned in surprised, my eyebrows lifting into my hairline. I was sure I looked a mess, on top of being completely flabbergasted by her statement. She chuckled softly and nodded, looking up at me through her eyelashes as she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Why…" I began, but was immediately distracted as I watched her slowly approach me. Her spiked, black heels slowly clicked against the concrete floor of the locker room as she sashayed towards me. I took the opportunity to slowly appraise the perfection of her body. Her legs were smooth, slender but curved. Her skin looked as soft as a silken pillow, and my mouth watered as I guessed at how it would taste. Her small, shapely body was sheathed in a small, black dress that looked like it was wrapped around her, held together by a tiny bow at her right hip. I imagined how it would spill off of her, with just one small tug at the end of the tie. I wondered what I'd find underneath. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders, in a river of honey and mocha. Her face was perfect, glowing, with just a hint of makeup. Her lips were like the softest of rose petals, shapely and plump, just right for sucking. But the thing that held my attention above all else, were the pools of chocolate that were her eyes, framed by dark, thick lashes.

"I need you to do something for me," she said softly, coming closer to me as she spoke.

"S-s-sure," I stammered like an idiot, completely enamored by her.

She was standing in front of me now, her perfect white teeth gnawing into her lip as she looked towards the ground. At first, I thought she was shy about whatever it was that she needed. I thought that was absurd.

_How could she be nervous? How could she not know that I'd do anything for her, be anything that she wanted? _

But a second later, I realized that she was not looking down at the floor in embarrassment. No. She was looking _at _me, checking me out, just as I had done to her. She had started at my feet, and leisurely gazed upon every inch of me. My body started to heat at the thought, and I became acutely aware that I didn't have a shirt on, for I'd just finished yet another shower from our most recent call. Just as I recognized that fact, her eyes locked onto my naked abs and chest, lingering there. A small smile tugged at her lips, and part of me was thankful that she seemed to like what she saw. But I couldn't see her eyes, and the more dominant part of me was displeased by that fact. Slowly, torturously slowly, did her gaze finally meet mine.

"I need you…" she trailed off as she stared into my eyes, holding my very life force locked in her trance. I felt her small palms lay flat against my chest. The heat coming off of her penetrated into my very core, warming me from the inside out.

"Need me?" I was able to grunt, my voice low and grumbled from the overpowering gush of lust I felt breathing off of her like a heat wave. Her hands began to trail slowly down my chest, across my abs, and down to my waist. The sheer movement of her skin on mine sent my libido into overdrive, and I found myself hard and wanton. She was incredible.

"I need you to," she all but whispered; I had to lean down to hear what she had to say. Our faces were closer than they had been before, so much so that I could smell her sweet breath, feel it wafting on my cheek. My eyes closed of their own accord as I took her very essence into me as I breathed.

"I need you to," she began again, her mouth so close to mine, I could feel a hint of her soft lips upon mine. That small touch sent shockwaves through me, promising electrocution if I'd ever fully touch her.

_What a way to go. _

"Yes?" I asked softly, the motion of which ghosted my lips upon hers. She gasped softly at the contact, and I knew she had felt the same electricity I had.

"Please," she all but begged me, her voice sweet and sexy. "You need to wake up."

"What?" I asked, distracted by the feel of her that I didn't fully understand what she had said.

"Wake up," she said again, this time deeper, more forceful. My eyes shot open, and her image disappeared.

"Wake up!" Captain Banner yelled, effectively startling me out of my dream. The ominous alarm of the firehouse sounded in the background. "Let's get moving!""Come on Cullen," Emmett called from the doorway leading to the staging area where we prepared for a call. "Get your ass in gear!"I pulled myself from the comfort of my small bed in the dormitory, still feeling the effects of my dream. A dream. The same one that had been plaguing me for the past two weeks.

My siren.

She came to haunt me every night, taunting me with her perfect face, her slick melodic voice, and a body that sent my heart into near cardiac arrest. Of course, the body part was all part of my overly vivid imagination. Her figure was small, that much I could tell from her outfit she'd worn that day she sang my soul into entrapment. But the finer details of her curves, the way her hips were shaped, framing that small 'V' that held the core of her…

"Cullen!" Emmett's bellow pulled me from yet another daydream of my ethereal seductress. I had to get control of myself. I hated that she seemed to have so much control over my every waking minute. Part of me hoped to find her again, so that I could satisfy at least part of the draw I felt for her. The other part fought for my sanity, claiming that if I ever did find her again, she'd all but consume me whole. It was bad enough that one little night of her seductive voice and three songs later, I'd seemed entranced. My infatuation with her was lacking subtlety and dripping with obsession.

I wasn't sure what I'd do when, or if, I ever did see her again. I'd like to think that some part of my ultra ego, the part that believed himself to be a ladies man, would show up and woo her into my bed sucessfully. However, the likelihood of my being anything else short of a complete dunce in front of her was slim to none. I couldn't even get through five minutes in a row without her saintly image crashing into my sights, overheating my brain cells so much so that I couldn't form a coherent sentence if my life depended on it. _Pathetic._

"_Station Nine, report to medical aide call. Two victims down, possible DOA's. Gun fire involved. Proceed with caution." _

"What the hell..." Emmett grumbled. "It's four-o-fucking-clock in the morning! What dumb assess are up right now shooting each other?"

"Relax Em," Jasper's smooth voice drawled. No matter what time it was, or what the situation entailed, Jasper always seemed to be cool and calm as a cat. I didn't get it. It was four-o-fucking clock in the morning. I was on Emmett's side. _WTF?_

"Get it together Ladies," Captain Banner teased as he climbed into the passenger side of the fully loaded engine. "Whitlock, lock'em up and let's get 'er done.""Aye, aye, Cappy," Jasper retorted with a snort and small hand gesture.

Not a minute later, we were pulling out of the station, sirens and lights blazing towards our destination. I grabbed my headset and shoved it on my head. We used them to communicate to each other, over the loud roar of the engine and sirens. Emmett began bantering inappropriately, as usual, asking who could name the best fuck they'd had and where. During the daylight hours, I might have joined in, but not at four-o-fucking-clock in the morning. Jasper was on his own, for the Captain never participated; he was more like a cool fatherly figure, laughing when appropriate, but never really condoning our illicit behavior.

I leaned into my seat and shut my eyes, hoping I'd get to nod off for awhile, for the call was about fifteen minutes away. Usually, during situations where gunfire was involved, we would have to wait for the police to come secure the scene before we could approach. I was hoping that we'd beat them there, just so I'd get a few more minutes of peace before the storm.

I wasn't that fortunate.

"They're here," Captain Banner barked. "Looks like were heading right in. Whitlock?"

"Sure thing, Cappy," Jasper answered as he pulled up to two SPD squad cars and an unmarked department vehicle. For a short second, I wondered how the SPD beat us here. Usually, we were the first on scene, even before the ambulance crews. But when I realized that an 'unmarked' was there, I immediately got my back up.

_That fucker better not be here. __I am in no mood for his bullshit._

We jumped out of the engine, our medical aide jackets and kits in hand. We were all trained as paramedics, and we usually beat the ambulance crews to the scene. The initial triage was usually done by us, so that if any immediate medical attention was needed, we could provide it. We would try to stabilize a patient as much as we could with the limited supplies we had, until the ambulance could get there to take them in.

As I followed Jasper and Emmett out of the engine, I quickly took in the scene before me. There were two victims on the floor, both lying face down on the street. There was a bag of some sort lying between them, and several dollar bills scattered across the ground. That was when I noticed we were standing in front of a small jewelry store, the front window had a large hole in it and the alarm was blazing from inside. It seemed these two yahoos were jewel thieves, and had been caught in the act of a crime.

_Idiots._

It was a running joke between Emmett, Jasper and me. One night after several brews, we were convinced we could pull off a full on bank robbery, like in the movie 'Heat'. Because of our job, we worked closely with the SPD. We knew when the police were mostly distracted or when their numbers were the lowest. We laughed at all the movies involving robberies, those scenarios were completely unrealistic. They didn't have anything on our little devised genius that was so lovingly dubbed 'The Gangsters Three'. In our drunken stupor, we had even given each other nicknames, code names if you will. I was 'Bronzekey', for reasons I didn't remember later. Jasper was 'Checkers' and Emmett was 'Flip-Flop'. We weren't serious, of course, but our planning and devising had filled the night, entertaining us through a thirty box of beer and a large pizza between the three of us. I chuckled at the memory.

"What the fuck," a curt voice broke me out of my thoughts. I cringed and turned slowly, for I knew that person behind me would aggravate me to no end.

Jacob Black, detective extraordinaire for the city's finest. I couldn't remember what had started the animosity between the two of us, but something about him set my teeth on edge. He was an insufferable asshole who thought he was the shit. I couldn't stand his arrogance and ego.

"What the fuck is the SFD doing here?"

"We always answer medical aides, Black," I spat back, bracing myself against the distaste that man had always given me.

"We don't need you," he retorted sharply, rolling his eyes and shooing me with his hand, dismissively.

_Fuck, I hate him._

"Well, luckily for me, that's not your call," I answered, brushing past him to help aide Jasper and Emmett, who were already assessing the victims on the street.

"The fuck it's not," he grunted, pulling on the back of my medical aide jacket to stop me. My body tensed and I could feel my fists clench. My blood was boiling; I was on the verge of pummeling his arrogant face.

_That fucker did not just touch me…_

"I'm head detective on this case," the fuckwad continued, oblivious to the fact that I was a raging inferno, ready to go off. "If I say we don't need the fucking SFD, then we don't need the fucking SFD! So, get the fuck out of here!"

I saw red.

"You little…" I growled as my body involuntarily lunged at him, but I was quickly halted by Jasper's grasp as Emmett's massive form stepped between us.

"Get your ass back, Black," Emmett warned, holding both of his hand up, palms forward. Jacob took several steps back, grumbling all the while. Emmett was a large mother fucker, like one of those wrestlers on television. No one ever messed with him, no one wise anyway. And even Black wasn't that fucking stupid.

"What's going on?" Captain Banner yelled as he approached the tense scene. Emmett stepped to my side quickly, attempting to mask the fact that he had just stopped me from ripping Jacob's head off.

"Detective Black seems to think that the SPD doesn't need our help," Jasper answered, his voice steady and calm. "I think his word were 'we don't need the fucking SFD', right?" He turned towards me for confirmation. I could only manage a small nod of consent; if I had opened my mouth, I wouldn't have be able to control the deluge of insults that were sure to pour out, for they were barely being contained behind my tight-lipped grimace as it was.

"Is that a fact?" Captain Banner asked, looking at Detective Black disapprovingly.

"That's a fact," Jasper said, a small smile curving the corner of his mouth as he shook his head in confirmation.

"Well," Captain Banner sighed, calmly. "I guess we know when we're not wanted. Let's load 'em up boys." Emmett guffawed at Jacob's pale face as he watched us loading up our equipment. We knew that he was just being an ass, because that's what he was…an ass. He never really thought we'd leave, he just liked to give us shit, always playing the fuckwad that thought he was better than anyone else.

_Well fucker, you wanna act like a twat, than you can get served like a twat. See ya, fuck face! _

"Hey," a uniformed officer called just as Jasper roared the engine to life. "Where are you guys going? We got victims down here. They're dead, shots kissed them right in the skull, but we need you to confirm before you take off." Emmett jumped out of the engine, his bag of equipment already in his hand. We weren't really going to leave, just wanted them to think we were, for Black's sake. Besides, Emmett and Jasper had already looked them over while I dealt with Jacob's shitty attitude. Even I could've deduced they were dead from where I had stood, what with the brain matter all over the floor.

"Well," Captain Banner began as he made sure Emmett was beginning to confirm their deaths, officially. "It seems Detective Black is trained in that manner, 'cause he said that we aren't needed here. I'm sure that what he claimed was correct, seeing as he is the lead detective and all."

"What?" the officer gasped, shooting daggers over at Jacob's still paled face. I laughed at his expression. His face quickly became hardened as he realized his attitude landed him in a heap of shit he probably didn't want.

_Fuckwad._

"Sam," the officer yelled, and a large, heavily built man approached us. He seemed to be a detective as well, for he was in the typical suit jacket and jeans that the other detectives usually wore. But I'd never met him before, or at least that I could recall.

"Sup," Sam asked as he approached.

"Seems that Black has told SFD to get lost, that we don't need them," the officer answered, chuckling slightly. "Told them he was in charge." Sam laughed at that, shaking his head in a frustrated amusement.

"Fucking Black," he grumbled, shooting Jacob an indulgent smile. Jacob visibly relaxed, then shrugged his shoulders in nonchalance as he walked back to the scene of the crime.

_Fucking cocksucker._

"He's harmless, really," Sam placated, directing his gaze back at us. The expression on his face was like that of a doting grandfather, and I knew then that Jacob would get away with his bullshit yet again.

_Fucking shit stick, ass licker. _

"I don't see anything harmless about it," Captain Banner argued, his back straight and his expression flat. "If he doesn't want us here, then we won't waste our time and tax payers' money by coming to these calls. SPD will be on their own if we aren't treated with respect."

I looked at Captain Banner with surprised awe and a sense of pride. Never, in all the years that I'd worked with Jeff Banner, had I EVER heard him stand up for any of us. Not one time had he put someone else in their place when they so needed it. And I was shocked to hear him do it now. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett and Jasper pause from collecting their gear to stare at Captain Banner. I know their expression mirrored mine.

Sam stood there for several moments, looking at the seriousness in Captain Banner's face. Something in his expression must have made Sam feel that he was all too serious, for he nodded and began to apologize.

"I'm sorry for Detective Black's behavior," Sam began. "And I assure you, it won't happen again."

"And how can you assure me that?" Captain Banner asked quickly, skepticism strong in his voice.

"I'm sorry, we haven't been properly introduced," Sam said shaking his head as he held his hand out in a formal handshake. "I'm Sam Ulley. I just transferred over from Division Eight to this unit. I'm the new Captain in Homicide." Captain Banner shook his hand stiffly, his face not shifting from its emotionless affect.

"I'm also Jacob's boss," Sam continued. "So I can assure you that his behavior will not happen again."

"I see," Captain Banner nodded. "I hope it doesn't. I'd hate to see our relationship with the Homicide team tainted by childish games and stupidity." Sam nodded, a small smile on his lips.

"I as well," he answered. "Well, I'll leave you to it." He turned from us then, and made his way over to Detective Black. We watched as he clasped hands with Jacob, then leaned to whisper something in his ear. Moments later, Jacob let out a large, resounding guffaw.

"Sam must have said something funny," Jasper commented as him and Emmett rejoined us.

"Mmmm," Captain Banner acknowledged, his eyes tightening slightly as he watched the exchange. "Did you check the victims?"

"Yeah," Emmett answered. "Fuckers are dead. Let's get outta hear."

We loaded up the engine and rolled down the street five minutes later. As we left, I reluctantly looked over at Jacob. He smiled at me with a shit-eating grin on his face, and I wanted to punch him in the nads for it.

_I can't fucking stand Jacob Black!_

* * *

"You wanna grab some breakfast?" Emmett asked me as we both rolled out of bed. It was seven-thirty in the morning and our shift ended at eight. We were expecting our relief to roll in, so we needed to get the coffee made before we left.

"No," I grumbled, half asleep from my lack of rest over the last two weeks. "Just wanna head home, go back to sleep for a while."

"K," Emmett mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching loudly. "Think me and Jazz are gunna head to Mimi's, if you change your mind."

_Mimi's?_

"Ummm, maybe," I mumbled as flashes of my previous dream came flooding back into my mind. Short, black dress, long flowing legs, round red lips….

"Dude!" Emmett cried, bumping my shoulder as I poured steaming hot water all over the kitchen counter. I must have been so distracted by my thoughts, yet again, that I'd completely missed the industrial sized coffee maker.

_Damn_.

"S-s-sorry," I muttered quickly, grabbing a towel to mop up my mess.

"What's wrong with you lately?" Emmett asked as he grabbed another towel, bending down to clean the floor.

"Nothing," I lied. "Just tired. It's been a long week." Emmett sighed, nodding in agreement.

"Remind me why we decided to work two overtime shifts this week?" he grumbled.

"'Cause Seth and Ben went to Vegas, and they needed us to cover their shifts, fuck face. It was your idea."

"Oh yeah," Emmett smiled, a distant look of euphoria slapped on his face. "Vegas… Remember last time?"

"How could I forget?" I chuckled, remembering how much trouble we'd gotten into. My father would never let us live that trip down. I watched as Emmett's face contorted into a painful grimace at the memory my comment had inspired. We let the conversation go after that.

I left the station twenty minutes later, a large cup of coffee in my hand. There were so many things I needed to do, but my body was so exhausted from the long week that I didn't know if I could survive another fourteen hours functioning if I didn't get at least a couple hours of sleep.

With that knowledge, I crawled into my house, dragged myself up the stairs and threw my body onto my bed. I had enough coherency to set the alarm on my phone for ten am. My body immediately relaxed, allowing my overworked muscles to finally get the rest they needed.

A small sound across the side of my room startled me. _Click, click, click. _If there was an axe murder in my room, he'd have found the easiest victim imaginable; there was no possible way I would've been able to fight anyone off in my current condition, but at least it would've been nice to see what was coming. I pried my eyes open to only slits in order to see what was causing the unfamiliar noise.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up," my vixen of voice smiled sweetly.

_Oh no…_

"You're just a figment," I mumbled incoherently. I was seeing things, I knew it.

"A figment?" she giggled, the sound going straight to my junk. At least _he _was ready and raring to go.

"Uh, huh," I slurred. "Sent here to ruin me. Imaginary girlfriend…"

"Oh baby," she crooned, her voice smooth as silken honey. "There's nothing imaginary about me." I heard the mysterious sound again, and realized it was the sound of her stilettos clicking across my bedroom floor, bringing her slowly closer to me. My eyes opened just a smidge more, so I could fully take in her attire. Her heels were red this time, but just as high, just as sharp as before. She wore a small pair of dark denim shorts, so tiny it made her legs look like they ran for miles. The smallest sliver of her midriff was showing below a red, wide-necked blouse that left the tops of her shoulders bare. Her hair was piled on top of her head, with small tendrils cascading down the front. She was gorgeous. And she was tormenting me, yet again.

She stopped when her knees hit the side of my bed, and if I wasn't sure she was a figment of my imagination, I would have been sure she was real, for the action caused my bed to jolt slightly.

"You look tired, love," she said, placing one delicate knee on my bed. She began to crawl over to me, on all fours. Her back was arched as she approached me, sticking her round little ass high in the air. I groaned into the comforter at the sight.

_Why?_

"Do you want me to massage you?" she asked, trailing one painted fingertip down the crease in my back. Somehow, the shirt that I'd been wearing earlier was mysteriously gone, leaving my back vulnerable to her ministrations.

"S-s-sure," I stuttered. I knew this wasn't really happening, but I figured, when in Rome…right?

"You're so tense, baby," she groaned as her fingers worked my aching muscles into mush. It felt amazing, and at that realization, I decided to set myself up an appointment with a shrink. My vivid imagination had to be the beginning signs of some sort of break with my psyche; dementia, schizophrenia maybe?

"Mmmm," I hummed in blessed satisfaction. She giggled softly in response.

"Turn over," she commanded. "I need to do the front." Desperately, I fought my sore, tired body so I could comply with her demands. With tremendous effort, I placed myself on my back. I noticed then that she was kneeling next to me, sitting back on her haunches with her hands on her lap. The position made her look innocent, her posture submissive. My brain automatically filed it away, most likely to pulled out for future fantastical avenues of imaginary fornication.

_Damn._

"Comfortable?" she asked, a wry smile on her lips. Almost as if she could tell what I'd been thinking. "Of course I can tell what you're thinking, love. I'm all in your head, remember?" I blinked in surprise, then watched her as her smile widened.

"I will do anything you want of me," she hummed in a loud whisper. "Be anything you want, do what you want me to." I decided to test that theory, and not a moment later, one of her long, silken legs was winding itself around my body so that she was straddling me, just as I had wanted. The juncture of her legs sat directly on my hardened length, and I could feel the warmth of her core pierce through me.

She raised on eyebrow in question, smiling crookedly as I stared at her.

"Like this?" she asked. I nodded in short, staccato beats of my head. "Mmmm," she moaned, letting her clothed hips rock infinitesimally. The sensation it caused sent a jolt through my body, beginning at my cock, trickling up my stomach and into my heart. My whole body began to quiver slightly in anticipation.

Her face changed then, turning from a wanton expression to a small, dissatisfied pout. I wondered if I'd done something wrong to upset the delicate creature, and I immediately began to feel an overwhelming need to comfort her.

"It's time," she sighed, her posture becoming heavy with dejection.

"Time?" I asked, curious. She glanced over her shoulder to the side of my bed. I followed her gaze, and saw my phone on the bedside table, alarming.

My eyes popped open and my Siren was gone. The phone was blaring, alerting me that it was ten in the morning. I groaned loudly, in exhaustion and frustration.

"Fuck!" I screamed, the sound reverberating around my barren room. I needed to get my shit together. These crazy dreams I was having were becoming more and more realistic. If I didn't get a handle on myself soon, I'd start seeing her during my waking hours as well.

What the hell was wrong with me? I had become this obsessed, lust-crazed fool for a woman I'd seen for all of five minutes. I couldn't understand the meaning of it all. Sure, it was mildly entertaining in the beginning, thinking that I could use her image as some sort of imaginary girlfriend to distract me from the everyday bullshit in my life, but after two weeks of not seeing the girl, one would think her image would start to fade from my head. Not one bit.

I pulled myself off my bed and walked, heavy-footed, into my bathroom. I got the water as hot as I could stand it, and stood under the spray for quite awhile. The hot water relaxed my sore muscles, but it did little for my overactive brain.

Frustrated, I slammed off the water after twenty minutes, got dressed quickly, and headed out to begin my day of utter bullshit.

It was tradition every year for the Cullen Family to host a charity event, sponsoring The American Heart Association. It was the one I participated in, much to my grandfather's disapproval. It was a black tie event, and therefore, meant for the upper class so they could pull out their golden checkbook, giving millions of dollars to the Cullen's in the name of good cardiac treatment and prevention. Since I was a blue collar worker, and not of the esteemed, it behooved the Cullen name for someone so mundane as me to be behind the construction of it all. My father, on the other hand, was extremely grateful I seemed to take the event seriously, for it was for a cause that was close to his heart.

It wasn't like I was poor, by any means. I had my trust fund, thanks to good ol' gramps. I just refused to build on that wealth doing a bullshit job I had no passion for. I loved what I did, and my grandfather could go take his self-righteous ass flying off the Needle, for all I cared.

I was meeting with my mother, Esme, and the Cullen's event planner, Victoria, to look over the plan for this year's event. The date had been set for a while, but the final touches still needed to be addressed.

I pulled up to my mother's studio. It was a lavishly decorated warehouse filled to the brim with my mother's art. She was an amazing artist, specializing in bohemian styled canvas and sculpture work. She was brilliant. Her biggest success, however, was winning over my grandfather's approval. When Carlisle had announced to the Cullen Clan, that he would be turning away from a high profiled medical career in the great city of Seattle to follow his college girlfriend, Esme Platt, back to her small hometown of Forks, Washington, my grandfather had blown a gasket. He'd tried everything to get my father to reconsider, but to no avail. He was in love with Esme and would've done anything to be with her, including giving up his reputation at the best up-and-coming Cardiothoracic surgeon on the West Coast.

Carlisle never regretted his decision. His love affair with my mother was one for the ages. They shared a whirlwind romance that would have rivaled Romeo & Juliet, with a happy ending to boot. Eventually, my grandfather approved of their union. My father likes to believe he just saw how happy Esme made him, and that's why my grandfather was accepting. I, on the other hand, believed it be the fact that Esme's artwork had begun to take notice, earning her some recognition among the high class art world. Her career brought more esteem to the Cullen family, thereby earning her rightful place among the snooty elite. However, my mother was anything but snobbish.

"Sweetheart," Esme called when she saw me lumbering through the doorway, a large, warm smile on her face. Her expression changed once she took in my appearance. "Oh honey, you look awfully tired. Busy night?" I nodded and grumbled some sort of answer.

"You should have called me," she chastised. "We could have rescheduled."

"I'd rather get this done," I grumbled, my voice scratchy from sleep. "We need to get this done."

"Edward," someone called from behind me, and I turned slowly to see who it was. A tall, gorgeous, red-headed woman was walking towards us, clipboard in one hand, tall cup of Starbucks in the other. "I'm glad you're here," Victoria said, handing me the large cup of coffee. I took it quickly, mumbling my undying thanks to my bringer of caffeine. Victoria had worked for the Cullen family for a long time. At one point, my mother tried to encourage us to date. I took her out once, and we had fun. But we quickly realized that our connection was more friendly than anything else.

"We have a ton of things to go over," she sighed, looking over the papers attached to clipboard. I nodded in agreement.

For the next several hours, my mother, Victoria and I hammered out the remaining details of the benefit. The largest item was the catering service. The one the Cullen's usually used was unavailable for the event. So, we'd decided to go with a smaller business. Although they were not as experienced as the company we usually used, Victoria assured me that they came highly recommended.

"I think that's it," Victoria had said as she looked through her papers once again, making sure everything on her item list was addressed. I felt my mother's hand on my knee moments after Victoria had excused herself to make a call regarding scheduling. I looked up to her to see a concerned look on her face.

"What?" I asked, impatience in my voice. My mother seemed to have the ability to look through any bullshit of mine, to decipher what was ailing me. I hoped, for her sake and mine, her key senses were on vacation. If she only knew what was really bothering me…

"You look stressed, Edward." I scoffed at that. "Is something bothering you."

"You have no idea," I mumbled. "It's nothing I can't handle, Mom."

"You're not sleeping enough," she said, causing me to laugh uncontrollably. If my mother knew one of the reasons I was not having restful sleep was because my imaginary girlfriend was keeping me up with late night rendezvous of a sexual nature, she might just lock me up in the loony bin.

"I'm fine, Mom," I placated. "You worry too much." She hummed in agreement.

"Have you spoken to your grandfather yet?" I outwardly cringed at her reminder. I was supposed to call my grandfather, Caius, and let him know about the finalization of the AHA benefit. I hated talking to him. Anytime I had to, our conversation was awkward and stunted, to say the least. He never tried to hide his disdain and disappointment in my chosen career, and I never let his intimidation tactics get to me, something he would get extremely peeved about.

"No," I answered, pulling out of my reverie. "I haven't called him yet." My mother patted her warm, small hand on my cheek in comfort. I turned to look at her and could see the sympathy she had for me in her eyes. She once had to deal with the Cullen snobbery and hatred of all that didn't fit into their tiny, comfortable box. Their ideals of what made a 'Cullen' were so structured, that if any little thing fell out of place, it was deemed 'unworthy'. I was always seen as the 'black sheep' for my choices. It didn't bother me as much as it did my parents. They both knew how much I had been through in my life, something the other Cullen's completely ignored…as if it never happened…as if they never existed. But I was proof of what had happened. There was no changing that.

"I better go, Mom," I said after a few minutes of inner reflection as my mother watched me, concerned.

"Have you talked to Tanya?" she asked softly. She hated bringing that up, but I knew she was only looking out for my well being.

"She won't return any of my phone calls," I half whispered, feeling ashamed once again.

"If you want me to handle her, I would be more than happy to-"

"No," I interrupted. "She is my responsibility, and I will take care of it." My mother nodded in agreement, sadness rimming her eyes.

I left the art studio ten minutes later, after having to conciliate my mother's pleading words to come have lunch with her. I explained that I had plans to meet with Carlisle at the hospital for lunch, and she finally relented. I invited her to join us, but she said that she was meeting with a client in an hour; knowing my father's erratic schedule at the hospital, she didn't want to be stuck waiting for him.

And erratic it was. On the way to Harborview, I got a text from my father explaining that he was going to be a little late for lunch. I sighed, pulling into the Emergency Department parking lot.

I sat there for several minutes, thinking about how I could fill the time, without having to resort to my imaginary girlfriend, again. But my thoughts traveled to the first time I'd seen her, wrapped around the body of a bruised and injured child, offering comfort.

I had come to see the little girl once since the accident, upon Emmett's heated insistence. At first, I was reluctant. I didn't think I'd be able to look her in the face, knowing that it were my poor decisions that caused her family to perish. But with Emmett's encouragement in the form of physical restraint and verbal abuse, I managed to enter her little room in the Peds ward, offering her a large stuffed teddy bear and condolences.

She was the sweetest little girl I'd ever met, and her outlook on her tragedy was inspiring. She was truly special, all smiles and warm wishes, despite her heavily painful injuries and losses. We had spent the entire afternoon together, laughing at Emmett's silly faces and sharing lunch over two episodes of SpongeBob.

She had made us both promise to come back, but me in particular, because she said that she liked the way I laughed.

_No time like the present, _I thought.

I got out of my car, fully intending to visit Nikki. I made my way onto the slow, decrepit elevator, up to the fifth floor. The pediatric ward seemed fairly slow for a Wednesday afternoon, so I figured my visiting wouldn't be that much of an inconvenience. After identifying who I was at the nurse's station, I was cleared to enter through the large wooden doors into the Peds Ward. When I approached her room, I knocked softly on her door and waited for permission to enter.

"Come in," I heard someone say, and I swung the door open cautiously.

The sight before me caused my heart to lurch. The little girl I'd come to cherish was lying on her bed, reddened cheeks and tears in her eyes. She seemed like she was in a large amount of pain or discomfort. But when she saw me, she managed a small smile in surprise.

"Edward," she croaked, her little face grimacing at the effort. I made my way to her bedside quickly, grabbing her hand for comfort.

"She's got an infection," a man's voice spoke behind me. I turned to see a thin, balding man sitting in a chair against the wall. He introduced himself as Peter, Nikki's uncle.

"It seems her body is having a hard time fighting it off," he explained.

"How did she get it?" I wondered, my voice husky with emotion.

"Apparently, it's common with longer hospital stays," he sighed.

"Nosocomial," I whispered, and Peter nodded.

I stayed with Nikki for a while, watching her little face as she tried to sleep. Her skin was flushed with fever, and she would occasionally whimper with discomfort. It broke my heart watching her suffer like that, and I felt completely powerless to help her.

After awhile, the nurse came in to check Nikki's vital signs. I said my goodbye's to Peter, stating that I'd come visit her again soon. I made my way to the elevators, feeling a sense of helplessness as I thought of Nikki's pain. She'd been through so much, more than I think even I could bear. And just when I thought she'd be on the road to healing, something else had happened to cause her pain. I'd decided that I would talk to my father about her illness over lunch. Maybe he could offer some type of support in her case.

The elevator seemed to be taking forever, but luckily, I was the only one waiting on its ascent. As I stood waiting, I thought of my imaginary girlfriend again; I started calling her IG for short. I didn't think the pull she had for me was something I'd ever be able to control or explain. She was obviously some type of witch, able to cast a spell on me with the sound of her voice. But if that were the case, how come others who heard her sing were not just as entranced as I seemed to be. That made me think of other men being just as attracted to her as I was, and surge of jealousy swarmed through me. I chuckled to myself at the ridiculousness of it all.

The ding of the elevator sounded and the large, metal doors clanged open. Standing there inside the elevator car, was my IG…my siren…my vixen…my tormenter.

I had to blink a couple times, thinking the image of her would disappear. Was I having some sort of waking dream? I couldn't be sure. When she didn't disappear, I internally groaned, thinking that my mind had finally plummeted from the string it was hanging from. I had officially lost my marbles.

I stood there looking at her for several minutes, taking in the appearance of her. My imaginary girlfriend had always come to me dressed in seductive, alluring clothing that drove me absolutely crazy. This hallucination, however, seemed dressed to the setting; she had on a black colored scrub top that had one small piece of fabric covering the tops of her rounded breasts; suggestive, but not overly sexy. Her scrub bottoms were pink and form fitting, but not so much that they would be offensive. She looked cute, in an 'I-wanna-see-what-you-got-underneath-those-scrubs' kinda way. I just stood there, waiting for her to start her spout of suggestively direct commentary that would inevitably get my dick hard in a matter of seconds. But it didn't come. Instead, she seemed to be looking at me just as blankly. No seduction. No forwardness.

_Was she real, then? Was I really standing in front of my imaginary girlfriend, my siren? Holy shit…_

It was when I noticed the door about to slam into the side of her face that I finally broke out of my trance. I jetted my hand in front of the doors, stopping them from harming her. She seemed to be broken out of her thoughts at the same moment.

"Hi," I managed to say. Did she remember me from the bar? Did my obvious admiration for her that night scare her? She seemed to be frozen, standing completely stalk still, staring at me.

"Uh, huh," she breathed, motionless. I chuckled softly, thinking that maybe she had realized who I was and was a little embarrassed about running off. I wanted to capitalize on the opportunity, maybe take this chance to see if what I felt for her was in my head, or if there was a potential there for more. So, I asked if she was going down to the bottom floor, even though it was quite evident that she had just ridden _up_ to the top floor.

I tried to ease the tension between us by giving her a genuine Cullen half-smile. She blushed furiously, and I thought I could see her consider riding down with me for a split second.

"Bella," someone called from down the hall, and the beauty beside me turned to the name.

_Bella,_ my inner pervert crooned. _Beauty, it fits. _

She leaned out of the elevator car to address whoever was calling her, and I couldn't help my eyes from roaming down her supple body. The scrubs seemed more alluring than I'd originally realized; they hugged her little waist in such a way, emphasizing the shape of her chest and the curve of her hips. The color against her pale skin and deep mahogany hair made her absolutely glow. She was a vision.

My eyes continued to roam her body, down the soft planes of her neck towards her chest and back up again. I couldn't help it. Call me disgusting or perverted, whatever. I probably was. But she was eye candy, a feast for my long depravity, and I needed sustenance. She smelled amazing, both sweet and sultry at the same time.

My eyes paused at her identification badge clipped to the top of her shirt, and my heart sped at the thought of being able to find out more information about her. The tag had a rather flattering picture of her with her name underneath it: Isabella.

_Huh, she must go by Bella for short._

Underneath her name listed her title: Registered Nurse.

_Ahhh, she was a nurse. Nice. _

_Yeah, my naughty nurse,_ my inner pervert jeered.

Next listed the department she worked in: Emergency

_Damn. Of all the places…_

Unfortunately, I had made a decision a long time prior, not to get involved with women that Carlisle worked with. I had tried to date a nurse that was under Carlisle supervision, but things became complicated after awhile. When I tried to breakup with her, she had claimed that Carlisle was treating her poorly at work. She caused an upset at the hospital and had to be transferred to another department. Carlisle didn't blame me, he knew that she was just trying to make things difficult for me, but I had felt guilty nonetheless.

To find out that Bella, the object of my waking dreams, did in fact work with my father was disappointing the say the least.

Bella stepped from the elevator car, having made her decision to stay on the fifth floor while I was lost in my inner thoughts.

"Thanks," she mumbled. Her shyness was appealing to me. I smiled despite myself.

"No problem, Bella," I answered, her name dripping like molten chocolate from my mouth. I watched as the doors closed, her eyes still locked onto mine.

The ride down was long as my mind reeled over the possibilities. Should I let a past bad experience deter me from something I wanted? What if Bella and I were meant to be? Could I let that experience jeopardize what could be between us? Should I deny myself what I truly wanted?

I didn't know the answer. I thought it would've been selfish of me to put my father in that position, yet again. This situation wouldn't just affect me; I had to be responsible and consider all possible scenarios before I made a firm, responsible choice.

Perhaps it wasn't fair to judge Bella's character based on my past experience. She seemed like a sweet girl, and I doubted she'd ever do anything as conniving as the other woman I'd dated had done. Maybe I should give her a chance.

The elevator chimed as I arrived on the first floor, and I stepped out into the corridor quickly. I'd decided to talk to Carlisle about Bella. I wouldn't come out directly about my pseudo-relationship slash obsession with her, but maybe I could get some more insight on the type of person she was through Carlisle. He worked with her, after all. I was sure he'd be able to provide me with more details about her integrity.

As I approached my father's office, I heard the faint sound of raised voices behind his closed door. I leaned in to hear who was speaking to my father in such a heated manner.

"…I've warned you before about your behavior towards the nursing staff…" my father growled, his voice firm yet calm.

"She was baiting me," another man argued, his voice fervent.

"I don't care, Dr. Connelly," my father retorted. "You are not to speak to Bella like that again, do you understand?" My ears perked up at her name.

_Bella? My Bella? What the…_

The office doors flew open and an irate man in a long lab coat came storming out into the vacant corridor. His eyes met mine briefly, and he rolled his eyes, exasperated.

"Edward," my dad's voice said calmly, pulling my eyes away from Dr. Asshole's retreating form.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked, my voice tight.

"Don't worry about it," he answered, gesturing me inside his office. I reluctantly turned from the hallway, and entered my father's office. I sat in the chair across from his large, ornate desk, my thoughts still fuming on what I'd overheard.

"You gunna tell me what that was about?" I asked tersely.

"Just a colleague of mine who needed an attitude adjustment," my father answered as he arranged stray paperwork on his desk. He finished, clasped his hands in front of him, and looked at me. Something in my expression must have given him the impression that I didn't like what I'd heard that asshat say to him, for his brow furrowed as he began to explain.

"It's nothing I can't handle, Edward," he explained. "Dr. Connelly was under the misguided belief that the nursing staff needed a firmer hand, as he put it. I set him straight."

"Who's Bella?" I asked, knowing damn well who she was, but wanting my father's answer. Maybe he could tell me why that dickhead was talking about her the way he was.

"Bella Swan? She's a nurse who works in the department," he chuckled, clearly amused by something about her, which immediately aggravated me more. "She is quite the feisty little thing; I think she was too much for good ol' Connelly to handle."

"What do you mean," I asked a little too quickly; my father's eyes narrowed slightly as he answered, his expression wary.

"She just put him in his place, is all. He tried to bully one of our new nurses and she had to step in. When Connelly got a little inappropriate, I stepped in. No big deal," he explained, but I didn't like his carefree-attitude about it all.

"What did he say to her?" I asked, my voice raising an octave. My father looked surprised at my attitude, but I was beyond caring. Something inside me had become very protective over Miss Bella Swan, possessive almost.

"Edward," my father said slowly. "Why is this bothering you so much? Do you know her or something?" I looked to floor quickly, avoiding his probing eyes. I didn't want to lie to him, that much I knew. But I didn't want to lay all my cards out, right there on his desk. I was afraid he'd interpret my interest a little too well, and I didn't want any awkward conversations tainting a perfectly good afternoon.

"I - ahh - yeah, I've met her," I finally answered. "She visits Nikki, the little girl from the accident, remember?" My father nodded, his eyes softening slightly. "She just seems like a caring person, and I didn't want some jack off treating her poorly, that's all." My father nodded in understanding, but his head tilted slightly and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me, appraising. I hated it when my father looked at me like that. Much like Esme, Carlisle had the ability to see through my bullshit lies and half truths, knowing when I was full of shit, like now.

"Oh," my father said, seemingly deciding not to push the subject.

"How is Nikki?" he asked, changing the topic of conversation with Cullen finesse. "She was battling a respiratory infection last time I check on her."

"Yeah," I answered, my face lightening from the tense pose it held. "She seems pretty ill. Is there anything else that can be done?"

"She's receiving the best care possible," my father answered, shaking his head in frustration. "All the appropriate antibiotics are on board. It's going to be a wait-and-see game; hopefully, her body is strong enough to heal itself."

"She's so small," I murmured; Carlisle nodded in agreement. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking over a cup of coffee in the cafeteria. My father was too busy to step away for a proper lunch, and there was no way in hell I was eating the slop they served at the hospital, so we made due with what we were allotted.

We talked about the upcoming benefit and my plans to call my grandfather. Carlisle sympathized with my plight, and didn't envy me for the upcoming uncomfortable conversation between the eldest Cullen and myself. I put on a brave face, however, telling him that I wasn't worried about it. It was true, I wasn't worried, per se. I just didn't want to have to hear the disappointment in his voice, yet again.

Around two, I left the hospital, planning to head to the gym for a nice, long workout. I flipped my cell out, planning to text Jasper and Emmett before I drove. But my cell rang just as I was about to hit send.

"Hello?"

"Hey shit dick!"

_Emmett…_

"Hey fucker, I was just about to call you," I grinned into the receiver.

"Sup?" he asked in his usual clipped tone.

"Wanna hit the gym?"

"Sure thing," he answered. "Meet you in thirty?"

"Right on," I replied. "Get Jazz on it?"

"Coolio," he answered, then hung up.

I flipped my phone shut and pulled out to the parking lot, heading towards the gym.

* * *

**AN: I have the best new betas in the world! The glorious Hibbleton78, author of a great story called _Sway_, and the talented & fabulous Neliz. Thanks to both of them, this story is up and running once again! **

**Thanks to all the readers for patiently waiting for this story to continue. I have changed a lot of the last four chapters, and the changes arent minor. A lot more character & plot development. So if it's been awhile, go ahead and reread the beginning. You wont be disappointed. **

**My profile has bonus links and I will be putting one up for a teaser on Sunday. Till then, happy reading!**


	7. Chapter 6 Conversations in Bluntness

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.  
**

* * *

Chapter Six - Conversations in Bluntness

BPOV

"I think you should just fuck him," Rose spat through a mouthful of spinach salad as we sat in the break room, discussing my run-in with 'Green Eyes' over our lunch break. "You should find him and screw him like your life depended on it. That always takes the edge off any attraction." I shook my head in disagreement, mildly disgusted by her suggestion, but slightly curious to know if it would actually work; I doubted it.

"I can't do that, Rose," I chastised into my plate of egg salad.

"And why the fuck not?" Rose asked, snapping her head at me in such a Rose-like gesture, Alice and Angela laughed at her flamboyance. She always had such a potty mouth for someone so feminine.

"Because," Alice's sweet, sing-song voice chimed in. "For one, Bella is not like you, Rose," She pointed accusingly at the gorgeous blonde across the table. "Not everyone has your gracious lack of morality and vivacious sexual energy." Rose threw a grape at Alice's head, which she stealthily dodged and continued. "And second, she doesn't even know how to find him, even if the desire made itself excruciatingly painful."

"It shouldn't be that hard," Rose argued as she fingered another grape. "Just call 1-800-FindHim! I'm sure if you gave them his description, they'd be able to track him down."

"What?" Angela, Alice and I all asked in unison, our voices a mix between amusement and disbelief.

"You know, 'Find Him'," Rose gestured, then rolled her eyes as she took in our expressions of confusion. "Oh for shit's sake, don't tell me you've never heard of them."

We all shook our heads, looking at each other to see if anyone had a clue at what she was blabbering about. Everyone seemed to be as lost as I felt.

"'Find Him'? It's a company designed by three incredibly brilliant women, who reside in Seattle, I might add. One of them crossed paths with a mysterious hottie and had one amazing night of passionate sex. Afterwards, he gave her his number, but through a tragic string of events, she lost the number and never heard from him again. She and her girlfriends set out to make sure that it never happened to a poor pathetic woman again, so they devised 'Find Him'. The company finds eligible bachelors based on description and characteristics through a computer program they created. Their database is vast, trust me. They'd find him."

"You're making that shit up," I laughed, incredulous.

"Am not," Rose gasped, affronted. "I can't believe you honestly never heard of this. There was a huge spread in Cosmo about it too; something about every woman's guide to finding that 'one that got away'."

"Sounds a little shady," Angela commented as she reached across the table to steal one of Rosalie's grapes, her face twisting as she considered the idea of it. "I mean, it's kinda creepy, in a desperate-stalkerish kind of way."

"Don't tell me that you've never seen an incredibly gorgeous man in passing, but were unable to have the opportunity to approach him and regretted it ever since," Rose said through a mouth full of food. "Everyone has one of those 'what if's', and this company is a perfect solution for it."

"You're crazy," I chuckled, wiping my mouth with a scratchy napkin. "I am not calling some sick and twisted group of catty women to find this man for me. If it's meant to be, it will be. Period."

"Whatever," Rose grumbled. "I'll remind you of that when your va-jay-jay becomes all wrinkly and decrepit from non-use. See if you'll regret it then, huh?" We all laughed at that.

"I swear, I don't know what is up with you two," she sternly said, her voice becoming a little louder as she gestured between Alice and me. We both looked at each other, exchanging questioning looks, bracing ourselves for an infamous Rosalie Hale lecture. "All this 'if it's meant to be' crap is getting on my last nerve." Alice narrowed her eyes at Rose's comment, then continued to eat her pasta salad stoically.

"I take that to mean you never attempted to contact your fireman?" I asked Alice quietly.

"No, as a matter of fact, I did not," she answered in her melodic trill. "I happen to believe in fated love; I refuse to settle for anything less than perfect. And I, for one, have complete confidence that he will find me." Rose chortled at that, causing a tiny bit of salad dressing to leak out of the corner of her mouth. Despite how utterly disgusting it was, Rose maintained her modelesque beauty and elegant reform. _Bitch..._

"Don't laugh at me, you hussy," Alice chuckled, swatting Rose's leg playfully. "I'm serious. I'm not worried about it at all."

"That's a load of crap; you know that, right? Life isn't all clouds and roses, Alice. You've got to take the bull by the horns...or the cock by the balls in this case," Rose laughed as we all groaned through our chuckles. Except for Alice, she was astutely concentrating on her food.

"I don't know who is worse," Rose laughed, turning towards Alice's scowling face. "You and your delusions, or Bella and her obsessions." She laughed even louder as Alice and I both simultaneously flashed her the finger, neither one of us willing to play into her banter.

"You're the one to talk," I began, quick to remind her about her own fickle Romeo. "Remind me, Alice, but didn't she spend three days looking after an injured fireman, sure that she'd found her one true love?" That comment got Rosalie Hale to shut her mouth quickly. _I thought I'd never live to see the day... _"And I seem to recall the long conversation about how heart broken she was that he didn't even seem interested in her," I stated, smiling as the faintest of blushes colored Rosalie's perfect cheeks. Alice seemed to perk up at my reminder.

"That's right," she agreed, smiling wider as she saw Rosalie's obvious avoidance of the subject. "What happened to taking the cock by the balls, huh Rosalie?"

"Fuck you both," she spat as we both laughed, causing Rosalie to crack a small smile. "I'm not confiding in you two bitches anymore."

"Oh sure you will," I argued, smiling wider now. "So what happened to him, huh? Why aren't you calling that 1-800-STALKER place yourself?"

"I'd decided to let that one go," she answered with a flick of her wrist, feigning nonchalance, but both Alice and I could see through her facade. "I figured, if he wasn't interested then fuck him," she said shrugging her shoulders, seemingly uncaring. I could see Alice glance at me through the corner of my eye, and I could tell that her expression mirrored my own: surprise, shock, and concern for our friend. It was completely atypical behavior for Rosalie Hale to become flustered about a man she'd barely known, forget the fact that she'd gone out of her way to visit him while he was in the hospital. We both knew that Rosalie must have really had feelings for him, because he was all she spoke about those three days...and for several days after. But for her to be so hurt by his indirect rejection, was so...unlike her.

"Besides," she finished after a heavy, pregnant pause. "Johnny just got some new batteries...so he's raring and ready to go!" We laughed hysterically at that, effectively breaking the brief discomfort of the moment. _Only Rose...God, I loved her to bits._

"So, what does this guy look like anyway, Bella?" Angela asked. "He must be pretty hot, huh?"

Rose and Alice groaned.

"You haven't heard this story?" Rose asked her, incredulous.

"Who hasn't," Alice commented. Angela giggled as I groaned. Both Rose and Alice prepared themselves for their Bella-imitations, and if it wasn't so damn funny, I might have been slightly offended by their characterization of me. Rosalie poufed out her hair while Alice wore a doe-like expression on her face, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. _Totally not accurate...bitches_.

"He sat down the bar from me, totally checking me out," Rose chimed, her squeaky voice sounding nothing like mine. _I better not sound like that...  
_  
"He looked so hot in his tight jeans, drinking his manly beer all while sending out sexy-time vibes towards me like heat waves," Alice chimed in, swinging her hips with a snap at the end.

"And his bronzed sex-hair and heavenly green eyes just made my girlie parts tingle," Rose finished, clasping her hands together under her chin and batting her eyes in rapid succession.

"I just wanted to jump his bones right then," Alice jumped in, her hand going to her chest in a mock fainting motion. "But his dick just looked so large in his tight jeans, it frightened me. So I just ran right outta there, heading back to my land of virginity and chastity." Rosalie and Angela were bent over in hysterics at her words. I was a half annoyed, half amused. _That sucker did look huge...and I wasn't that chaste, even though it'd been awhile...  
_  
"I spent the next two weeks, pining after my lost love," Alice began again.

"And touching myself while he came to me in my dreams," Rose added on the side. I swatted her arm playfully. "Don't even act like you didn't, Ms. Swan. Our walls aren't that thick."

"Oh my gosh," I moaned, covering my eyes to hide my embarrassment.

They were all laughing so hard at my reaction, that it took us a minute to realize that there was a deep-throated chuckle coming from behind us. It appeared that we'd all realized this fact at the same time, because the four of us turned to see where the noise was coming from.

Dr. Cullen who was standing by the back counter, a cup of coffee in his hands. He had a wry smile on his lips as he tried to cover the fact that he had been eavesdropping on our highly embarrassing conversation. My face heated.

"Enjoying your lunch, ladies?" he asked innocently. I dropped my head to the table in shame.

"You know it, Dr. Cullen," Rose answered, not a hint of mortification to be found.

"I'll leave you to it, then," he smiled, departing out into the hallway. The girls busted into a cacophony of laughter, while I just thought I'd die of humiliation.

"That was horrible," I groaned.

"Oh lighten up," Rose replied, her tone light. "It's not like he hasn't heard it all before. We didn't de-cherry his virgin-ears."

"Not with a body like that," Angela mumbled as Alice laughed.

"Mrs. Cullen is one lucky lady," Rose nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe you two," I chastised them, trying my hardest not to smile. "I don't know why you are making fun of me, you two aren't any better," I added, pointing my finger accusingly at each in turn.

"Oh no," Rose argued. "You were by far the worst amongst us. You should have seen her the way she talked about it, Angela. Highly entertaining."

"Entertaining?" Alice asked, incredulity in her voice. "For shit's sake, the way she was acting, you would have though she'd seen the second coming of Christ."

"I was not that bad-" I tried to defend myself, but both Rose and Alice jumped in to refute.

"The hell you weren't!"

"It was quite pathetic, Bella."

"She calls him 'Green Eyes' for fuck's sake," Rosalie laughed. I smacked her arm, affronted.

"I like the nickname," Angela proclaimed, sipping on her iced tea. "It's got a Sinatra-esque vibe to it."

"Thank you, Angela," I gratified.

"And it's so like Bella to make up a pet name for her wet dream," Rosalie chuckled.

"Oh come on," I protested, dropping my fork onto my empty plate. "I am not the one who nicknames my vibrator, for one. And two, I was not that bad, just thrown off my game for a minute and I had to vent to my two best friends. Give a girl a break!"

"Vent?" Rosalie asked, arching one perfect eyebrow and completely ignoring my cheap shot to her pink, plastic Sancho. "My God woman, that was some venting. It lasted all of two weeks."

"Did not-" I began, but stopped short when I realized that she was probably right. _Had I really sounded that pathetic? That desperate?  
_  
"If he is such a hottie, Bella, I don't understand why you didn't talk to him today," Alice mused, her face accusing.

"Because," I attempted to explain, for the third time. "He was leaving and I didn't want to seem desperate since it was completely obvious that I'd just ridden _up _the elevator. Plus, Jessica came and interrupted my  
semi-drool fest, telling me Nikki was sick. What could I have done?"

"Left with him, followed him to his car, made him drive a couple miles and pull into an alley, then fucked his brains out," Rose said, like it was the obvious answer. I shook my head.

"Be serious, Rose," I complained, honestly wanting some advice.

"I am completely, one hundred percent serious, Bella," she argued with a straight face. "Well, semi-serious, anyway. What would it hurt to find him?"

"I can't be that bold," I stated, looking to the table. "I'm not like you. If he was interested, he would have said something to me."

"He asked you to ride down the elevator with him, didn't he?" Angela asked. I glared at her; why did she have to add fuel to the fire?

"That's right," Alice smiled. "You see, Bella. Maybe he was interested and you turned down a perfect opportunity."

"It wasn't like that," I admonished, shaking my head in defiance. "He was just being polite…"

"I guess you'll never know," Rosalie sighed, standing to leave the break room, for our thirty minute lunch period was over….about fifteen minutes ago. We tended to get a little winded when we were all together like that. After dumping our trays into the trash, we reluctantly headed back into the chaos that was the Emergency Department, rejuvenated and ready to start the rest of our shifts.

We took in two traumas and three cardiac arrests. Rose, Alice, and I remained pretty busy for the rest of the day, trying to get caught up on charting and making our medication rounds. Throughout the day, my mind would frequently return to the conversation at lunch. I knew Rosalie and Alice didn't mean to make fun of me about my crush on 'Green Eyes'; we would always joke around, giving each other a hard time about some situation or another. It was just that this one hit so close to home for me. I didn't think I could ever fully explain how much this mysterious man had affected me. Yes, I had only seen him twice. Yes, I had only shared two coherent words with him. Yes, I didn't know him from Adam. Despite all that, my feelings for him were stronger than I had ever felt for another individual in my life, including my father, who I adored. It was irrational and completely out of character for me, but yet, my feelings were there, and I couldn't ignore them.

Around six thirty that evening, things in the ED finally slowed down. I was sitting at the nurses' station, trying to get caught up on my last couple of charts when I heard a small voice behind me.

"Hey, Bells," Alice chimed as she sat in the seat next to me. "You all caught up?"

"Just about," I said, my eyes focused on the screen before me. "You?"

"Uh, huh," Alice answered, her voice soft. "Listen, Bella. I'm sorry if Rose and I were too harsh on you today." I paused from my work and turned to her. The look on her face was apologetic and completely sincere.

"Oh, honey," I answered, reaching my hand out to rub her knee. "I know you guys didn't mean anything by it. Don't worry about it."

"No, Bella. I mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything. I can understand how you feel about him. Believe me, I do. I'm just as completely consumed by my guy, too." I smiled at her, but when I looked closer, I saw the longing in her eyes.

_Was that same longing in mine as well?_

"Why don't you find him, Alice?"

"Oh gah, now you're starting to sound like Rosalie," she laughed. I grimaced at her.

"I mean it, Alice. You know where he works, for crying out loud. You could call him, go by the station, whatever."

"It's not supposed to happen like that," she answered, her voice certain. "I just know it's not, Bella. I have a feeling about it." Alice had always made me feel loved; her friendship with me had been immediate and pure, almost from the word, go. She had an impeccable way of seeing the good in me, almost like she could see my soul, rather the exterior of me. She could read me like an open book, and her advice to me had always been genuine. She was my soul sister, my best friend, even if she freaked me out sometimes with her premonitions.

"You and your feelings," I mumbled. Alice sighed.

"I have a feeling about you, too," she whispered.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she answered with a huge smile. "Don't worry Bella. He won't be like the others."

"Others?" I asked, innocently.

"Oh please, Bella," Rose grunted; I hadn't noticed she'd sat behind me on the desk. "You know you don't have the best track record here lately."

"She's right, Bella," Alice agreed, nodding her head for emphasis. "Don't you remember Glen?"

I cringed.

Of course she had to bring up my crush in college. He was a football player that sat in front of me in my Freshmen Lit class. He was gorgeous and I spent the entire semester drooling down his thick, muscular neck. The one opportunity I had to talk to him, I was a blubbering mess of nerves. I stuttered, snorted, and guffawed my way through a two minute conversation, and the end of which led me into hysterics when I caught him looking at me like my skin was diseased from some flesh eating bacteria; he never attempted to talk to me again.

"And Kevin," Rosalie added. Again, a boy that I had an absolute thing for sophomore year. He was a drama major, one of the artistic types that screamed passion and sex. He happened to be the aide in my Intro to Drama class; I had to perform a skit from Romeo and Juliet in front of the whole class, with him playing my Romeo. Holy shit, it was hot. But when it was time for the kiss, my nerves got the best of me and I literally fainted from holding my breath in anticipation. I woke up in the campus nurses station with ice pack on my head. Yeah, embarrassing. I think he took pity on me though, because he took me on a couple dates. But after I'd made a total jackass out of my self by tripping, stumbling, and otherwise embarrassing myself through the evenings, he didn't call me again.

"And Rod," Alice added. He was my last attempt at a 'normal relationship', which lasted all of one month. He was hot, and the sex was alright. But when he introduced me to his sister, my big clumsy ass tripped once I was not two steps in front of her, face planting my large head directly into her brand new size DD boobs, sending her into a mild hysteria from the pain. After several minutes of her cursing me out and me profusely apologizing, Rod took me home. He didn't return my calls after that.

"So what?" I argued, feeling a little like I was being ganged up on. "I've had trouble with dating the last couple years. I've been busy, it hasn't been a priority."

"Whatever," Rose mumbled."The longest relationship you've had is with Jimmy, and I think that was because deep inside, you knew he was emotionally unavailable."

"What?" I asked, affronted that she'd bring up my past run with Jimmy. "We'd had fun, but I wouldn't call that a relationship," I argued.

"My point exactly," Rose stated, pushing a chair out of the way so she could sit next to Alice on the desk. "You are afraid to take risks because of your past failures. And _that_, my friend, is why you didn't talk to 'Green Eyes' today."

"That's not true-"

"Face it, Bella," Alice chimed in her bell-like voice. "You're going to end up alone because you don't take chances. Put yourself out there."

"Maybe she should date Mike," Rosalie suggested among Alice's groans of disapproval. It was a running joke of mine that I'd end up with Mike because he was the only one who would still want to be with me, ignoring my clumsiness and poor social grace. Mike, like me, was cursed with an unfathomable sense of inelegance and knack at becoming a statistic to every accident known to man. We often compared war stories and battle wounds, mine always being just a tad worse than his. We had made it a game, at one point.

"We are _not_ going there, Rose," Alice chastised. "Could you imagine their kids? They'd be cursed with bad luck and horrid balance." We all laughed at that.

"Hello, ladies," a soft voice called, and we all turned to see who it belonged to. Mrs. Cullen was standing on the other side of the nurses' station, hands full with platters of, what smelled like, her freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. My mouth started watering at the aroma. Unlike other wives, who'd be completely jealous and over protective to have their husbands working so close with young women all day, Mrs. Cullen was an absolute sweetheart. She treated the three of us like we were her long lost daughters, spoiling us with baked goods any chance she got. We'd even gone out to lunch with her a couple times.

"Oh, Mrs. Cullen," Alice crooned, eyes wide as she scrutinized the platter of cookies. "Are those for us?" Mrs. Cullen nodded her head jubilantly with a broad smile on her face.

"I figured you girls could use the pick me up. Carlisle told me it's been busy around here."

"When is it not," Rosalie muttered as she lifted the foil encompassing one of the platters, digging for the biggest cookie no doubt. It always amazed me how Rosalie could eat like a pig but still maintain her statuesque physique with little to no effort. Just one more reason for me to hate her guts, I reasoned blithely. But no matter how many excuses I'd found to be jealous for Rosalie's beauty, her fierce friendship and devotion to me always solidified her place in my life as one of my besties, eclipsing everything else.

"I also wanted to offer an invitation to you ladies." We all perked up at her words. "It's time for the annual American Heart Association benefit, hosted by the Cullen family. This year's event will be exquisite, a black and white event. I would love it if you girls would come." Alice and Rosalie grinned widely, practically salivating at an excuse to go shopping and dress up. All I could think about was my lack of a dance card.

"We'd love to, Mrs. C." Alice cheered as she bounced up and down in excitement.

"Call me Esme, sweetheart," she smiled, always quick to remind us that calling her Mrs. Cullen reminded her of her mother in law…and made her feel old. "I love my husband, but her mother is something else…" We laughed as she told us of how her mother in law still called her everyday, making sure she had Dr. Cullen's coffee prepared and newspaper ready every morning. It bothered her, but she dealt with it in stride. Plus, we always got a kick out of hearing her in-law horror stories.

"Speaking of my husband, have you girls seen him lately?" Of course, I immediately turned red, thinking of the last time I did in fact see Dr. Cullen. I didn't think I'd be able to look at him in the face again, after what he'd overheard in the break room earlier. He probably thought I was a complete perv, thanks to Rosalie and Alice's big, dirty mouths. _Bitches…_

"Not since lunch," Alice laughed, catching my reddened cheeks as she nudged my arm.

"What happened at lunch?" Mrs. C asked, her smiled widening as she took in my embarrassment.

"He might have overheard us talking," Rosalie answered, her mouth full of gooey chocolaty goodness.

"About what?" Mrs. C asked, her knowing eyes and smirk directed right at my widened eyes. I turned to Alice and Rosalie, who were snickering next to me, silently begging them with my eyes to spare me from further mortification.

They, of course, completely ignored my silent plea.

_Those panty waste, cock sucking, hood rats…._I was starting to reconsider the undying sisterhood proclamation in that moment.

"Oh," Alice began, her voice innocently nonchalant as she began to further bury me into a hole of disgrace and shame. "We were talking about this boy that Bella is obsessed with."

"Oh?" Mrs. C questioned, her eyes peeking in interest. She casually leaned on the nurses' station, her body language suggesting she was settling in for some good gossip. Only there weren't any really juicy tid bits to share. It was pretty pathetic, really. My obsession with a boy I'd never formally met. But here it was, being retold for the world to hear, by my two supposed best friends, and to my boss's wife of all people. _Nice…_

"Mmmhmm," Alice hummed. "She's seen him twice, once today in this very hospital. But she hasn't had the nerve to talk to him much."

"She's been rather…preoccupied…with him," Rose mused, her tone suggestive.

"For the love of God," I began, practically pleading with my words and tone of voice. But Mrs. C. just put her hand on my head and rubbed it like a fond mother, telling me in no simple terms, to shut the hell up so she could hear the girlie drama. _Lord help me…._

"I haven't seen him, so I can't judge," Rosalie added, matter of fact like. "But from the sounds of it, he's all too consuming." I groaned as Alice giggled beside me. I swatted at her leg, which she gracefully dodged.

"Oh sweetie," she hushed me. "It's all right. Believe me, I know how a man can preoccupy one's thoughts at night." Alice and Rosalie laughed at the seriousness in Esme's tone, which effectively got me to crack a smile through my embarrassment.

"So what does this beautiful boy look like?" she asked, her hand coming below her chin in such a teenie bopper-like movement, I couldn't help but grin.

"Well," I began timidly, my voice scratchy from embarrassment. "He's tall, well built, from what I can tell." Rosalie and Alice giggled again. I shot them a sharp look of annoyance when one of them muttered something like 'I bet he's well built'.

"Oh you two hush up," Esme chided. "I wanna here the good parts. Go on, sweetie," she encouraged me, flashing her gorgeous, blinding smile. I returned the grin, despite my shyness.

"I don't know," I began again. "There's something about him that just, calls to me. It's more than attraction. It's like I am supposed to be near him in some way. The way he smells, his smile, his eyes; they just draw you in. He is just…breathtaking. I can't explain it. The draw, it's just…powerful." I shrugged as my voice trailed off, my eyes fixed on the desk in front of me in embarrassment at my admission. "But I'm just being ridiculous, like some junior high school crush. I mean, I haven't even _really_ met him, not officially. I'm probably just reacting to the _idea_ of him and would end up disappointed in the long run."

"Oh honey," Esme whispered, her voice so tender that I had to look up. Her face was soft and her eyes were light with emotion. "You're in love," she said plainly, causing my heart to skip a beat at her words.

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows pulling together as I considered her words. "N-n-no," I stuttered, my eyes blinking rapidly. "That's not it. I-I-I couldn't be. I don't even know him. It's just infatuation, that's all. Give me a couple weeks and I will be over him…it." I was rambling, I knew it. But her words sent me into a semi-panic mode. I couldn't be in love; that was just…crazy. There was no possible way that could be true. People don't fall in love with complete strangers. That stuff only happened in movies and pathetic romance novels. Not in real life, and especially not to me.

I turned to look at Rosalie and Alice, hoping that they'd both back me up with my correction. But Rosalie held a look of reflection, while Alice had small smile plaguing the corner of her mouth. Neither one of them was giggling at Esme's comment or arguing against it. They said nothing, just looked at me with mixed emotions on their face.

"….what he looks like?" Esme asked, but I only caught the tail end because I was still stunted by her words.

"What?" I asked, my eyes not really focusing on her as my mind was reeling.

"I said, do you know what he looks like? Maybe Carlisle knows him, if he's been around the hospital."

"Ummm," I mumbled, not really wanting to finish the conversation because my face, I was afraid, would give away the mixed emotions I was feeling. _Was I in love? With a stranger?_

"From what she's said," Rosalie interrupted. "He's tall, gorgeous, with sex hair and vivid green eyes."

"Really?" Mrs. Cullen said, her posture straightening and eyebrows furrowed. "That's strange. It's probably a coincidence, but my s-"

"Esme," Dr Cullen called, effectively stopping her. He walked up to her quickly and kissed her on the cheek. Esme's cheeks blushed as she leaned into her husband's affection. The love between them was always so evident that it made me feel odd for watching such an exchange. "What are you doing here, love?"

"I came to bring the girls some cookies and invite them to this year's benefit," she explained, gesturing to the display of baked good, half of which had disappeared into Rosalie's size four waistline. _Hoochie…_

"How thoughtful," he crooned, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. "But are you sure you want to subject them to what is sure to be yet another Cullen-style snob fest." Esme sighed, exasperated.

"It will be fine," Esme stated. "Edward has set everything up. It's going to be gorgeous and the guest list is such that even your parents couldn't complain."

"We'll see…" Dr. Cullen sighed.

"And these lovely ladies will just add to the beauty," she continued. Rosalie and Alice nodded in affirmation.

"Dr. Cullen," Mike called, running towards us with an alarmed look on his face. He had his hand clutched to the stethoscope draped around his neck so that it wouldn't bounce up and hit him in the face as he ran. I noticed several of the techs starting to gather triage equipment and heading towards the trauma bays. Dr. Cullen's expression became serious quickly.

When Mike was a few feet away, he tripped over an extension cord that was linking power to a mobile computer, and skidded across the floor. I sprang up from the nurses' station to see if he was okay as Dr. Cullen went to help Mike off the floor. Rosalie snorted as Alice sighed, exasperated.

"You see, Alice," Rose admonished. "Him and Bella, it's kismet." Alice giggled as I glared at her bluntly.

"You okay, Mike?" I asked. He got up laughing as he dusted his scrub pants off.

"Yeah, Bells. I'm fine. Never a dull moment…" he trailed off.

"What's going on, Mike?" Dr. Cullen asked while checking out a painful looking skid mark on Mike's chin.

"Five car pileup just called in. Looks like we have some traumas heading our way." We all sighed, frustrated.

"How far out?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Three minutes," Mike answered. I glanced at the clock, 6:45pm. It was so close to shift change, and it was just my luck to have a trauma roll in right when we were about done with our shift. _Damn…_

"Sorry, baby," Dr. Cullen sighed, turning to his wife. "Looks like it will be a late night." Esme nodded understandingly, planting a quick kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Alright," Dr. Cullen said, switching into his trauma mode. "Bella, take the triage position. Alice, trauma bay one. Rosalie, take bay two. Mike, call up the Respiratory Department and have a couple ventilators on standby. We all nodded and headed to the ambulance bay.

Rosalie grabbed a couple rolls of gauze and some disposable blood pressure cuffs, while Alice prepped the rapid sequence intubation medications and stack of syringes. I stuffed my pockets with gloves and donned a disposable gown, in case the victims were bloody. We waited outside the trauma bays as we heard the ambulances coming from afar.

"Did she ever find him?" I asked Rosalie while I double gloved in preparation.

"What?" Rosalie asked, throwing her arms through a yellow disposable gown.

"The girl, from the hotline, did she ever find her mystery man?"

"I don't remember?" she said, her gaze looking to the side in contemplation. "Maybe."

"Oh," I sighed, feeling a sense of disappointment. I was hoping for a happy ending, at least for someone.

"Who are you going to take to the benefit?" Rosalie asked, her eyes locked on the street ahead. I shrugged in response.

"You going to call that place to find him or what?"

"No, Rose. I'm not."

"Why not?"

"I'm not having this discussion again, Rose," I said a little louder as the sirens got closer.

"Bella," Rosalie called as Dr. Cullen and I got ready to receive the first victims. "I just want you to be happy." The look on her face was genuine, and it gave me a funny twinge in my stomach.

"I know," I said, just barely loud enough for her to hear me, for the first ambulance had pulled onto our street, loaded to the brim.

* * *

**AN: Major thanks to my awesome betas, Neliz and Hibbleton78. They gave me great feedback, suggestions, and got it back to me a quick as possible. **

**Thanks for all of you who are reviewing. They make me smile and my day, truely. **

**The teaser for chapter seven is linked on my profile. Enjoy!**


	8. Chapter 7 Perspective

The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2009 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Chapter 7 – Perspective

Edward POV

"Tanya, it's Edward. I need you to call me back," I paused, running my fingers through my hair; it was nervous habit of mine. I hated making this call. "We have to talk. You can't keep ignoring me like this. You have to address this sooner or later...please? I need to get it back from you; don't be petty. Just, call me back." I clicked off my phone, frustrated once again.

I'd lost count of how many messages I'd left her, each one as desperate as the next. I needed to talk to her about everything. Closure; it didn't come easy with a Denali. I knew our engagement had ended badly, but for her to completely ignore my phone calls was getting utterly ridiculous. Especially with the benefit gala coming up in just a couple of weeks.

Maybe I should have let Esme handle it, like she had suggested. Maybe that would've been best for all parties involved.

I cringed, feeling completely useless; I didn't want Esme to have to handle my problems. It was my job, I needed to do it. After all, I was the idiot who'd given her my mother's ring.

I sighed, disappointed. I was lying on my bed, freshly showered from the gym, with my arm draped across my forehead. My towel still slung haphazardly across my pelvis. The cool air from my room felt good on my heated skin as my muscles began to relax after my strenuous workout.

The gym with the guys had been just what I'd needed. They knew about all the bull shit drama I had going on in my life, but they never pressed me about the details. If I needed to talk, I knew they'd listen. And they weren't the type of friends to offer their two cents unless I'd asked for advice; for the most part, they knew just to shut up and listen to me vent.

Despite all my utter bull shit, there was one problem that weighed heaviest on my mind. And this time, I was looking for some council.

During our workout, I had wanted to talk to them about my concerns of all things Bella, in an indirect way, of course. Although Emmett never took a damn thing seriously, Jasper always seemed to have some good advice.

"You alright, Edward?" Jasper asked as he'd spotted me on the bench press, his eyes focusing on my reps, making sure my grip on the handle bar never slackened as I pushed the weight up and down.

"Yeah," I grunted, lifting the 250lb weighted bar up for the final time. My muscles ached after doing my maximum weight, but it always felt good to push myself.

"Can I ask you a question?" I started hesitantly, sitting up from underneath the bar hitch. Jasper sat next to me, looking at me expectantly.

"Shoot," he said.

"I know we've talked about this before. But, what would you do if you wanted to date a nurse at the hospital?" Emmett and Jasper had witnessed my debacle with Bree, the nurse who'd worked with Carlisle. Like the good friends they were, they had helped me deal with stalker-like behavior after I tried to break it off with her by playing my offensive line. When she would call to talk to me, they'd either tell her that I wasn't home, or would relay the messages that I didn't want to talk to her. After a while, she started to give my father problems at work, claiming he was being unfair and biased in the assessment of her work. She'd brought a full-on investigation against my father and the department as a whole, dissecting how things were ran under his supervision.

Both Jasper and Emmett had seen how hard it was to deal with the aftermath, and how it had affected my father, personally and professionally. I think after all that, they'd kind of adopted my 'no nurse' rule, for the both of them were extremely close to my parents as well. But, it had been a long time ago. And I knew if anyone could offer me perspective, it would be Jasper. He seemed to be able to cut through all the bull shit and see at the heart of a matter.

What I wasn't prepared for was the subtle blush that crept into his cheeks at my question, making him look incredibly guilty for some reason.

"Jazz?" I asked, watching him intently as he avoided my gaze.

"He's the wrong person to ask that question," Emmett mused from beside us, forty pound barbells in each hand. He was grunting under the strain of his repetitious movement, moving his forearms interchangeably to work his biceps effectively.

"And why is that?" I asked, looking from Emmett back to Jasper as he began to stand from the bench, turning his back on me.

"Well, you see," Emmett began, bending down to place his weights on the matted floor. "He's in love with one himself." I turned to Jasper quickly, my face stunned from that bit of news.

"When the hell did that happen?" I asked, my voice quick with incredulity, and a little hurt. Neither of my friends had ever kept anything from me before; we were like brothers, we'd grown up together. I didn't understand why Jasper hadn't said anything to me about it earlier, especially if he loved the girl, for crying out loud. And he told Emmett first? What the fuck?

"Hey, fuck face," Jasper growled at Emmett, his body whipping around as his eyes narrowed slightly. "We said we weren't going to say anything."

"He brought it up," Emmett retorted, pointing at me accusingly. I was more than confused, I was dumbfounded. I had no clue as to what they were talking about, but something deep inside me had a feeling that I wasn't the only one struggling with mixed emotions, and my insides flared with a small sense of...hope?

"What are you two girls talking about?" I asked, standing from the bench and approaching them both warily. What I saw surprised me. Jasper wore an expression that was borderline painful, while Emmett's posture was rigid, but confident. I felt more confused than before.

"Jasper thinks he's found his soul mate," Emmett answered flatly, crossing his arms over his large, muscled chest. I never got over just how big that fucker was, but after he worked his muscles and they were bulging, like now, he was downright intimidating.

"Fuck you," Jasper spat as he lunged at Emmett.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I yelled, jumping in front of Jasper to prevent him from doing something stupid. Emmett could wrap him up like a basketball, and I didn't want them to regret hurting each other later. "Are you crazy, Jasper? What the hell is your problem?"

Jasper pushed away from me, walking to a sideline bench that housed our gym bags, waters, and towels. Jasper grabbed a towel and raked it over his sweating face, pulling it around him to wipe at his neck. Angrily, he grabbed a bottle of water, twisted the cap and guzzled about half of its contents. He was ignoring me, biding his time. I turned to Emmett, exasperated. If one of these fuckers didn't tell me what the fuck was going on, I was going to blow a gasket.

"Emm?" I asked, my tone showing my impatience. Emmett looked over to Jasper, questioningly. Jasper gestured to him, signaling that he could fill me in.

"Do you remember the day of the accident? On the I-5, the one with the family and the little girl?" Did I remember it? How could I forget? That was the day I found my singer, of course I remembered. It was etched into my every fiber. I nodded, my face flat, only acknowledging that I, indeed, had some recollection.

"Well," Emmett continued. "That was the day he saw her," he said, pointing haphazardly to Jasper.

"Who?" I asked, turning from Emmett to see Jasper sitting on the bench, his head in his hands.

"He saw a nurse there," Emmett answered. "They talked for a while as she cared for him."

"Wait," I stopped him, holding both hands up, palms forward. I looked between the both of them as I continued. "Is this going to be some Florence Nightingale Effect-type love story? Really?"

"Shut the fuck up," Jasper hissed, springing up from his seat. He began pacing back and forth rapidly, and for a short moment, I thought that he had finally flipped his lid. "This is for real. I can't get her out of my fucking head, alright?"

I watched, entranced, at how agitated Jasper was becoming. He seemed like a man incensed as he paced back and forth. What could cause him to react that way? _You should know_, a small voice echoed in the back of my mind. _You're just as pathetic. At least he's not seeing imaginary girlfriends... _

I mentally told that damn voice to go fuck itself, then chuckled inwardly at my words, because it just seemed redundant and morbidly amusing. _I'm seriously losing it... Maybe Jasper and I could share a cell?_

"Jasper," I began, my voice softer than before. "I don't mean to play this down, alright. I'm sorry if I sounded like an asshole. I've just never seen you like this. So, you have strong feelings for this girl. Tell me about her," I hedged, hoping that my words were enough to let him know I was serious. I was the last person to be judgmental, especially about this. If he was in the same boat I was, perhaps we could offer each other some insight. Maybe we could tread through these shaky waters together. Safety in numbers, and all that.

Jasper stopped pacing, and looked at me. His face was guarded and he didn't say anything to me. I had meant what I said, but from our past dealings and discussions about women, he knew that this was new territory for me, for all of us really. We had never really done serious before. Even with Tanya, my emotions had never been so evident, so intense. And as far as I knew, Jasper had never felt so strongly about anyone before. I needed to handle this with kid-gloves, so neither of us became defensive.

"I think I can sympathize with you, better than you realize," I began again, when Jasper remained quiet. I watched him as his brow furrowed at my words. I could see him thinking about it, but he kept silent. I turned towards Emmett, hoping he could ease the stress. He always seemed to have a knack for that. But Emmett's face was emphatic, and it completely caught me off guard. I had never seen Emmett so closed off before, and I had a feeling there was more to this than I realized.

"Maybe we should go talk?" I said, my statement sounding more like a hesitant question in the end. I hadn't realized, but there were several other people in the gym glancing surreptitiously at us. I looked more closely at how we were standing, recognizing the tension in our postures. We needed a change of scenery. As if both Emmett and Jasper realized this in the next moment, their rigidity let up slightly, and they began to pack up their stuff quickly.

We made it out to our cars in record time, all agreeing to head home to finish our conversation. Ten minutes later, we were pulling up to our Riverside condominium complex. Jasper went straight to the large, stainless steel fridge, pulling out three beers and cracking them open. He handed one to Emmett and me, and despite the early hour, we guzzled them until they were gone in a matter of seconds. Emmett took our empties and went to retrieve three more. Apparently, we had no sense of propriety where alcohol and timing was concerned, at least not in that moment.

After we had taken a couple more pulls from our bottles, we all exchanged heady glances, each waiting for some one else to begin. The silence was thick with speculation, and I didn't like that I had so many questions regarding my friends. We had always shared everything, and at the risk of sounding like a bitch, it pissed me off that they'd kept something from me. I decided to bite the bullet and start the conversation back up again, but Jasper beat me to the punch.

"How did you know?" he asked me, his gaze guarded and serious.

"About your girl?" I asked, surprised. He nodded in consent. "I didn't know," I answered, shrugging my shoulders. The look on Jasper's face was disbelieving. Perhaps he thought my earlier question was in regards to his situation, and not my own. I realized in that moment, that I would have to divulge some of my own dirty laundry in order to get some answers. I didn't know why, but Jasper seemed to be very protective of his feelings for this girl, and he was incredibly hesitant to give up any more details. I decided to give, in order to receive.

"I asked you that question earlier, because I've met someone." I mentally cringed at the word 'met', because technically, it wasn't accurate. "Sort of, anyway," I added under my breath, hoping the two wouldn't catch it. I wasn't that lucky.

"What does that mean?" Emmett asked, his face still oddly blank. He didn't look like the fun-loving, free spirited Emmett that I had known for so long. He looked stoic, guarded, and, for lack of a better word, unfriendly. I thought about the answer to his question and mentally prepared myself for the ribbing I was about to endure. They weren't going to let me live this down, for sure.

"Well," I began hesitantly. Images of Bella's face flashed through my mind, and I smiled despite myself. "I have seen her a few of times, twice in the hospital. I know it's going to sound strange, but there is something about her. I just want to know more about her. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it's been awhile, you know?" Both Emmett and Jasper nodded in assent, but still held their rigid postures. I didn't understand the hostility, but I continued nonetheless.

"But I had just recently learned that she works in the ED with Carlisle. And with everything that happened with Bree, I don't know if it's a good idea...to pursue her actively. My family went through a lot, and I don't want to put my dad in that position again." I looked up from the ground; my gaze had unintentionally meandered to my feet while I explained. Jasper and Emmett didn't say anything, so I continued again.

"I was hoping to come to you two idiots for advice, but apparently, both of you have your panties in a twist. What gives?" The corner of Emmett's mouth curved into an amused smile. Jasper sighed, his posture relaxing slightly.

"Well," Jasper chuckled slightly. "Looks like all three of us are in the same predicament."

"Three?" I asked, looking over to Emmett. He smiled widely now, showing all of his perfectly white teeth.

"Yup!" he exclaimed. "I found the girl that's going to carry my little Em Jr. Damn, Edward. You've gotta see her. She is fuck hot. And that body... Damn, man." I was speechless, and slightly confused. For the next hour or so, they both relayed their stories of how they met their girls.

The day of the wreck, Emmett had to be admitted to the hospital for his injuries. There was a nurse there who was, and I quote, 'so hot it would make the devil sweat'. She had taken care of him in the ED, then check on him several times through his stay. She'd even come in on her days off to see him.

Jasper only saw his girl briefly, but there was something about her that drew him in. He knew from those few precious moments, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The intensity that was emanating from him as he spoke about her was powerful. It shocked me how he could feel so strongly, so sure about a girl he hardly knew. Part of me could understand his feelings, because they practically mirrored my own. But the logical side of me doubted that anything could be so sudden, and it would be nothing more significant than consuming lust.

After they were finished detailing their encounters, I asked them why they weren't dating these women. They explained that they were hesitant for the same reason I was. They didn't want to put Carlisle in a bad position.

"Things are going to be strained enough for your family," Jasper explained. "What, with the benefit coming up. We know how stressful that is for you, to be that close to your extended family and all. They are always so hard on you, and we didn't want the additional stress to wear on you." I argued with his logic, stating that it was ridiculous for them to hold off, just because they were worried about my stress level. Who gave a fuck? I could deal with it, especially if it made them happy.

"Plus," Emmett continued. "We both saw how much crap Carlisle went through. We could see how incredibly guilty you felt, watching your dad's job hang in the balance. Bree was a nut job, sure. But that's a lot to risk again, especially for your dad."

"Come on," I argued. "I know Carlisle would want you two to be happy. If you really feel strongly for these girls, then go for it. He would understand."

"Does that mean you are going to go for yours too?" Jasper asked me, but the look on his face told me that he already knew the answer to the question.

"No," I answered, my face changing to show my disappointment. "It's different for me. _He_ is my father, so the risk of him getting back lash for it is greater."

"Well I call bull shit on that one," Emmett argued, his tone light but his words fierce. "Either we all do it, or none of us do."

We sat and looked at each other for a minute or two, but none of us could come up with a good enough solution. We thought about asking Carlisle what he thought, because he was the one we were worried about the most. But we knew, most likely, he would tell us to ask them out, despite how much risk that put him under. He'd want us to be happy, regardless of his involvement.

In the end, we decided to put it off until after the Gala. Maybe, with the stress of that dastardly event over with, I'd be able to look at the situation more clearly. I certainly didn't need anymore pressure on me, as far as my family was concerned. And when my grandfather had learned of the last time one of my romantic interests had jeopardized a Cullen's career, he'd become even more hateful and spiteful towards me. It just added another reason to the long list of why he was disappointed in me.

So, we would wait. Hopefully, they wouldn't move on without us. The thought of that made me sick to my stomach with worry, and I excused myself to catch a quick shower.

So there I lay, on my bed almost completely naked, wondering how and when I and my two best friends had become girls. After the deep, emotional conversation today, I started to wonder if my penis had retreated into the recesses of my bowels, forming a vagina instead.

_Jeez..._

My phone beeped, indicating I had another call coming in. I looked at the caller ID and cringed.

"Hello?"

"You called," a harsh sounding voice replied.

"Well hello to you too, Grandpa," I responded, sighing at the end.

"I have told you repeatedly to call me Caius." I grinned, despite myself. My Grandfather's absolute disdain for me entertained me in an odd way. I think it was because it reminded me of how different my immediate family was from the rest of the Cullen clan, me in particular.

"I'm sorry, Caius," I corrected, the smile evident in my voice. "I called earlier to give you the final details on the benefit."

"Fax the guest list to my office," my grandfather replied shortly.

"Victoria should have it to your assistant by the end of the day," I replied, just as formally.

"Did you invite the Denali's?" he asked, not a hint of concern or emotion for my feelings. I scowled.

"I did," was my short reply.

"Good," he answered quickly and hung up the phone. I sighed, not knowing how I was going to be able to get through the benefit, knowing Tanya and her family of social misfits would be in attendance. Hopefully, after the benefit, I'd have a reason to celebrate. My thoughts turned to Bella, and smiled, optimistic once again.

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**AN: Teaser for the next chapter is on my profile. Hope you like.**

**I want to say a BIG thanks to my betas (Neliz & Hibbleton78). They have worked really hard to make this story happen, and I am eternally in their debt. **

**The reviews are great and I really appreciate the feedback. They make me keep on track with my writing schedule, even though RL pulls me in all kinds of directions. So, please...if you like, let me know :D**


	9. Chapter 8 Wax This!

**BIG thanks to Hibbleton78 for rec'ing this story out! I love it when I see others sharing my stuff, cause I work really hard to bring my best to you all. ENJOY!**

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Chapter 8 – Wax This!

Bella POV

I've come to the realization that I would probably never fully understand my friends. Nope, I think that would be an impossibility.

Their unexplainable obsession with shopping was quite aggravating at times, especially when they forced me into spending countless hours at the mall, scavenging for the perfect outfit.

I had always considered myself a girlie-girl. It was just that my two friends took that term to the extremes. And it wasn't like I didn't appreciate their fashion advice, especially for certain occasions or when I really needed to impress a guy; it was just that, when they were in their element, among the boutiques and walls donned with silk, the filter on their mouths became nonexistent.

I'd liked to think of myself as an attractive woman, with my own brand of endearing faults. Yes, I was clumsy and inelegant, but it was almost comically loving. I recognized it; I embraced it. So, why did I feel like my friends were not satisfied with my appearance or aptitude for fashion?

I would be subjected to harsh criticism and commentary as if I was a model seeking a job for some runway event. I heard things like, "No, Bella. That would look terrible with your complexion." Or, "I really don't think that you have the body for that." They'd critique every outfit I picked out, and usually re-shelved the clothing I was adamant about, despite my heavy disapproval.

And their behavior in the last week was indescribable. The amount of time that Alice and Rosalie spent shopping for the Gala was insane, not to mention choosing hair styles, shoes, and accessories. They claimed their thoroughness was in preparation for the benefit, but I believed it to be a form of distraction. Either way, it had been a complete and utter nightmare.

For the past several days, they had kept me up until the butt crack of dawn, searching relentlessly online for the 'perfect' ball gown. Rosalie's family had money, so she had decided to spend some of her inheritance on designer gowns for the three of us. I objected, of course, mostly on principal. If I couldn't afford it myself, I didn't think she should buy it for me, but my arguments fell on deaf ears. And Alice didn't seem to find any objection to Rose's offer. I was outnumbered.

They discussed accessories, hair styles, and shoes until they were blue in the face. I numbly sat by through it all, offering my halfhearted opinion when forced. I think they saw the benefit gala as an opportunity to reclaim their hearts from their absent firemen. I saw it as an opportunity to get wasted while looking pretty.

Despite my unwillingness to go 'all out' for the event, Rose and Alice forced me into appointment after appointment in preparation for that night. There were fittings for the gowns, manicures, pedicures, trial hair do's and facials. You would've thought someone was getting married, with all the damn foot work they put in. I felt like I'd been ran through the gauntlet, and the gala was a mere twenty-four hours away.

So, if I was reluctant, why did I allow myself to be tortured? Why had I let my two best friends completely take over my spare time in the week leading up to the event? Why was I sitting in this little room, waiting for a small Asian woman to come wax all the hair off my body?

I questioned myself repeatedly as I sat on the cold plastic chair, awaiting my turn to be called back into the 'torture room' early Friday morning. I blamed Alice, mostly. That little pixie could make me do anything, with her pouting and the heavy guilt trip she could dish up. But it was Rose who had woken me up that morning, tricked me into her car, and lied to me about the reason for being here. "It's just for your legs," the cunning little bitch had lied. I never should have believed her.

I twisted my fingers together nervously as I awaited my turn. My right leg was bouncing in its place relentlessly.

"Relax, Bella," Rosalie sighed beside me as she flipped through a magazine. The pages were wrinkled and torn. I saw Rose crinkle her nose as she inspected a spot where the pages where stuck together by some filmy substance; I started to question the sterility of this place.

"Are you sure you've been here before?" I asked Rosalie, trepidation in my voice.

"Agnes is the best," Rosalie nodded. "I promise; you won't feel a thing." I thought that was utter bull shit because there was no way that one small woman had mastered the art of ripping strands of hair from the most sensitive places on my body, and not have it hurt like a bitch. Did Rose think I was an idiot? Or was she really that deluded?

"Five minute," a sharp, heavily accented voice called from the back rooms. Rosalie turned to me and sighed.

"That's the warning," Rosalie said, handing me a silver flask she'd pulled from her purse. "Drink this."

"Warning?" I asked, anxious with widened eyes. It felt like the five minutes before the firing squad. My hair follicles were screaming in protest. My who-ha was wondering what it'd ever done to deserve this. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"It just means that your appointment will start in five minutes. Drink, Bella. Drink." She motioned for me to pour the contents in my mouth. I would've asked what it was, but knowing Rose, she wouldn't have answered me anyway.

Reluctantly, I twisted the cap on the flask, and poured the contents into my gullet, hoping it was some magic potion that would fast-forward me through the torture. Maybe I would black out? Either one, I didn't care which.

The liquid was thick, and it burned my throat something fierce. I spluttered a little bit, coughing and choking the contents down. I willed them to stay in my stomach as I felt it mixing with the bile, causing my abdomen to lurch and undulate under the onslaught.

"What the hell is that stuff?" I grunted through tears and coughs. Rosalie chuckled smoothly. She glanced around us surreptitiously, before she answered.

"It's moonshine, Bella." Rosalie's family was from the south, a collection of white trash entrepreneurs who'd made a quick buck in the oil mining industry. Their future generations had benefited from their streak of good luck, Rosalie being one of those fortunate heirs.

"What?" I asked, panic in my voice. I had never been the type of girl to handle strong liquor well, especially stuff that was 150 proof. If I had known what it was, I wouldn't have drank that much. I could feel my head starting to feel a little light.

"Don't worry," Rosalie answered my worried expression. "It will take the edge off the pain."

"It's nine thirty in the morning, Rose," I cried, feeling guilty for breaking etiquette and getting blitzed first thing in the morning. "And what pain? I thought you said I wouldn't feel a thing."

"You won't," Rose answered, shrugging her shoulders as she turned back to her magazine. "Well, not that you will remember, anyways."

I sighed, frustrated.

"I don't understand why I'm doing this, Rose," I hissed under my breath, not bothering to hide the unbridled anger in my tone. "It's not like I have any use for it. Not now, anyways."

Rosalie scoffed at that, rolled her eyes, and looked at me pointedly.

"I don't," I argued, my expression turning defensive. Did she think that I had someone on the side? I couldn't get my 'Green Eyes' out of my head long enough to think of anyone else, let alone the fact that all I did lately was work, sleep, and visit Nikki. Why would I need to be fully waxed? It was pointless.

"Bella," Rosalie started, her tone chiding in nature. "I know that you don't have a current boy toy; I live with you, remember? But what if you find someone hot at the ball? I just want to make sure you are prepared." I rolled my eyes dramatically and opened my mouth to protest, but Rosalie's petulant voice cut me off. "Even if you can't snag a man at the ball, at least you can enjoy yourself better under the sheets." I paused from my retort, my mouth halfway open while my cheeks heated at her statement. Did it really make that better? She chuckled slightly and nodded, seeming to acknowledge my silent musing.

"Okaaaay, next one pwease," a small woman called from the hallway. I assumed she was Agnes, aka the Bringer of Pain. I cringed, then shot one more mouthful of moonshine into my mouth for good measure.

I turned to look at Rose, hoping I'd see sympathy in her face; that she'd take pity on me and get me the hell out of there. But she completely ignored me, just buried her face deeper into the article she was reading, oblivious to my torment. And that, I recognized then, was the reason Rose was the one who brought me here,\ instead of Alice. Although my smallest friend was a stickler for the details, she never would've left me for the wolves, uncaring. Unlike my hard as ice best friend, Rosalie.

I turned and walked down the dark hallway of the salon, only flickering sconces along the walls offering the barest of light. There was a soft tinkling of music coming from hidden speakers in the ceiling, and the sound of water spilling down a wall-based waterfall situated at the end of the corridor. The atmosphere was supposed to be relaxing. However, in that moment, I couldn't help but feel mildly afraid. It was like I was walking down the green mile, or some shit like that. I wasn't relaxed, I was nervous as hell.

The small woman, probably just under five feet in height, led me into a purple painted room at the end of the hall. There were silken tapestries on the wall, with a few orchid plants sitting on small round accent tables. Several paintings of orchids and Chinese characters hung on the walls. But my attention was focused on the flat, rectangular table in the middle of the room. It seemed to be illuminated on its own, like a spot light was hanging over it, negating the ambiance of the room; its main focus was the table where a barbaric modern custom was preformed brutally.

_Lord, help me..._

"Get naked," the older woman stated bluntly, handing me a plush white robe.

"W-w-what?" I stammered.

"Take off clothes," Agnes instructed, then pointed to the table in the center of the room. She exited the room quickly, shutting the large wooden door with a subtle click.

I stripped, my hands shaking slightly. While I undressed, I began to chide myself; _why am I being such a baby about this? Many women have had this done, and come back again and again. Buck up, Swan..._

"You ready?" Agnes asked as she walked into the room, making me jump slightly.

"Mmmhmm," I replied, unable to formulate words.

The next several minutes were a blur. I remembered lying down on the table, exposing my legs first for waxing. It didn't hurt too badly, more like an Indian burn. The skin there was already toughened through years of shaving. The next part was slightly more painful, as Agnus shaped my eyebrows per Rosalie's instructions.

Before I knew it, I felt myself being prepped for a Brazilian waxing, my perianal area bared for all to see. At that moment, I realized that I should feel a twinge of embarrassment at the fact that I was exposed to a woman I'd never even properly been introduced to. But all I could concentrate on was the fact that I was going to be subjected to extreme pain at the hands of this woman. It was then that I realized that the moonshine didn't do a damn thing to calm my nerves. Instead, it moved and undulated in my stomach, making me slightly nauseous.

_Damn it, Rosalie. All I need now is to aspirate on moonshine. Perfect..._

"Okay, take deep breath and..." Agnes said hurriedly. Before I could interpret her instructions, I heard the horrible ripping sound as the little woman yanked off a wax-coated strip that had once been pressed against the skin on my inner pelvis. Momentarily, I was frozen in shock. It took a split second for the pain to settle in, and suddenly, I heard myself screaming.

"Oh my god in heaven, that freaking stings!" I cried; it felt like tiny pins being inserted into my skin, directly into the small holes that had once housed my hair. I began cursing explosively as Agnes place the same strip back onto another section of my private area. I heard her chuckling, and in the back of my mind, I knew I probably should have been pissed at the fact she was finding humor in torturing me, but at the time, all I could focus on was the pain. I gritted my teeth in preparation for the next wave of agony.

_It's gunna be a hot time down in Who-ville tonight!_

I thought I heard her murmur something about 'you look like Chia pet', but it didn't really register in my brain until later. By that time, she moved on to another strip. Images of Steve Carell flashed through my mind as Agnes continued her work, of him lying on a waxing table while he underwent the same excruciating ritual I was currently being subjected to. I think I might have even screamed 'Kelly Clarkson', at one point, because I heard Agnes say, "Oh, 40-year-old Virgin! I love dat movie."

It felt like hours had passed by as Agnes stripped me clean. My vision was blurred from the tears pooling in my eyes. Mostly they were due to the pain, but underneath it all, I couldn't help but feel a little of the frustrations, anger, and embarrassment at allowing myself to be trapped into this situation by my supposed friends.

"All done," Agnes sang. I blinked the moisture from my eyes, hope framing my face that it was really all over. Agnes laughed at my expression as she handed me a balm, instructing me to coat my skin with it. She turned to me, offering me a warm smile as she said, "I see you next time, k?"

Never again, I silently proclaimed.

Rosalie was waiting for me in the front of the shop, a wry smile on her face. I was walking out to her a little slowly, by legs bowed out and discomfort evident on my face. Rose laughed.

"Shut up," I grumbled, turning to the cash register to pay the woman who had made me walk like a horseback rider.

"No," Rosalie stilled my hand as I reached for my wallet. "This is on me and Alice."

"Whatever," I mumbled. I was in no mood to argue; my head started to feel a little fuzzy, probably because the moonshine had decided that was the moment it would kick in.

_Perfect..._

"You maweed? The small woman who'd just given me the most painful experience of my life asked me. I furrowed my brow in concentration. I'd always had a hard time understanding people with thick foreign accents. Call me white girl, stupid American, or what have you, but for the life of me, I could not understand a thing the woman was saying. So I politely raised my eyebrows, the universal sign of confusion, and said her, "Excuse me?"

"You maweed?" I looked to Rose on my left in hopes that she'd have some clarification to what the poor woman was trying to say, but she looked just as confused as I felt. Again, I looked to the little woman, my eyebrows making their trek up to my hairline. The old woman just rolled her eyes and began to enunciate as best she could.

"You maweed. Ma-weed? Ma-weed?" Both Rose and I started mumbling the words with the poor woman, trying to make the phonic sounds she was trying to speak become recognizable to us; our eyes were fixated to her crinkled, dry lips as her mouth formed the word, 'ma-weed' over and over again. Maybe it was the fact that I was slightly buzzed from the moonshine, but I started to find the entire situation incredibly entertaining.

"Married?" Rose asked after several mumblings and wrong guesses.

"Yes!" The woman proclaimed, rolling her eyes as if we were idiots or incredibly slow as we clapped our hands and bounced a little. We were a totally ecstatic that we'd guessed right, like we were on some foreign game show or something.

"Oh," I answered apologetically, humor in my voice. "I'm sorry. No, I'm not married." The old woman smiled softly, nodding her head softly like it was something to pity.

_That's right. Pour your lemon juice right into my wound. Bella Swan is not married. _

"You have boifwen?" she asked quickly. Again, I sat there silent, not understanding what she was saying. Fortunately, the old woman began her pronunciation game once again, taking pity on us uncultured American girls.

"Boifwen, boifwen, boifwen!" she said in rapid succession. Rose and I both exchanged blank looks as the woman rolled her eyes and let out a large sigh.

"Boiiiii---fwend," she said slowly, her dried lips stretching so far to make the proper 'American' sounds that I'd thought her poor lip would crack in half from the strain of it.

"Boyfriend?" Rose asked her. The woman sighed and shook her head yes and Rose and I gave each other sly high-fives for guessing another one right. We were getting good at this.

"No, we don't have boyfriends," I answered her sweetly.

"Not currently, anyway," Rose added under her breath. I nudged her quickly with my arm, not wanting to talk about our pathetic love lives at the moment. The woman nodded, understandingly.

"Fuck budeee?" the small, very old, very nosy woman blurted out. Now, the funny thing was that while we were having a hell of a time understanding common words coming from her mouth, the word 'fuck' was pronounced perfectly, so much so that Rose and I both looked at each other, then doubled over in hysterics. Something was completely hilarious about this poor, sweet, not-so-innocent old lady saying the word 'fuck' with all the proper articulation and fortitude of an old American biker.

"Sure," Rose answered her through her chuckles. We were both leaning into each other as we were trying to keep our mirth at bay. "We have fuck buddies. Why do you wanna know?" I inwardly cringed at Rose's harshness to the lady, I was sure she just wanted to hook us up with her grandson or something. But the next couple things out of the lady's mouth shocked me silent.

"Here, try dis," she said, handing us small rectangle shaped objects that kinda reminded me of PEZ candy.

"What are these?" Rose asked, staring at the small, pink tinged object in her palm.

"Day suga cubes," she answered quickly. "You shove dem up you wagina and it make you juices taste wike fucking candy."

"Excuse me?" I said, dropping the little square like it'd magically turned into a giant cockroach.

"Come again," Rose asked with one eyebrow quirked, disbelievingly.

"You twy it," the old woman answered, nodding her head vehemently and shooing her hands towards my dropped candy bit. "It give da men good time in happy w-and."

"Huh," Rose muttered as she examined the little rectangle more closely. "Mmmm," she mused. Then she started smelling it curiously. I had to excuse my self from the room as her little tongue darted out quickly to taste it. That was where I drew the line. There was something wrong about seeing my straight best friend taste a piece of candy that is meant to be shoved up someone's v-jajay to 'make you juices taste wike fucking candy.' I mentally cringed.

I waited for Rose outside the little shop, tapping my foot impatiently on the curb. She finally came out of the shop, and I saw her stash a small plastic bag into her purse discretely. I raised an eyebrow to her.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"I can't believe you'd try that," I answered, incredulous. "Just because some old Asian lady told you to try it doesn't mean you should. What if it gives you some kind of disease or something? What if you get gangrene down there?" Rose scoffed.

"You know you're gunna be begging me for one later, after you bag a hot stud at the Gala. You'll be knocking at my door, 'please Rosie, I need to make my juices taste like candy. Please, can I have a little Asian suga square?'" she sang in piss-poor interpretation of my voice. I rolled my eyes at her and snorted as we both climbed into Rose's BMW.

"I am not interested in sticking any foreign object up my who-ha. No thank you," I retorted, grabbing on the 'oh shit' handle by the window as Rosalie's lead foot slammed down on the gas pedal.

"Eww, Bella. Don't say who-ha. It makes it sound ugly."

"It _is_ ugly."

"Yours might be," Rosalie scoffed as she merged onto the freeway. "Mine is a delicate flower. Soft, beautiful, and ripe for the picking."

"Sure it is," I mumbled, tightening my grip as were almost collided with an oncoming car. Rosalie had absolutely no regard for traffic laws or common courtesy for other drivers. The rapid movements of the car were making my nausea peak again.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We are meeting Alice at Nancy Meyer," she replied, bracing herself for my evident objection.

"Rose," I argued. "I can't afford that crap."

"It's not crap, Bella. It's quality lingerie."

"That I have no one to wear for," I reminded her bitterly.

"How many times have I told you that it doesn't matter if you wear it only for yourself? It's about how it makes you feel."

"There is no reason why a twenty dollar pair of underwear can't make me feel as great as a hundred dollar pair," I reasoned.

"Isabella Marie," Rosalie cried. "You are not wearing cheap underwear underneath a designer dress. I will not allow it!"

"Snobbish much?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow in defiance.

"Prudish much?" she retorted.

"That's not what this is about," I argued. "I can't, in good faith, allow you to buy me expensive underwear based on principle. I don't care how good it makes me feel, my undergarments is where I draw the line."

"We'll see," Rosalie sighed.

Fifteen minutes later, and an excruciating headache in tow, we pulled up in front and Nancy Meyer's Fine Lingerie. Alice was hidden somewhere in the middle of the store, fist filled with barely there panties and garter belts.

"Hey girls," Alice called, immediately cringing as she took in my pained expression. "Rosalie, I told you not to give her the moonshine," Alice chided, correctly guessing at the cause of my distress.

"I thought it'd help," Rosalie replied as she dug through the shelves of ridiculously expensive underwear, her expression unrepentant.

"How it go?" Alice asked, trepidation on her face. I looked at her pointedly, my angry expression enough response for now. Alice dropped it after that.

We spent the next couple of hours searching for the 'perfect' set of undergarments to compliment our evening gowns. I wasn't really an active participant, though; I couldn't help my mind from wandering. Among the aisles covered in suggestive panties, my mind traveled to my 'Green Eyes'.

I had hoped in the last several weeks that I'd see him again, but he remained to be elusive as always. To my knowledge, he hadn't stepped foot inside the hospital again to visit Nikki. I had started to become a little panicked, because Nikki was being discharged the following Monday.

She'd responded well to the course of intravenous Vancomycin that the doctors had started in order to combat her respiratory infection. Within a week, her complexion had looked better and her fever was nonexistent. Her chest x-rays began to clear and her energy had improved tenfold.

With her discharge so evident on the horizon, I was feeling a sense of loss. Not only for the fact that my little angel wouldn't be near my place of employment, but the fact that she'd been a commonality between me and my 'Green Eyes'. I had never found out the reason for his visit to her; I thought maybe he was a distant relative or something. I tried to buck up enough courage to ask Jessica about him, but I didn't want to seem desperate or nosy. So I went on believing that perhaps I'd see him again on my many trips to check on Nikki's status, but to no avail.

"Thanks again, Embry," Alice's tinkling voice broke through my reverie. "Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Yes, we'll have a car come pick you guys up promptly at seven. No problem, bye." She clicked the cell phone off and looked up to find me and Rose staring at her questioningly.

"I guess you're not going stag, huh?" Rosalie asked, mild incredulity in her voice.

"Nope," Alice answered, popping the 'P' in the end. "Neither are you two." Rose and I exchanged questioning glances.

"Come again," Rosalie replied.

"I am going with Embry, Bella with Jake, and Sam is escorting your fine ass to the Gala," Alice answered, her tone laced with finality. It was a tone she used when she knew we'd argue against her. But to my frustration, Rosalie smiled in contentment.

"Well," she smiled. "That's sounds like a good idea." I knew her sudden change of heart, was the fact that it was Sam who was taking her. We had all met in college, us and the Quileute boys. Jacob's father was best friends with my dad. It just so happened that he was in my Profiling Violence class I had to take as part of my Senior requirements. Jake and the others were Criminal Justice majors, planning to join the Seattle Police Department after they graduated. He had recognized the last name immediately, but according to him, didn't officially know who I was until he'd met my brown eyes. He said that I was the spitting image of Charlie, and we'd been friends ever since.

The reason for Rosalie's excitement was that Sam was one of her longtime personal acquaintances. They'd gone out in college, but found that the only thing that kept them together, was the (and I quote) 'fuck hawt sex'. They had lost touch over the last year or so, because he was stationed across the city, but rumor had it he was moving closer to us, and I think Rose found the opportunity to put Johnny to rest for the night, exciting.

"Hey, whatever happened to meeting Mr. Right?" I argued. "I thought we were making this a girls' night out?"

"We all need to have fun," Alice replied. "Without worrying about anything else. It will be great, trust me."

I sighed, and nodded in agreement. I felt the anticipation for the night creep into my skin. I had a weird feeling that this night would be important for me, like a right of passage or something to that effect. I hadn't ever felt excitement over something like that in a long time, and I finally felt myself let go off all my anxiety about it.

Tomorrow will be a night for Ms. Bella Swan to shine.

* * *

**AN: Just some light-hearted fun before the Gala, which will be next. So, do you think the boys are showing up stag? If not, who are they bringing? Should be a fun night!**

**Teaser for the next chapter is linked to my profile. Check it out!**

**Leave your comments/reviews, please. They truly make me write faster....I like to please :D**


	10. Chapter 9 The Gala

Chapter 9 - The Gala

~ Bella ~

I'd never looked at myself as a particularly beautiful woman. My plain brown hair and equally dull brown eyes, on top of a lanky frame, didn't give me much to work with. When I was younger, I felt like my appearance was uninteresting and dreary. I had developed some kind of Plain Jane complex, thinking that I was unworthy of attention from the proverbial boy-next-door. I was content with being ignored by the male gender, and looking back, I think I might have encouraged that behavior.

I was never the one to dress myself up, trying to look cute in the latest fashion trends. It just wasn't me. When I'd met Alice that first time, freshman year in college, she'd taken me under her fashion wing, offering her assistance to pick out my new 'big girl' wardrobe. She taught me how to dress up my hair and accentuate my eyes, picking clothing that fit my slim figure perfectly. I was no longer boring; I was alluring, mysterious.

For the next four years of college, Rose, Alice, and I were inseparable. We bonded over girl-talk, gossiping and sharing each others' fears and dreams for the future. We were there for each other through breakups and heartache; we came to love one another as we learned how to cope with growing up. I found that they were two of the fiercest, most loyal friends I could ever hope to have.

Rose and Alice had their commonality for fashion and pampering that had initially inspired their friendship. I was more like the homely but quintessential glue that held us together. Sure, in the early days I tried to fit in with their fashion thing. The shopping trips during those days were few and far between, mostly for financial reasons. Rose had money, but Alice and I were struggling college students who'd rather eat than look cute in designer jeans. But once we hit the working world, Seattle's shopping district didn't know what had hit it. And I enjoyed it, for the most part. But eventually, after the hours I'd spent with Rosalie and Alice's relentless commentary on how I should play up my look, I got sick of the superficiality of it and forwent my shopping license. I would still attempt to put my best foot forward as far as my appearance was concerned; I just didn't dwell on it as much as Alice and Rose did. Some people would call it a regression, but I saw my fashion retirement as being more true to who I was: a pathetic, hopeless romantic, perfectly content to live life from the sidelines and out of the spotlight.

I blamed my childhood, mostly. My parents fought most of the time, practically over everything. My mother blamed the demise of their marriage on the fact that my father was so introverted. He liked to spend most of his free time alone, either fishing or watching some sport event on TV. She'd complain about how he loved the fishing holes more than her, arguing that there were seven types of trout that knew her better than my father. My mother reached her breaking point and the marriage ended on bad terms.

The thing of it was, I always looked back on those times as the best in my life. My father never ignored me; he would always try to find something for us to do together. He made our relationship unique and memorable because of the little things he did. Maybe that was why my mother, Renee, resented the relationship I had with my father. But looking back at it now, I remembered seeing my father trying to make her feel special. It was in the little things: flowers freshly picked from the wild grove, her favorite peanut butter pancakes on Sunday morning, singing their song to her whenever she'd walk into a room... It was in the little things he'd seek her heart, not in the gratuitous grand gestures. Maybe that was his downfall. Maybe he was too idealistic, a believer of undying love.

I guessed I was a lot like Charlie: a subtle romantic, a dreamer. When I was young, I was too consumed with music and books to see the outside world clearly. In my stories, the heroine always seemed to be like me, imaginative and self-dependent. It was those attributes that attracted their love's interests, made them to be endearing and unforgettable. Even in the songs I listened to the lyrics spoke of fighting for love against all costs, like it was the driving force of life.

Perhaps those concepts stunted my emotional growth; maybe I was stuck in an immature reality where everything was rose colored and fit perfectly into a box labeled 'Eternal Love'. I was always under the impression that nothing was worth fighting for unless it fought for you just as hard, so I never tried to attract the opposite sex using unnatural looking makeup and clothes that didn't reflect my personality. I never thought superficiality was genuine. And artificial things attracted insincere men, or so I thought. There was a lesson to be learned in that reflection, especially with current predicaments considered.

I thought it was time for a change; maybe my previous beliefs were flawed. After all, I had stared my ideal fantasy man in the face...twice...and he wasn't fighting for me. He hadn't paused to discover who I was. He hadn't declared his undying love or asked for my father's permission to court me. That's what happened in my books; those were the things men did to win a fair maiden's hand.

Truth; it seemed to be easier to decipher than all those complex love songs and romance novels. Reality was that love didn't happen like it did in the books. Reality was that I was not going to get my happy ending unless I wanted it badly enough. Reality was...that if I didn't fight for it, it sure the hell wasn't going to fight for me.

Was I ready, though? Was I ready to take the proverbial cock by the balls, as Rosalie had put it? Was I ready to go after what I wanted in life? To make my happy ending myself? Was I ready to fight for my 'Green Eyes'? Or to tell him to fuck off when he wasn't interested and find someone better?

I would have thought so that night, the one of the Gala. But now...in reflection...I'm not sure I could have prepared myself for what reality turned out to be.

But I'd been confident. A new found belief in myself and who I had grown up to be; I wasn't going to be that naive little girl anymore. If I wanted my happily ever after, I needed to chase it, capture it, and never let it go.

So that's what I was going to do, starting with the Gala. Tonight, I wanted nothing more than to look drop dead gorgeous. I wanted to let it be known that Bella Swan was a hot commodity. I wanted to not only look my best, but feel my best.

I'd spent the majority of the day talking myself into my current attitude, self-assured and ready to face the world. Alice and Rose had helped me pull my dress over my head, careful not to mess up the one hundred and fifty dollar hair-do they insisted went perfectly with my gown. My makeup had been done flawlessly, adding to my souped up self esteem.

Rose and Alice had long ago retreated into their own rooms, giving themselves the finishing touches that made them the fantastical beauties they were. I had stood stalk still for over twenty minutes, repeating my mantra to myself in my mind.

_I am a beautiful and confident woman. I deserve nothing but the best._

I stood in front of my full length mirror in my bedroom, looking at the image reflecting back at me. It was something I had done time and time again. As a teenager, I felt the image staring back at me was awkward and too skinny. Now, I seemed to have grown from that gangly little girl, changed into something unique and worthwhile.

The black gown I had on was form fitting, with a deep 'V' plunging neck line. The small amount of cleavage I had on display was subtle, appropriate for mixed company but just enough to be elegantly provocative. My hair was a cascade of curls and swept to the side, caught together at the base of my neck. Rosalie insisted that I wore her diamond dangled earrings and diamond encrusted cuff. I tried to object, but they really made the look. The back of my dress was also cut low, allowing a large expanse of my back to be bare. I always thought my back was my best feature. I didn't have any of that "back fat" or whatever it was called. I had my mother's posture, tall and lean, just like a prima ballerina. It made my back look thin, toned.

But as I looked into the mirror, assessing my appearance for my big night out, I noticed that it wasn't my body that had the most significant change. No, not in the slightest; it was my face that held the most difference from that little girl. She was unsure; I was poised. She was plain and boring; I was enticing and sexy as hell.

My eyes were shadowed and smoky, and my lashes were thick and black. My lips were painted a deep rose color, full and pouty. My complexion was clear, giving my skin the look of porcelain. I was beautiful, and I was eager to start the night.

_I am ready, _I declared to myself. _No more doubt. No more insecurity. My new life starts tonight!_

I mustered up as much inner strength as I could, and made my way out into the hallway where my date awaited me.

"Hey Jake," I smiled widely, taking the first few steps of the staircase carefully in my four-inch stilettos. I wasn't simple enough to think my new found confidence made me any less accident prone.

Jake turned to greet me, and his mouth froze in a half open, drooling kind of stare as he took in my appearance. I giggled and smiled widely.

Jake was a good looking man, lean and well muscled. But every time I saw him, a little glimpse of my father would come back to me. Not because Jake resembled him in anyway; far from it. Jake was over six feet in height, with the brown russet skin and a strong jaw he'd inherited from his ancestors. It was just that Jake's presence felt like home. And it was good to have someone close who had been important to my father, especially in his last days. I had always regretted being away from my father when he had needed me the most, but the fact that Jake and his dad, Billy, were there brought me comfort. And with Jake, a familiarity developed between the both of us. More than friends, more than comrades, Jake and I were soul mates, bonded together through heartache and family.

"Hey, Bells," Jake replied once he'd broken from his pheromone induced trance. "Damn, sweetheart. You look like a million bucks."

I blushed heavily at the compliment, but tried to keep the shyness off my face. Tonight was about the New Bella; the confident, radiant Bella. She didn't get embarrassed over compliments. She took them in stride.

"Thanks, Jake," I replied. "And you're probably close to the amount. I've got so much money dripping off of me I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house without an armed bodyguard."

"Well, luckily you have one tonight," Jake answered, offering his elbow as he helped me down the last couple of steps into the entry way. Sam and Embry were waiting in the sitting area, both looking incredibly sharp in their black tuxedos. They both stood quickly when they saw me, offering compliments and generous appraisals of my appearance.

"Where are the girls?" Embry asked, kissing my cheek lightly in greeting. He had to bend down pretty low; he was almost as tall as Jake.

"They should be down soon," I replied, chuckling softly as Sam nibbled on my ear jokingly as a way of greeting. He'd always been a big flirt. "You know how they can get," I clarified; both Embry and Sam nodded in agreement.

"Well, it takes a long time to create sex on legs," Rosalie's voice chimed from the top of the stairs. She made her way down slowly, swinging her hips from side to side seductively, knowing damn well that Sam was eating up her appearance like she was some kind of delicate dessert. She looked at him with just as much gusto. The sexual tension in the room shot into overdrive.

"Damn," Sam growled, letting out a whistle for emphasis. "Ro, you look smoking." And she did look amazing. In true Rosalie fashion, her hair was down in large curls, giving her that perfect sex-hair that was her signature. Her dress was long, black, and form fitting. But the part that made it unique was that it had a rope of crystal enlaced ribbon that garnished the dress perfectly. It criss-crossed over her breasts, then gathered in the back, forming the bands that held the dress to her body. The bands gathered on her back, right in the middle, leaving an ample amount of flesh in view. Rosalie turned in a slow circle when she'd finished her descent, making sure she gave Sam a generous view of her backside.

Sam clenched his heart dramatically, feigning cardiac arrest at the sight of her beauty. I giggled a little at his dramatics. He was always a little over-the-top, but entertaining nevertheless. Rosalie swatted his chest playfully, and leaned in to peck his cheek sweetly. Sam tilted his head in further, whispering something into her ear. I turned away; knowing him, it was probably something very suggestive, and I didn't need mental images plaguing my thoughts throughout the evening. It was obvious that Rosalie seemed to eat up Sam's attention, but something always gave me the creeps when I thought about the two of them together; like it was unnatural or something, I couldn't put my finger on it.

A loud wolf-whistle pulled me out of my reverie. I turned to see Alice gliding down the stairs amongst the boys' heavy approval. She looked like a 1920's movie starlet. Her otherwise spiky hairdo was tamed into waves that clung to her head, creating a short, side-swept bob. Her dress was white with black lace trimmed over the entire length. It was form fitting and strapless. There were two black ribbons that accentuated the bodice of it. To add to the look, she had a pair of elbow length, black silk gloves. She was a timeless beauty, one that didn't appear too often nowadays.

Embry held out his hand like a true gentleman, offering her assistance down the last couple steps. Alice smiled softly when Embry took that hand and placed a soft kiss on top of it.

I looked at my two best friends, taking in their innate beauty. The biggest thing that I noticed was how the three men in the room reacted. They were practically drooling all over themselves at the sight of them. I started feeling self-conscious, realizing that their reaction to me was a bit stunted in comparison. I stopped those feeling quickly, trying to engage them all in a conversation.

"Did the limo find your house alright?" I asked in general. Jake nodded in reply. Sam was too engrossed in Rosalie to notice anything else.

"He was right on time, Bells," Embry answered. "It was cool of you guys to get a limo for tonight."

"It wasn't our idea, believe me," I clarified. "Dr. Cullen's wife insisted once she knew that we'd accepted her invitation."

"Cullen?" Jake asked, surprised. There was an undertone to his voice that I couldn't quite decipher. I looked at him and nodded. I watched curiously as he shared a loaded glance with Sam and Embry.

"This is the benefit for the American Heart Association that the Cullen's plan every year," I clarified, watching Jake's face intently. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing," Jake answered, not meeting my curious gaze.

We had a couple glasses of champagne as we waited for our driver to return. When the limo arrived at eight, the girls and I rechecked our makeup in the downstairs powder room before we headed out for the night.

The beginning of the evening was a blur. I remembered pulling up to the Bell Harbor Conference Center. The benefit was to be held in the illustrious Harbor Bay Dining Hall. We quickly exited our limo and walked into the lobby. We shuffled in after a large crowd to find the room had been transformed into a posh setting, trimmed with white lights and adorned with candles and red roses. The American Heart Association banner hung from behind a stage, lit up with spotlights and trimmed in red, black, and white sashes. The western wall was framed by floor to ceiling windows, offering a terrific view of the harbor and city lights.

The theme of the night was the AHA Black and White Gala, so most of the men were dressed in freshly pressed tuxedos donned with white roses. The women wore various black and white mixed gowns; their hair pinned to emphasize their diamond-laced necks. I recognized some of Seattle's most elite socialites and political figures. There was so much money in the room, I felt slightly intimidated by all the glitz and glamour.

"Wow," Jake gasped as we walked into the main banquet hall. "Those Cullen's sure know how to dress a joint up, don't they?" I nodded in agreement, unable to comment any further. "Hey, I think I see my old partner from Squad seven. I'll be right back." I was standing by the entrance, still admiring the setting when Jake had taken off. Before I could process what he said, he was gone. I sighed, looking around for my friends. I didn't see any of them, but in the middle of the room, I saw Esme and Dr. Cullen greeting their guests with heavy handshakes. I made my way over to them to properly thank them for the invitation.

"Bella," Esme cried, seeing me approaching from several feet away. "My goodness darling, you look amazing," she said, giving me a soft hug and kisses on both of my cheeks. I smiled broadly.

"Thank you," I murmured, smoothing my hands timidly down my dress. I stopped myself quickly, reminding myself of my confidence. I laced my fingers together instead. "You as well, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme Cullen's gown was a tight bodice with ruffles of silk gathered at her legs. She wore simple black pearl and diamond earrings, and her hair was piled into an intricate bun of elegant curls. She was the model of sophistication and grace. Her beauty was classic, like Grace Kelly or Ginger Rogers.

"Sweetheart, I love you to bits. But if you don't start calling me Esme, I might just have to hurt you," she said jokingly. I laughed in earnest, then bowed my head slightly as I spoke.

"My apologies, Esme." She laughed kindheartedly, gaining the attention of her distinguished husband. He smiled grandly when he recognized me, and I blushed in return. It was a well-known fact that Dr. Cullen was Harborview's version of Dr. McSteamy. He was incredibly good looking and gained the attention of many female nurses and colleagues. But tonight, Dr. Cullen looked like the epitome of a well-groomed gentleman. His tuxedo was tailored to fit him perfectly, and he carried himself with the dignity and poise of royalty.

"Ms. Swan, you look breathtaking," Dr. Cullen said sweetly, taking my hand and placing a kiss right above my knuckles. My blush deepened as I thanked him for the compliment.

"This place looks amazing," I said, once again taking in the ambiance of it.

"Oh thank you, dear," Esme answered. "But my son, Edward, deserves most of the credit. He worked so hard to make this year's event perfect."

I furrowed my brow, confused. "I didn't know you had a son," I inquired. The Cullen's both looked so young; I assumed that they were going to be one of those couples that waited until their late 30's to start having a family. I didn't think they were old enough to have children my age, or slightly younger for that matter.

Esme nodded, "Well, it's a long story, but Edward is like my son. We've had him since he was nine years old."

"Oh really," I said, raising my eyebrows curiously.

"It's a bit of Cullen drama that we don't talk about often, especially with the eldest Cullen's present," she said covertly, pausing to look around surreptitiously. "Edward's parents died when he was very young, and we took him shortly after." I saw the sadness in Esme's eyes as she spoke of Edward's tragic past, and my emotion swelled at her heartache. I hadn't met Edward, but I could sympathize with his loss intimately.

"Oh, there he is now," Esme said quickly, her face lighting up as she saw her son from afar. "Edward," she called, gesturing for him to come to her. I turned to greet him and froze, my eyes widening at the sight.

Walking towards us in an insanely gorgeous tuxedo was my 'Green Eyes'. Could my fantasy man turn out to be Dr. Cullen's son? I couldn't begin to decipher the implications of what that fact would mean. Nevertheless, this was the opportunity I'd hoped for. I felt a mixture of excitement and intense nervousness as Edward came closer. My heart rate shot up and my palms began to sweat. I fought my automatic reaction to him, hoping to stay calm and collected.

_This is your chance, Swan. Don't blow it. Cock by the balls, remember?_

He hadn't seen me properly yet, his eyes were fixed on Esme. He walked towards us and leaned in to kiss his mother on the cheek. As he passes, a wave of his scent encased me. He smelt incredible, like a mix of sandalwood, cinnamon, and man. I took the brief opportunity to take him in completely; he was incredibly sexy in a James Bond kind of way. The tux he had on was made for his body, hugging his slim waist line and expanding for his broad shoulders and chest. His hair was his usual untamed mess of bronze and brown. He was sex personified, and my heart had a couple palpitations at the sight.

"Mom," he greeted her. "You look breathtaking as always. Dad, good to see you too." I looked up quickly to catch a sly grin on Dr. Cullen's face directed towards me; it seemed he didn't miss my obvious appraisal of his son.

_Great..._

Dr. Cullen grasped his son's hand firmly, then patted him on his back in a kind of half hug gesture.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet someone," Esme smiled. He turned to look at me and his eyes widened slightly. It seemed he recognized me; probably thought I was some type of stalker or something, I couldn't tell. His initial response to me seemed to be genuinely surprised, but pleasantly? I didn't know.

"This is Bella Swan," Esme said warmly, gesturing to me as she made her introductions. "She's a nurse in the ED with your dad." I wasn't sure how he would receive me, but I rolled back my shoulders and confidently held out my hand in polite greeting. He didn't take it at first; he just kept staring at me like I was some kind of ghost or something. I started feeling a little silly with my hand held out in mid air, but as soon as I started to lower it in retreat, Edward grabbed my hand in his.

"Hi," he said softly, then coughed slightly to clear his throat. "I'm Edward," he said more clearly, his voice like velvet. He slowly raised my hand to his mouth, placing his soft lips between my knuckles. I had to fight off hyperventilation at the thought of his lips touching me. It had been the core of all my nightly fantasies, having his lips on my skin. I'd imagined it time and time again. But nothing could've prepared me for the magic of it. His mouth was warm and sensual, causing my heart to accelerate to a new level. I had to fight my eyes from rolling into the back of my head at the sensation. As it was, I felt the heat raise to my neck and my legs buckled slightly.

"Bella," I breathed in response.

"Hmm, beautiful in name and vision; fitting," he responded. I blushed and let out a nervous chuckle. I met his gaze as confidently as I could, but as the seconds ticked by, I became lost in his emerald orbs. I didn't know how much time had passed, but his eyes were staring just as intently into mine. I started to become slightly self-conscious under his gaze, that I nervously pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. His gaze shifted from my eyes, to my lips. As he watched me worry my bottom lip, his expression shifted from appraising, to dark, mysterious.

A heavy cough from somewhere around us shocked me out of my trance, and I looked to find Esme smiling widely. I chanced a glance at Edward; he seemed to be a little taken aback, running his hand through his unruly bronze hair.

"But, Esme, love, Edward already knows Bella," Carlisle clarified. At first I was slightly confused; I hadn't met Dr. Cullen's son before, not officially anyways, at least that I could recall. Then my eyes widened as large as saucers as I recalled the conversation in the break room that the good doctor had overheard a couple of weeks ago, the one where Rose and Alice had mortified me with their interpretation of my nightly fantasies of the man standing before me. Had he heard my description of Edward and assumed that was who I was talking about? Had he figured out that my fantasy man was none other than his son?

_Oh God..._

My face heated in embarrassment.

"They do?" Esme questioned with a confused expression. Carlisle nodded with a smug look on his face.

"Dad," Edward said in a hushed tone. I looked up to see him just as reddened in the face as I was. Befuddled, I started to babble incoherently. I felt like I needed to clarify our mysterious, elusive run-ins, but was interrupted by a smooth, exotic voice from behind me.

"Eddie," a woman's voice crooned. I turned to see a gorgeous, Hispanic woman approaching Edward quickly. Her skin was like golden honey, wrapped around a figure most women would die for. She was slim, but toned. Her hair was a mix of golden brown and subtle chocolate highlights. The dress she wore was absolutely gorgeous, flattering her perfect figure and skin tone.

She quickly made her way to Edward and wrapped herself around him, kissing him on the cheek gratuitously.

"Carmen," Edward said smoothly, holding her firmly by the waist. I felt my heart fall into my stomach at the sight of it. She was perfect, every man's ideal woman. I didn't stand a chance against her beauty. She looked ideal standing next to Edward, the perfect couple. I couldn't take the sight of her elegance any longer, and decided to avert my gaze to the surrounding groups of mingling guests, hoping to find someone I knew to steal my attention; I needed a viable excuse to leave the situation before my torment was obvious.

"Edward?" Esme questioned, looking at his arm around Carmen with a motherly inquiry. As I heard Edward start his introductions, I saw a glimpse of Alice and Rosalie sitting at the bar. I decided to excuse myself quickly and make my way to them, perhaps invite them to join me in the bathroom so I could officially start my pity fest. I made my pardon and turned to leave quickly before anyone could object. I heard someone saying something behind me, but I didn't pause to find out who it was. I was probably being incredibly rude, but at that moment, I didn't care.

All my preparations for the night could have never saved me from the heartache of seeing Edward with another woman. I'd been pathetically obsessed by this man for over two months. Never in that time had I ever thought that he could be involved in a relationship. I began to inwardly berate myself for believing that an incredibly gorgeous man like Edward would be available. Of course he wouldn't be. Men like him don't stay single for long; he probably had many women vying for his affection.

_Damn it! What an idiot, Swan. Pathetic..._

I made my way to the bar quickly, plopping myself down gracelessly onto the stool beside Rosalie. The bartender asked for my drink order, and I requested a dirty Martini. I saw Rosalie looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I didn't turn to meet her curious gaze. My eyes were fixed on the counter as I continued my inward scolding of my ridiculous behavior.

"Bad night?" Rosalie asked, her tone flat. I nodded in assent, not willing to look at her in fear the water gates would open, ruining my expensive makeup job. I'd just wallow in my self-pity through the next couple hours until I could cry myself to sleep tonight.

"Seems to be going around," Rosalie commented, and the tone in her voice made me take notice. I looked at her then, recognizing her defeated posture.

"What happened?" I asked, thinking that her worries couldn't possibly top mine.

"Well," she started, raising her hand to begin ticking her issues off on her fingers. "First, there's another bitch that has my dress on. Second, Sam is over in the lobby, arguing with his ex-girlfriend. They've been at it for about thirty minutes. Third, my fireman is here...with another woman." I gasped, shocked.

"So is Alice's 'soul mate'," Rosalie finished, using her hands to make quotations as she spoke. I looked next to her and found Alice gulping down a shot of red liquid.

"Bitch," Alice mumbled, signaling to the bartender that she wanted a refill.

I looked at my two friends, both dressed to the nines and completely devastated in one fell swoop. How could we all be so utterly destroyed in a matter of minutes? How could we, as independent, self assured women, allow these men to make us feel any less than amazing? Seeing both of these strong women so defeated by men made me regain my back bone. I started taking a different approach to the situation, a bolder, more independent outlook. I began to voice my inner monologue.

"Look at us," I said rather loudly, gaining the attention of not only both my girlfriends, but a couple others standing around the bar. "We are completely pathetic, do you know that? There is no reason why we are still single. If those guys don't want us, then who the hell cares? We look damn hot and we have three incredibly gorgeous men who've accompanied us here tonight. I say we stay and have fun. Fuck those guys; they don't know what they're missing."

Rosalie and Alice looked at me, speechless. Several minutes passed as they stared at me, but I could see the resolve building behind their eyes.

"You know what? You're right, Bella," Rosalie said, standing up from the bar. "I'm going to show him exactly what he's missing, the jackass." Rosalie turned towards to lobby, mumbling something about 'being ignored' and 'fucking cocksucker' as she went. Alice finished her shot, then smoothed down her dress confidently. I watched as she went to a group of men talking, effectively fishing out Embry amongst the crowd and pulling him onto the dance floor. I was proud of my girls and their ability to take their heartbreak in stride. I smiled to myself and turned to find my drink in front of me.

"That was a rather inspiring speech," a smooth voice said beside me. I turned to see a gorgeous, blonde-haired gentleman sitting in the stool next to me. He had crystal clear blue eyes, and soft full lips turned up in a smirk. I blushed.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking a sip of my drink. The liquid burned my throat, but went down smoothly.

"And you were right, by the way," he said, leaning into me slightly. I turned to look at him questioningly. "You do look incredibly hot," he clarified. I giggled, embarrassed.

"James Cannon," he said, holding out his hand in introduction. I looked at his hand and back at him quickly, deciding if he was a sleaze ball or not. His eyes seemed kind, so I took the chance and introduced myself in turn.

"Bella Swan," I said confidently. He chuckled softly at my sudden change of stature. It was at that point his name started to ring a bell.

"James Cannon?" I inquired. "Why does your name sound familiar?" He laughed softly before he answered timidly.

"I play for the Seattle Sea hawks," he replied, seeming slightly embarrassed at the admission. I laughed.

"Awww, now I remember. Leading rusher for the Hawk's defensive line." He bowed slightly at my statistical knowledge.

"I'm surprised you know that," he answered, his brow furrowed as he assessed me closer now. "Most beautiful, intelligent women don't know much about football."

"Well, you see, I'm a huge fan. I've watched football since I was very little," I answered, proud that my confidence was still evident, not taken over by shyness at his compliments.

"Really?" he asked, seemingly more interested now. "What team do you watch?"

"I'm more of a college fan," I answered. "The Irish have always been my team. There's something about the college teams. No offense, but they seem to have more heart in the game. Not so much about the money, you know?"

He laughed heartily, throwing his head back with mirth. I looked at him intently, smiling a bit as I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, hoping I didn't offend him but really enjoying watching him laugh.

"I completely agree with you Ms. Swan," he said through chuckles. "The egos are a lot to take in as well."

"I'm sure," I chuckled.

We talked for several more minutes, engaging in light conversation about how lovely the night was. After a while, he excused himself as the silent auction started, to raise more money for the charity. As he left though, I saw him turning to look at me once again, smiling and waving slightly.

I watched him disappear through the crow, then turned to order another drink. I had decided to indulge myself one more before I made my way around the ballroom to find Jake. I was slightly peeved that he'd ditched me right away. But if he hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to meet James.

I liked the fact that he found me beautiful and interesting. It was a boost for my confidence, and well timed at that. After my horribly embarrassing display in front of the Cullens, I needed something to buck up my composure. The fact that Edward seemed utterly oblivious to my admiration was like a slap in the face; a hard to comeback, cold splash of reality.

But with James slight interest in me, I found a little shot of confidence and assurance. Perhaps I could get over Edward in the long run, if I found someone just as charming and alluring. James seemed to fit the bill, but I didn't want to become too attached once again. As I sat there thinking over my brief conversation with a gorgeous, professional football player, I felt someone approach me from behind.

"Is this seat taken?" I recognized the voice immediately, and turned to find Edward standing behind me. His expression looked pained somehow as he awaited my response. And in that moment, I didn't know if I wanted him to take that seat. Should I refuse, claiming the seat was taken? Or should I put my heart out on the line again, risking rejection and torment in the name of love?

I took a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face, and gave him my answer.

* * *

**AN: HA! I'm sure there are a lot of you that are like...WTF?!?!?!? Don't worry, updates will be coming soon in Edward's mind. Leave me tons of love and I will promise to update asap!!! **

**Links on my profile for the dresses. I am going to add photos of the character list too over the next couple days, so check those out too. **

**I'm loving the reviews, so keep them coming :D**


	11. Chap 10 Formal Introduction & Faux Pas

Chapter 10 – Formal Introduction & Faux Pas

~ Edward ~

"Hello?"

"Edward, it's your mother. I'm here at Harbor Hall. I wanted to tell you that the dining hall looks absolutely amazing, sweetheart." I sighed into my phone, relieved.

"The banisters turned out okay?"

"Oh yes, honey. They're perfect. Your grandfather will be very impressed." I snorted.

"Sure he will," I mumbled under my breath.

"Where are you?" she asked; I could hear the tinkling of glassware and tuning of instruments in the background. Knowing that my mother was there and overseeing everything was a huge blessing, especially since I was running a tad behind. I could always count on Esme to be punctual to events; especially one's hosted by the renowned Cullens. She'd been my godsend throughout the planning phase, helping me coordinate color patterns and trim the guest list. I owed her so much and she'd supported me more than I deserved.

"I'm on my way now," I said, running my hand through my hair. I inwardly rebuked myself, hoping I didn't look like a complete jackass at my annoying habit of teasing my hair. Esme continually told me that I would be bald by the time I was thirty if I didn't stop pushing back my hairline. Luckily, I still had a full head of hair with no signs of thinning.

"Oh good," Esme sighed. "The boys coming later?"

"Yes," I answered, pulling down the vanity mirror in my Volvo to check that my hair was somewhat presentable. "They are coming at eight with their dates."

"Dates?" Esme asked, her gossiping ear perking up at attention.

"Don't get started with your meddling, Mom. They're just friends. We figured it would be easier for all of us to handle the...stress of the night. There are only so many ways to decline the same women who always show up at these things." It was partially true; the whole truth was that I had decided on bringing a date to ease the tension between the Denalis and the Cullens. Appearance was everything when you were a society brat, so I knew that Tanya Denali would never pass up the opportunity to present to the world the fact that she had moved on from our broken romance. I couldn't have given a shit, but I didn't want to upset my grandfather any further by looking like I was unable to scrounge up a date for the benefit. So, I had decided to invite an old friend of mine, Carmen.

Carmen and I had met in college; we were both Pre-med together before I had made my career change. We became really close, choosing each other as lab partners through our brutal Organic Chemistry series. Many people speculated that there was something more between the two of us. She was incredibly good looking, her body incredible. If it wasn't for the fact that Carmen was a lesbian, perhaps I would have entertained the idea of dating her seriously. That was part of the reason we'd become good friends, because we'd check out the co-eds together, betting on which ones would go for her... or for me.

Carmen was actually the one to encourage me to change career paths. She told me to seek out what my heart's desire was, instead of heading into a profession I wasn't passionate about just to appease my grandfather. It was sort of poetic justice that I had invited her to the Gala, just to keep up appearances for Caius's sake. If he knew that she was the one that had helped push me into being a fireman, he probably wouldn't be too kind. As it was, I was sure he wouldn't be too cordial to me or any date I brought around.

When I had informed Emmett and Jasper that I was taking a date, as a friend, they both decided they would think about doing the same. I had heard them flirting with the idea of taking Jasper's cousins, Kate and Irina, but hadn't heard an official decision on it. Either way, I knew that the girls they would be bringing were just on a friendly basis. We had held true to our agreement about the nurses at Harborview; once the benefit weekend was done, we were going to attempt to pursue them, if they were still single by then. In any event, I was hoping that tonight would run smoothly, for my mother's sake if nothing else.

"That was probably a smart decision, sweetheart," Esme chuckled. "Bringing anyone I should know about?" Her tone was leading, but I didn't have time to indulge her line of inquiry. I had pulled up to the Bell Pier, just in time to see half a dozen light pink roses being loaded onto the balcony. I swore and let out a huffed breath.

"Mom, have you seen the florist?"

"No," she replied quickly, a slight alarm in her voice at my sudden change in mood. "They should be here any minute, though. Why do you ask?"

"Fuck!" I screamed, frustrated. I watched with unbridled fury as the florist we had hired began unloading a truck full of light pink roses. It would have been appropriate if the benefit was for the Breast Cancer Society. However, this event was for the American Heart Association, whose colors were black, white, and RED! That was why we had ordered seven hundred red roses to be delivered, not pink.

"I gotta go," I growled into the receiver. I heard my mother saying something as I clicked off my phone, but I didn't have time to answer her. It was four thirty in the afternoon and the event opened at seven. I needed to get this problem fixed as soon as possible.

I approached the man holding a clipboard outside the van. He was scratching his head with his brow furrowed, looking at the papers he held intently.

"Problem?" I asked, my tone barely under control. The man looked at me a little hesitantly before explaining that the roses they were unloading were for the wrong event; he'd just realized the mistake in the paperwork as they were being unloaded. Before I could start my outward temper tantrum at the fuck-up, the man was on the phone with the florist, correcting the issue. Within an hour, the wrong flowers had been repacked safely into the van, and a new shipment of red roses replaced the pink.

I was greatly relieved, hoping that the little hiccup would be the only problem that I would face this evening. I was under a large amount of pressure from my family to make this event flawless. Even if I wasn't under a huge microscope for being the family's black sheep, the Cullens expected nothing but perfection, especially in something they had their name attached to.

I walked through the main lobby and into the Hall. I paused at the entrance, taking in the ambiance we'd designed. The grand room was decorated to the specifications we'd discussed. The staging area had the AHA banner, trimmed with long pieces of red, white, and black silk. White lights accented the area, highlighting the walls and gathering in the middle of the high ceiling. Tall tiered candles sitting on crystal holders sat atop all the tables. Several candelabras stood at entry and exit points, guiding the guests to their locations. The expensive hors d'œuvres we had ordered would be placed in silver chafing dishes on long tables donned with white linens off to the side in front of the large windows. There were stacks of fine china and sterling silver place settings wrapped in silk napkins. Wine goblets and champagne flutes were being unloaded from large crates. Several tables for guests to eat at trimmed the lit dance floor. And there were two full-service bars set up at either end of the hall, equipped with two bartenders each, preparing their servicing attire. A string quartet was to play for the beginning of the evening, and I could see them beginning to tune their violins, cellos and violas in preparation. Everything looked terrific, and I felt myself beginning to relax a bit.

For the next hour or so, I walked around the Hall, making sure all the details were seen to. My mother had done a fantastic job at delegating, so the set up ran smoothly. Victoria had just arrived wearing a white evening gown, her hair pinned high on her head. She began to take over as my mother finished her checkup rounds. At five thirty, Esme came to kiss my cheek sweetly and excuse herself to get ready. I left shortly after to head home as well.

_The Gala... Lord help me._

I had mixed emotions about tonight. On one hand, I was excited for the evening. My mother and I had put a lot of work into the event, and for her sake, I hoped it would go smoothly. On the other, there were several guests in attendance that I was not too thrilled about seeing.

For one, my grandfather was never a pleasantry. Caius would no doubt plaster on a fake smile for the guests, while berating me under his breath for the tiniest of failures in the evening's appearance. It didn't matter what it would be...the food was too cold, the servers were trashy...whatever he'd find wrong would just be another excuse to call my faults to the forefront. So, I wasn't looking forward to facing his degrading opinion of me.

My uncle Aro and his wife Gianna were also going to be in attendance. Aro was a high-end attorney, only catering to the richest of clients and highest profile cases. He'd made a name for himself with a famous actresses' murder by defending the bastard who killed her. He'd gotten the fucker off, then defended him to the mats when her family tried to sue him in civil court. Now, he mostly dealt in corporate scandals and money laundering. Gianna was a former swimsuit model from Brazil. She was my uncle's third wife, and younger than both of his two sons. My cousins, Demetri and Felix, would also be in attendance, probably with fashion models in tow.

My father's brother was just as stuck up as the richest of socialites; his entire family had their noses so far in the air, they probably were accustomed to breathing at a different altitude than all the lowly folk. Aro never missed an opportunity to throw the fact that I was a blue collar worker, and not living up to the Cullen legacy, in Carlisle's face. In which case, my father would kindly remind him that I was worth more money than both of his mooching, worthless brats he called his spawn, due to my inheritance and tendency to invest extremely well. Aro would then heatedly remind Carlisle that any success I did merit was all luck, nothing to do with any aptitude on my part. My father would then counter with how proud he was to call me a hero and his son. By which Aro would remind him that I was not his son, just their sister's left overs. At some point, my father would usually become highly irate and leave to fetch a stiff drink, or my mother would jump in like a mamma bear and put Aro in his place.

_Fun times..._

Tanya was another issue. I knew she'd be there, dressed to perfection and a new beau on her million-dollar hip. It would be the first time we would see each other since the breakup. I knew it would be awkward, especially since she'd never returned my phone calls. In the countless messages I'd left her, I had requested that she'd give my mother's ring back. It was an issue that needed to be resolved, and quickly. Esme was about to deal with it on her own, knowing how hard it was for me to constantly be reminded of the betrayal I'd felt. And I hated begging Tanya like a fucking dog.

If the ring had belonged to Esme, then perhaps I wouldn't have been so adamant about its return. But the fact was, that ring belonged to Elizabeth, my birth mother. I'd inherited it after her death and stupidly thought Tanya would appreciate the sentiment of wearing her most prized possession. But like the bitch she was, when I'd presented it to her, she didn't even attempt to hide her disappointment. She'd hated the ring, claiming she'd wanted something of her own, not my mother's hand-me-downs. I was genuinely offended and started to rethink my heady proposal. She had probably realized I was retracting from the relationship though, because days later she began showing off the ring, speaking of how lovely it was for the Denalis and Cullens to finally join as one. Three weeks later, I came home early from a shift at work to find her naked and straddling the lap of the pool boy. I left her quickly after, moving in with Emmett and Jasper.

I needed that ring back, and I was planning on approaching her about it at the benefit. It was probably in bad taste, but I didn't know when I'd have an opportunity like this again. Tanya was all about outward appearances, and if she felt I was starting to make a scene, I knew she'd crumble like a fucking house of cards.

I arrived at home, quickly showered and got dressed. I had a car picking me up at six thirty so I had plenty of time to greet the guests arriving at seven. As I waited downstairs, I heard both Jasper and Emmett arrive at home.

"Fucktard!" Emmett greeted me with a huge smile. "You clean up well, son!" He began circling around me, admiring my Armani tux with a little more excitement than I was comfortable with.

"Gunna pounce Emmett, or what? Fuck," I grumbled, gripping my collar to loosen the bow tie just slightly. I hated wearing these fucking things; made me feel like a complete moron. The idiot just kept grinning, looking at me like he found something highly amusing.

"You look sweet, Eddie," Emmett laughed at me, watching me squirm uncomfortably in the monkey suit. I hated dressing up, and upon reflection, maybe that was another reason I'd chose the career I did. As a rule, firemen hardly ever dressed in our official suits. Our Class A uniforms were only reserved for promotions or funerals. We usually just wore our Department T-shirts and pants. _Thank fuck for that..._

"Fuck you, princess," I growled at Emmett. "Both of you shitheads are gunna be looking just as ridiculous in a minute." Jasper and Emmett cringed; they shared my opinion on dressing like a penguin.

"You meeting Carmen there?" Jasper asked in his calming drawl. I nodded in confirmation.

"Damn, man," Emmett whistled, his face becoming dream-like. "She's fucking hot! Why is it that the exotically gorgeous and erotic ones always play for the home team? What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in her bedroom..." Jasper and I laughed as Emmett began to drool. No matter how enthralled he was by his blonde nurse, Emmett would never change; he would always be a chauvinistic, frat boy at heart.

I left the boys to get ready for the evening about ten minutes later, sitting back into the blackened car and enjoying the drive to the Hall. As I waited, I silently went over the events planned for the evening in my mind.

First, there was to be light appetizers served with drinks. This was an opportunity for the guests to mingle and take in the beauty of the night. It was also the point in where I would officially greet my extended family, the part I dreaded with every fiber in my being. Fortunately, I would be busy for the remainder of the evening, so it would be a brief encounter to say the least.

The second part of the evening was the silent auction. We had several donated items, including tickets to the Seattle Opera house, season passes to the Seattle Seahawks, Thunderbirds, and Sounders, several high-end spa packages, and even a lunch date with the famous Seahawks defensive lineman, James Cannon. The auction was hopefully going to bring in a lot of money for the AHA.

The following part entailed the official introduction to the evening and speeches of the importance of appropriate cardiac health and wellness. The welcoming speech was to be delivered by myself, and I was nervous as hell about it. Not only would all eyes be on me, but I would be officially representing the Cullen family, a fact that I was not looking forward to. I knew that while I was on the stage, hopefully providing our guests a welcoming atmosphere, my grandfather and uncle would be sneering and cursing my name. I had prepared myself for the ridicule, donning my toughened skin for the onslaught.

The rest of the evening was free for meet and greets; mostly, it was the time to work the famous 'Cullen charm'. This is where most of the donation money would be earned. It was the point in time where an odd dance would begin, an elitist mixing of compliments and underhanded disparaging; each family would try to out best each others' outward appearance, noted by how much money they would donate to the charity. The younger men would dance with the daughters of the richest families, flirting and complementing them into oblivion. The women would charm and seduce each others' husbands, staking their claim as lioness of the pack. The older men would compliment each others' achievements, claiming themselves conquerors of the world. It seemed a rather ridiculous concept, but it always worked smoothly. And it was to be expected in an event such as this. Each societal family hosted these charitable events, attempting to charm and impress the other, noted figures. It was like a game, 'who could out-do who'; it was comical and infantile, but it was what it was.

I arrived at the Hall promptly at six thirty, finding Victoria standing at the entry, making sure the final touches were exact to the specifications. The musicians had already begun playing a light version of Dvořák's Fifth Symphony, adding to the romantic atmosphere.

"It looks great, Edward," Victoria mused beside me. When I didn't answer, she studied my face closer, correctly interpreting the tension there. "You know, I've worked with your grandfather's family for a long time. I never understood the pressure they put on you." I nodded, not meeting her gaze or fully acknowledging the avenue of conversation she was approaching.

It was common knowledge among the family about my grandfather's disdain for my choices and lack thereof. There had always been an unspoken agreement not to mention my parents as well, almost as if they had never existed. My grandfather was the king of avoidance and rigidity, and if I didn't know better, I never would have guessed he mourned his daughter's death at all. The truth of it was her death almost killed him. And I believed it was too painful for him to acknowledge me as anything less than a failure...just like my father. He didn't see any of Elizabeth in me, only my father's insurmountable errors.

Jasper and Emmett knew of the Cullen drama, because they were like my brothers; but outside of those in the most inner circle, no one else knew about the conflict in my family. We didn't discuss it, didn't address it, almost as if it were in bad taste to acknowledge it or something. It didn't surprise me that Victoria had recognized the strain, but it would have been poor etiquette for me to elaborate on her observations. She seemed to pick up on my standoffish attitude, because she simply patted me lightly on my back, and continued on with her work.

As the guests started to arrive, I stood dutifully by the front door, greeting those that I recognized and welcoming the guests I was only vaguely familiar with. The first hour went by quickly as I was pulled from conversation to conversation, taking in the general compliments to the evening's appearance. Most of the guests were excited about the silent auction and dancing that was to take place later in the evening. I was shuffled between Seattle's political figures to local celebrities. The chief of the Fire Department was in attendance, and after a good twenty minutes of him indulging a small crowd about my more heroic attributes, I saw my grandfather arrive with my grandmother, Heidi. I excused myself, preparing to greet my family.

My grandfather saw me approaching from about five feet away. I saw him immediately stiffen his posture at the sight of me, causing a small smile to curve the corner of my mouth. It was common for me to be incredibly apprehensive about meeting or speaking to my grandfather beforehand, running over the different scenarios in my mind countless times. I stressed over it relentlessly, probably giving myself small stomach ulcers in the process. But when it actually came time to face him, the reality of it always entertained me in a morbid way. His petty behavior was slightly amusing, and I enjoyed watching him create new and inventive ways to give a calming and loving outward appearance, while berating me under his breath. _Comical..._

"Edward," my grandfather said confidently, making the smallest and briefest of eye contact with me.

"Caius," I answered just as assured. I watched his jaw muscles twinge slightly, then he glanced around him quickly to see if anyone was paying attention to our familial conversation. One of Caius's fellow business entrepreneurs was standing near us with his wife, both dressed and dripping with millions. I watched closely as my grandfather plastered on a fake, warm smile, then attempt to look at me with fondness. _What a joke..._

"Edward, son. Why do you persist on calling me by my name? I am your grandfather." I nodded slightly, not even attempting to address the fact that he had told me repeatedly to call him Caius, and nothing but. However, now was not the time and place to address such contradictions, especially since I knew damn well that he was only saying that because we had guest ears within hearing distance.

I stepped forward slightly, leaning in to kiss my grandmother on her cheek. She smiled at me softly, but her gaze did not meet my eyes. If anything affected me tonight, it would be her reaction to seeing me. I always loved my grandmother. As a child, I remembered day trips spent with her and Elizabeth to the bay, walking along the shores and singing at the top of our lungs. I'd cherished those moments together, for she was a huge part of my life then. But when my mother died, a part of my grandmother disappeared within herself. She seemed to sink within her depression so far, that she didn't feel to be part of the living anymore. I suppose I could understand; I didn't know how I'd deal with a death of a cherished daughter, as my mother was to both of her parents...at one point anyway.

"I am sure you didn't have any trouble organizing tonight with Victoria," my grandfather asked in a quipped tone.

"Victoria was very helpful," I replied, keeping my answers just a short.

"I see that she used a different caterer tonight," he supplied, looking over to the tables piled with Crab Puffed Pastries and Smoked Salmon Terrine.

"I decided to try something new," I answered, not wanting to give Caius the opportunity to blame Victoria for anything that went wrong tonight. While he could fire her for any retaliation against me, he could not dismiss me from the family; a fact that probably plagued his waking dreams, and I inwardly chuckled at the thought.

"Something amusing?" Caius asked with a stoic expression, and a growled at myself for letting my inward amusement become too evident.

"No, not at all. I'm just happy to see you both," I lied through my teeth. I saw Caius's expression change slightly, but before I could interpret it further, he morphed back into his apathetic exterior.

"Enjoy your evening, Edward," my grandfather said quickly, not meeting my eyes as he led his wife further into the throngs of money and power. I watched him leave, rather shocked. I couldn't recall a shorter, less intense conversation with him in...well...ever. I replayed the conversation in my mind, trying to evaluate what I had said to cause his abrupt departure. After a while, I chalked it up to being a fluke, and turned to greet more people.

"Edward," I heard my mother call from behind me. I turned to see her a couple feet away next to my father, a petite brunette standing in front of them. I made my way through the crowd, taking in my mother's appearance. She was a classic beauty, dressed in a mermaid ball gown that accented her figure perfectly. Carlisle stood next to her, looking refined as always. But his attention was on the brunette before him, not on my mother as it should be. Something in his expression sat uneasy with me, and I planned to investigate it further.

I leaned in to kiss my mother, complimenting her gently in her ear. "Mom, you look breathtaking as always." I turned quickly to my father, trying to silently ask him what his deal was with my expression.

"Dad, good to see you too." My father didn't turn to greet me; he was still smiling at the woman like the cat that ate the canary. Finally, he clasped my hand, embracing me slightly as was our custom. I was still watching him slightly as I heard my mother began to make her introductions.

"Edward, I like you to meet someone," my mother said. In that moment, time seemed to stand still. I slowly turned, and my world seemed to freeze. I should have known what was about to happen, because I felt an eerie sense of foreboding creep its way up my spine and down both arms. But looking back, I don't think I could have prepared myself to see her looking as beautiful as she did. There in front of me stood Bella Swan, my temptress...my siren.

God, she looked amazing. The black dress she had on hugged every curve and valley of her petite figure. The color of it made her skin glow like peaches and cream. The way the dress was cut left a delicious path of skin visible down the front of her, allowing both of her softened peaks to hedge out of the dress slightly, hinting to the deliciousness beneath. Her heavenly features were perfect, highlighted by the light dusting of makeup. The thick mane of brown curls was swept to the side, leaving the expanse of her delicate shoulders bare for my viewing. Her eyes were vivid, alive with passion and mystery.

I stood there, breathless as I took her all in. The people around the room disappeared, and all that was left was the two of us. She was a feast to my senses, and I was blinded to anything else but her beauty. My mind froze and my breath bated, waiting for the heavens to open and swallow me whole.

I could hear my mother speaking, probably clarifying who this luscious beauty was before me, but I couldn't make sense of her words. It wasn't until I saw the gorgeous woman's posture change that the world began to move again. She stood ramrod straight and held her hand out toward my direction.

Somewhere inside of me knew that this was a custom of civilized introduction, the handshake. But in front of such otherworldly beauty, it didn't make sense to me. I watched her hand blankly, like a simplistic gesture for her was not adequate enough. Someone of her elegance should not be greeted like a commoner. Her feet should be kissed, worshiped like the earthly goddess she was.

It was only when her hand started to retreat back down to her side that my senses came back to me. I quickly grabbed her hand, probably harder than I normally would have a woman, and shook it in turn.

"Hi," I squeaked, my voice rough from shock. I coughed the dryness from my throat and attempted to sound like a human being. "I'm Edward," I finished, hoping that the confidence in my voice didn't sound as fake as it truly was. With much anticipation, I took the opportunity to act like a gentleman, raising her small hand to my lips to kiss her kindly. When my mouth met her skin, I felt a twinge at the site, almost as if part of her essence leapt into my cells, charging and exciting them into a frenzy.

"Bella," I heard her breathe in response, the sound of which made the same electricity the kiss caused ignite in extreme, flowing through my body and pumping directly into my hardening shaft.

"Hmm, beautiful in name and vision; fitting," I mused out loud, staring intensely into her eyes. The deep pools of chocolate entrapped me just as her singing voice had encased my soul. I was completely lost to their depths when I saw her pull her plump bottom lip between her whitened teeth. The taut skin of her lip teased and pulled, leaving the light pink of her tongue visible to my appraisal. Her mouth was sensual, inviting; and I fought every instinct to lean in and press my lips to hers. I wanted to delve my tongue into her mouth, taking hers into mine so I could suck it, tasting her deeply, passionately. I was just about to fulfill that very fantasy, when I heard someone's rough voice cut into the fog her presence invoked.

My father coughed, interrupting what I am sure was quite the show of pathetically over driven hormones on my part. I grumbled to myself for allowing such improper thoughts about this woman, running my hand through my hair in exasperation at my behavior.

"But Esme, love, Edward already knows Bella," my father added, a twinge of humor in his voice.

_That son of a bitch..._ I thought wryly. I remembered mentioning to my father that I had met Bella while visiting Nikki. At the time, I just wanted to find out more information about his conversation with that doctor that I'd overheard in his office. I didn't think the half truth would come back and bite me in the ass...right in front of her, no less. I felt the embarrassment color my cheeks, giving me away to my deceit as my mother tried to gain more information about Bella and me from my over-divulging father.

"Dad," I tried to cut him off before he made me look like a complete buffoon. I heard Bella stuttering along with me, probably just as embarrassed as I was about the misunderstanding.

"Eddie," a woman's voice crooned. I saw Carmen approaching me looking gorgeous in her evening gown, as always. She stood next to me, reaching up slightly to peck my cheek in greeting. At first, I was glad for the distraction to what was to be a very humiliating scene of clarification and admitted obsession.

"Carmen," I smiled, hugging her around her slim waist happily. My smile faded quickly as I looked back to Bella, who was looking anywhere but at me and Carmen. Her cheeks were flushed with color, and her eyes held a heavy emotion that I couldn't quite make out. I felt my heart fall as she began to look around the large room, resembling a caged animal hoping to find an escape route. It dawned on me how my behavior with Carmen would have seemed to an outsider; we probably looked like lovers, instead of good friends. I cursed my stupidity as I heard my mother begin to question me.

"Edward?" she asked, and by the tone in her voice, I knew she was slightly disappointed in Bella's reaction to our new guest.

"Mom, this is Carmen." My mother's eyes lit in recognition, for I'd spoken about my friendship with Carmen countless times. She'd known how important Carmen was to me, and how instrumental she was in my decision making as far as firefighting was concerned. I watched my mother's expression become warm and loving as she reached out to Carmen. "Carmen, this is my mother, Esme." Carmen shook her hand in polite greeting, then turned to smack me on the back of my head.

"What the hell was that?" Carmen chastised, and I looked at her stunned and speechless. _What the hell did I do to deserve that?_

"What the hell..." I grumbled quickly, looking at her genuinely affronted. Carmen pointed to Bella's retreating form as she made her way towards the lit bar. I felt my heart jump at her absence.

"You idiot," Carmen growled. "Why would you hug me like that in front of her?" I looked at my friend, surprised at how fast she interpreted the situation correctly. I had mentioned Bella to Carmen, but only in the most general of terms. But like the good friend she was, Carmen was able to see through me clearly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to fake innocence when I heard Carmen bark her laughter in my face.

"Oh give it a rest, Cullen," Carmen chuckled, and I could see my mother's eyes twinkle with amusement beside her. "I could tell how infatuated you were with that woman from across the room." My eyes narrowed automatically. If she saw me speaking to Bella, then why did she come over to me and make a scene? I was just about to ask her that very question when my father's voice interrupted me.

"You must be Carmen, Edward's friend." Carmen nodded and blushed slightly as Carlisle took her hand in his, raising it to place a kiss on the top. I watched curiously as Carmen's blush deepened, amazed. My father's good looks and eloquent charm usually affected women this way; I was just surprised to see the reaction on Carmen. She'd been a lesbian for as long as I known her, never even showing a slight interest in the male persuasion. I guess if anyone were to cause her to question her sexual preferences, it would be my father.

"Oh Edward," my mother came to stand in front of me. "Wasn't Bella beautiful? I've wanted you two to meet for so long. I think she would just be perfect for you. She's kind and loving. She's a terrific nurse and is highly respected among the doctors at Harborview." She was gushing and speaking rapidly, trying to convince me of Bella's attributes before I dismissed the idea of dating her, like I had done so often when my mother attempted to set me up in the past. Little did she know that I wanted Bella for my very own; she didn't need to push me into anything. In any case, I really didn't feel comfortable with my mother meddling in our relationship, even if she was trying to help it along. I wanted an opportunity to get to know Bella on my own, without any type of outside interference. As my mother began to talk quickly, saying something about my father's job as her supervisor not being an issue, my posture began to tense slightly. Before I could shut myself off completely, my father was grabbing my mother's arm, shushing her slightly as he led her to the dance floor.

As Esme's voice trailed off, I could catch the tail end of her list of Bella's attributes as good dating material. I sighed dramatically, running my hand through my wild hair.

"Oh, don't act like your mother is wrong," Carmen admonished as she rolled her eyes at my bad habit. "That girl was hot, Edward. And if you don't go after her, I will. She looks a little adventurous. Maybe I could get her to pinch hit for the night." Carmen had a wicked gleam in her eye, and my pants automatically tightened at the thought of her and Bella together, their naked bodies writhing in pleasure. I was a man, after all; a little girl-on-girl action always got my blood pumping to my nether region.

"Down boy," Carmen laughed, nudging my shoulder playfully. The two of us laughed for a while, and enjoyed one of our usual conversations about everything and nothing at the same time. Carmen was just what I needed in that moment, a little breather from the scene. I didn't think I could ever fully relate to her how much her friendship with me meant. Outside Jasper and Emmett, Carmen had been my rock of solidarity for so long. She was a true outsider to my world of utter bull shit, and she had a great knack of putting stuff into perspective.

"Uh, oh," she mumbled a couple minutes later, her gaze fixed at the bar. I followed her line of vision to see Bella deep in a conversation with James Cannon. She was laughing with him, her head thrown back in mirth. She looked relaxed and happy; my gut clenched at the sight, causing my insides to boil green.

"Um, you might want to head over there if you don't want her to go home with someone else tonight," Carmen giggled, taking in my posture and gleam of jealousy beneath my eyes. I nodded numbly, not even acknowledging the fact that Carmen was laughing at me as I walked toward Bella like a panther on the prowl.

I stood to the side for several moments, watching Bella and James talk like they'd known each other for years. Maybe they did, or maybe he was her date for the evening. The thought of Bella with him, with anyone for that matter, made my insides burn with rage. I resolved just then that it didn't matter who Bella was here with; I wanted to make her my own, in every way possible.

I watched excitedly at James excused himself for the silent auction. Somewhere behind my desires, I knew that I needed to go oversee the auction, to make sure everything went smoothly. In that moment, I didn't care. I was pretty confident that Victoria would be able to handle any problem on her own, but it was ultimately my responsibility. Right then, though, the only thing that mattered was talking to Bella.

I approached her slowly from behind, enjoying the opportunity to take her in. A large expanse of her back was bare, leaving a generous amount of flesh available for my perusal. Her skin looked incredibly supple, like silk over the softest of cotton. I could imagine running my fingertips, my tongue over the delicate planes of her body. I wanted more than anything to reach out and caress her, watching as the skin pimpled under the gentlest of touches.

Quicker than I'd anticipated, I was standing directly next to her. Her scent was intoxicating, giving off a subtle hint of a type of fruit laced with molten desire. _Incredible..._

"Is this seat taken?" I asked before I had conscious thought to speak. I watched her tense slightly, then turn to meet my curious gaze. She seemed to think for a minute, the obvious battle fighting behind her eyes, and I didn't know which side was winning. Perhaps I was too late.

Was I too slow in my attempts to make her mine? Had she already given herself to someone else, and was thinking of a gentle way to let me down? I began to sweat as I awaited her answer with bated breath.

"I'm not sure," she said coolly, arching one eyebrow confidently. "There was someone sitting there just a moment ago, and I'm not sure if he is coming back or not." Her voice was hypnotic, an erotic croon that promised every fantasy come true. My inside swelled at the sound, and every part of me wanted to hear it again. But mostly, I wanted to hear that voice scream my name as I made her cum, over and over again. I wanted to hear that voice laced with roughness from a night of extreme passion at my hand. I wanted to make her mine, and for her to declare it with her seductive words in middle of an intense climax.

"Do you mind if I sit?" I asked, attempting to give her one of the illustrious Cullen smiles. I saw her move in her seat slightly, perhaps to make herself more comfortable. But in the next instant, she turned from me, shielding her delicious eyes from my view.

"If you want," she answered into her drink, her posture rigid but self-assured.

"I've heard a lot about you," I said, looking straight ahead of me, just as she was doing. Our postures mirrored each other, both tense but laced with an underlying passion that neither one of us could ignore for long.

"You have?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly near the end. I nodded in confirmation, but realized she couldn't see my answer by the way she was sitting. Just as I was about to reply to her out loud, she turned to look at me more fully.

"My father thinks very highly of you," I answered, turning to look at her. She blushed slightly, the color high in her cheeks, making her face even more alluring.

"Dr. Cullen is an amazing physician," she answered, turning back to her drink but her posture more welcoming than before. "He is an excellent leader in the department. I've learned a lot from him, and he's been a great friend to me. He stands up for me when other doctors try to take advantage of the nursing staff." I chuckled, thinking of the conversation I'd had with my father previously. Her statement reminded me of the compliment my father had paid her, about her ability to put doctors in their place when they step out of line. Her head snapped up, and she looked at me questioningly.

"Carlisle seems to think that you do fine defending yourself," I said, a smile on my lips. Her color deepened, but she smiled back slightly.

"Oh?" she questioned, her smile becoming more genuine as she took in my amusement. "What did he say?"

"He told me about how this incredibly gorgeous nurse he worked with was able to whip a couple interns into shape through sharp wit and intellect that could rival many politicians and comedians."

"I don't know about that," she laughed, the sound of which shot a hot sensation through my body, and I resolved right then to hear that sound again. "I doubt most of that is true," she said, her lips pressing together to hide her laughter.

"I am sure he was right about the wit," I added quickly. "And I am most definitely confident the intellect was an adequate statement. But the term gorgeous seems a little...misplaced." Her features darkened for a moment, but her eyes never left mine as her expression became more serious at my words.

"Oh?" she asked softly.

"I wouldn't use the term gorgeous to describe you fully," I clarified. "Although, it is a good start."

"Really?" she asked, skepticism in her voice. _How could she not see herself for anything less than amazing...?_

"I believe that beautiful, exotic, breathtaking...should be considered in the foundations of your description," I answered fully. Inwardly, I cheered as I saw her expression freeze at my statement, then melt into something I could only interpret as heartwarming, content.

"Just in the foundations?" she asked, her lips curling into a smile. Was she flirting with me? My heart swelled at the thought.

"Yes," I answered her in a chuckle. "The most adequate of words I think would be an understatement in its entirety."

"Now you're just trying to flatter me," she giggled, and I laughed with her. I sobered quickly though, because I could see that beneath her eyes, she actually believed that I was trying play with her; that what I was saying wasn't genuine. Did she think I just wanted to get between her legs?

"You don't see yourself very clearly," I said seriously, my tone chiding in nature. She stiffened, then seemed to re-grow her ramrod backbone once again.

"I see myself perfectly, Mr. Cullen," she said flatly. "Perhaps you are the one that needs reminding of how reality works." I looked at her, completely taken aback.

"And what would reality be, Ms. Swan?"

"Reality is that people like you don't come down to play with people like me, unless it was for one night of living dangerously amongst the proletariat. And I don't indulge that kind of behavior, so your words of flattery have fallen on deaf ears. I'm sure your date would be quite offended by your behavior as well, or did you forget you had another woman with you?"

I was shocked.

And I was stunned. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings or make her feel anything less than cherished. Instead, I had offended her. How many men have treated her poorly for her to have such an outlook? I started to become angry at the thought.

"Bella," I said softly. My tone made her take notice, and she met my eyes fully as I spoke again. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm not trying to gain anything from you, just a nice conversation, alright?" She seemed to take a moment to gauge my sincerity, then nodded. Her face melted into something that looked a little sheepish, and she began to play with the edges of her martini glass.

"Carmen is just a friend of mine," I leaned in to clarify, just so she knew that I wasn't the type of man to have a date, then mack on another woman. She laughed. A full on belly, throw your head back chortle. I looked at her questioningly, her reaction to my statement confusing.

"Sure she is," Bella laughed without mirth. "Come on, Edward. I'm not an idiot. You two are like a picturesquely gorgeous couple. Why wouldn't you want to be with her?"

"She's gay," I shrugged, trying not to play into her feelings of inadequacy to be by my side. Honestly, her attitude was starting to irritate me, and I wanted to start the process of making her see herself for the absolute heavenly creature she was.

"She's gay?" Bella asked, the humor gone from her voice. I nodded, taking a sip of my scotch that had been placed before me.

"Has been as long as I've known her," I answered, looking at her stunned expression.

"Oh," she said. "I didn't mean...I guess I just assumed...I didn't think that," she babbled.

"I needed to bring a friend tonight," I interrupted her, trying to clarify my relationship with Carmen so she could understand that my advances on her were genuine. "It's a long story, but I didn't want to show up to this event without a date. Safety in numbers, and all that..." I trailed off.

"I can understand that," she replied. "I did the sa —" she began to say, but was cut off by a sharply annoying voice.

"Bells," a harsh voice interrupted rudely, and I growled at the sound of it. I knew who it was before I saw him, and I wanted to fucking bomb the room before he'd come any closer to her. Jacob fucking Black. _That son of a fucking whore monger..._

"Jake," Bella called, her brows furrowing in anger. "Where the hell have you been? You ditched me right when we got here. I'm not taking you anywhere anymore you motherfu —"

"I'm sorry, fuck," Jake spat back, his tone of voice making my hackles stand on end. I had to hold myself from launching into the son of bitch for his attitude. "I saw someone I knew, jeez."

Bella sighed, her face changing into acceptance of how she'd been treated. I was livid, seeing red and wanting to fucking gut the motherfucker for breathing...and Bella was completely comfortable about it all.

_Fuck that..._

"You left her alone?" I growled through gritted teeth. Jake turned to see me standing there, shocked. His face quickly morphed into anger as he recognized the intruder.

"Cullen." Black cursed the word between pursed lips. We both stood there, glaring at each other, daring each other to begin a war of words that would no doubt make a scene. Bella stood in the middle of us, looking at the both of us with worry under her eyes. She looked at me questioningly, silently pleading me with her eyes to back down. I couldn't...the fucker had left her alone, made her feel like she wasn't worth his pathetic time. _Fuck that shit..._

I braced myself for attack.

* * *

**AN: So my beta Neliz is convinced there is going to be a mob outside my door with pitchforks due to that ending, but I had to split this chapter for length purposes. The next chapter will pick up right here, in Bella's POV. It should be up by the end of the week, unless shit hits the fan in RL. **

**I added pics of the characters to my profile. Check them out!**

**Reviewers get a preview of the confrontation between Jake and Edward, along with some Bella insight on Edward. The yummy citrus should be coming soon...**


	12. Chapter 11 Dog Fight

Chapter 11 – Dog Fight

~ Bella ~

I couldn't believe the indescribable predicament I'd found myself in. Of all the situations to have evolved in front of me, I couldn't fathom anything worse than this. I thought my knack for finding trouble wherever I went had finally led me to my doom, for I had found myself in the middle of a dog fight with two irate, infantile men.

I stood there in stunned silence, watching these two ridiculously immature _boys_ face off with each other. I didn't know what their animosity was about and I didn't care. All I could focus on was the look in Edward's eyes as he stared daggers into Jake's noggin.

"Don't fucking say my name," Edward growled at Jake, the low sound of his anger rumbling in his chest. Jake looked shocked by his words for a moment, then he swung his arm around my shoulders protectively, pulling me into the safety of his side. It was a thing he did often without a second thought. Jake was like my big brother, always there to defend me if needed. But this time, it felt different. When he pulled me into him, it felt more like a possessive move, rather than a protective one.

I glanced up at Jake's face to see that he looked a little smug, staring at Edward with a half smile on his mouth. My gaze shifted back to Edward in order to try and decipher Jake's attitude, but what I saw caused a strange feeling to grow in the pit of my stomach.

Edward looked enraged, incensed, as he stared at Jake's hand resting on my bare shoulder. The intensity of his stare made me squirm in Jake's guarded embrace, like his massive body heat was stifling and I needed to breathe. I had a strong urge to push Jake's heavy arm off my body, and take several steps away from him. I started to move, distancing myself as much as I could without hurting Jake's feelings, but his grip on me only tightened in response.

"Place looks nice," Jake said, looking around indifferently to emphasize his words. He was trying to feign nonchalance, but I could decipher the underlying tension in his stance. "Guess it should, with all the cash you no doubt dumped into the evening. Probably could have bought a new cardiac wing for the hospital with that money, instead of catering to your hoity-toity friends. Does the AHA know how much money the Cullens waste by playing hostess to the city's elite?"

I elbowed Jake in the ribs sharply, giving him a silent command to knock off his bull shit. I didn't know what his deal was with Edward, but I didn't like Jake insulting the Cullens to make his point. Jake didn't back down, however; his fingers curved around the bony prominence of my shoulder, and I started to cringe at the sensation.

I didn't like the way Jake was holding me, like I was his to manipulate or something. I put both of my hands on Jake's side, attempting to push him slightly so he'd get the hint that I wanted to move. But yet again, Jake's hold on me only became more firm.

"Let her go," Edward growled sharply, his eyes never having left from Jake's tightened grip on my body.

"She's fine where she is," Jake replied, pulling me even harder into his side. I grimaced, looking up at Jake questioningly.

"The fuck she is," Edward spat, the timbre of his voice raising an octave. The sound of him swearing with that velvet voice was somehow alluring, like it was enticingly wicked in some way. I could imagine him growling out profanity as he climaxed in bed, pumping and sweating through his passion. As my naughty thoughts spiraled out of control, I could feel the tell-tale blush creep up my neck. Only Edward's words pulled me back into reality; the tone of his voice deepened in anger as he growled once more, "Let her go, now."

"Fuck you, Cullen," Jake growled, and I had never heard him so menacing, so angry in his tone. "Don't think that your social status can dictate whether I hold my girlfriend or not. She's here with me, period. So back the fuck off."

I didn't understand what was going on between the two of them, and at that point, I didn't care. All I knew was that the two idiots were starting to make a scene, and from what I could tell, at least part of it was about me. I shoved away from Jacob as hard as I could, and he finally loosened his hold enough that I could back away from the sweltering heat of his body.

"Jacob Black, knock it off," I growled through my teeth, narrowing my eyes at him to emphasize my sincerity. "You are starting to make a scene."

I took the small opportunity to glance around us quickly, making sure the night hadn't been disrupted by their petty behavior. The only person who'd seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary was the bartender. He was standing behind the counter, cleaning a wine glass and staring at our tense grouping with rapt attention, a small, eager smile tugging his lips. Although he seemed to find the cock fight amusing, I was completely embarrassed and disgusted by it all.

"What is with you two?" I questioned sharply, exchanging pointed looks in both their directions. Neither of them answered me, just continued to stare at each other heatedly. Finally, Edward spoke.

"Is he your boyfriend?" he asked me, making eye contact with me for the first time since Jake had appeared. His eyes were sharp as they seemed to probe into my soul, holding my attention and making my body tremble under the intensity. I opened my mouth to speak, the words seemingly caught in my throat.

"She doesn't have to answer to you, Cullen," Jake spat at him, taking a small step in front of my body like a ridiculous shield or something. "She's not your employee to boss around. Just back off!"

I was sure that Jake thought he was trying to save me from some guy's unwelcome advances by pretending our relationship was more than it was, but I didn't like the inferences he made to Edward. I didn't want Edward thinking that I was unavailable, especially since he'd seemed so interested in me just moments before.

When Edward had come up to me at the bar and asked if the seat was taken, I didn't think he'd actually sit down next to me. But I was reluctantly glad he did. I had been completely crushed when I'd seen him together with his girlfriend. At that awkward moment, part of me wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and die; it had been completely obvious that I was infatuated with him, as witnessed by his own father no less. The other part of me wanted to claw that bitch's eyes out, and take her place at Edward's side.

I had left the whole scene quickly, seeking the comfort of my friends and a stiff drink. The next thing I knew, he standing next to me, asking my permission to join me at the bar. I had been hesitant to agree; his mere presence was intoxicating, clouding my thoughts in a fog of lust and passion. Under his influence, I didn't feel that I could trust myself or my fluctuating emotions. But he looked amazing standing there, asking my permission to join me; I wanted to just melt at the sound of his voice.

I tried to be composed as much as I could, airing a sense of confidence, surety that was completely fake in comparison to how I truly felt. I attempted to tell him that the seat had just been vacated, not wanting to fully give him permission to join me. I needed him to make that decision on his own so that I didn't seem desperate or unsure. He took that seat despite my lack of invitation, and I stared straight ahead, trying to give a sense of indifference while attempting to calm my exploding nerves.

"I've heard a lot about you," he had said softly, trying to engage me in polite conversation.

"You have?" I asked, shocked that he'd heard of me before. Did he know who I was all along? Was I the reason he'd been wandering around Nikki's room? What had he heard about me? From whom?

My thoughts were running rampant as I stared straight ahead. I was trying to figure out if his father was the one who'd told him of me, probably relaying stories of our many tragic cases in the ED. Maybe his mother had mentioned me, attempting to set us up or something. Esme had been known to do that before. I looked at him in attempt to find some clarification to his statement, but was caught off guard by his small smile.

"My father thinks very highly of you," he clarified, burning me with his intense emerald orbs. I blushed under his gaze, feeling tingling sensations running down my legs.

"Dr. Cullen is an amazing physician," I answered quickly, turning back to my glass, very much in need of a distraction. "He is an excellent leader in the department. I've learned a lot from him, and he's been a great friend to me. He stands up for me when other doctors try to take advantage of the nursing staff."

He laughed softly at my rambling and offered clarification to his humor; the sound of his laugh was heavenly and it made me smile in return. He seemed to be genuinely enjoying our first attempt at a true conversation, and I couldn't help but feel slightly giddy at his attention. When I asked him to elaborate on what his father had said about me, his words caught me by surprise.

"He told me about how this incredibly gorgeous nurse he worked with was able to whip a couple interns into shape through sharp wit and intellect that could rival many politicians and comedians."

_Did he just call me gorgeous?_

"I don't know about that," I answered in response to my inner question, laughing at the ridiculousness of that thought. "I doubt most of that is true."

"I am sure he was right about the wit," he responded quickly. "And I am most definitely confident the intellect was an adequate statement. But the term gorgeous seems a little...misplaced." I felt my expression become guarded quickly at his words. Was he flirting with me?

"Oh?" I breathed.

"I wouldn't use the term gorgeous to describe you fully," he continued, his voice dropping into a deep, sensual croon. "Although, it is a good start."

_Oooh, he's good. Quite the smooth talker..._

"Really?" I asked, incredulous. I was on to his game; he probably did this a thousand times, trying to flatter some unsuspecting girl into his bed for the evening. I was enjoying the flirting, but part of me was a little disappointed in his fake attempts to flatter me. I knew what I was, and anything more than ordinary on a good day was pushing the envelope.

"I believe that beautiful, exotic, breathtaking...should be considered in the foundations of your description," he continued. His words made my blood heat, and the sensations pooled down into my core.

"Just in the foundations?" I asked, playing with him slightly.

"Yes," he laughed. "The most adequate of words I think would be an understatement in its entirety."

"Now you're just trying to flatter me," I giggled, truly enjoying our innocent flirting. The attention felt nice, even if it was insincere; I knew where my place was, and I was comfortable with that. My dreams of finding a man as incredible as Edward Cullen, and being more to him than just an experiment, were highly unlikely. I knew that his level and my level were two circles that didn't intermix, but I enjoyed his playful banter nonetheless.

"You don't see yourself very clearly," he said seriously, shocking me with his sudden sincerity. I didn't like the way he was looking at me, like he was berating me in his mind for being onto his game. I felt a surge of pride swim inside me, and I let the tigress come out to defend my honor.

"I see myself perfectly, Mr. Cullen," I replied with no emotion. "Perhaps you are the one that needs reminding of how reality works."

"And what would reality be, Ms. Swan?"

"Reality is that people like you don't come down to play with people like me, unless it was for one night of living dangerously amongst the proletariat. And I don't indulge that kind of behavior, so your words of flattery have fallen on deaf ears. I'm sure your date would be quite offended by your behavior as well, or did you forget you had another woman with you?"

I hadn't forgotten; the image of his arms snaking around Carmen's perfect body would forever be engrained into my mind. And I was not the type of woman to play around with a taken man.

I stood my ground fiercely, the incredulity boiling under the surface of my skin. But as I braced myself for his retort, his features morphed into a sad, intense look of seriousness that I wasn't prepared for.

"Bella," he began softly, his tone light and gentle. I met his gaze, trying to assess his new tone of voice. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm not trying to gain anything from you, just a nice conversation, alright?"

I watched him for several moments, trying to see if he was being genuine. I wanted to trust him, take him for his word, but the idea that he was here talking to me, obviously flirting while he had a date waiting for him, sat heavily in the back of my mind.

However, in that moment, I didn't care about her at all. I wanted to see where our conversation would lead us, even if it ended up hurting me more in the end.

"Carmen is just a friend of mine," he told me gently, seeming to hear my unspoken words. I laughed at him, feeling a little incredulous at the idea of him not dating that gorgeous woman. She was ten times more beautiful than I'd ever hoped to be; if he thought I would believed he hadn't bedded her, he was crazy. I admonished just as much to him, emphasizing that I wasn't so foolish and naive.

"She's gay," he clarified with a shrug.

"She's gay?" I asked, my breath picking up slightly.

_Oh God, how embarrassing..._

"Has been as long as I've known her," he replied, gauging my reaction to his admission.

"Oh," I stuttered. "I didn't mean...I guess I just assumed...I didn't think that — "

"I needed to bring a friend tonight," he clarified quickly. "It's a long story, but I didn't want to show up to this event without a date. Safety in numbers, and all that..." he trailed off.

There was something behind his eyes as he spoke that bothered me, almost as if he was carrying a heavy burden that involved the whole situation. I wasn't sure if he'd wanted to talk to me about it; sometimes, venting one's problems to a complete stranger could be oddly therapeutic. Maybe I could've offered him that comfort, but it was in that moment that my rudely absent date decided to interrupt our conversation.

When I had heard Jake's voice, my first reaction was to be a little ticked. He had told me he wanted to go say 'hi' to someone he knew, but I didn't think he'd be gone for so long.

The whole reason I had invited him to this damn thing was so I wouldn't be alone, so I wouldn't feel like a pathetic loner who couldn't scrounge up a date. But what did he do? He ditched me the first moment we'd arrived.

And now that I was finally having a much anticipated conversation with Edward, the leading man in all my nightly fantasies, Jake shows up and barges into the middle of it. What was worse, he was trying to act like my god damned boyfriend and ignoring my silent hints for him to shut the hell up.

_Argh!_

After a quick reassessment of the nosy, bartending eavesdropper, I glanced back to the two men. Jake was still glaring at Edward, silently daring him with his eyes. However, Edward's gaze was fixed on me, looking at me like he was trying to decipher my motives, almost as if I had done something wrong; I didn't get it.

There was something that was going on between the two of them that I was missing. It was blatantly obvious that these two knew each other; the disdain they held for one another was palpable.

I resolved just then to ask Jake about it once I got the chance. Jake was never the one to dislike someone without just cause, so there must have been some pretty bad history between them that I wasn't aware of. After several seconds of heated glances exchanging between the three of us, I finally noticed Jake start to relax from his tense posture.

"Why don't you go...entertain your guests, Cullen," Jake said steadily, probably seeing that I was becoming more confused by their reaction to one another by the minute. "Isn't that your job tonight? This thing is hosted by the reputable Cullens, right?"

I saw Edward take a shaky breath as his eyes closed lightly. He probably meant the action to be calming, but I could still make out the tension behind his posture. He looked at me steadily, trying to convey something to me with his eyes. I returned his gaze just as intently, watching him as I saw several emotions float to the surface: anger at Jake's heated words, yes; but there was regret, sadness, and disappointment at...what? I wasn't sure.

I gave him a tentative smile, then turned to address Jake.

"Hey, will you give me a sec?" Jacob looked at me sharply, his features stiffening, increasingly guarded. His lips pursed into a tight line, and his eyelids slitted as he thought. He seemed to be hesitant to leave me alone with Edward. I didn't know why, but I knew deep down that his reservations were absurd. Jake had never, ever strayed out of the big brother role he'd taken in my life, but his attitude towards this whole encounter seemed different...disturbing in a way.

"Please?"

After several long, drawn out seconds, Jake nodded and turned towards the bar to get a drink, leaving me with Edward. I watched Jake out of the corner of my eye, making sure he stayed out of hearing distance. Not wanting him to overhear, I motioned for Edward to step a couple feet away with me, hoping to gain more privacy; I wanted to set the record straight without any interruption from my overly protective friend.

If Edward was truly interested in me, and not completely bull shitting me to get into my pants like I had originally assumed, then I wanted to give him the opportunity to do something about it. I wanted him to approach me, maybe ask for my number at the very least. And I didn't want Jake's sharp tongue and insinuations to affect his feelings about me.

"Sorry about that," I said to Edward, whose gaze was fixed on my face. He watched me deeply as his posture seemed to slightly relax, now that we were alone. But his features remained stone straight, apathetic. It was appropriate for him to be so guarded while we were with Jake, because...well... Jacob was being a complete asshole. But for him to be so defensive with me, startled me, and I began to get nervous about his reaction.

"That wasn't about you, Bella," Edward answered, seeming to read the worry in my eyes. "Your boyfriend and I go way back. We haven't been on the best of terms for a while now — "

"He's not my boyfriend," I interrupted quickly, wanting to clear the air before he could make any more assumptions. "Jake has always been a little overprotective of me. He sees me as his little sister, or something," I added with a nervous chuckle. Edward seemed to become even more rigid at my words. I would've thought he'd relax at that news, if he was interested in me romantically, that was. But he didn't; he became even more guarded, his words more clipped.

"Nice to have someone like that in your life, to be there for you when you need rescuing," he replied flatly. His words were sharp, his gaze stony. I just nodded my head in agreement timidly, not able to trust myself to speak clearly.

Why was he treating me that way, looking at me like I'd done something wrong? He was so suave, so kind towards me only moments ago. Now he just seemed so...arrogant.

Maybe he wasn't interested in me like I had thought. Maybe he was just trying to fuck me, and was now shutting down because of Jake's effective cock-blocking skills.

I felt the disappointing feelings of rejection rise to the back of my throat, causing it to tighten so much that it was hard to breathe.

If that was the case, if Edward was simply trying to find a one night stand with his attempts at flattering me, then I was glad Jake interceded. I was glad that he'd had the sense to stop Edward's advances towards me, before I could take him home and allow him to pleasure me, and me pleasuring him, as we most assuredly would have done. The experience would have been amazing, incredible even. But the following morning, when I woke up alone and feeling used, I would have been devastated, heartbroken. I didn't need more angst in my life, and rejection by my mysterious, enticing, and sensually alluring 'Green Eyes' would have shaken me to the core.

"Edward," a tall, blonde man said, approaching us from the dance floor. Edward shifted his gaze away from me, turning to see who'd called him. "Your father's looking for you. It's time for the welcoming speech." I looked at the blonde man; something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on where I knew him from.

"Thank you, Jasper," Edward answered, running his fingers through his wild array of hair. I watched him closely as the line between his brow thickened with tension, and I wanted to reach up with my thumb and rub his skin untill the stress lines disappeared. I watched him as his shoulders hunched, rounded with dejection and stress, and I wanted to massage the tension away, kissing along his neck and shoulders until he melted in contentment.

Every fiber of my being wanted to comfort him just then, for it was obvious he was upset and stressed. But I couldn't, it wasn't my place. I felt the familiar sting of tears well at the corner of my eyes, and I blinked my lids furiously to chase them away.

"I'll be right there," Edward answered his friend. The blonde man nodded, then looked at me with a small smile. The strange sense of familiarity with him swarmed through me once again, but I still hadn't placed where I knew him from. I didn't have long to contemplate it though, because he had turned away, walking back toward the direction he'd come from.

"I have to go," Edward then told me, his eyes softening just slightly. I felt the pain in my throat radiate sharply to my chest; in that moment, I knew that if I didn't say something to him, I'd never get another chance. If I allowed him to turn around, he'd be walking out of my life forever.

Something inside me snapped to attention, forcing all my courage to the forefront. The New Bella took control over my body, and jutted her hand out toward Edward's. My hand grabbed his firmly between my fingers, and I reveled in the way it felt to touch his skin. I experienced a strange twinge at the contact, as if a small zap of electricity coursed through his body and jumped into my own.

He seemed shocked by the action at first, looking towards my hand holding his lightly with a surprised expression, so much so that I almost pulled away. I was just about to withdraw my hand and mutter some sort of garbled, embarrassed apology at my forwardness, when I felt his rough fingers turn and encase my own.

His hand was much larger than mine, the skin rough and calloused. His fingers were thick and long, sturdy and strong looking; they were a worker's hands, built for hard labor. But as he cradled my hand in his, the touch was so gentle, so sensual that I knew those hands were also built for passion; I knew that he could bring a woman such pleasure through small touches and caresses, that I felt my skin heat at the thought.

"It was nice to meet you, Edward," I whispered through my lips, trying to steady my breathing to a calm rhythm.

"You too, Bella," he replied just at softly. The sound of my name on his lips did strange things to my body; blessed things. I felt my skin heat, my legs tingle, and my stomach tighten at the sound of it.

Too soon, he pulled away, leaving me standing there. I stared after him for several moments, watching the way his body moved with a grace and elegance that wasn't common among men. He was heavenly, and my heart ached to be with him.

"Just leave him be, Bella," Jake's voice stated firmly from my side. I looked at him questioningly. "He's a piece of shit, trust me."

"Why would you say that?" I asked, surprised at his strong words. "What was with you two, anyways? It looked like you wanted to rip his throat out. I've never seen you act like that, Jake."

"I've known Cullen for a while," he replied. "We have history." I watched him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate further. When he was silent, I probed for more information.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I know him better than you do. And you need to stay away from him."

"I think I can make that decision for myself," I argued, becoming defensive at his words. I hated it when he made me feel naive, like I couldn't take care of myself or some shit. "I'm not a child, Jake."

"No, but you could get hurt — _will_ get hurt — if you continue to play with fire," he responded, his tone of voice chiding. "Men like that only want one thing, especially from girls like you."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means you're too nice, and guys will take advantage of you."

"I'm fucking twenty five years old, Jacob. I'm not a virgin or ignorant to a man's advances. And if I want to fuck the entire west coast, that's my decision," I growled, glaring up at him so that he'd understand my point.

"Don't get mad, Bells. I just don't want you to get hurt," Jake said softly, rubbing up and down my arms as he tried to appease my anger. He was always so good at calming me when I became irate at some stupid thing he'd said. "And don't say shit like that, it gives me the creeps," he added, squirming slightly like he had a bug crawl down his spine. I giggled, swatting his chest teasingly.

"I still don't understand what your deal with him is," I said again, turning to look in the direction Edward had vacated.

"I know what he truly is," Jake responded, his tone flat.

"And what's that?"

"A rich as shit wolf in blue collar clothing, Bella," Jake replied, looking at me pointedly. I laughed.

"He's what?"

"He pretends to be something he's not," Jacob answered, shrugging his shoulders in disdain. "It irks me how fake he is. I will never understand why a trust fund baby Cullen would lower himself into a blue collar career. It's almost insulting to the rest of us who had to work damn hard to get where we are. He could've been anything with that Cullen money: a lawyer, a doctor, a politician. Instead, he chose to be a fireman, spitting in the faces of all of us who could only dream of the future he had handed to him on a silver platter, then tossed away like it was nothing at all. Asshole..."

"He's a...a what?"

"Fireman," Jake replied, nodding as if it was something to frown upon.

I was silent for several moments as I thought about Jacob's words. I could see his point of view, how he could be bitter and reluctant to respect Edward's career choice. But that was only because I knew how hard Jake struggled to make it through college. If it wasn't for his Native American ancestry, he never would have gotten a grant to go to a university. It only paid for half of his schooling, and Jake worked tirelessly to earn the rest. Despite that fact, Jake grumbled about it the entire time, stating he didn't feel it was right that he got paid to go to school, while others struggled to make the grades for a scholarship. 'We are all Americans now,' he'd say. I thought part of him felt like he was taking advantage of tax payers or something, I wasn't sure. I'd always tried to encourage him, appease him in some way. But he was adamant about his feelings of inadequacy and injustice. I thought he was jealous of those who could pay for it on their own, class envy or something.

I thought about Edward, having the world at his fingertips. Growing up a Cullen must have provided him with every advantage. He probably could have attended any elite institute he chose. Why wouldn't he have done it though? Perhaps, he chose to be fireman for the merits of his work. Maybe he liked to help people in need.

I thought about everything I knew about Dr. Cullen and his wife. Neither of them were part of the snobbish elite, although they were richer than the Queen of England. Maybe part of that humility rubbed off on Edward. Maybe he despised the wealth and what it stood for.

"Maybe he likes his job," I mumbled, mostly talking to myself. Jake snorted.

"Sure," he chuckled humorlessly. "He loves getting up in the middle of the night, fighting fires and scraping bodies off the ground. Sure..."

"Well, why else would he do it then?" I asked, a little ticked at Jake's inferences.

"Not sure," Jake shrugged. "All I know is I don't like him, period." I rolled my eyes. Jake could be such a stubborn ass sometimes.

There was a sound on the microphone, and the entire crowd turned toward the stage.

"Hello. My name is Edward Cullen," Edward's smooth voice stated over the crowd. The audience applauded loudly at his introduction. Several women wolf-whistled, and I heard Jake scoff beside me. "I'd like to take a minute to welcome all of our distinguished guests to this evening's event. The Cullen family is proud to, once again, host tonight's benefit on behalf of the American Heart Association. Many of us have been affected by cardiac disease in one form or another, and we feel it is imperative to have good preventive and diagnostic services in this community."

There was another astounding round of applause as Edward flashed his million-dollar smile, white teeth gleaming under the bright lights. He looked amazing, standing up there confidently and addressing Seattle's finest with poise and grace. I knew right then that he was unattainable, and I'd have to be content with admiring his beauty from a distance.

"With your help tonight, the AHA can provide quality services, such as a new state of the art Cardiac Catherization Lab. With GE's new technology, cardiologists are able to enter a vessel and stent the blockage within five minutes, gurney to table. Our Emergency Room physicians would be equipped with upgraded twelve lead EKG machines. And the radiology department could have a minimum of five Echocardiogram ultrasounds, instead of the now standard one."

Another round of applause was given, and I took the opportunity to glance at Jake. He was no longer glaring at Edward, at he was before, but off to the side of the hall. I followed his glance to find Rosalie arguing with a tall, black-haired female. Things looked a little heated, and we both made our way over to investigate.

"Just leave him alone, Leah," Rosalie was saying firmly, trying to keep her voice down so that she didn't disturb Edward's speech. "We are only friends, nothing more."

"I'm sure you are, you lying bitch," Leah spat back. "You were always only 'just friends.' I remember you were the one that had him the last time. I'm not so stupid to believe you wouldn't spread your legs for him again."

I noticed then that Sam was standing off to the side, his hand clamped down on his forehead as he stared at Leah, incredulous.

"Leah," Sam growled in warning, but she just kept right on attacking my Rose with her vile words.

"You always are open for business, aren't you? You nasty cunt..." Rosalie took one step closer to Leah, her fists clenched at her side. But Sam stepped in front of her, blocking her from ripping the girl to shreds. Sam grabbed Leah's arm and pulled her toward the direction of the exit.

"Rose," I said, coming to her side quickly. Rosalie was panting, her teeth clamped together in her rage. I was actually pretty proud of my friend; proud that she didn't stoop down to Leah's level. Rosalie Hale had a temper that could rival the Grecian gods. No one messed with her, or even had the balls to belittle her in any way. I was shocked that she had stood there, gritting her teeth through it all.

"You okay?" I asked tentatively. She nodded numbly.

"I'm going to go check on Sam," Jake mumbled, making his way towards the exit Sam had left through.

I turned back to Rosalie, and it was then that I noticed her eyes were rimmed with tears. Her expression was pained, and she was staring over to the corner of the room. I followed her gaze and saw that she was locked in a heated stare with a large, good-looking and muscled man. He was sitting at a table, his leg bouncing up and down as if he was anxious about something. His expression was just as tense as Rose's, but he looked at her with almost a longing expression.

Rose hadn't responded to my question; she just continued to stare at the mysterious man. I decided to cut off her line of vision, to stop whatever hold that man had on her. I stepped in front of her, blocking her view. She seemed to relax slightly, taking in a stuttered, shaky breath.

"I'm fine," she said, her words firm.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my hands down her arms comfortingly.

"Leah showed up earlier," she explained, wiping some moisture from the corner of her eye. "God, Bella. This whole night is just so fucked." She laughed mirthlessly before she began again.

"Leah saw me with Sam and freaked. I guess she thought we were back together, I don't know," Rosalie said, shaking her head as she tried to focus. "I didn't realize he still messed around with her. But, whatever...it doesn't matter."

"Then why are you upset?" I asked, my voice calming. She seemed to look through me just then, as if she was able to see the large man behind me. Her expression was sad, forlorn in nature almost. Just then, it clicked. The man behind me was Emmett...her fireman.

_Could this night get any more ridiculous?_

"I thought I could just go about my night, not caring that he was here," she said, her voice monotone. "But he keeps staring at me, and I can't think of anything else, Bella." She looked at me then, and the love and intensity I saw in her eyes made me smile.

"Go to him, then," I said reassuringly. Rosalie shook her head, her features becoming stern.

"I can't do that, Bella," she stated firmly. "He's here with someone else, and I'm not that uncaring, conniving woman anymore. Look at what just happened. Leah is totally pissed right now, as she should be. Sam and I hurt her so badly, it's no wonder she hates me so much."

"That was a long time ago, Rose. And it's not like you knew about Leah. That was Sam's doing, not yours," I reminded her.

"But I kept going once I'd found out about her," she admonished herself, shaking her head deprecatingly. "I fucked him again and again, not caring what he'd done to Leah. I'm not going to be that woman anymore, Bella. I want something more, _mean_ something more than just great sex. I'm tired of the game. I need...I need..."

"You need a drink," I offered, grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. I handed it to Rose and she gulped it down quickly.

"Thanks," she gasped once she'd finished.

"So, how's your night been?" she asked me half-heartedly. I stood there for several minutes, relaying to her the conversation I'd had with Edward. She didn't seem to understand Jake's opinion of Edward either, so she encouraged me to pursue him, if that was what I truly desired.

"Is he still watching me?" she asked softly, looking slightly behind me to see if he was herself. I was about to turn around and look, when I heard a strong voice from behind me.

"Rosalie," the man said, tenderness in his voice as he spoke her name. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I turned to see Emmett standing behind me, a hesitant expression on his face. He seemed nervous, timid in a strange way. I guessed he had thought he'd hurt Rosalie's feelings with his blatant rejection of her advances, and he wanted to come explain that he had a girlfriend. I didn't want to intrude, so I softly excused myself, leaving Rosalie to deal with her fireman alone.

The evening progressed into different speeches by Cardiologists and Cardiothoracic surgeons. I was barely listening to what they said, more interested in the different types of appetizers grazing the white clothed tables.

Loaded down with a napkin of hors d'oeuvres, I walked around the room for several minutes, trying to see if I could find Alice and Embry amongst the crowd. I'd remembered that Alice had grabbed Embry, pulling him towards the dance floor, and decided to head in that direction.

I saw them dancing in the middle of floor, both holding each other closely. I thought it was weird to see them like that, because neither of them had ever had feelings for each other. Embry was what we called 'metro-sexual'; Alice's interest in him was only fashion based. The two of them could spend hours talking about the latest fashion trends, and catwalks in Milan. So, it surprised me to see them both in such an intimate embrace.

That was when I noticed that Alice was glaring at a blonde man beside her, holding Embry even tighter whenever he'd look her way. He was also dancing with a tall, skinny and leggy blonde woman, dressed to perfection in a tight black and white gown that stopped about mid-thigh. I looked closer, recognizing that the blonde man was the same person who'd told Edward that it was time for his speech.

_The fireman..._

That was where I knew him from; he was the soot covered fireman who'd stood outside Trauma Room One as Alice worked relentlessly to save Nikki's big sister, Carissa. Was he the one she'd treated and fell in love with later that day?

It must have been him, the same person. And Emmett was the one who'd been injured by the fire from the car. But Edward....

Images of a broken warrior of death sitting disheveled and blackened upon a hospital chair flashed into my mind. I remembered how tormented he'd seemed, awaiting news on Carissa's survival. Could that have been...? Was it... him?

"Are you enjoying your evening," a melodic voice said beside me, and I knew immediately who it was. Edward was standing next to me, looking down at me with a small smile. I nodded in response, crumbling my vacant napkin in my hand and stuffing it into my black clutch, trying to hide the fact I'd just stuffed my face. I silently berated myself for eating like a pig, for I probably had garlic breath from the pastries.

"It's been lovely," I answered fully, looking around the room at the elegantly dancing guests nearby. "Your speech was very inspiring. It moved me so deeply, I'm thinking of donating my next paycheck in your name," I smiled. He laughed in response, and the sound was golden.

"I don't think that's necessary, Bella," he chuckled. "Just your presence here tonight is more than enough."

"Your mother was very kind to invite me," I answered, looking back to the dance floor and the twirling couples.

"Somehow, I think she had ulterior motives," he grumbled darkly. I laughed.

"Do you think she was trying to set me up with someone?" I asked jokingly. He groaned, running his hair through his hair. I could have sworn I heard him say, 'she better not have been', but I couldn't be sure with all the atmospheric noise.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked me, holding out his hand in invitation. I took it automatically, without a second thought. But I started to hesitate as he pulled me towards the dance floor. He paused to look at me questioningly.

"I'm not a very good dancer," I clarified, scrunching my face a little in embarrassment. "I was cursed with two left feet and an extra strong affinity for the ground. You might end up a statistic if I take you up on your offer." He laughed heartily, throwing his head back in enjoyment. The sight made me smile widely, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to curb my enthusiasm to his reaction.

"I won't let you fall, love," he said through a heartened chuckle. "It's all in the leading, after all. You'll be safe with me."

My mind froze at his words; not because he'd told me I was safe with him, a statement that had so many possible meanings, it would make me dizzy if I attempted to decipher it. What had pulled me up short was his other statement, involving four letters that when strung together could mean a wealth of things blessed things. He had said...'love'...in reference to _me_. I gulped, not able to move another inch until my pulse rate slowed.

"Bella?" Edward asked, gauging my hesitancy with timid eyes. As if I could reject him in any way; I grasped his hand firmly, and followed him to the dance floor.

* * *

**AN: Want to give a big shout out to my betas! Especially Neliz, who has posted her very first fanfic, Modern Bandits & Neglected Dreamers. She has the makings to be a great author, so head over and give her some encouragement as she bravely faces the world of fanfiction. **

**Just out of curosity, I wanted to see how many of you Twilighters read other types of fanfiction. Do any of you read my other fic, Sins of the Father? Just shoot me a holla if you do. **

**Reviewers get another preview, and this one will have Tanya. Dun, dun, dun...**


	13. Chapter 12 The Kiss

Chapter 12 – The Kiss

God, she was amazing. Simply beautiful.

Bella Swan was more than I could've imagined a perfect woman to be. Her body was lean and curved, petitely proportioned to fit her short stature. The cut of her dress left me breathless, showing just enough of her tantalizing body to leave me aching for more. Although she was a vision, it wasn't her body that held my fascination. It wasn't her voice – although hypnotic – that held my interest. It was simply her: Bella Swan, the entire package that made her so enthralling. I could only hope that I would get the chance to talk to her again.

Hope wasn't the best word; _need_ seemed more adequate. I needed to be around her, to learn more about her. She had this essence about her that drew me in, holding every fiber of my being captive, enchanted. It was fascinating, and I had to find out what made her tick.

Our conversation was brief, but it felt so fulfilling to finally speak to her in full and complete sentences. There weren't any awkward pauses, no dead silences. Conversation flowed between us as naturally as breathing. Her sense of humor was refreshing, and I found myself enamored by her brilliant smile.

But then that bastard, Jacob Black, stuck his oversized fucking head in the middle of it and everything changed. I could feel her tense at his presence and part of me wanted to protect her from him. I could never figure out what the prick had against me. From the moment I had met him, he'd seemed to loathe me. I'd never done anything to him — not that I was aware of anyway — to cause him to hate me so thoroughly. But I guessed I shouldn't expect to reason with a Neanderthal; they usually only had but two brain cells to rub together, and he seemed to be lacking in that regard to begin with.

In the past, Black would always go out of his way to hassle me any time our paths crossed at work. Unfortunately for me, it happened quite often. The fire department was commissioned every time someone dialed 9-1-1 and needed medical aid. For something as mundane as a fender bender to as serious as a hostage crisis. I'd often come across Black on his motorcycle, acting like Eric Estrada from Chips, all confidence and swagger, when really, he just looked like a big douche.

I thought once he was promoted to Detective our interludes would be few and far between, and for the most part that was the case. It just seemed, lately, I'd been subjected to his petty shit more than I'd like. Something about the way he was with Bella set me on edge, and I used all my restraint not to rip his arm off the joint. I thought it was a good thing that Jasper interrupted our standoff when he did. I had wanted to end Jacob Black so badly the second his foul arm snaked around Bella's waist possessively. My hackles raised as I watched her squirm underneath him, helplessly trying to get the large oaf off of her.

From what she'd said, they were just long-time friends; he was like a brother figure, protective of her. She didn't see the desire behind his eyes when he looked at her like I did. Their relationship might be platonic in Bella's point of view, but it certainly wasn't that way to Black; at least, he was hoping for something more to develop between the two of them than just brotherly love.

If I had my say — and I would — Jacob Black would not get his wish.

"That was a great speech, Dear," my mother said as I cleared the podium, coming to wrap me in a supportive hug. My father followed right behind her.

"Brilliant, Edward. Really," he said with a large grin, clasping my hand in his firm grip. "Your grandfather shouldn't have a complaint."

"_Shouldn't_ being the operative word there," I retorted lowly so that only our small grouping could hear.

"Keep your head up, baby," my ever optimistic mother replied. "Your father is right. That was a wonderful introduction and you did the Cullen name proud. The night is breathtaking and everything has gone so smoothly. I think I even saw Caius crack a smile earlier."

I laughed softly at our inside joke. It was funny because in all my life, I don't think I'd ever seen an expression on my grandfather's face that didn't encompass his disdain and boredom partnered with his signature heavy scowl. When I was young, I thought it was stuck that way. I remembered Esme always telling me not to make too many silly faces or my face would freeze like that. I thought she about died from laughter when I had innocently asked her, "Is that why Grandpa always looks like he's mad?"

Oh, the young innocence of children...

I left my parents after a couple more minutes of light humor at my grandfather's expense. The man really needed to lighten up, or at least, that was the consensus we'd reached through our discussion. In any case, I was glad that my rare evening with my paternal patriarch was almost coming to an end. I had escaped relatively unscathed. Caius had kept his distance — thankfully — but I could sense the disdain and disapproval he held for me searing into my head like some sort of hate-fueled laser beam.

It was always the case when I was around my father's family. I didn't understand it; I didn't try to. It was always just a given that I was a disappointment to the whole lot of them, and I couldn't really give two shits less.

My cousins should have been crowned the embarrassments of the family. If anyone deserved the infamous Cullen sneer, it should've been those two clowns who in that very moment were drinking loudly and fondling several women in front of the entire room. No one looked poorly on their behavior or shunned it as being in poor taste. They accepted it because they had money — or came from money, it didn't matter which as long as they had enough cash to fund the replacement costs of anything they broke with their obnoxious behavior. They were two of the biggest bums I'd ever known, not having done one thing notable in their entire existence except dodge a couple fake pregnancies and salvage another attempt at squandering the Cullen fortune, or so Aro argued.

I, on the other hand, had saved lives. I'd entered burning buildings, helped rescue trapped victims, even done CPR on a three month old baby girl who'd succumbed to a SIDS episode, and saved her with my quick response. But because I brought home less than six figures every year, my accomplishments were beneath the Cullen name.

_Fuck 'em..._

I had no wish to subject myself to their scrutiny any longer. I had done my part; I had planned the evening and presented it to the illustrious masses. It was only a matter of mere moments until the evening was complete, and I could be Cullen-free once again, my yearly obligation fulfilled.

The blissful temptation of freedom was calling my name outside the ballroom doors. Technically, I could be free to leave and still uphold societal standards, without offending my drunken, glamorous guests. But the thought of leaving without seeing Bella again made my stomach lurch. I had to at least see her one more time. Perhaps get her number so that I could call her up, make plans to finally take her out. Something...Anything...

I watched her from a distance for awhile as she walked around the edge of the dance floor, taking in the ambiance of the night. She was nibbling on a small pile of food she had perched on a napkin. I had to steel my resolve not to start drooling like a dog every time she'd place a morsel of food in between her supple lips. How could eating a garlic pastry be so erotic? I didn't know, but damn if she didn't do it thoroughly. Her little pink tongue would come out and test the food, before her plush lips would encase it fully. God, it was like watching an enchantress seducing her minions into enslavement simply by dancing or singing – only with food, if that made any sense at all. I was so far gone, I'd found ingesting sustenance sexy as hell. Hey, some women were into that kind of thing...

I made my way behind her, not wanting to be caught ogling her from afar. I stopped when my vantage point for admiring her was optimal. From where I stood, I could see the back of her elegant form. The way the dress was cut left a large expanse of her flesh bare, coming to a point at the low curve of her back. Her skin was soft, that much I could tell. I imagined running the tips of my fingers along the slender planes of her back, her skin feeling like silken velvet over my fingertips. The toned muscles of her back moved and undulated as she walked. The soft fabric of her dress hugged her curves as she moved, swayed around her legs like soft rose petals encase a flower.

I couldn't stay away from her for too long. That special something about her that I had yet to identify was calling to me. It was almost like she had a tractor beam locked onto my loins, pulling me toward her without a chance of escape. Pathetic? Desperate? Hopeless? Yes, I was all of those things, and despite how I wanted to quicken my approach, I also needed to slowly take her in completely.

As I got closer to her, I had to fight every instinct inside me not to reach out and run my hand along her exposed spine. I didn't want to scare her with any premature advances on my part, but God, her bare flesh was just begging to be touched, caressed, worshiped.

"Are you enjoying the evening," I said softly as a means to distract my inquisitive fingers from finding their purchase on her skin. She turned and gazed at me, her dark, brazen eyes wide in surprise. It took her a minute to respond, and she looked at me with such curiosity, that I started to feel a little nervous as I waited for her to speak. But once she did, I felt the warmth of her indescribable essence float around me like a comforting blanket.

_My singer..._

Even her speaking voice was melodic and elegant, every part of her a Muse to my ears. She said something lighthearted about donating her paycheck and I laughed in response. She was just so genuine when she spoke; every word from her was like a caress to my long dormant senses.

"I think your presence here is more than enough." It wasn't a lie. Having her here meant more to me than any approval my estranged grandfather could ever give me.

"Your mother was very kind to invite me," she said with a small smile. The way her lips curved into a sensuous smirk made my body twinge with need.

"Somehow, I think she had ulterior motives," I grumbled darkly, looking out into the crowd of dancing couples. I needed a distraction from her before I jumped the poor woman. She laughed lightly at my words, and the sound was classical.

"Do you think she was trying to set me up with someone?" she asked lightheartedly, but I saw red at the mere thought of it. It would be just like my mother, though. That thought hadn't escaped me. I'd just have to find a way to keep Esme's planned suitor for Bella a good distance away from her.

Dancing. It was sure to help me guard her from anyone's advances. I'd keep her busy, not allowing any other male a chance to steal her away from me.

Who was I kidding? I knew the real reason I wanted to dance with her; it was the only excuse I could come up with to hold her in my arms. We'd just officially met, and I didn't even know if we'd reached a comfortable point in our relationship where I could offer her a hug or a peck on her cheek. So naturally, my adaptive mind thought of the quickest way I could touch her without coming off like all I wanted from her was a groping session.

I offered her my hand and pulled her to the dance floor. The moment our skin touched, I felt a shock of warmth trail up my arm, almost as if it was zinging through the marrow in my bones. I looked back at her in shock, trying to decipher if she'd felt it too. She was looking at me timidly, and it was in that moment I realized she hadn't moved.

"I'm not a very good dancer," she said softly with a cute but anxious expression on her face. "I was cursed with two left feet and an extra strong affinity for the ground. You might end up a statistic if I take you up on your offer."

She was embarrassed by her admission, but I found it endearing. The way she blushed slightly, the color rising high in her cheeks and down her neck line, was adorable. I was so far gone, lost to this woman in every sense of the word. Perhaps on reflection, I'll look back on these timeless moments where I was pathetically enslaved by some girl's inherent responses, but I couldn't begin to pull myself away from her now.

"I won't let you fall, love." I wouldn't; I couldn't. Every part of my being would only be focused on her, making sure she was safe and comfortable at all times. How could she not know that I would do anything to make her mine? "It's all in the leading, after all. You'll be safe with me."

As she hesitated once again, I was afraid she saw right through my pretenses. Did she assume I was pushing her into something too quickly? Did she know how obsessed I was with her? Had I said something to offend her?

I quickly reviewed every bit of our conversation thoroughly in my mind, but couldn't find any error on my part.

"Bella?" I asked, ready to offer any apology for whatever I did that had bothered her, but as if she snapped out of some trance, she began following me onto the dance floor.

We made it about half way into the throng before I turned around and wrapped my hands around her tiny waist. She quickly placed her hands on my shoulders, looking anywhere but at me. I was mildly upset at her reaction, wondering why she seemed so uncomfortable all of a sudden. I wanted her to feel content in my arms, to feel right in every way. But she seemed so nervous, so..._shy_. It was a vast change from the Bella I'd met earlier, but somehow, this timid Bella seemed to pull me in even more. I wanted to find out what was wrong, find out why she seemed so distant all of a sudden. I wanted to comfort her, take away any doubt she had about me, any doubt about herself.

I pulled back slightly so that I could see her face full on. It surprised that she had a small smile on her face and her bottom lip held tightly between her teeth. She was gazing at a couple dancing intimately a couple yards away from us, and I exchanged a curious glance between her slight smirk and the couple she was watching. I looked closer at the dancing pair, trying to figure out why she seemed so enthralled by their behavior. The woman was short, almost pixie-like, with a small frame and elegant curves covered in white and black lace. The male was tall — really tall — with broad shoulders and sharp features. The difference between the two was striking, almost comical. The 'Pixie' was holding on to her partner closely, rubbing up and down his arms gregariously while attempting to whisper something seductively into his ear. 'Paul Bunyon' just stood there, holding her waist awkwardly with a pained look on his face, almost as if he was trying to keep from bolting off the dance floor. Bella giggled.

"What's so funny?" I asked her. Besides the obviously disjointed pairing, I didn't understand why she found them so interesting.

"My friend, Alice, is going a little crazy," she giggled, gesturing with her head over to the odd couple. I looked at her questioningly, and she shifted her gaze back to the dancing Pixie, a shocked and bewildered behemoth tight in her grasp as they swayed on the dance floor. "Every time your blonde friend glances at her, she holds onto Embry even tighter," she said though a light giggle, watching as the tall guy looked at the pixie girl like she'd gone crazy.

That was when I noticed Jasper dancing a couple feet from Bella's friends, his gaze fixed on the girl's back with a deadened expression. His hands were held loosely around Irina's waist as they moved off beat to the music. His fists were clenched tight, and even from this distance, I could see his jaw muscles tighten as Alice groped her dance partner's ass. Irina was looking at him with a mixed expression of shock and sympathy as she jetted off furtive glances that followed Jasper's line of vision.

"That's Jasper," I offered in clarification. I leaned down to whisper into her ear conspiratorially. "Why do you think she is acting like that?" My breath fanned across her neck, making the skin there pimple slightly. She closed her eyes for only a small second, and when she opened them again, they seemed to be glazed over for a moment or two. I smiled in the knowledge that she too seemed to feel the electricity between us.

"Umm," she began to respond, her voice a little thick. "She has a thing for him, I think. I bet she's trying to make him jealous. Poor Embry, he looks so frightened. He probably doesn't have a clue why she's acting like that."

"She doesn't have a reason to be upset," I reassured her kindly, smiling down at her warmly. "Jasper is dancing with his cousin, Irina." Bella stopped moving completely, looking up at me with a blank expression. Suddenly, she erupted in loud guffaws of laughter, the sound ringing like warm tinkling bells of mirth. I couldn't help but smile as I watched the amusement spill from her luscious mouth, her head thrown back to leave the narrow expanse of her neck bare. Her skin there was like rich cream, and I wanted to lap at it with my tongue.

"Are you serious? His cousin?" she asked through her chuckles. "That's priceless. Alice is going to freak!"

"Wait, Alice?" I asked, coming out of my skin induced trance. "The same one who works with you in the ED?" She nodded in response, and it seemed it was my turn to laugh madly out of the blue.

"What's so funny about that?" she asked through a grin, watching me with a twinkle of amusement.

"Jasper's been obsessed with her for weeks now. Trust me, she's the only one he's interested in taking home tonight," I responded through my laughter. I tried to keep my voice down as to not upset the delicate ballet that was taking place not yards away from Bella and me, but it was hard. I was thankful that the volume in the room seemed to be climbing in decibels since the champagne and wine had been flowing freely, every guest enjoying the subtle romance of the evening.

"No way," Bella argued, shaking her head back and forth vehemently as she grinned at me. "Alice would have told me if he'd called her. She's been waiting for him, some crazy belief that they were destined to be together. I don't know how she expected him to know, but she's been waiting for him to come and sweep her off her feet and yet...nothing." She held out one palm outward for emphasis. I smiled at her cute little antics.

She looked at me questioningly as I captured her free hand and pulled it slowly to my chest, leaving it right over my beating heart. I massaged the top of her hand with my thumb, making small circles on her smooth skin. I saw her face heat in color, but her eyes never left mine as I caressed her gently, meaningfully.

"I don't think your friend realizes how much Jasper holds her affection," I answered in a deep timbre only the two of us could hear. I was making a point; not only about the star-crossed pair only feet from us, but about the two of us as well. "It seems both of our friends are a little lost when it comes to how they feel about each other. Maybe they just needed the right kind of environment to get things going."

Bella blushed deeply, breaking our eye contact for only a moment as she pulled that plump bottom lip of her into her mouth once again. I was tempted to finger it out myself, then take it into my own mouth to see why it seemed so tempting for her. I could only imagine...

"Maybe we could help them along the way," Bella offered, looking up at me through her lashes. A bare smile touched her lips. My insides jumped at her flirtation.

"Maybe," I responded on a whispered breath, pulling her body closer into mine as we swayed to the music. Bella leaned into me, leaving one hand resting on my chest, the other swung around my neck. Her thin fingers played with the hair on the back of my neck. Her touch was so intimate, it was almost as if she'd been doing it for ages instead of mere minutes. She felt right in my arms, comfortable, perfect. She molded into my body as if she was meant for me to hold, to cherish, to...love.

My hand curved around her waist. My fingertips moved slightly, skimming along the bare skin on her lower back. She felt warm and smooth, supple under my touch. My other hand rested on top of hers, both of our fingers intertwined as we glided along with the music.

Our gazes stayed fixed on each other. Neither of us spoke, but words were not a requirement in that moment. We shared something so thick with meaning and texture that mere words of affection and adoration would have put it to shame. She looked at me longingly, questioningly. I could read the honest hope in her eyes that I was being genuine, a true desire to find the missing element in her life. I wanted to be that for her. I wanted to be the answer to what she needed, her every fantasy and desire mine to fulfill.

But was I enough? Did I have the patience and perception to be a good partner for someone like Bella?

I watched her carefully as I inched my way closer to her glorious mouth, wanting nothing more than to feel her lips on mine. I could feel the question in my eyes, silently asking her permission to place my mouth on hers. What I found was not only anticipation, but acceptance and desire smoldering in those chocolate orbs. Before I could stop myself, my lips encased themselves around hers.

Immediately, I felt the world shift its axis, changing the direction of the orbit. In that moment, its stars and moon only revolved around us. Time could have froze, the world meeting its untimely demise and I wouldn't have noticed.

Her lips were soft and pliant, molding perfectly with mine. I felt her shift slightly in my arms, changing her angle so that she could deepen the kiss. I felt the tip of her warm tongue peek out of her mouth and place the softest touch onto my bottom lip, probing, tasting, seeking its way into mine. I couldn't help the soft moan from leaking out of me as I tilted my head so that I could open my mouth to hers.

As our kiss progressed, I tightened my hold on her waist. The tips of my fingers dipped into the fabric of her dress so that I was only touching bare skin. The hand that was holding hers to my chest left its perch, and trailed longingly along the elegant curve of her shoulder and along her spine, finally resting on the low curve of her back. I felt her tremble slightly against me as I caressed her, cherishing this captured moment in time where we were the only two people in existence.

"Well, isn't this nice," a crude female voice sneered in our direction, and I immediately withdrew from the passion of Bella's kiss. Tanya was standing there with both hands on her hips, tapping one Jimmy Choo with annoyance.

"Tanya," I responded gruffly, not even bothering to offer her a welcomed smile or gesture. I could see Bella looking at me questioningly out of my peripheral vision, but I didn't dare draw attention to her with Tanya's vile presence just aching for an excuse to attack.

"I see it didn't take you long to find a replacement, Edward," Tanya sneered in my direction, using her left hand to point out Bella's grip on my arm. Something on Tanya's hand caught my attention, and it was all I could do to stifle the growl that threatened to come ripping out of my throat. On her finger sat my mother's ring, the very one I'd foolishly gifted to her symbolizing my engagement to her. It was the very ring that I begged her — through countless unanswered voice messages — to return to me unscathed.

Why the fuck was she wearing it now? We'd been over for months without so much as a parting word. I'd figured that after we stared at each other across our bedroom, with her bare and sweating on the lap of the equally nude pool boy would have been farewell enough. If that sure didn't signify that our relationship was over, the fact that I'd packed up all my shit and left the very next day should have been the clincher.

And now, she was standing in front of me like I owed _her_ an explanation.

_Unbelievable..._

"I see you brought what I'd requested you return," I said smoothly, trying with all my might to hide the derision I had for that woman. "I would have thought you'd like to make the exchange a private event."

"I didn't bring anything for you, Cullen," Tanya spat back at me, clenching her hand into a tight fist and withdrawing it from my view quickly. She shifted her gaze to look at Bella, appraising her from head to toe. She had her face turned up in contempt, a mocking sneer plastered on her horribly thin lips. I cringed as I thought about what I'd inadvertently subjected this poor woman to. No one could stand up against the wrath of a Denali, especially one that felt threatened or bested as Tanya sure felt in that moment.

"I see you've been pathetically enthralled with my fiancé," Tanya said to Bella with a fake smile. "I guess his money has a sort of pull to your kind, doesn't it."

I growled at her, my fists clenching as I worked to calm myself. I hated the fact that Bella was here, witnessing this horrible woman attempt to make a mockery out of what we shared between us. I wouldn't let her get away with it, and I braced myself for an attack. But before I could formulate a retort, I heard Bella's kind and soft voice put Tanya in her place.

"I wouldn't know what you mean," Bella said lightly, kindness in her voice even though she'd been subjected to such vitriol from Tanya. "I don't care about money or his Cullen name. I would think you could recognize sincerity when you see it, Ms. Denali. I've only ever thought of Edward as just that, Edward."

"Yeah," Tanya snorted, looking pointedly at Bella's attire. "I can see you don't care about the finer things in life."

"I see no need for frivolous items, Ms. Denali," Bella responded with a kind, indulgent smile. She paused to look at me more fully, reaching up to touch my face with the most caring of caresses. "It's the intangible things that I hold most dear." Bella reached up and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, then excused herself quickly.

I watched her go for several seconds, humbled to have the affection of that sweet, sweet girl. But my momentary bliss was quickly interrupted by a sharp pull on my lapel.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, Edward," Tanya hissed at me. "Coming here with that trifling woman. She's after your money, Cullen."

I swiftly but firmly removed Tanya's grip on my Armani and took a step away from her pungent, heavily perfumed odor. It was a common trait among the richest of women to douse themselves in only extravagant and illustrious scents. It was always a bit overwhelming, and Tanya never failed to live up to her social position as the princess of Seattle's famed Denali's. Bella was so different from her. She was genuine, honest. Nothing about her was done for the approval or acceptance of others. She was her own person, her own being. She was just...Bella.

"I don't think I need to dignify that absurdity with a response, Tanya," I finally answered, trying my hardest to keep myself there with her and not go after Bella. Tanya and I had unfinished business, and I was hoping it would finally come to an end tonight. Although, I didn't want it to be a public scene, and I especially didn't want Bella involved, part of me was glad that my final showdown with Tanya was at hand. She'd give me back my ring, and I'd wipe my hands of her once and for all. Oh, how blissful wishful thinking can be...

"Wake up, Cullen," Tanya responded loudly, and I started to realize that other guests were staring at our confrontation with morbid curiosity. Gossip was the life's blood for those catty women, a fact that Tanya was well aware of. She'd use every opportunity to make herself seem to be the victim in our breakup, for I'd never divulged the reason for our split, hoping to save Tanya's family some dignity. That being said, I would not allow Tanya to embarrass me or my family just so she could save face. Although Tanya's infidelity was not uncommon among the high classes, it wasn't something the Denali family would be proud to broadcast. Many of the upper class housewives would notoriously sleep with the "help"; they just made it a point to never get caught. That was a fact that _I _was well aware of.

"Do you really want to rehash this out here, Tanya? Now?" I gave her a moment to think over my hardly covert threat. If she wanted to talk about why I'd left her now, then I had nothing to lose. She'd be the one with egg all over her face. Besides, my family hated me already. I figured, fuck it! Why not push that wedge down just a little further?

"How dare you," Tanya sneered, coming closer to me pointedly. Was she trying to make a scene? There was no other explanation to her blatantly aggressive behavior towards me. I didn't do anything to her; she was the one who'd betrayed my trust, ruined our relationship.

"Me?" I asked, my voice a slick, steady calm. "I don't think you want to do this now, Tanya. Or have you forgotten _why_ I left you in the first place?"

"You didn't leave me," Tanya responded with widened eyes, her face a shade of green as she quickly glanced around her to see who was watching her performance. "I left you. I was the one who'd called it quits, remember?"

"Aww," I answered, a knowing smirk plastered on my face. She wanted to put on a show for her friends. I wondered which ones were watching. Grace? Constance, perhaps? It didn't matter; I wasn't her toy to play around with. Not anymore, at least. "Then why do you still wear my ring? I would think you'd want to erase any thought of our relationship, if you were the one who called it quits in the first place."

"It was hard for me," she said with a hoity smile, seemingly glad that I was playing her game. She truly thought I was going to allow her to take the high road as the woman scorned while pointing her glossed and polished fingernail in Bella's face, mocking our newly found attraction for one another.

_Fuck. That. Shit._

"I'm sure it was hard for you," I answered coolly. "It often is hard to be found fucking the help."

I heard several people gasp around us, and Tanya looked like she'd been slapped. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella standing by her friend, watching our confrontation with bated breath. Did I go too far? Probably, but I didn't care in that moment. There were only a handful of people I gave two shits about in the entire room. If the small crowd around us found my behavior in poor taste, so be it.

Somehow, I knew my family was probably watching our exchange, their heads shaking in disappointment at my failed engagement. Perhaps they'd theorize that if I'd been able to satisfy Tanya properly, then she wouldn't have needed to seek outside sources to meet her needs. That was something I could hear my fucktard cousins saying while groping up the skirt of a girl who was barely pushing legal age.

Tanya looked at me with brazen hatred, and I honestly did not feel a twinge of guilt at her predicament. She started it; I ended it. Or so I'd thought...

"I can't believe you," Tanya began again, a look of hurt and betrayal on her face. I couldn't have cared less. "How could you spew such filth about me? I gave you everything, stood by you while your family treated you like garbage."

"I didn't need that from you," I answered calmly, my voice a low hum in attempt to keep our discussion between ourselves. "All I wanted from you was your love, Tanya. That ended when you decided my love wasn't enough for you."

Forgetting my obligations, forgetting my mother's ring, I turned away from Tanya and walked toward the balcony. I needed to get out of there fast, and fresh air seemed like the perfect thing to take my mind off of my immediate failures.

The night was crisp, the breeze off the river giving the air just a sprinkling of moisture. I leaned over the railing overlooking the shore. As I watched the night go by, I thought back on my confrontation with Tanya. I'd been so close to making it through the night without incident. I hated the fact that Tanya was able to affect me so much that my manners had gone right out the window. I hated the fact that I'd put my drama with her before getting to know Bella. And I hated the fact that the sweet girl I'd become so fond of witnessed the whole thing in its entirety.

I was embarrassed because that person who I'd portrayed inside that ballroom was not the person I was raised to be. How could I expect someone as loving and kind as Bella Swan to see me for anything less than a cad. I couldn't help the overwhelming feelings of dread and anguish as I thought of the unlikelihood of Bella wanting anything to do with me ever again.

"Penny for your thoughts," a tinkling voice said from behind me, and my eyes automatically closed in response. I released a breath, and with it the tension that had been building, as I felt her come and lean against the railing beside me.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, not willing to look at the disappointment that would assuredly be swimming in her eyes.

"For what?" Bella asked, her voice light and airy.

"For that," I responded, gesturing widely towards the dance floor as I stood up straight. I looked at her meaningfully, trying to communicate the disgust I had for the whole situation with my eyes. I was defensive, I knew it. I was preparing myself for her rejection. One that I was so adamant I'd deserved. But Bella didn't turn me away. She didn't look at me with disgust or apprehension. Her face was soft, loving. Her features were relaxed and smiling. Her eyes were open, filled with sympathy and empathy. My arm fell limply at my side, my posture defeated. Bella looked at me for several moments, seemingly trying to decipher something hidden in my expression.

"Edward," she began slowly. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything."

"I do," I argued, wanting to make her realize that I wasn't that man in there. I wasn't that brazenly crass or cruel. I wanted to be much more than I'd portrayed, and I was desperate for Bella to realize the truth of my sincerity. If not, all was lost between us, and that was something I could not live with.

Bella didn't argue with me again, she just watched me as I sulkily made my way over to a wicker bench that was adorned with plush cushions for the guests to enjoy the night air. After a moment, she came over to me, sitting sullenly beside me as I continued to brood.

"Who was she?" Bella asked after several moments of silence.

"My ex," I answered bluntly. Bella's soft giggle startled me, and I looked at her expression curiously.

"I figured that much out," she said through a chuckle. "I meant what was she to you, besides your ex? It was obvious there was more between you than just a casual relationship."

"We were engaged once," I clarified, not wanting to look at her or see the pity in her eyes as I relayed my sob story. "But she cheated and I ended it. Period."

"Oh," Bella said softly, placing her hand on top of mine in comfort. The feel of her skin on mine sent that familiar twinge of comfort along my hand, and I felt myself sighing slightly in response.

"She seemed mad," Bella said, a smile in her voice.

"Yeah," I responded with a snort. "She was."

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" Bella asked, nudging my shoulder with hers playfully.

"Sure," I said with a smile, draping my arm around her and pulling her into me. We decided to take the back exit along the patio, so as to not run in to anymore problems or disruptions. I had the valet pull my Aston around to the front and helped Bella into her seat. With a smile, I made my way around towards the driver's side.

"Where to?" I asked once I'd plopped down onto the plush leather seat.

"Anywhere," she replied with an excited shrug, lacing her fingers through mine, resting on the gear shift. She felt right sitting there next to me, filling my car with her heavenly scent. She was beautiful in the dim light of the moon, and as I pulled away from the Harbor, I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest man alive to have Bella by my side.

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AN: Thank you for waiting patiently for an update. I've been finishing up my other story so that I could dedicate myself to this one.

Thanks to both Hibbleton & Neliz for the awesome beta work. Hibbleton has a new story that she just released called Empires of the Mind. It is truly original and has a great start. Check it out and tell her I sent you over ;)

**Reviewers get a sneak peek at the next chapter! Lemon anyone?**


	14. Chapter 13 Her Inspiration

Chapter 13 – Her Inspiration

**~ Edward ~**

The streets were fairly busy for a Saturday evening, especially since a light drizzle was forming outside making the blackened pavement fairly slick. I was trying to concentrate on driving safely because the last thing I wanted was to be involved in a fender-bender with Bella in my car, but she was making my efforts extremely difficult.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a chuckle as I watched her squirm in the leather seat of the Aston. She had a contented look on her face, her eyes closed at half-mast as she hummed in satisfaction. The delicate roundness of her hips slightly swayed on the seats as she dug herself deeper into the soft skin.

"Mmmm, I've never felt leather this plush before," she purred; the sound of her smooth voice created a tickle in my throat that seemed oddly connected to my nether regions. I swallowed hard, finding myself desperate for both a cool glass of water and a cold shower. Despite my luck at having this gorgeous woman in my car, I wasn't so stupid to think her easy or cheap, and the types of ideas her soft melodious croon inspired had my gentleman's instincts taking a hiatus.

"Yeah...uh...I g-guess that comes with the territory." I babbled my response like I was a twelve year old boy with my first woodie. I didn't understand how this unbearably sensuous woman was able to affect me so much, but God, she was like a minx.

We'd been driving in the soft sheet of rain for approximately five minutes, not really knowing where we were going or what we planned to do. At that moment, it didn't really matter. I was just thrilled to have the chance to finally spend some quality time with her.

I was completely overtaken by her essence. This close proximity to her was driving me insane. Not only were the little sounds she was making as she enjoyed the luxury of my high priced vehicle – the only opulence I'd allowed myself from my abundant inheritance – but the way she had handled the whole Tanya fiasco was an extreme turn on as well. She stood up to Tanya's blatant degradation and acted like a lady, turning the assault back on the bitch where it rightfully belonged. Screw the erotic images of a naked belly dancer; give me the confidence and subtle sass of Bella Swan any day. Who knew that could be such an aphrodisiac?

"The territory, huh," she said with a little smile, her eyes closed in contentment. "I guess you get all the perks when your filthy rich, right?"

"Uh...yeah...I mean, that's not what I meant," I stammered, trying to explain. "I didn't mean to sound snobbish, Bella."

"No, I get it," she said as she looked at me seriously. "I would totally buy one of these babies if I had the bones to."

"The bones?" I laughed, exchanging curious glances between her and the slick, busy streets.

"Yeah, bones. You know, cash money," she clarified with a horrible ghetto accent. She even threw in a little hand gesture when she spoke. I laughed. The carefree way she was with me made my heart fly, and she was too damn cute with her little gangsta style. "What did you think I meant?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Um..." I trailed off, not wanting to tell her what the word 'bone' used as a euphemism brought to my mind. I would rather not make my first impression with her to be crude or crass. But when I didn't answer her right away, my silence was as good as a confession.

"You dirty dog, Edward Cullen!" she gasped in mock humility, and I laughed again at her cute little face.

"What?" I asked as I chuckled, a slight blush heating my cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella watching me with a suggestive smirk on her face. Her not-so-innocent expression had my curiosity piqued, and I would have given anything in that moment to know what she was thinking.

"You are so bad," she giggled as she shook her head. "You've never heard the term 'bones' before?"

"No, I have. I just never would've expected someone like you to throw it out there in polite conversation."

"What? I'm not gangsta enough for you?" she laughed playfully.

"You're not thug material," I replied, laughing with her.

"So, why do you do it?" she asked. When I looked at her puzzled, she clarified her question. "The firefighter thing. I hope you don't mind, but Jacob explained how he knew you after you left to give your speech." I inwardly growled at the mention of that filthy dog's name, but curbed by jealousy quickly. I shrugged in response, but I didn't think Bella was satisfied with that answer.

"I was going to med school at one point," I began, feeling the same dullness inside of me when I thought of my previous academic goals. They weren't dreams, more like obligations to the Cullen name to make something out of myself. I wasn't happy during that time, and every time I talked about it, I had the same deadened feelings overtake my memories of it. "I wasn't happy in that course, so I chose something different. Jazz and Emmett have been friends of mine for a long time, and one summer break we decided to volunteer to the Hot Shots crew."

"What are Hot Shots?" Bella asked as she watched me intently, enthralled with the pathetic tale of how a boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth turned out to be a blue collar worker. It seemed I was an enigma, and even Bella could see the interest in my decisions to venture down the road less traveled.

"It's a crew made up of volunteer firefighters," I explained. "That summer, there were huge forest fires in California, down by Malibu. We spent the entire summer fighting the fires, saving homes and wildlife, but the biggest rush was when we were trained to parachute into a fire. It was a real thrill."

"So, you were hooked?"

"I guess," I answered. "It was more than just the adrenaline, though. I felt a passion for it that I'd never experienced before. Being a doctor, I would have helped people just as much as I do being a fireman, but I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Public service is different somehow; there was only one other thing that ever inspired me like that before, sort of like a calling. I quit school that next term and applied to the department. That was three years ago."

"Wow," she replied, her tone one of admiration. I thought that was silly — what made me different from other men who'd followed a similar path? — but I smiled at her reaction just the same. "And Jasper and Emmett followed you too?"

"Actually, Jasper was already in one of the academies by the end of the summer. He'd applied while we were still in California. Emmett and I decided to apply, too, after we'd returned."

"Hmm," she mused, then remained quiet for a moment, thinking. "What was the other thing you were passionate about?" she asked after a while. I glanced at her, brows furrowed deep in thought. It wasn't often I talked about it because the wound that coincided with that topic was still sore around the edges. I became immediately defensive any time someone brought it up, which was rare because not many people knew the details about my past, and those that did knew not to bring it up.

"Never mind," she mumbled, probably interpreting my defensive expression correctly. "You don't have to talk about it."

"It's just complicated, Bella," I offered with an apologetic glance. I didn't want to hurt her feelings with my avoidance of the topic, but truth be told, I didn't know her very well; family secrets were not something to divulge to strangers, no matter how gorgeous and enthralling they might be. Bella looked pensive for a moment, seemingly deep in her own musings.

"I know how some things can be hard to talk about," she said softly, almost as if she wasn't speaking directly to me, more to herself. I glanced at her quickly and saw a shadow cross her features as she stared blankly out the windshield, her hand playing absently with the seat belt hugging her trim waist. But in a blink of an eye, her tension was gone. She looked at me with that same soft smile I found to be uniquely hers, and the awkwardness of the moment fled from the car immediately.

"Speaking of passion," I said with a smile, "how are you not signed with a record label, yet?" Bella blushed at my words.

"You remember me that night?" she asked with a timid smile.

"Remember you? How could I forget you? Your voice is amazing, Bella." I didn't want to mention that it was that same voice that kept reappearing in my dreams, feeding my perverse obsession with her. I'd save that little tid bit, file it away deep into my brain right next to my stalker tendencies and imaginary late night visits of hers truly. "I can't believe some talent agent hasn't snagged you up."

"It's not like that," Bella replied with a shy look on her face, the deep blush on her cheeks made her look even more adorable. "I just do it as a stress reliever."

"There was way too much emotion behind your voice for it just to be a hobby," I complimented.

"I can be quite obsessive about music," she agreed, nodding slightly. "You can blame my dad for it."

"Is he an artist?" I asked, curious.

"No," she said softly and the solemn tone in her voice made me take notice. "My dad just had a passion for music. He was never the type to be outwardly affectionate, but he turned me on to his taste in music and it became something we could share; he loved old rock bands from the seventies and eighties."

I couldn't help but note that she spoke of her father in past tense. Whether that was because he'd passed or because they were now estranged, it didn't matter. I could tell that she had a somber edge to her voice when she spoke of him and I didn't want to pry any further.

"Awe, that explains your selection," I admired. "I have to say that Extreme was well known to have the best rock ballad of all time."

"I couldn't agree more," she said. "Although I have to say that Black Sabbath was by far one of the best rock bands of that era; my dad was a huge fan."

"Did he ever get to see them play?" I asked, truly interested in the one thing that Bella seemed so willing to share with me.

"Uh huh," she smiled. "He went to New York and saw them play; Van Halen actually opened for them. That was one of his favorite concerts because it was his first road trip with a couple friends of his. I could just imagine what kind of trouble a group of eighteen year old boys could get into. I'm sure they weren't as innocent as the stories he shared with me, but he did say that listening Van Halen had just released their debut album and being able to watch them rise to fame from the beginning was one of the coolest things ever. He'd often see kids my age wearing old vintage tee shirts with the winged crest and smile."

"I bet he did," I laughed. "I think I might have one myself."

"Yeah?" she asked with a smile. "Now that's something I'd like to see. I think you'd be my perfect match if you only had a couple old albums and a Lynyrd Skynyrd tee to boot."

She beamed at me with a light in her eyes I'd only seen when she was singing. Right then I knew where I wanted to take her and I flicked my blinker quickly to make a turn off the bridge onto Fremont Street. Bella didn't seem to notice that I'd exited the freeway because she was enthralled with another story about her father's adventures when he was younger, this one about the Status Quo concert he caught in seventy-nine.

Before she'd finished her story, we'd parked in front of a large stone building, just under the ninety-nine bridge way. I parked the car and shut off the engine as I listened to Bella finish her story.

"My mother used to go on concert tours with him early in their relationship." Bella smiled as she remembered the old stories she'd been told by her father. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her expression change from excited to nostalgic. Suddenly, her face turned beet red and a look of embarrassment clouded her features. "In fact, my mother might have mentioned that I was conceived after a Peppers concert in Florida."

"What?" I laughed, my eyes bugging out of their sockets. Bella merely laughed as she nodded.

"The Peppers were fairly young in the game; they'd just released True Men Don't Kill Coyotes. It was the one concert my mother remembers vividly; she never was into the whole music thing as much as my dad. She remembers it because that was the concert where after a steamy guitar rip, Flea pissed in a cup on stage."

"Oh my gosh," I chuckled.

"Yeah," Bella laughed. "I guess seeing a tatted up dude take a leak in public was very stimulating, because nine months later, I was born."

"That has got to be the best conception story I've ever heard," I laughed, watching her as she proudly smiled back at me. It was then that Bella noticed we were parked. She looked around, trying to figure out where I'd brought us. When she took a look at the building behind her, I could see her eyes widen with surprise.

"Edward, this is perfect," she said as she turned back toward me, a huge smile on her face. Before I could answer her, she'd opened the car door and was walking towards Jive Time Record store, the largest marketer of old turntable records in the greater Seattle area.

It was late that night, but the lights behind the glass windows were still lit. As we made it to the door, I was glad to find they stayed open until ten that evening. I glanced at my watch furtively.

_9:55...not too bad, Cullen._

Bella swung open the glass door quickly, her shoulders scrunched as she cringed away from the heavy drips from falling off the over hang, not wanting them to drip onto her beautifully done hair. It was in that moment that I realized Bella's shoulders were bare, leaving her exposed to the cold mist in the air. Feeling like an imbecile, I shrugged off my dinner jacket with every intention of placing it on Bella without giving her the opportunity to protest as she rummaged through the countless shelves of records, oblivious.

As I came up behind her, I noticed how the beads of moisture sat in little mounds on her silky skin. Mesmerized, I followed the path of a drop that fell from her shoulders and traveled slowly down her back and disappearing down the sharp 'V' that her dress created, leading directly above the soft roundness of her bottom. I gulped...loudly.

"Oh, Edward," her voice broke me out of my trance. "You didn't have to do that. I'm not that cold."

"Humor me," I said as I held out my coat in offering. Rolling her eyes, Bella offered me her back so I could place it on her. My fingertips grazed her soft skin as I curled the top of the jacket over her shoulders, and I couldn't help the subtle sigh from escaping my mouth on contact. God, her skin felt so smooth, I just wanted to lick it. I felt Bella stiffen slightly at my proximity, so I quickly took a step away, watching as she returned her attention back to the countless albums before her.

At first, she looked through some new wave music, pulling out a couple of the albums that caught her eye. She would turn the cover over, making sure each side was adequately admired before setting it back in its proper place. The reggae section was next, but she didn't spend much time there. As she made her way to the classic rock section, a soft smile curved her lips.

They had every album imaginable. From Alvin & the Chipmunk's Christmas Carols to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix, but the ones that caught her eye seemed to be the ones her father frequently listened to when she was a child.

"I'd inherited all his records after..." she broke off, her voice melancholy. It was then I realized why Bella spoke of her father in past tense; he had died, and much like myself, she had a hard time talking about it. That was something we had in common, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to tell her that part about me, not yet anyway. Maybe it was self preservation; everything between us was so fresh and I didn't know if I could trust her with that knowledge. I didn't like feeling vulnerable, so I kept my mouth shut and offered her my listening ear as she told me countless stories about her father's timeless record collection of which she was now a proud owner.

"Oh my gosh," Bella gasped as she pulled out an old tattered record. Her eyes were wide as she admired the album, but I had a hard time making out the band because the words were worn thin. "I can't believe it. Do you know what this is?"

I looked harder at the cover, trying to make sense of the dilapidated artwork. I saw that the edges were faded, but I could tell that the majority of the background was a brilliant color of blue. The band name was on the top, surrounded by what looked like bird wings. The letters were tattered, like someone had ran their fingers over it several times, reverently worshiping the name like some kind of groupie.

"This is the Eagles first album," she mused softly, running her fingers over the faded name. "I can't believe it."

"Was your dad a fan of the Eagles too?" I asked as I watched her awed expression.

"No," she answered slightly. "I mean, yes. Kind of, I guess. My grandfather loved the Eagles. It was sort of the only thing him and my dad agreed upon. They didn't have the most loving of relationships. My dad's taste in music combated with my grandfather's sensitivity. But he always said the Eagles were the one thing they could listen to and not argue about. When they reunited in ninety-four, my dad planned on catching one of their concerts in honor of his late father. He took his dad's death pretty hard – many things left unsaid and all that – so he wanted to do something in honor of that shared past time."

Bella left it at that, not continuing on with her story. I wanted to know so badly if her father ever caught that concert, but the way she became so melancholy, I assumed that he never did. Perhaps his death kept him from fulfilling that oath, but I didn't want to push Bella for answers. I just placed my hand on her back, softly offering her support as she thought of her father, gazing at the album held reverently in her hands.

"Regret..." she mumbled softly. "Have you ever had one, Edward? I'm not talking about silly, every day regrets that seem so mundane when you look at the big picture of life. I'm talking about life-altering choices that we make that change our course. Have you ever been plagued with the what-ifs?"

"I've had my share of regret, Bella," I answered softly, looking at her from the side as I watched her features freeze pensively. "But I don't dwell on them. I do what I can to correct them, and if I can't, I find a different avenue back to where my life should have been."

"How can you tell?" she asked almost desperately, looking at me with deep, fathomless eyes. "How do you know where you should be in life?"

I thought for a moment, for she seemed so adamant in her questioning as if my answer would hold the key to what her heart desired. Was she searching for something? Perhaps feeling like her life was off kilter somehow and was desperate to find her way back? And what did I know about it?

Nothing, really. I was just the boy who'd been a thorn in his grandfather's side since the day of his birth. I was the one who'd defied years of cultured upbringing and sophisticated cultivation that should have lead me to the top of the hierarchy. Did I have regrets about my decisions in life? In truth, despite the chastisement my choices have wrought from my family, the answer was a resounding no.

"I've always done what feels right, Bella," I answered her finally. "I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I haven't had regrets. But for the most part, I think I'm where I am right now because I did what I felt was good and just, despite what anyone else's opinions were. I think the hardest thing I've ever done was to refuse my grandfather's dream for me and follow the path that I wanted."

"I admire that in you," she said with a sad smile. "I've always wanted to be that kind of person, a doer instead of a hopeless dreamer."

"Oh I dream plenty, Bella," I said with a chuckle. "And I refuse to believe that you live your life any less than to the fullest. You have so much veracity and spunk in you that I find it hard to imagine you receiving anything less than what you deserve."

"And what would that be?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow and a slanted smirk. "What do you think I deserve out of life?"

I stepped closer to her, reaching my hand out to cradle her face in my palm. She leaned in to my touch, her eyes narrowing slightly as her smile faded into a sort of defensive grimace, as if she was holding herself back somehow. In that moment, I saw her vulnerability. I didn't know if she'd meant to reveal so much to me with just her simple words, but I knew that she didn't think she deserved any more than what she'd been handed. I didn't know much about her, but I did know that someone as amazing and kind as her shouldn't feel anything but cherished and loved.

As I stood there watching her, searching her eyes in hopes to find her soul, I wanted to tell her that she deserved anything and everything she could ever hope to have. I wanted to tell her that she deserved happiness and fulfillment, but most of all unadulterated, passionate love. And I wanted to be the one to provide her that.

"Um, excuse me but the store is closing," a greasy-haired kid said from behind the counter, effectively ruining the moment. I swallowed hard as I stepped back from Bella, trying to reign in the overwhelming emotion our short conversation had inspired. I watched as Bella glanced at the album one more time, then made a move to return it to the shelf. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand jetted out and stopped her action. She turned to me with a questioning glance and I returned it with a warm smile.

"For your dad," I said, taking the album from her. Before she could object, I marched up to the counter with the old cover tucked under my arm. I paid for it quickly and met Bella by the glass door. As I approached, I noticed Bella wiping furtively under her eyes. My stomach dropped. Had I overstepped my boundaries? Had I offended her by buying her the album?

I didn't want to upset her―that hadn't been my goal―I just wanted to do something special for her. Since she seemed very close to her father, so much so that his love for music sparked her own passion, I thought it was a perfect idea. But I didn't want her to cry. The greasy kid followed behind me so that he could lock up behind us; I didn't get the chance to question her about it until we were safely back inside the car.

"Bella, I'm sorry if I was being thoughtless. I―" I began once my car door was shut, but was quickly cut off by a blur of movement closing in fast. Bella had flung herself over the center console and into my lap, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

"That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," she mumbled into my neck, the wetness of her tears dampening my white shirt slightly. I wrapped my arms around her and began rubbing her back soothingly.

"Baby, don't cry," I crooned, hoping that I hadn't screwed this whole night completely.

"I'm not...crying," Bella hiccuped, and I chuckled at her all-out lie. "I'm just really surprised and...overwhelmed."

"Why?" I asked, pulling her slightly back so I could look at her. She was adorable, all ruffled and tear soaked. She still looked incredibly hot nevertheless.

"Well, no one has ever really listened to me before," she explained. When I looked confused, she continued. "I know I can be a little long-winded when it comes to music. I usually just ramble on until someone either stops me or they become incredibly bored. I've never met someone, especially a guy, who not only listens to me but did something as thoughtful as buy me an album."

I grimaced slightly, not liking the fact that anyone would ever have the balls to act like her interests didn't matter. How could anyone not see the passion inside this woman and not admire and treasure it? I stared into her gleaming eyes for only a moment as I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. Slowly, I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, holding her head lightly in my hands.

"No one should ever treat you like that, Bella," I whispered against her skin. When I pulled back, I saw that Bella's eyes were closed. I took the opportunity to really look at her. Her essence was not superficial, but full of depth and heart. It was transcribed in her elegant features, gracefully linear and feminine. She had a sort of glow, almost as if her soul shined from the inside, illuminating her porcelain skin to a subtle hue of cream. She was gorgeous, an old world beauty. I had to feel her again.

Before I could appropriately evaluate the decision, I found myself leaning in to press my lips to hers. The moment they touched it was like our souls sighed in relief. Maybe it was just the tension seeping out of the car, I didn't know. All I could register in that moment was how utterly right it felt to have her in my arms, her lips pressed eagerly to mine.

I felt her tiny hands wrap around my neck, her fingers lacing deep into my hair as she pressed her body closer to mine. She tilted her chin slightly in invitation, and I eagerly took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I could feel her leg swing around mine, effectively encasing herself directly over my lap. Her dress was a tight sheath around her hips and had ridden slightly up her thighs in order for her to straddle me, but I didn't mind. Neither did she.

My hand rested against her cheek, feeling her jaw move as she expertly explored my mouth. I let my fingers travel down her slender neck and across her bare shoulder. She felt so smooth under my touch and I hoped I'd soon have an opportunity to explore her wonders more completely. Of its own volition, my right hand wrapped quickly around her lower back and began caressing the skin with my thumb, the force of my movements pushed her body more flush onto mine, but she didn't protest. She moaned at the feeling, and I thought that little sound would be my undoing, for I wanted nothing more than to lay her down in my back seat and take her thoroughly and repeatedly.

I pulled back suddenly, the reality of what we were doing in a vacant parking lot becoming painfully evidenced by my raging erection. Bella felt my reluctance and stiffened above me. As if she had just noticed how she was sitting on me, she began fumbling with the hem of her dress, making incoherent excuses for her forwardness.

I hushed her with a soft kiss, cutting off her ramblings at the source. She looked at me with a sheepish expression, her flushed face painting her embarrassment across her features.

"I just think we'd should probably get a move on, Bella," I said softly, running the pad of my thumb across her cheek, catching the side of her swollen lips with each passing. "As much as I'd love to take things further, I definitely don't want to do that in the parking lot of Jive Records." She smiled softly and nodded before she climbed back over into her own seat. I watched her as she timidly smoothed down her dress, effectively hiding her long, luscious legs from my view.

_Damn, my big mouth..._

"Where to?" she asked, slightly breathless. "Night is still young. Anything on your mind?" I glanced at her for a moment, quickly assessing her features for the barest hint of embarrassment. To my surprise, she didn't seem shy at all, only slightly flustered. She saw me watching her and she turned to smile at me.

"Not sure," I answered her. "What do you feel like doing?"

"Hmm," Bella said, looking me over with a slightly naughty look on her face. It was probably my overactive imagination at play, but I wanted to know what she was thinking, especially if had anything to do with the erotic scenarios currently flashing through my mind. "Wanna head over to my house? Maybe see how this old record sounds on my turntable?"

"Sounds like a plan?" I grinned, the force of it hurting my cheeks. It was obvious that neither one of us was ready for the night to end, and as I pulled onto the darkened streets, I couldn't help the shit eating grin that plastered onto my face.

_How the fuck did I get so lucky?_

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**AN: I am blown away by how many peeps have added this fic to their fav/alerts. Thank you so poopin' much!!!**

**Wanted to give a big thanks to Hibbleton & Neliz. These girls have given me so much advice and I think we have the next three chapters mapped out. I'm going to finish up my last chapter of Sins, then dedicate my time to this story, so updates should be coming out quicker. Thanks to all those that are religiously reading & reviewing!!! You've made me smile and fuel my fire to write. **


	15. Chapter 14 Witchy Woman

**Thanks to the Hibs, Neliz, and MsMayfly for taking a look at this one. I want to say peace out to the Hibs, for she is heading to Vegas to party with some fanfic peeps. (Don't do anything I wouldn't do, my friend). **

**Also, want to give a shout out to Neliz. Her story MB&ND is getting really good and I just think it is killer. **

**If you haven't read either of Hibbleton's stories, what the hell are you doing? Read, now!**

**Lastly, I don't own them... yadayadayada....**

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Chapter 14 – Witchy Woman

~ Bella ~

Edward looked amazing, tall and well proportioned, and he walked with an elegant grace few men could pull off. His white shirt was untucked from his black trousers; the black tie was undone and lying limply around his neck. His features were relaxed, his mouth turned up in a casual smirk that made my heart pound and thighs tingle. To say that he encapsulated my every fantasy was putting it mildly.

I was nervous, that much was obvious. When we'd first entered my bedroom, I was so preoccupied with whether or not I should change out of my dress, I had managed to work myself into a slight panic attack. What was appropriate for situations such as these? This wasn't something I did often – never, in fact – so I didn't know what the rules were. I began fidgeting with my hands and I was sure my eyes were as big as saucers. Thank God Edward was too busy surveying the room because I was sure I looked a mess.

My heart was pumping loudly as I watched him peruse my belongings; the soft sounds of the Eagles 'Taking It Easy' playing from the old record player I had stashed within my entertainment center offered a relaxed atmosphere. Despite the cool notes from one of the greats, I was a complete wreck. I still couldn't believe he was actually here...in my bedroom...alone...

My mind kept going over different outfits to put on. Should I go with the normal sweats and tee that I'd wear on every other night, or should I change into that black and pink laced sleep set I had, the one with the barely there shorts and tank? I finally gave up and just opted to stay in my dress for now. The shoes, however, were discarded immediately, thank goodness...

I tried unsuccessfully to calm myself from there, having that tough decision out of the way. To keep myself from going completely ape shit, I sat down on the edge of the bed with my hands clamped together in my lap to keep from fidgeting.

I guessed what bothered me the most was how utterly right it felt for him to be standing inside my room. Maybe _bothered_ wasn't the right word. It actually thrilled me to not have any reservations about him. Perhaps that was why I was screaming at myself inside my overly analytical brain. I was usually the one who was the most reserved out of the three of us: Alice, Rose, and myself.

Reasonably, I knew that just because he was standing in my bedroom didn't mean anything was going to happen between us. But I also knew that if he approached me, I wouldn't hesitate to allow him to take me. And that was why I was so damned anxious.

I hadn't thought twice about inviting him in. Once we'd reached my townhouse, I felt so comfortable with him; I didn't even question my lack of reservation. It wasn't like me to invite strange men into my home, but after our evening together, I'd shared more with Edward than anyone I'd ever known.

The incredibly attentive way he'd listened to me talk about my passion for music made me feel like he really cared. He didn't zone out on me like most people had done; he took what I had to say and actually processed it successfully enough that it inspired him to give me one of the most heartfelt gifts I'd ever received. I was a goner from that moment on. It didn't matter how gorgeous the man was, he was permanently and unequivocally the sexiest man I had ever met. Not to mention the fact that he had an appeal about him, warm and inviting; I felt my safe guards melt away. I wanted him there: in my home, in my bedroom. I just wanted him, period.

"How long have you lived here?" he asked as he walked casually around my room, taking stock of the little knick knacks and old photographs I had accumulated over the years. My bedroom was quite cozy and I was proud of all the things I could call part of my home. But seeing the man I'd pinned for standing among the things that meant so much to me caused a small twinge of excitement to spark in my stomach.

"About four and a half years, I guess," I answered him fully, trying to slow my rapid heart rate so I didn't start sweating like a stuffed pig. I needed to calm my nerves; even if things didn't progress past a chaste kiss, I wanted to seem alluring, not certifiable. "Rose's parents bought this townhouse for her when she went away to college. Alice and I met her in our freshman year and the rest is history, as they say. We moved in by that summer break."

"You three seem very close," he commented as he took in my countless photographs of the three of us together.

"As close as sisters," I agreed, smiling as he approached my two favorite pictures. They were taken after our college graduation. I liked to refer to them as the 'before and after' pictures. The first one was of the three of us, donning our black graduation robes with big, cheesy smiles on our faces. The second one was a little more risquѐ evidence of how our graduation night had progressed from three seemingly innocent co-eds, to three overly sauced up women on the prowl. In fact, it probably wasn't appropriate to have out among company, but we had laughed so hard when we'd seen it the next morning that it had a special place in our hearts.

I saw him smile as he picked up the photograph in question. It was taken at our graduation party that Rose's parents insisted on throwing us. Ali, Rose and I were dressed in barely there attire, all obviously three sheets to the wind – as my grandfather would've said. Rose was groping my left breast while my hand was unceremoniously swatting her ass. Alice was wedged in the middle of both of us, pulling down the front of her dress to reveal an ample amount of cleavage. We each wore what I'm sure we thought were an incredibly sexy expressions, which in reality made us look like we were on the verge of seizing.

I thought we about died from laughter when we looked through Rose's camera the next morning, taking inventory of the recorded history of that night. Many of the photos were a blur; some didn't even make it past the first round of scanning as Alice deleted the ones that made us look horrid. But the pictures that did make the cut served as vivid reminders of a hazy night of drunken debauchery.

"College," I explained, as if to say 'enough said'. Edward nodded in agreement, a knowing smirk on his face as he placed the frame back in place. "Do you have any wild stories of college nights past?"

"I have a few," he confirmed as he came to sit by me on the bed. He ran his fingers through his glorious mop of bronze goodness as a slight smirk grazed his lips. The action was so damn sensual that I felt myself start to heat at his actions. "College was a little bit of a sour time for me."

The somber tone in his voice made me take notice, pulling me out of my heated trance.

"What do you mean?" I asked, wanting to offer a comforting ear. He'd been so wonderful as he listened to me spill my heart out about my father that I felt I needed to return the favor. No, I _wanted_ to be there for him. I wanted to be able to be the person he confided in. Even if he didn't know me very well, something inside of me ached to be that for him; like I needed it to feel whole again.

"I went through a lot of changes in college," he began softly, looking at his feet as he spoke. "I had my share of fun, but for the most part, that time meant a lot of discovery on my part."

"How so?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow curiously. He must have heard the suggestive tone in my voice because he chuckled and shook his head slightly.

"Not that kind of discovery," he laughed. "Although there might have been too much exploration of the opposite sex, I'll admit. I told you already that I was Pre-med once, but it never felt right to me. I only did it to seek my grandfather's favor. He never really held much love for me."

"I can't believe that," I said with a grimace. "He loves you, despite what your choices were. How could he not? You stood up for what you felt was right, Edward. You worked hard to get where you are right now. And I know firsthand how hard your job can be."

"I know," he agreed numbly. "But it wasn't what _he _wanted. And I've always had a perverse need to please him. Like I was seeking his approval or something, I don't know. I think that's what fueled me to get involved with Tanya Denali in the first place. The only time I have ever seen a semblance of approval from that man was when we announced our engagement."

"How odd," I said without thinking and had the sense to look sheepish at my outburst. Edward laughed at my reaction.

"To you and me, of course that would seem weird. But the union of the two most prominent families in Seattle was like mixing the Hatfields and the McCoys. Our families never got along; instead of homicides, they'd hit each other where it really hurt, in the public eye. Perhaps with our imminent marriage, all that would've changed. I think that was my grandfather's hope, at least."

"That's a lot of pressure to put on you," I commented. "And a lot of stress to put on a new relationship as well."

"I guess that's why our relationship didn't last through it all," he retorted with an uncaring shrug.

"That wasn't for any lack of effort on your part, I bet. I have a feeling that you are the type of man to stick to his guns. I can see you being a very dedicated boyfriend."

"I was," he answered. "But I think part of me never was content to be with Tanya. I was with her for the wrong reasons, and part of me was relieved when I found her cheating. Is that horrible to say?"

"Yes, and no," I answered with a timid smile. "I mean, I think it's horrible that you felt stuck in a relationship that you were not one hundred percent thrilled about. I'm glad that you were able to leave it without feeling like the one at fault."

"I don't know," he said as he combed his hair once again. "Maybe I drove her to that with my lack of enthusiasm. Maybe she sensed that I was in the relationship for all the wrong reasons. I know that she was disappointed with my choice to leave medical school. The biggest fight we ever had was about that decision. I think she even used the words 'false advertising' in the heat of it. That was the moment I started pulling away. Maybe I did drive her into an affair."

"Did you love her?" I asked, then immediately regretted my words. "Never mind, Edward. That's none of my business."

"It's okay, Bella. That's a valid question," he responded quickly. "I think I _wanted _to love her, more than anything. It would've made my life easier to just do what was expected of me. And I needed to make a name for myself that wasn't clouded by my past."

"And you needed a relationship to do that?"

"I guess that sounds silly, doesn't it?" Edward laughed. "But at the time, I wanted to do anything I could to please my grandfather. I didn't grow up with the family influence as you may believe. After my parents died, I went to live with my mother's brother and his wife. Carlisle was an established physician in Seattle before he moved to a small Washington town to live with his wife, Esme. We weren't around the family and my grandfather didn't like that at all."

"Why?" I wondered. "If Carlisle was happy, why did it matter where he practiced?"

"It's all about outward appearances for my grandfather, Caius," Edward answered in a bitter tone. "Carlisle left a prominent position as the Chief of Cardiothoracic Surgery for a small practice in a podunk town. Not much opportunity for stature and honor when you're out of the lime light. Caius fought with Carlisle over his decision but it didn't matter. He was incredibly happy with Esme and they made a beautiful life together. When I went to stay with them, they sheltered me from the life in society. I wasn't subjected to all the drama that came with being a Seattle Cullen. I was a small town boy who lived like a normal kid. I made friends and went to public school, just like any other person. Carlisle and Esme provided me with everything: love, kindness, nobility, and sense to do what was right."

"I can see that in you," I said softly, nudging his shoulder with mine playfully. Edward grimaced and made a motion like he was going to argue, so I continued quickly. "I mean that. What you do to help people is amazing, Edward. Your grandfather should be proud of that."

He blushed softly as he shrugged, trying to go for nonchalance. I could see through his mask, though, and I could tell how much his grandfather's disapproval of his chosen life weighed heavily on his heart.

"I had so many dreams and aspirations as a child that seemed to have disappeared with my parents deaths," he said so quietly that I had a hard time hearing him. He looked so sad in that moment that I reached my hand over to his and squeezed it comfortingly.

"Do you mind telling me what happened to them?" I asked just as softly. He hesitated for a moment, looking like he wasn't sure he could trust me with something so personal. "I understand if it's hard to talk about. I just want to be here for you, like you were for me." I squeezed his hand again, both in support and in thanks.

"It's not that I don't _want _to tell you, Bella. A lot of it can be misconstrued, and my grandfather spent a lot of time trying cover up that family secret that it is literally difficult for me to discuss."

"Oh," I said softly, slightly disappointed that he didn't feel he could tell me. "I see."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Bella. I don't talk about it to anyone, not even Carlisle or Esme."

"Why?" I asked, shocked that he'd have to keep something as important as his parents' deaths quiet. When Charlie died, I had to talk to a great many people to work out my heartbreak, and he had died under normal circumstances. The way Edward was reacting made me think that there might have been foul play behind his parents' deaths. I couldn't imagine not being able to discuss it. That would be a lot to keep bottled in.

"It was hard for us all around, but for no one more than my grandparents. Elizabeth was their only daughter. She was beautiful and cherished, the light in my grandfather's eye. When she died, he became this hardened stone of a man, and my grandmother retreated into herself."

"It must have been hard for you as well," I pointed out, noticing that it seemed to be a pattern for Edward to leave his feelings on the back burner, first addressing what others felt and needed. It was an incredibly endearing quality; one that I knew personally could also be self-destructive.

"Yes, it was. I loved both of my parents, but my mother was something completely different. She had this amazing essence about her, almost ethereal. She was kind, loving, compassionate, and incredibly talented. You see, she was a concert pianist. She transformed her amazing passion for life into her work, creating the most sensual and heartbreaking ballads. She wrote a song specifically for me that she'd play when we were alone. I can still remember the smell of the ivories mixed with the scent that was just her...my mother."

"You seem to have great memories of her," I said with a sad smile, rubbing the back of his hand with the pad of my thumb.

"I do," he agreed. "But the pain of what happened to her overshadows it all."

"You can tell me what happened, Edward. I know you can't right now, but if there is ever a time that you need to just air it out, I will listen. You can trust me to not repeat anything you say to me."

"Thank you," he said softly, patting my satin covered knee. His hand stayed there for several minutes, and my skin tingled where he touched, immediately bringing that heat back into my body that had so quickly dissipated before. "You know, you have a lot of the same characteristics as my mother."

"Really?" I said as I raised my gaze to his, blushing slightly. I was flattered to be compared to a woman who he held in such esteem that it made me immediately self-conscious.

"You have the same drive as her," he said as he looked at me. His eyes lingered on my face, his expression thoughtful, as if he were trying to figure something out in my own eyes. "The same burning passion exists in your soul. You are inspiring and heartfelt —"

"Edward," I said interrupted, feeling slightly breathless. There was a small lull in the music as the recorder switched tracks, making my voice the only sound in the room. "You don't even know me."

"I do," he argued, reaching out his hand to caress my cheek with just the tips of his fingers. My skin heated and tingled, charging all my nerve endings in spot where he touched me. "I know what's important about you just by the way you are around me: family, friends, those that are in need... I've seen your compassion and your heart in the way you sing. I can feel your love and enjoyment of life by the way you speak, despite all who have hurt you in the past. And I can see the absolute devotion you have to all that is good. There are only a select few that wear their heart on their sleeve but still manage to be strong. That is you, Bella Swan."

"How do you know so much about me?" I asked on a whispered breath. "You barely know anything about me."

"I feel like I've known you all my life," he answered, making my heart melt and break at the same time. His fingers began to trail down my jaw, caressing the skin just behind my ear until he was cupping my neck in a sensual grasp. "I think there is a part of me that always has. It's the part that came to life the first moment I saw you, the part that recognized your voice from the first note that left your precious lips. It's the voice of my angel, my dream..."

"You can't say things like that to me," I retorted softly, barely loud enough to register that I had spoken at all. I was trying my hardest to fight the way his words made me feel. It would be incredibly easy for me to fall for him and I didn't want to seem like that pathetic romantic who swooned hopelessly at the sweet words of a gorgeous man. Having an impromptu one night affair was one thing; it was completely out of character for me but I had resolved some time that evening that I would make it a reality with Edward.

But now, listening to his sensuous words fueled a sense of urgency deep within me. I desperately wanted what he said to be true. I wanted him, ached for him, and I needed to be stronger than that, more resolved; to have more conviction. But his hold on me was beyond unbreakable, and I could see the finality of it resolve deep within his green eyes as they stared into my soul.

As the steady beat of 'Witchy Woman' started reverberating from the player across the room, he began to inch his way towards me, never breaking his gaze on my own eyes. Before I could fight it or even object, his lips were on mine. In that moment I realized that I didn't want to fight it. If anything, I wanted more. So much more.

I wanted his hands on me, on every part of my body. I wanted to feel him pressed up against me, his skin touching mine. I wanted our passionate kisses to escalate until I was panting and trembling, on the precipice until I was begging for more. And yet, it still wouldn't be enough to squelch the desire I felt for him in that small space of time.

I pushed myself up so that I was kneeling next to Edward, placing myself about a head taller than him. From that angle, I was able to deepen the kiss while entwining my fingers through his hair, something I'd wanted to do since the first moment I saw him. My tongue sought entrance between his plush lips and he granted me access immediately. The taste of him was indescribable, almost as if it was created for my taste buds alone. I felt Edward's strong hand — the one that wasn't holding me to him — wind around my lower back, making the exposed skin there pimple under his touch.

"Edward," I moaned when he released my mouth, moving his lips down my neck. He began sucking and tasting the skin there until I was panting for more, always more...

"Bella," he whispered against me, and the tone in his voice made the way he said my name seem like a plea, as if he was a desperate man seeking some sort of absolution. I'd give it to him if I had the power to do so. In that moment, I would give him anything and everything, my very essence if it meant his happiness; even if it were for this one night, this one moment in time.

I reached behind my neck and unfastened the clasp that held the top of my dress together. The satin fabric cascaded down my body until it pooled at my hips, revealing my bare chest to him. It was an offering, a plea of my own for him to take whatever he needed from me.

He paused in his motions, looking up into my eyes with a hundred questions undulating behind in his own. I didn't want to think or pause from what was happening between us. It felt so right that I didn't want to question it. I just wanted to feel; without regard or restraint. Even as he stared at me with a sort of deference, I could feel the heat boiling inside of me, urging me forward, fueling my desire for him.

There were no words of approval uttered by either of us; his fathomless questions went unspoken and yet resolved by the fire burning between us. I was hungry for him and the way he looked at me like I was something to devour made my insides ache with need.

He moved with reverence and certainty, trailing his fingers down my neck towards my collar bone, continuing downward until his tender touch rested directly above my swelling breasts. His heated gaze followed the path of his fingers and I watched his expression turn dark and wanton. Slowly, he edged his mouth closer to my skin. My breaths came out in short pants as the anticipation to finally have his lips on me built. When he kissed my skin, we both moaned in approval. I felt my eyes roll back and my head fall limply to the side as he expertly took my peaked tip into his mouth, twirling his tongue around the sensitive skin.

His arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me further into him, all while lavishing each of my breasts with equal attention. My fingers were ravaging his hair, pulling and manipulating the strands into a mess of silken passion. Wanting less clothing between us, my fingers left his hair and traveled down to his white shirt, loosening up the buttons as far as I could reach with my body so close to his.

The sides of his shirt widened and I ran my fingers across his chest, spreading it further open. His shoulders were round and thick with corded muscle. His skin was smooth but held that course texture that could only belong to a man.

I was aching and burning, wanting more than just our timid touches and caresses. I wanted deep penetration; pounding and throbbing centers to meet in ecstasy, and I wanted it now.

There was only a small zipper that kept my dress in place. With a slight flick of my wrist, I would be completely bare for him, open and waiting for him to claim me, to make me his. Somewhere in the back of my mind, my insecurities were whispering, telling me that he might reject such a forward gesture. The more prominent, domineering voice told my self-consciousness to shut the hell up, and urged my hand toward the last obstacle that kept me covered.

Without doubt or hesitation, I pulled the zipper down the small inch, allowed the cut of the dress to widen enough so that it fell from my hips, pooling at my knees and exposing my body with only the barest of black lace that were my panties. Even that fabric was see-through, and there was no way Edward could misread my intentions.

I heard him take in a stunted breath as he looked at me fully. His eyes trailed from my bended knees to the tops of my breasts with a sort of awed expression. It made me feel cherished, worshiped, and it fueled my desire to have him even more.

Slowly, I laid back on my elbows, kicking the dress away from my feet so that I was ready for him. I looked at him with raw lust, my eyes inviting him to come to me. It only took a moment for him to respond. His fingers nimbly worked the last few buttons on his shirt free and quickly discarded the fabric. His body was glorious, tanned and trim, outlined with thick muscle and sinew that contracted and expanded as he moved. I squeezed my thighs together as I watched, my mind immediately concocting all kinds of things I'd like to do to him.

Somewhere in my haze of passion and heat, Edward moved on top of me, bringing his mouth down on mine with urgency. His tongue plunged into my mouth, licking and playing a sensual duet with mine. His kisses moved down my neck until he was at my chest once more, paying each of my breasts their due homage.

He didn't stop there, and even though I was gasping and moaning, I still needed more to be completely undone. It was almost as if he could read my mind with his movements. Once my body prayed that he would touch me a certain way, he did. Before I had a conscious need to feel him kiss me tenderly, he would. His caresses were beyond adoring and ardent, they were a class in and of themselves; one that had my mind reeling and my body aching.

He trailed his lips down the curve of my stomach as his fingers began flirting with the edge of my panties. If he was waiting for permission to continue, he'd be sorely disappointed. The veneration he paid to my body thus far had left me breathless, incapable of speech. Instead, I lifted my hips slightly, giving him enough room to work the laced fabric off my body to be discarded with the rest of the clothing congregating in a pile on my bedroom floor.

His large hands wrapped around my knees, pushing my leg wide so that I was exposed. I didn't even have a smidgen of modesty as he looked down upon my soaked core, pulsing and throbbing for his attention. I heard him whisper some heated expletive before he bent down to me, immediately lapping at me with the tip of his tongue. The sensation of his mouth on me sent the heat within me spiraling out of control. My hips bucked forward of their own accord as my back arched off the mattress. Edward didn't stop; he continued to lave me until I was clenching and trembling with my release, shattering my insides into a thousand pieces that were immediately put back together again through his skilled touch.

I felt the pad of his thumb massaging my clit in small, smooth strokes as he worked me back from the edge, allowing my heart to calm but yet leaving me wanting more; always more...

"God, that was amazing," he breathed. I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me with that same quirked smile. His eyes were burning again, filled with a dark intensity that lit the embers inside of me hot once more. "I have to see that again."

With that, he dove down on me again, licking and teasing my core until I was aching and begging. I arched forcefully as I felt him plunge one finger inside me, curling and rubbing the smooth walls inside of me that were tense and rigid with need. His tongue circled my clit, giving just enough pressure that I whimpered and groaned. I didn't know what was worse: waiting on the edge of oblivion or the sense of it never being enough. My release came as quickly as it had before, but this time it was as urgent and raw as his fingers working inside of me.

I don't know how long I laid there, panting and sweating from the intensity of my orgasm. I may have blacked out for all I knew. It took me a moment to regain my bearings, but by the time my eyes sought out his again, his face was directly above mine. However long I was unaware was enough time for Edward to become completely nude and ready to take me further into the abyss.

I didn't say anything, for the movement of my chest as I worked to regain my breath was enough evidence of what he had done to me. All I could do was look at him with the need and desire I felt for him, not wanting anything in that moment but him inside of me. It became a necessity more than a want, like needing air to breath or water to drink. Edward was my life source in that moment, and my body was begging to meet his in the same primal way animals do.

We looked at each other for only a moment more, silently communicating our joint craving for the other. It was probably only a few seconds, but in that moment I felt a part of me shift. I didn't understand it and to this day I would deny what it was, but everything changed from then on.

I could feel him work himself between my dampened core and part of me wanted to look down as our bodies connected, but there was something in his eyes that held me captive. I wanted to see the look on his face when we were finally, painstakingly joined as one being. I believed he wanted the same thing for his eyes never left mine. All I could see was the vivid shade of green that was totally Edward's when his tip entered me. As he pushed himself further in, stretching my insides and filling me completely, it was like the shade of his eyes seeped out and into my pores; not just joining us biblically, but as if his essence was penetrating me through his intense stare.

Only when he was sheathed deep within me did he let me go from his hypnotizing trance. I watched his eyes rolled back as he began to move his body, plunging and pulling to a rhythm that matched my thrumming heart rate. I moved with him, joining the motion of my body with his. Soon, we were both worked into a frenzy of sweaty limbs and skin.

I could feel the tingling start in the pit of my stomach that was my release. This time it built deeper, thicker, and even more intense than ever before. It wasn't like I was standing on an edge, waiting to fall off. It was like I was being sent into the heavens, joining the gods on an ethereal walk among the stars.

I heard him say my name before he growled, letting go of his own powerful orgasm that locked down the muscles in his body so that he was a rigid statue of ecstasy above me. I thrilled at the expression on his face, one that told me he was euphoric and blissful; the same that he had made me feel three times that very night.

He collapsed beside me, immediately pulling my body into his. He wrapped his arms around me, cocooning me in his strong embrace.

I felt safe in his arms as he hummed contentedly behind me. I slept in a deep slumber that night, filled with enchanted dreams of passionate nights and heated words of endearment. It was the first of many nights like that; at least I hoped that was the case. But as it was in breathless romances, some things are too good to hope to be forever.

* * *

**AN: There's a nice slice of Twi-porn for you! Hope you feel like leaving me some love after that madness.**

**Want to rec another fic. Searching Under Covers by CandyCanesfly. It's a great story and if you like a sexy, hard core Bella that's not afraid to take a little danger, check it out. **

**Reviewers get another preview!**


	16. Chapter 15 Fanatical Girl Moments

**Thanks to Hibbleton & Neliz for all that you do. And my friend MsMayfly for giving me the encouragement I needed.**

Chapter 15 – Fanatical Girl Moments

~ Bella ~

I felt the slight tingle of his lips on my skin, the tickling of his warm breath fan across my ear as he licked and teased me. I could feel his arms wrapped around me as I was cushioned in the space he created with his body; cocooning me perfectly. In my half asleep state, I smiled silkily at the feeling of his erection pushing against my back side.

"Eager?" I asked, a lazy humor in my voice.

"Starved, I think is more appropriate," he replied, his lips moving down to my shoulder as his tongue came into play. "I need you. Now."

His large hand traveled from its perch on my hip, slowly ascending towards my ribs, crossing to my breasts. The tips of his fingers began a slow circuit around my peaked nipple, caressing the skin there with the faintest of touches. It was enough to make me beg, pleading with my body for more.

"Hmmm," I moaned, pushing my bottom into him, creating more delicious friction between our bodies. I didn't know what time it was, for it was still dark outside. I didn't know how long he'd been kissing me or what had woken him in the first place; I didn't care. This most decadent specimen of a man was fondling me, bringing me to the brink out of a dead sleep because he was insatiable and wanton. He wanted me and that knowledge was enough to heat my core, cause my skin to tingle, and my passion to ignite.

His kisses became more fervent, opened mouthed with the barest of nips from his teeth. And he had the most perfect teeth, white and straight; gloriously erotic with my flesh tucked between them. My legs parted slightly on their own accord, my leg wrapping around his hip so that I could push him further into me. I was panting, wanting and needing him in the apex of my thighs where my pulse was beating a heady rhythm of passion and lust. I could feel my arousal pooling, beckoning him to slip inside my slick heat.

I felt him move away from me briefly, reaching for something on the side table I was sure. My heart leapt as I realized he was grabbing some protection, preparing himself for me again. My insides charged at the thought, waiting and ready for his intrusion.

I almost complained because he was taking too long, and my body needed more attention than his momentary pause provided. But before I could moan a protest, his hands were on me once more, his covered, thick and ready sex finding its way between my thighs. He didn't enter me right away; instead, he began a slow caress with his fingers along my abdomen, slowly making the trek southward toward my dripping core.

Once, twice, he circled around my clit, and I was writhing in front of him like a woman possessed. I mewled and moaned, moving my hips in conjunction with his actions until I was literally aching with need.

"Edward," I moaned.

"Yes, baby," he growled, his voice rich and thick.

"Now," I replied on a breath. "Take me, now."

"Mmmm, gladly," he replied as he bowed my hips forward until I was angled in such a way he was able to sheath inside of me without any aid. The way he contorted my body made his penetration deep and raw, and I screamed the moment we were fully one, slamming the back of my head onto his shoulder as my back arched into his hips.

"Anh," I moaned, pushing myself back onto him. "Mmmm, more..." I wanted him fast and hard, primal and urgent, just like I felt in that moment. It was not a sexual experience any longer. Sex with Edward was anything but ordinary or mundane. It was erotic and sensual; it was almost religious.

"God, Bella. What are you doing to me?" he asked with a shaking voice as his hips worked me into near convulsions. I was panting and writhing, the building of my orgasm so intense that I could hardly make sense of his words.

His movements began to quicken as he forced my hips onto him with every thrust he made. I could feel his body tense behind me as his climax began, triggering my own, sending my body spiraling into the glorious abyss that only Edward could stimulate. The grip he had on my hips was biting but not uncomfortable. It was almost as if he was holding on to me so he wouldn't fall apart at the seams. As if I was his anchor to reality as he careened into oblivion with his release.

We both laid there panting for several minutes, enjoying the sensations as the cooling wave of contentment washed over us. I smiled to myself, reliving each moment we'd shared and the intensity between us that couldn't be denied. I felt it as strong and as sure as I'd ever felt anything. That knowledge warmed me, making me feel safer and happier than I'd been since my father's death.

"What are you grinning about?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around me once more, pulling me back into the warm comfort of his body.

"You," I replied. "Us. This."

"Mmm," he replied and I could feel his lips form a smile on my skin. "I feel the same way."

"What time is it?" I asked, yawning slightly as exhaustion overtook me. That wasn't the first time he'd awakened me that night. The last, I found him under the covers, exploring the bottom half of my body much like he had been doing this time. He chuckled in my ear as I felt his body relax behind me.

"About an hour later than last time; I can't seem to keep my hands off you. You're an addiction, Ms. Swan."

I wanted to reply with some snarky comment, but my body and brain must have had some sexually-induced disconnection because I couldn't find the will to make the effort. He'd officially sexed me catatonic...

Just because my body had taken a hiatus didn't mean my mind had shut off completely. As I lay there _recovering,_ for lack of a better word, my mind thought over the implications of our actions.

Was this to be a new relationship then? Were we to be a couple from now on? I didn't know, and in my sleepy, sex-addled mind, I resolved to talk about it with him first thing in the morning.

That night, my dreams were vivid and graphic, leaving me writhing on my bed in a heated sweat. I awoke a sodden mess in my sheets, panting and gasping for breath. It had been a while since I'd had a wet dream, but damn if this one didn't leave me aching. Something about it had seemed so familiar, almost as if...

_Edward..._

I shot up in bed, looking around the room quickly for any sign that last night had really happened. But I found myself alone when I knew that I shouldn't have been. Edward had stayed the night, hadn't he? We'd had an amazing night together, the most intimate of my entire existence. There was no way he'd leave without telling me goodbye, would he?

I heard the clanging of dishes down in the kitchen and thought that perhaps he was up already, making me some breakfast or something. I slammed my head back down on the pillow, taking my palm to my forehead in effort to calm my hazy panic attack.

That's when I noticed something laying beside me, falling haphazardly off the pillow. I turned in time to see a crumpled piece of paper and a long strip of black fabric. I quickly picked up the note and smoothed it out.

_My Beautiful Bella ~_

_I had a shift at the station this morning, so I had to cut out early. Last night was...well...there are no words. I left my number at the bottom. Call me, please. I would like to talk to you, make sure everything is okay. There's a lot to be said and explained... _

_Until then, Edward._

Sighing, I pulled the paper to my chest, hugging it tightly like some pathetic teenie bopper who'd received her first love note. I shook my head at myself, ashamed that I'd act so ridiculously at Edward's parting message to me. Somewhere in my mind, I knew that I should be pissed that he ditched out on me without saying goodbye, but I was too sated and fulfilled to give it much consideration.

I turned to the piece of fabric that accompanied the note, curious on what it was. I picked it up by the end and saw that it was Edward's bow tie from last night. I sighed again, smiling at the dangling piece of silk in my hand like it was a cherished heirloom.

_For shit's sake, Swan. Get it together. He's just a boy..._

A boy with an unbelievably sensuous mouth and hands that could work me into a coma, I mused. I giggled at the thought.

I climbed out of bed, stripping my bed of the sex-stained sheets and oddly proud that was the reason they needed to be laundered. Once my mattress was bare, I turned to the old turntable and cranked it up, the steady sounds of Witchy Woman resonating through my room, causing my insides to churn with the heated memories the music evoked.

_I think I may have found my newest favorite song..._

In a deliriously ecstatic stupor, I skipped into my bathroom, chuckling at myself when I got a glimpse of my reflection in floor length mirror on my closet doors. My face was flushed, my hair was a rat's nest, and my body looked like it had been thoroughly manhandled. But the wide smile on my face reflected the joy I felt inside, and it was all I could focus on.

I knew I was beyond pathetic but I didn't care and neither did my inner diva, although she wasn't giddy as a school girl. No, she was spread out on her couch, smoking her third cigarette of the morning and sipping on Amaretto.

I took a quick shower, contemplating on when would be a good time to call Edward. I didn't want to seem too forward but I was anxious about speaking with him. I wanted to talk to him, get some kind reassurance about his feelings for me.

I knew I started off the evening thinking that I was going in it for a one night stand type of a deal. And at the time, I was okay with that. Not now; not after I'd had Edward in my bed. The feelings he stirred inside of me were too good to just walk away from him. And I needed more...always more.

I toweled off quickly and pulled the towel around my body. I grabbed my hairbrush and started running it through my heavy mop of hair. I walked through my ensuite door and jumped when I heard an unexpected voice.

"Well, there she is," Rosalie said, perched next to Alice on my bare bed. Both of them were grinning at me like the cat that ate the cream. Alice handed me a steaming cup of coffee and I moaned when the hot liquid coursed down my throat.

"That's a sound I'm sure neither of us will be forgetting soon," Alice giggled, and I almost choked on my coffee when I realized the meaning of her comment. They were home last night. They had heard everything.

_Perfect..._

My eyes widened as I looked at my two best friends, grins spread ear to ear, eager to hear the gossip. I began gauging exactly how to proceed with this interrogation they were about to bestow me. Should I turn quickly and duck back into my bathroom, thereby using my avoidance tactic that had served me so well in the past? Or should I just bite the bullet and tell them exactly what an orgasmic, erotic, sensually driven hunk of man-meat Edward was and dish on all the details of how me made me scream.

"Spill it, Swan," Rosalie growled. I guessed that answered that question. "It must have been a good time last night. I see the sheets needed a thorough cleaning." She grinned, grazing the naked bed with a smirk and an eye wag.

"Ewww, is that why we are sitting on this thing like this?" Alice asked, looking questioningly at my bed as if she could see the little sperms swimming along the cotton fibers.

"Oh, really, Alice? Would you rather her leave the sheets on?" Rose asked with a quirked eyebrow. Alice didn't reply, but her face was furrowed as if she was contemplating which she'd prefer, not daring to sit down on my bed again. "I want to know what happened last night, Bella. I left you to talk with Emmett and I didn't hear from you again. Well, until the screaming started..." she smirked.

_Oh for the love of all that's holy..._

"And usually, I'm the one bringing home the goods so I want to know. Come on, come on."

"Alright, fine. Give me a minute; I'm still naked here for crying out loud." Rosalie got up quickly and began digging through my drawers, finding one of Jake's old tees and throwing it at me. Rolling my eyes, I pulled it over my head, and then returned to brushing my hair.

"You guys can't just barge into my room, you know. What if he had still been here, hmmm?"

"Since when have we had a closed door policy?" Rosalie asked, acting slightly offended at my words. "Besides, I peeked in and saw you were alone. No biggie..."

"Rose, that's not ―"

"Enough stalling, Swan," Alice growled. "I need some distraction. What happened?"

I sat on my bed with a huff and began telling them about my night with Edward. Reliving it again through the retelling, I swooned at the part where I told them about his spontaneous purchase of the Eagles album. Both Rosalie and Alice knew of my love for anything classic rock, they just didn't _understand_ it, per say. They'd always been incredibly supportive of my choice to keep my personal compositions private. They knew I played and dabbled with free lance singing, but they'd never heard me sing, except for drunken karaoke nights, of course. So when I told them of how Edward described my voice, they both sighed with beaming smiles and longing looks.

"I knew he was a keeper, Bella, the minute you described him," Alice sighed, her hopeless romantic face making a strong reappearance. "I knew it was meant to be."

"Hold up," Rosalie interrupted, putting both hands up to stop our fanatical girl moments. "Just because she fucked him doesn't mean it's all stars and rainbows from here on out. She needs to be elusive or he will walk all over her."

"You are being ridiculous, Rose," Alice chastised.

"No, I'm not," Rosalie argued. "She already gave it up once, and I must say that I'm surprised you did, Bella. That's not a move I thought I'd see you make."

"I was surprised too," I muttered, but I couldn't help the smile from reforming on my face as I thought of my internal debate I went through last night to make that very decision.

"It was a 'Ro-Ho' move, Bella. You should feel like you graduated into womanhood," Alice commented, nodding her head in mock seriousness.

"Hey, I'm not a ho, fuck you very much," Rose admonished. "I've been on my best behavior lately."

"So what happened with Emmett?" I asked, sipping my coffee generously while I watched in fascination as Rose's face began to heat at my question. "Rose?" I asked, shocked that she seemed to become so closed off all of a sudden by the mere mention of Emmett's name.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," she replied with a solemn shrug. "And everything. I don't know, Bella. Seeing him there after everything Leah said that night, I just feel like jumping into something with him while he was there with someone else sends up a huge red flag for me."

"I told her she's being nuts," Alice commented, shaking her head in slight annoyance at Rose's words. "Leah is a trifling hood-rat that needs to keep her mouth shut."

"She has every right to hate me, Alice," Rose commented, her tone chiding in nature.

"What did _he_ say?" I asked, watching as a faint smile curved Rose's lips as she remembered her conversation with Emmett.

"He said I looked amazing and that he wanted to take me out some time."

"And..." I asked leadingly.

"_And_ I told him that I didn't think that was a good idea, seeing as he was with another woman at the time." She looked so forlorn as she spoke of it that I wanted to take her into my arms and comfort her. "We didn't talk much after that. His date wanted to take a walk outside or something, and Sam had returned from arguing with Leah. We decided to leave shortly after and ended up back at Duley's for a rum and coke."

"What about you?" I asked Alice. Her features stiffened rather quickly after I asked, and I began to wish I hadn't as I could see the anger fester behind her dark eyes.

"_Jasper_," she growled, saying his name like an expletive. "And his date seemed rather cozy, so I didn't bother to stick around after you left. What kind of name is _Irina_, anyway? Who names their child that? It sounds like some kind of kitty porn name or something. _I-rin-a_..."

I realized in that moment that I had forgotten to tell Alice that Irina was in fact Jasper's cousin. But as I watched her wrath; going on and on about him and his twiggy-legged cousin together, I became morbidly entertained. Maybe it was my sex-addled brain once again, finding humor in other people's misery, but I wanted to wait until the opportune moment to unleash my news.

"...And I knew I just should have taken Embry's offer and fucked the shit out of him last night. Maybe some hard, meaningless sex is just what I need right now."

_And the opportune moment has arrived, ladies and gentlemen..._

"Alice, Edward told me that Irina is Jasper's cousin. In fact, he mentioned all three of them went out with dates that night who were just friends, nothing more."

Rosalie and Alice both looked at me with blank expressions on their faces, and the fact that the album had just completed its cycle added to the solid deafness in the room. No one moved or said anything for several moments, and I started to fear for my life as realization mixed with rage and anger seeped behind the eyes of my two best friends.

"What the hell Bella ―"

"You could have fucking told me that ―"

They both began yelling in unison, gesturing wildly with their hands and jumping off the bed in a flurry of movement.

Poor Alice looked like she had just been told her puppy had died. "That could have been my one opportunity, Bella. That could have been fate for us to meet there like that, do you realize that?"

Rosalie was a mix between anger at me and disappointment in herself. "I knew I should have just taken him home last night, screw the dame. Nice time to turn over a new leaf, damn it..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...will you two harpies shut the fuck up for a moment and let me explain. Relax...chill out, my goodness."

"Speak, Bella," Alice barked, her hands on her hips impatiently waiting for what I had to say.

"Edward told me that the boys are just as mad about you two as you are about them. There is no need for a lynching mob. And in my defense, Edward did not tell me who the girls were until _after_ we left, alright?"

"I need to call him," Rosalie mumbled in an almost panicked tone, looking around her for a cell phone or perhaps a walkie talkie...anything to get her in communication with her hunk of a man, STAT.

"This is horrible. My feelings never lie, Bella. I know he is meant for me. What if I blew it with that stunt with Embry?" Alice cried, her tone pleading.

"You both need to relax; what happened to playing the elusive card, huh Rosalie?" I asked with a sly grin. "And what was that with Embry, by the way. I have never seen you like that with him."

"I'm not going to talk about that right now, Bella. I need to fix this..." she replied as she left the room. I laughed and rolled my eyes, wondering exactly _how_ she planned to make it 'right with the Fates', as she would have put it.

I turned to look at Rosalie who had a faint smile on her lips, now that she was calmed from her near panic attack.

"Penny..." I said, trailing off on our favored saying when we wanted to lend a listening ear.

"He looked so good last night," Rose said, her eyes blank as if she was staring off, seeing her fated Romeo off in the distance. "I just have this feeling, you know. Deep in my heart that says he is supposed to be with me."

She paused and looked at me fully, her face becoming serious all of a sudden.

"How long have you known me, Bella?"

"Almost five years," I replied, placing my hand on her shoulder for comfort. "And I've never seen you like this." She nods in agreement, almost as if I had finished her thought out loud.

"It's scary because I don't even know him," she replied, staring once again into space as she contemplated her strong feelings for him. "How can I feel this passionately about a man I don't know? But my heart _feels_ like it recognizes him. Like part of me belongs with him, do you know what I mean? I've never been the one to believe in love at first sight and all that shit. It just doesn't happen..."

She ran her hand over her face as if to rid herself of a haze and blew out a huge breath. "Maybe I should step back from it for a while. Take some time to settle my irrational feelings..."

"I don't get you, Rosalie Hale," I laughed, and she looked at me with a bemused expression. "You find a man that you think is attractive and you bed him without hesitation," I explained. "But the moment you find someone you makes you _feel_ amazing, you want to think it over? You are a piece of work..."

She smirked at me and nodded, not really having a foot to stand on when it came to arguing over that observation. Just then my phone beeped as Bob Marley's 'I Shot the Sherriff' rang out, indicating Jake was calling me. My eyes widened as I realized just then that I had left him at the Gala last night, without warning or explanation.

_Oops..._

Rosalie caught my expression and guffawed. She patted me on the shoulder as she made her way to leave, mouthing 'good luck' as she made her exit.

I grabbed my phone off the night stand and cringed, deciding whether I should let it go to the voicemail like a coward, or answer it and face his chastisement.

Once again, I bit the bullet.

"Hey Jake."

"Isabella Marie Swan, what the hell were you thinking?" Jake growled, and I cringed at the tone in his voice. I wasn't used to hearing disappointment from Jake and it oddly reminded me of getting scolded by my dad.

"What do you mean?" I tried for innocence, but I knew it was only going to get me so far.

"Oh, I don't know. You left your best friend at the benefit...you take off with a stranger...you don't call me to let me know you're okay...take your pick, Bella."

"Look, Jake. Edward isn't a stranger. He's my boss's son. I think I was in perfectly good hands."

"Yeah, and those hands better have been kept safely in his lap, Bella."

When I didn't say anything or offer him any reassurance about abstaining, he growled loudly. I could tell he had pulled the phone away from his mouth because I could hear muffled curses and swears that reminded me of how Jake could get when he was watching his favorite team lose in football. But this time, he seemed more intense and angry, and I felt a twinge of guilt by his reaction.

"Jake," I said soothingly, hoping my tone would calm him down or placate him. I was fine, after all. I survived. No harm done, right? And besides, if Edward felt a tenth of what I did for him, Jake would be seeing a lot more of him, I would make sure of that.

"Bella, I swear to God, if that fucker touched you, I'm gunna ―"

"I'm a grown woman, Jacob. I can do whatever I want with whomever I want."

"No, Bella. You are too good for him. Argh, I should have stuck to you like glue last night. I could see it in his eyes. Damn it!"

"Why are you so upset, Jake? You're acting like I'm some sort of victim or something. Trust me; I was a willing participant to whatever happened between us."

"If you would have known the truth, you wouldn't have been, Bella. But like always, Smooth-Talker Edward Cullen charms his way into another unsuspecting woman's bed."

"Excuse me?" I asked, anger flooding my face with color. I didn't like Jake's insinuations. I knew he didn't like the guy, but I thought Jake knew me better than to just bed someone in one night without being able to tell their character. Edward wasn't a sleaze and I was pissed that Jake let his loathing for Edward cloud the issue. "I'm perfectly capable to judge Edward's character myself, Jacob Black. He's not a slime ball. Relax."

"Really?" Jake bit back. "Really? Remember Rachel, Bella? Remember that shithead that tore her apart?"

I vaguely remembered Jake telling me about his sister Rachel who had met some guy in college. She had fallen for him head over heels, but he had claimed that she wasn't good enough for him and called the relationship off. I didn't know the specific details about it, but I did know it had something to do with money or status.

Jake's family was extremely poor, living on an Indian Reservation in the heart of Washington State. His father could only provide the essentials, and both Rachel and Jacob had to depend on scholarships and grants to get them through school. The fact that Rachel's boyfriend had dumped her because she wasn't in his social class had burned her bad, fueling old childhood feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Jake was livid at the time, and I remembered that he cursed the bastard any chance he got. He often cited the episode as a warning when dating. 'The Silver Spooned Snob' is what Jake had dubbed him, and I had only known of his infamous identity through Jake's consistent hatred of him.

"Yes, Jake." I sighed, rubbing my hand across my forehead in agitation. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"It's him, Bella." He growled into the phone, and his words made my heart stop. "Edward is Rachel's Snob."

* * *

**AN: I want to personally thank all of you who are still reading and reviewing. It takes a lot of encouragement to keep writers motivated, and those of you who have offered their thoughts, you make my heart fly. **

**Reviewers receive previews for the next chapter, as always :D **


	17. Chapter 16 Smile, My Angel

Chapter 16 – Smile, My Angel

~ Edward ~

She looked like a porcelain goddess, all smooth lines and perfection. She'd been softly mumbling in her sleep since around five thirty in the morning, which was a good thing because I'd forgotten to set an alarm the night before; I'd had other, more pressing things on my mind.

I had been watching her sleep for about fifteen minutes now, not wanting to leave the comfort of her body or her bed. Occasionally, I'd catch fragments of speech admid the garbled sounds coming out of her supple lips. It was quite entertaining trying to decipher what she was dreaming about.

It had only taken me a moment, however, to realize that she was still completely nude and that the duvet had fallen off her body, leaving a good amount of skin bare for my perusal. And so began the perverted ogling of a beautifully exposed woman who I'd had the pleasure of making love to all night long.

I never pictured myself as the type of man who'd take advantage of an unconscious, gorgeously erotic female as she slumbered, but I'd found myself waking her up twice in the night to slake my lust on her unbelievably tempting body. And she had been an all-too-willing participant.

I glanced at her bedside iHome to check the time. I only had mere moments before I had to be in my car, heading towards my home to get ready for work. I wished I could just go to the station from Bella's place, giving me at least twenty more minutes in bed with her ― a lot could happen in twenty minutes, after all ― but I had left my turnouts in my laundry room because I had worked overtime at a different station the last day of my cycle. I had to go pick them up before I went in, otherwise I'd be hurtin' pretty badly if we were to be called on a fire without my protective garb.

Eventually, I had to leave. As gently as possible, I kissed Bella on her temple and climbed out of bed. I grabbed my white undershirt and trousers, slipping them on with ease. I glanced around the room, attempting to find all my belongings as quickly and silently as possible. Once I had them all, I searched around the room for something to write with. On her nightstand was a tattered envelope and dull pencil. I quickly scrawled a couple words of endearment and my phone number. Leaving my bow tie as both incentive and motivation for her to call me, I kissed her one more time, and left her room.

The house was fairly silent, and I wondered if perhaps Jasper and Emmett made their moves on Bella's housemates. Maybe they were entertaining for the evening and I was excited to get to work to discover the details.

And just like that, a crushing wave of guilt overcame me as I realized I never let Carmen know that I was leaving last night. Feeling like a complete douche, I pulled out my iPhone and quickly texted Carmen my apology as I waited for my car to warm up.

**C – Sorry for ditching you last night. Something came up. **

After I hit send and looked out into the slightly darkened streets, I felt like an even bigger idiot when I realized it was super early, and my text was probably going to wake her up.

**E – No worries. I hoped _something_ came up last night. wink, wink* And don't worry about me. I found my own Betty, too. Party's still crackin', my friend...**

I shook my head and smiled, typing in my response quickly so that I could start to head down the damp streets towards home.

**C – Who? You crazy, sexy woman...**

**E – Wouldn't you like to know... No threesomes with this one, my horny friend. She's all mine. Call you later.**

I laughed as I pulled off the curb, thinking of how much I missed hanging out with Carmen on a regular basis. She always had a way about her that was fun and flirtatious, but platonic all the same.

By the time I got home, Jasper and Emmett were both up. They were standing in the kitchen, Emmett making breakfast and Jasper reading the Sunday edition of the paper.

"Look what the hobo dragged in," Emmett called as I sauntered into the room, not bothering to wipe the shit eating grin I'd had plastered on my face since about ten o'clock the evening before. "My man got some pussy last night. Hot damn!"

Immediately, my guard went up at his words. "Emmett," I growled in warning.

"Dude, don't get all clammed up on me now. I want the shit, Cullen. Was she good?"

"Fuck, I will fry you, fucker, if you're not careful. That's a lady you are talking about."

He scoffed, "Yeah, one that gave it up pretty easily I'd say..."

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," I growled, stepping closer to him with my hackles raised.

"Hey, gentlemen," Jasper interrupted in his cool, calm demeanor. He stood from his stool so that he was available to interfere if I decided to rip Emmett a new asshole. "Let's take a step back, shall we?"

Emmett shrugged like he didn't have his ass on a platter just a second prior, going back to his frying pan with pig sizzling in the background.

"Whatevers," he grinned that fucktard, stupid look he got when he found something childishly amusing. I didn't want him saying anything to me about Bella, and I could just imagine what was going through that fucked up brain of his. I decided to derail him.

"So, how was your night with the blonde girl, Emmett?" I saw his jaw muscles tense just briefly, then he slathered on his confident expression as he answered me in a light, totally fake and pathetic tone.

"She did her thing, I did mine. No biggie."

"Sure," I scoffed. "Look, I don't want to fight with you. Understand now that Bella is something special to me. What we did last night was beyond anything I've ever experienced, so lay off, alright?"

Emmett tossed his grease-covered spatula onto the counter top as he turned and glared at me.

"Then don't say shit about Rosie, either."

I nodded in agreement. We both looked at Jasper who was studiously ignoring our exchange, having gone back to reading the sports section with avid interest, or so it seemed.

"So, what happened last night?" I asked, sipping a glass of OJ Emmett had placed on the table in front of me as a peace offering. My acceptance of it was representative of my part of the truce. It was so easy being a man; our conflicts resolved so smoothly.

"We didn't stay long after you left," Emmett shrugged. "Jasper, Irina, and I headed out to her place for a while. Played the Wii for a bit, then came home."

"Where did Kate end up?" I heard Jasper chuckle at my question as he folded his paper into its creases, then placing it on the counter as he answered.

"She met your friend Carmen last night," he answered with a knowing smirk. I laughed out loud.

"I talked to Carmen this morning. Seems things are still going strong over at her place..." I trailed off suggestively.

"Damn, that's hot," Emmett replied, shaking his head dramatically. "Two lusciously delicious babes going at it all night... Nothing better, my man."

"Dude, that's my cousin you're talking about," Jasper admonished, shaking his head as if to rid himself of some uncouth images.

"I don't give a fuck who she is," Emmett laughed. "That is some erotic shit."

"Let's keep this to ourselves for now, shall we, gentlemen?" Jasper asked as he stood from the counter, sipping his steaming coffee before clarifying. "My aunt and uncle don't know about Kate's _preferences_, as it were. I don't want to out her prematurely."

Emmett and I nodded before we all cleared out to finish getting ready for the station.

* * *

Sundays at the firehouse were pretty laid back. We liked to refer to it as our one day off 'in house', because we were able to lounge around, for the most part anyway. We didn't have to clean the station or wash the rigs. Our biggest responsibility was to make lunch and dinner, besides running the occasional call here and there.

So, I was fully expecting a nice, relaxing day at work; a chance to unwind from the tedious weekend. I wanted to shrug off the pretentious, stiff coat of armor I had to put on every time I was around the illustrious wealth of Seattle. I was eager to be around 'real' people, normal people; have a chance to be in my own element, the place I felt most comfortable.

"Hey, you fucking shitdick, ass licker," Seth laughed as I walked through the station doors.

_Ahhhh, nice to feel back to the norm..._

"What are you doing, you fucking lazy ass?" I asked through a wide grin. "Where the fuck is my coffee, Probee?"

"Psssh. Fuck that shit," Seth scoffed, waving me off like an insolant pest. "I've been off of probation for months now, Cullen."

"Lucky for you; you're still the newbie. Remember that, fucker," I responded, making my way back into the dorms to drop off my sleeping bag and backpack full of my shit.

I plopped my stuff down on my cot, unloading my uniform and badge. I got dressed quickly, placing my switch blade into my side holster and slapping my name plate on. I stuffed my feet into my boots and zipped them into place.

I glanced at my phone surreptitiously while I dressed, hoping that Bella would call me soon. When I was in her room that morning, I didn't want to seem forward and discover her number by myself. Her phone sitting idly on her dresser, as I wrote her my note, made for an enticing temptation. It would have been so easy for me to use her phone to call my own, discovering her number through caller ID. I figured she'd appreciate the sentiment of my small love note, though. And the idea that by doing so, I'd left the ball in her court would hopefully give her some feeling of power. I knew women well, and respectful, self-confident ones, like Bella, usually thought really hard before they slept with a man. I didn't want her to doubt my feelings for her, or scare her off too soon with a number-stealing, stalker move.

Hopefully, my tactic was the right course for our new relationship, and I was eager to hear from her to make sure she wasn't over-thinking our night together. But she hadn't called, and that fact was starting to worry me. I glanced at the clock and realized it was only eight o'clock in the morning, and laughed at my ridiculousness.

_She's probably still asleep, Cullen. Relax, down boy..._

The day went by fairly slowly. I usually reveled in shifts like this one, but the fact that Bella _still _hadn't called was nagging me relentlessly. When dinner time rolled around and my phone was resolutely silent, I was starting to become visibly anxious.

Luckily, the only person who noticed was Jasper. The empathic freak always had a way to tell if I was upset or not. He usually gave good advice, even if it took a while to figure out what the fuck he was saying. He was the epitome of a Perma-Stoner: someone who had never smoked pot in his life, but was always laid back and eerily insightful, as if they were born with a doobie stuck between their lips.

"Wanna Xanax? I've got one in my locker," he asked without taking his eyes off his laptop. He was watching a show on the station's big screen about the Civil War, while simultaneously looking up more information on the facts he found interesting on his laptop. Like I said: freak...

"I'm fine," I answered gruffly, rubbing my forehead in attempt to rid myself of the horrid headache developing in the center of my noggin.

"Well, you don't _feel_ fine, man," he replied with a shrug. I rolled my eyes.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked, hardly curbing my annoyance. "What, are you like, _feeling_ my aura or some shit?"

"Jesus, Cullen. What is your deal? I can feel the heat coming off of you in waves." Jasper was looking at me with a frown on his face, a rarity for the usually laid back man, and I started to feel guilty for acting like such a shit.

"Sorry," I grumbled, mowing my hand across my hair in frustration. "It's just that I haven't heard from her and I'm starting to worry that I moved too fast."

"Hmm," Jasper hummed, returning back to his boring ass search about old Civil War weapons, like the Colt Walker and Dragoons. "Did you know that the most popular weapon in Civil War times was the Winchester rifle?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, becoming more irate by the moment with Jasper's asinine, pointless trivia. I really didn't have energy to spend trying to decipher his cryptic bullshit. I was exhausted, and although the reason _why_ I was so tired brought a smile to my face and offered me some comfort among my hectic thoughts, it didn't provide me much patience when it came to his utter nonsense.

"I'm just saying, it was interesting," he shrugged as he pulled up a page about something called The Winchester Mystery House. "I guess some say that the family who made the Winchester rifle was cursed by the widows of the men whose lives were claimed by it."

I was speechless. I mean, what would someone say to that? I didn't have a response, and Jasper just kept speaking like I wasn't looking at him with a half-annoyed, half-flabbergasted expression.

"Apparently, the wife went pretty mad after her husband's death. She built some huge house because a fortuneteller told her that she would stay alive as long as she kept construction going. She spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on it, not really building anything of value. She'd build staircases that led to nowhere, doors that opened to five story drops."

"Jazz, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," I complained, pinching the bridge of my nose in agitation. "What's your point?"

"I don't have one," he replied with another one shouldered shrug. "I think it's in the little things where we learn life's lessons. If that woman hadn't listened to her psychic, then we wouldn't have such a story to tell. There would be no legend, no legacy for the family, except for one that is shadowed by the death and destruction. You never know where the little quirks in the everyday, mundane humdrum will lead a person, you know?"

He'd turned his laptop a little so that I could see a large display of a huge mansion. The architecture was in turn of the century decor; the windows standing as countless guards to the extensive square footage inside. It was impressive, and if I gave a flying shit, it may have piqued my interest. Now, it was just pissing me off.

"You see," he said as I gazed at the screen, speechless. "Beauty in the abstract, right?"

When I didn't answer, he scoffed and pulled the laptop away.

"Edward," Jasper said lowly, his voice becoming weirdly serious all of a sudden. "She'll call you. Just give her some time to work through her shit."

"I think I might have fucked this up, man. What if it was too soon for her?"

"Like I said," he replied, gesturing toward the screen showing the eccentric results of a woman gone insane. "Things happen for a reason. We as mere mortals can only make our decisions in the moment, and live with the results of those actions as they happen. It's not like you can tell the future, Edward. Or know what she's thinking. All you can do is act and stand by your choices. You chose to be with her and her you. She'll either decide to call you...or not. My bet is she will."

"And how are you so certain?" I asked, wanting to know where he got his confidence in life from. He always seemed so level headed, so sure about who he was and where he was going.

"I'm not," he answered with a shrug. "But I know you well, Edward, and if she doesn't call, she's an idiot. And she didn't strike me as being one. Give her time."

* * *

_Station Nine; respond to a commercial fire alarm on Terrace Avenue and Fifth Avenue. Possible structure fire with three engines responding. _

I jolted out of bed and headed straight for the loading docks. In a half-asleep state, I pulled on my turnouts, trying to catch my bearings from the overwhelming exhaustion overcoming me. This was our third call of the evening, each of them being a huge waste of time, but such is the life of a glorified paramedic.

At least this one sounded like it may be worth two shits, not like the other calls. We had a "cardiac arrest", where the victim walked away from the scene ― yeah, explain that one. Or, the other where a woman felt severe chest pain, but was really too large; she couldn't reach her remote for her television, and had fallen out of bed trying to reach it. It had taken all four of us and three paramedics to lift her back into bed, by the end of which she was so winded, we had to give her supplemental oxygen until she calmed down.

"Whitlock, did you get the address?" Captain Banner asked as he pulled himself into the passenger seat.

"It's on the GPS, Cappie," Jasper responded as he fired up the engine, turning on his sirens in a full alarm rush to the scene.

"Cullen, McCarty, you boys better wake up. This one could be a live fire. I don't want either of you half asleep when we pull up."

"When's the last time one of these was real, Cappie," Emmett complained. "I'm sure it's another false alarm." He curled up into his seat, closing his eyes to try and get a few more minutes of shut eye before we had to be on alert.

"It doesn't matter," Jeff admonished as he ran the specs for the call. "Engines eight and nine are joining us on this one, boys. The structure is a twenty story building. This one doesn't have all its codes up to date. If it's real, we need to be on spot."

"Is it that fucking King's building," Emmett grumbled. When Captain Banner nodded his head in confirmation, Emmett growled. "This is like the fiftieth call we've been on for that shit hole. When are they going to take their write ups seriously and fix their system. I'm sick of running these damn calls in the middle of the fucking night."

"It's our job, McCarty," Captain Banner replied, glaring at Emmett because he'd started to take off his turnouts, immediately convinced the call was bogus. "I'm gunna write your ass up if you don't get your shit back on right now. Let's meet the other crews and find out what's on scene. If it's nothing, we'll head back ASAP."

The call ended up being another false alarm, just as Emmett had suspected. However, since the building was so large, it took us a while to search it from top to bottom. The alarm system said that the sensor on the twelfth level was tripped, so we had started there first, but didn't find anything.

When we finally gave the all clear two hours later, the sun was starting to come up. My feet felt like lead as I dragged my ass into the showers, hoping that someone was making the coffee extra strong that morning.

As I packed my stuff to leave, I grabbed my phone off the bedside nightstand. The screen told me that I had no missed calls, and my heart dropped at that implication.

I hated that she hadn't called me. Even more so, I was angry that I had been so foolish as to take her the night we'd had our first conversation. No wonder she hadn't taken a moment to dial my phone number; I hadn't had the decency to take her out on a date before I bedded her. She probably thought I was some sort of cad, not taking our amazing night seriously. I had fucked it all up, and because of that, I probably lost the best thing that had ever happened to me.

"You want to head to the hospital together?" Emmett asked as he was pouring me a steaming cup of coffee. I thanked him before delving in, the temperature of the liquid burning my tongue slightly. _Perfect..._

"What are you talking about?" I asked him between sips. I didn't remember any plans to visit my father, but maybe something had slipped my mind. I had been extremely distracted by the Gala lately.

"We have class this afternoon, Edward. Remember?"

"Damn it," I groaned, feeling my tired muscles protest at the idea of having to stay up longer without a good nap. Even my brain cells were threatening a hiatus if I put them through any strenuous activity. Thankfully, I knew the material for class like the back of my hand, so I didn't think it would be that big of a deal if I napped through the review. It seemed Emmett had a similar idea.

"I think I'll bring my dark sunglasses, pick a seat in the back and take a breather," Emmett replied, sucking down his coffee as if it was his life's fuel. I nodded my agreement.

"You want to go with me to visit Nikki before class?" he asked, filling his cup once more with the dark nectar of the gods.

"Is she being discharged this morning?" I asked before grabbing a box of cereal for breakfast. Emmett nodded as he opened the cabinet to retrieve two bowls.

"That was the plan," he answered, a small sad expression on his face. He was such a teddy bear and had developed a strong relationship with Nikki and her surrogate family. I knew it was going to be hard for him, having her move to the other side of Seattle. The hospital was just down the street, and he'd often go visit her when he could.

"Yeah, Em. I'll go with you."

We ate quickly, leaving a bowl of cereal and coffee for Jasper once he'd finished cleaning the rig. I gathered my stuff and met Emmett out by my car.

The ride the hospital was short, and Emmett had been silent the whole way there. I was sure he was going to have a hard time with Nikki leaving. He had taken the death of her family pretty badly, but he'd never admit to it. Instead of grieving, he'd wrapped himself into Nikki's well being, and I thought with her approaching departure, he might have some sort of after effects of the whole tragedy that he hadn't dealt with up until now. I knew the department had counselors on call for that sort of thing, but hopefully with Jazz and me there for him, he wouldn't need any outside help.

The problem was, Emmett was never one to really talk about shit like that. I remembered the first time we'd responded to a drowning with two young victims, he wouldn't talk to either of us for a long while. He'd mostly stay in his room, distancing himself from reality until he was ready to move on.

We had approached the fifth floor quickly, coming to a stop outside of Nikki's room. Peter, the little girl's uncle, was standing at the nurse's station signing discharge paperwork. Emmett excused himself, wanting to speak with her uncle alone. I nodded and made my way to Nikki's room. I heard two soft voices talking as I approached.

"Will you come visit me?" Nikki asked with a hint of sadness.

"Of course I will," a woman answered, and the soft, soothing tone of her voice alerted me to her identity immediately. It was Bella, and my heart rate picked up rapidly.

"You promise?" Nikki sniffled, and I could see her in my mind's eye holding out a little pinkie to Bella.

"I promise," Bella answered with a small giggle.

"Sing for me?" Nikki pleaded.

"Sure, baby," Bella answered. "What would you like me to sing?"

"I don't know," the girl said with another sniffle. "Maybe something new. Do you have anything that would make me not so sad, Bella?"

"Hmmm," Bella wondered. I peeked into the room then, seeing both of them curled up on the bed together, much like they were the first night I'd seen my singer, my siren. She was brushing back Nikki's hair as she gazed at the girl with such tenderness it made my heart ache.

"I think I have just the one," she answered, looking at the sadness in the girl's face that matched her own forlorn look. She cleared her throat before beginning her song to the girl: a farewell and promise in one.

"Smile, though is your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking. When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by. If you smile through your pain and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through. If you'll just smile..."

Her sweet voice trailed off when it began to break, and I watched as she pulled the girl into her chest as aching sobs poured from the sweet little one's chest.

"I miss my mommy and daddy," she cried, her voice muffled into Bella's blouse.

"I know, baby," Bella crooned, a small trail of tears falling down her cheeks. "I know it hurts, little one. They loved you so much, you have to know that."

"Then why did they leave me?" she cried, pulling back so that she could look at Bella in the face. "Why didn't they fight harder to stay if they really loved me?"

"Oh, baby. They did fight as hard as they could. I know that if they could, they'd be holding you right now. How could anyone not love you, Nikki? My sweet girl, you are precious. Your Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Peter love you very much, and they are going to takegood care of you."

"And you promised, Bella," Nikki cried, grabbing tightly onto Bella's shirt and staring into her eyes with an almost panicked look. "You said that you were going to come and see me. You didn't lie, did you Bella."

"No, baby," Bella said with a saddened smile. "I didn't lie. I will come and see you as often as I can."

I heard a throat clear behind me and both girls looked up from the hospital bed. Peter was standing behind me, his fist filled with paperwork. As he made his explanation that it was almost time for Nikki to go, I could feel Bella's gaze on me. I might have felt sheepish for spying on them, but I was so overtaken by what I had just witnessed, I didn't have it in me to feel embarrassed.

"Edward," Nikki smiled at me. "I'm happy to see you." She crawled off the bed and came walking over to me, holding out her hand for me to take it. Instead of taking it, however, I bent down and picked her up into a big bear hug. She laughed as I swung her around in a little circle.

"Hey, baby girl," I smiled. "You look great. How are you feeling?"

"Good," she responded, and then offered me the same sad smile she'd given Bella. "I'm going to miss all my friends here. Did Emmett come with you?"

"I'm right here, short stack," Emmett grinned, holding out a huge teddy bear to her. He must have gone down the gift shop after talking to Nikki's uncle. I watched as Nikki's face lit up at Emmett's appearance. She hardly gave the bear any regard, only throwing herself toward her own personal teddy bear that was Emmett.

"I wouldn't miss seeing you off for the world, sweetie," Emmett smiled, holding Nikki back a little so he could look at her. "You look so much better. Have you been eating Coco Puffs?" Nikki laughed at their inside joke.

"Not yet, Emmett. I told you, only when I watch Sponge Bob."

"Oh, right. How could I forget?"

Bella caught my attention again as she climbed off the bed, straightening out her clothes and fixing her hair. She looked so damn cute, all rumpled and tousled, that I had to keep myself from groaning as she pulled her shirt over a small patch of her abdomen that had been exposed. Everything else seemed to melt away as I watched her, and I found myself forgetting about the fact that we weren't alone.

"Hi," I said on a whisper as she came closer to me.

"Hello," she replied, her tone more formal for my liking. My heart immediately plummeted at the sound of it, and I felt a growl of anger break from my throat before I could stop it.

"What's wrong," I asked heatedly, and I saw Bella look around her with a nervous expression. "Why haven't you called? I left you my number."

"Edward, I'm late for a class. Can I talk to you later?" She said it lowly, trying to keep her rejection quiet so as to not bring attention to ourselves. It was in that moment that I noticed how uncomfortable I had made her. I backed away immediately, looking furtively at Emmett and Nikki. Luckily, they were both deep in conversation that they didn't notice how tense the atmosphere was.

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement. "I guess I'll talk to you later." I gave Nikki one more hug and made my goodbyes. I didn't look at Bella again as I did. Emmett gave me a questioning glance, but I didn't respond. I turned quickly from the room, making my way down to the first floor in the direction of our class.

When she hadn't called me yesterday, I had told myself it was because she was trying not to seem too forward by calling me too soon. I was trying to stay positive at the time, and I guessed that was the most likely explanation. But now that I'd seen her and processed her reaction to me, I realized that my worst fears were true.

She'd regretted everything.

* * *

**AN: Don't freak out on me. Bella's POV is next. All will be better, trust me. **

**Thanks to all of you who are reviewing. I almost cried and gave up a couple chapters ago when I didn't get anything but a couple. Then I was encouraged by a friend of mine to continue, and as soon as I was reengergized, a couple more reviews came in. ****So, thanks to all of you who are taking time out to leave your comments. They really are live's bread for us writers. You are the reason we do this! :D**

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	18. Chapter 17 Communication, What's That?

Chapter 17 – Communication, What's That?

~ Bella ~

I knew the moment I had answered the phone that I shouldn't have taken Jake's call. Something inside me told me I owed him an explanation for ditching him at the Gala, but a bigger part of me knew that Jake wasn't one to let things go.

He hated Edward, a fact that he'd made clear at the Gala, but I didn't understand where that loathing had come from. Now, I did.

However, I never expected to hear Jake tell me that Edward was a scoundrel. Perhaps a player and a cheater, maybe even a ladies' man, but never that he was a snob. After everything Edward told me about his past, I couldn't see him being so petty as to break up with a girl based on social class alone.

I knew there had to be more to the story, but how would I broach the subject with Edward without it being awkward? Obviously, Jake wasn't the most reliable source of information, and I didn't want to talk to Rachel about it. I didn't think it would be kind of me to ask about a boy who had broken her heart, not to mention the fact that I had slept with him – it would probably be a little hard for her to hear.

Rachel was a sweet girl. I'd met her a couple of times, since she went to the University of Washington at the same time Jake and I did. She was a little older than us, finishing her undergrad while we were beginning our college careers. By the time I had met her, she'd already broken up with her Silver Spooned Snob, as Jake had dubbed him.

She never seemed destroyed by the separation, at least not as bad as Jake had implied her to be during our phone call. I just sat there and listened to him rant about how bad a time Rachel had trying to get over him, seeing if the pieces fit with what I knew of my Green Eyes. But what Jake had told me didn't make any sense. I thought he was getting a little paranoid, for he kept insisting that Edward was someone I didn't believe him to be. I didn't really respond to him, and I think Jake knew that he had pissed me off because he made up some vague excuse to go. I didn't argue, and I hardly remember saying goodbye to him.

So this was the point where I started to doubt myself. It was a war of the Bellas inside my head. The new, radiant, confident Bella would argue that even if Edward turned out to be a jackass, he still deserved to be heard out. After all, everyone made mistakes at one point in their lives; I could attest to that fact. The old, self-conscious, self-doubting Bella would choose to cut her losses and move on with the small amount of dignity she had left.

"You've got to be kidding, Bella," Rose admonished when I had finished telling her and Alice about what Jake had told me. We'd decided to dish over three ice cream sundaes; their excuse being that they needed chocolate since I was the only one who had any decent sex in a while. And let me say, neither of them was convinced of Jake's veracity when it came to men, especially ones I had slept with. "I swear to you, Bella, if you brush this guy off because of what that jealous asshole says, I'm going to kick your skinny behind!"

"Jake's not jealous, Rose," I argued. "He's only looking out for my well-being."

"No, he's looking out for his own interests, Bella. When are you going to realize that Jake is head over heels for you and he'd do anything to win some brownie points?"

"Including embellishing a couple vague details about a relationship his sister may or may not have had with a certain sex god that made you scream like no one's business last night," Alice added, licking her spoon coated in chocolate fudge. My face heated at her comment as I was reminded — once again — that I could be quite loud where a naked Edward was concerned.

"And if you give up the opportunity to have more nights like that simply because of Jake's bullshit, I will go into a severe depression out of protest," Rose concurred, crossing her arms in front of her chest for emphasis.

"Fine," I conceded, smiling softly at my two friends and their no-bullshit expressions. "I will call him tomorrow."

"No," Alice argued, pushing my cell phone closer to me as she finished. "You will call him now."

"I don't want to seem over eager," I retorted, shaking my head in protest.

"But you are eager, Bella," Rose pointed out with a mouthful of vanilla ice cream. "Hell, _I'm_ eager for you to get some more. I haven't seen you smile this much in a very long time. It suits you."

_Am I really smiling?_

Knowing that my outward appearance matched the elation I felt on the inside every time I thought about my night with Edward made me smile even wider. With the coercion my friends directed at me, I'd decided to make good on my promises to myself: no more doubting, no more second guessing. I would live life to its fullest — grab the cock by the balls, and all that. At least, I went to bed with that mantra firmly on my mind.

I'd resolved not to call Edward until the next day; I wanted to make sure I could fully comprehend what had taken place, without the bullshit Jake tried to squish in the middle of it. Sleeping with him out of the blue like that was a huge jump for me. It rattled my outlook on our relationship because in my experience, ones that start off in that kind of situation only lasted a short period of time. The pretenses are all screwed up, out of whack because the basework for a solid foundation had never done. And there could be a lot of assumptions on both sides that could lead to pre-judgments about each other's character. I didn't want that to happen, but I didn't see a way past it.

I slept uneasily that night because I couldn't shut off my internal monologue. It seemed my confident Bella slept like a log, probably still enjoying the post-coital haze after drinking another round of Amaretto. Old Bella, however, was wide awake, running over different scenarios and situations that could hinder my chances with Edward.

Monday morning came quickly, and my legs were like lead as I dragged myself into the shower. The hot water felt good against my skin, but I could feel the weight of the impending phone call to Edward weighing heavily on my subconscious.

I had decided last night during my insomnia that I would try to get through my busy day first before calling him. I knew that I was probably just putting off the inevitable rejection, but there wasn't anything thing I could do about it if that was the case.

I toweled off quickly and noticed that my room had mysteriously transformed into a fashion war zone. Clothes and shoes had been tossed out of my closet, my lingerie drawer was half open, as if someone had dug her tiny little paws through all my goods. My insides grumbled.

_Alice..._

"On point, ladies," the harpy in question screamed from down the hallway. I rolled my eyes, exasperated. "Bella, your approved clothing is on your bed. I will be in your room to coiffure your hair in ten minutes. Be ready!"

On my bed, there was a silk, blue blouse and a pair of dark brown pants. She had some four inch heels laid out beside it. I had to object to that, pulling out my brown flats that I purchased specifically to go with the pants. I had challenged my luck enough that weekend with wearing my black heels to the Gala. I would not be pushing my odds once again, simply to pacify Alice's weird obsessions.

All three of us were teaching an Advanced Cardiac Life Support class this afternoon, and Alice was convinced that we needed to look our best for it. Usually, I would don some old scrubs and call it good. But she wanted us wearing modern business attire that characterized, and I quote, 'our chic class with a little sass'. _My god..._

Her avid rampage through my closet this morning in search for my 'uniform' was a direct result of my complete naivety last night. Before we turned in, I had mistakenly left out the class roster on the kitchen counter, listing the attendees for the day.

It didn't have the names listed, but it described where each student worked so that we could develop scenarios for testing pertaining to their specialty. For example, there were three ICU nurses enrolled, along with one Cath Lab nurse, four from the Medical/Surgical floor, five Respiratory Therapists, and three from Labor and Delivery. The one thing that got her attention and sent Alice into an uproar was the listing of three Paramedics from Seattle Fire Department.

And she was off in a flurry...

I tried to explain to her that just because there were going to be three firemen in the class didn't mean that our boys would be there. She didn't listen to me at all, automatically convinced that The Fates had answered her silent plea, setting up a new scenario for her and Jasper's romance to blossom once more.

"Morning, sunshine," Rose mumbled around her breakfast muffin as she sauntered into my room. At this point, I had managed to only put on the matching bra and panty set Alice had set out for me, but since the chonies were cheekies, half my ass was on display. Rose, never one to miss an opportunity to show off the dude hidden within her feminine exterior, slapped my ass cheek with the ferocity of a frat boy.

"Ow, damn it Rosalie," I growled, rubbing my stinging butt as Rosalie giggled.

"You look hot, B," she replied, gazing on my scantily clad body. "Bet you're glad we went to that waxing appointment now, aren't you. Eddie must have liked your vag-tastic landscaping."

My stomach clenched at her words and pit of fear churned within my chest. "You don't think he noticed, do you?" I asked her, feeling like the storm clouds were descending upon me.

"Hell yeah, he noticed. Weren't you the one who said he went down on you twice? Bella, I've told you before, a man likes it when a woman is well groomed. He's going to expect it from now on, you know."

And with that last statement, all my internal fears were realized.

"No," I grumbled, pulling my blouse into my face as my groin cringed in protest. I pictured the little Asian, suga-square peddling woman who'd been my torturer in my mind. She was laughing above me, several strips of heated wax in her hand as her eyes blazed red, ready to bring me pain that only the most evil of creatures should have to endure.

"Stop being so dramatic, Bella," Rose chuckled at my reaction. "It's not that bad."

"The fuck it's not," I cried, glaring at her over my shirt. It was her fault that I'd have to do it again, just to keep myself as clean for Edward as I had been the night before. "Maybe he won't notice if I let it grow out again."

Rose came to me quickly, grabbing my trembling hands and pulling them away from my face.

"Get it together, man," she said in her best military voice. "You will put on a brave face, soldier. Embrace your femininity!"

"Isn't that what I'm doing?" I retorted with a humorless chuckle. "Letting my natural feminine goods grow."

"Ewww, gross, Bella," Rosalie replied, crinkling her nose like she smelled something offensive. "You can't do that."

"Why not," I whined like a petulant child. I even stomped my feet a couple times as an added effect.

"Well, first of all, it will itch like a mother fucker when it starts growing back," she answered with her hands on her hips. "Do you want to give him the impression that you got some kind of disease down there that causes you to scratch?"

"Oh my gosh," I screamed, throwing myself down onto the bed in exasperation.

"It gets easier, Bella," Rosalie laughed, sitting next to me and patting my head like a little dog. "After the first couple times, your hair follicles just give in to the pain, believe me."

"Isabella Marie, why aren't you dressed?" Alice asked, walking into the room with a green mud mask on her face, her hair in a towel turban. The sight was so sudden that Rose and I both burst out laughing as Alice began tapping her foot impatiently. "I'm not messing around with you this morning, Bella. Get your clothes on or I'll..."

"Alright, alright," I conceded through my chuckles. "Give me a minute."

The girls left me alone so I could change into my approved attire for the day. Alice was back within the allotted fifteen minutes she'd given me, sans the green mask and turban. We'd left the house by eight thirty that morning, heading toward the hospital.

It was Nikki's last day, and her discharge home had been hanging over me like a menacing storm cloud. I was beyond ecstatic that she was feeling well enough to be discharged, but I knew once she got home, the gravity of her loss would hit her hard. In the Peds unit, she was constantly being looked after. She'd had visitors and staff doting on her every need. But once she got home, a lot of that would change. Her aunt and uncle had four other children, and Nikki would probably feel a little overwhelmed with the change. I knew her family would make sure she received therapy and the best care possible, it was just a lot for a little girl to handle.

Alice and Rosalie came with me to say their quick goodbyes to Nikki, then left to set up our classroom with the ACLS posters and dummies we used for CPR. I entered her room with a shy knock at the door and was greeted by her uncle Peter.

"Hi, Bella," he smiled at me warmly. "Glad you made it. I was just going to head to the nursing station to finish up her discharge papers." Peter excused himself quickly and I made my way to Nikki's bed. She was dressed in her 'going home' outfit that Alice had helped her pick out from a Gap Kids catalogue. It was a sweet, blue tiered dress with multi-colored polka-dots. She was so excited when she'd picked it out, and she immediately stood on her bed so she could show it off to me.

"Baby, sit down," I giggled, holding my hand out for support as she plopped back down onto the mattress. "You look gorgeous, but you're going to get hurt if you fall, silly."

"Come sit with me, Bella," she said, pulling on my arm with all her might. I smiled warmly as I joined her on the stiff mattress. I couldn't imagine how she'd been able to stand sleeping on that rough thing all this time, but I guessed kids were resilient.

"You excited to go home, princess?" I asked her, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ears. She nodded, but her expression didn't match her response. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to miss you," she said, falling onto her back so that we could tuck into the bed together, like we had done countless times on my many visits up to see her. I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her into my chest as I told her I'd miss her too.

"Will you come visit me?" she asked, and the sadness in her voice made my stomach hurt.

"Of course I will," I promised her, running my fingers through her hair in a comforting gesture.

"You promise?" she asked with a little sniffle, and the sound was so innocent that it made me smile.

"I promise."

"Sing for me?" she asked, as she often did when I'd come to see her. It had become our own private ritual, and I realized in that moment that she was the only other person who meant something to me that had heard me sing, besides Edward of course. But I didn't know he was in the room when I was performing, or what he'd come to mean to me in the end.

"Sure, baby. What would you like me to sing?"

"I don't know," she said, and my mind immediately started going through a list of her favorites, trying to find something appropriate for our final private concert. "Maybe something new. Do you have anything that would make me not so sad, Bella?"

"Hmmm...I think I have just the one," I answered her, and my eyes started prickling as I sang to her. It was a song that had come to mean a great deal to me over the years. After my father had died, I had tried to cope with the heavy loss I had felt, emphasized by the sense of betrayal I had toward my mother. I often wore a mask on the outside during that time, trying to seem tougher and more grounded than I truly was. I was still amazed by how fitting the lyrics were as I sang.

"... If you smile through your pain and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through. If you'll just smile..."

The notes broke off as my voice cracked; it was too much. My loss was a long time ago, but sometimes it became as acute and painful as if it had happened yesterday. And with Nikki's heartache, I couldn't finish. I felt the tears prick my eyes as my hold on Nikki tightened.

"I miss my mommy and daddy," she cried, her tears flowing into my shirt, but I didn't care.

"I know, baby," I told her, feeling her pain so sharply, it was hard to breathe. "I know it hurts, little one. They loved you so much, you have to know that."

"Then why did they leave me?" she cried, pulling back to look at me. I almost cringed as I saw the desperation in her tiny face, and in that moment, I saw a young version of myself reflecting back at me. "Why didn't they fight harder to stay if they really loved me?"

"Oh, baby. They did fight as hard as they could. I know that if they could, they'd be holding you right now. How could anyone not love you, Nikki? My sweet girl, you are precious. Your Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Peter love you very much, and they are going to take good care of you."

I told her the words that I wished someone had told me. I gave her the comfort that I had needed all that time ago, when my mother was too busy with her new boyfriend to offer any support to her grieving daughter. It was true for me and it was true for her; I just didn't want her to go through the pain of trying to discover that truth on her own. She deserved more; she needed to know it now...

"And you promised, Bella," Nikki cried, holding onto my shirt as if it were a lifeline. It killed me to see her so desperate for reassurance. "You said that you were going to come and see me. You didn't lie, did you Bella?"

"No, baby," I told her firmly. "I didn't lie. I will come and see you as often as I can."

Just then, I heard a soft cough from the door way. I turned to see Edward standing just inside the room. He looked gloriously disheveled, as if he'd just crawled out of bed. His army T-shirt and jeans ensemble was the most casually dressed I'd ever seen him, and he looked positively gorgeous. His expression was sheepish, as if he had overheard something he shouldn't have. Peter stood directly behind him with Nikki's discharge paperwork.

Was he watching us the whole time?

I felt the heat of my embarrassment climb up my neck and I immediately shut myself off. I had always been an incredibly private person, and I never shared much about my life with others, including Rose and Alice. Sure, I could talk about my sex life or lack thereof, but when it came to my past, not many people got through my heavily constructed, barb wired fence I had built up...except for Edward.

That night we had spent together, he had disarmed me in so many ways that it had left me feeling vulnerable, and I didn't like feeling so exposed around him, especially if he was the pretentious asshole Jake had claimed him to be. I had shared so much with Edward that night, but I wasn't sure if I had trusted my inner feelings to someone who'd only used them to his advantage. I never really had time to process Jake's accusation against him, expecting that I'd be able to gauge Edward's sincerity from a safe distance across the phone lines. Seeing him so suddenly and while I was emotionally vulnerable brought all that insecurity to the forefront. I immediately felt awkward near him, and it shocked me how sudden and sharp it had become in his presence.

Nikki jumped off the bed and ran to Edward, oblivious of my mood change. They shared some greetings but my mind wasn't able to focus on it. My thoughts were whirling with Edward. I clambered off the bed, trying to fix my clothing and look somewhat presentable. I had a class to teach, after all.

"Hi," Edward greeted as I approached the door.

"Hello," I replied in a flat tone.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his expression a little defensive. I glanced around the room, trying to make sure that Nikki didn't sense any of the sudden tension between us. I didn't want her around any more stress than she had to deal with. "Why haven't you called? I left you my number."

"Edward, I'm late for a class," I attempted to placate, but I didn't think he bought it because he still seemed upset."Can I talk to you later?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll talk to you later," he agreed, but he didn't look at me. He quickly said his goodbyes to Nikki and left from the room. I was left wondering if I had been too abrupt with him. I didn't mean to drive him away, but his reaction to me seemed to put him in a foul mood.

"You didn't call him last night," Emmett said to me in a low voice. I looked up to see him gazing at me with slanted smirk on his face.

"Excuse me?"

"Edward can kind of get a little pissy when he doesn't get his way," Emmett explained while he watched Nikki saying her goodbyes to some of the nursing staff out in the hallway. "He wanted you to call..."

"Oh..." I trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

"I'm Emmett, by the way," he held out his large hand with a huge smile on his face. I smiled back, taking his hand in an awkward shake. He looked just as rumpled as Edward had looked, and I remembered that he had told me in his note that they had worked the day before.

"Bella," I said as way of introduction.

"Yeah, I know who you are," he said with a sly smile, and my face heated at his implication. "No, no. I don't mean it that way," he laughed. "Edward would never tell me anything too personal, don't worry. He just talks a lot about you, has for a while now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. I hadn't known Edward that long...

Emmett laughed, "Seems you caught ol' Eddie's eye a long time ago, and he hasn't been able to get you off his mind since."

"Really?" I asked, thinking of the night at Big Ed's where I had first seen Edward. He'd been on my mind since then. Was it the same for him?

"Yup," Emmett reponded. "Seems to be a lot of that going around lately," he said in a somber tone, making me take notice.

I looked at him then, watched as his face changed from the carefree expression to one of silent torment.

"Rose?" I asked knowingly. He didn't reply; he didn't have to. I saw the bridge of his nose wrinkle slightly as his eyes narrowed. Yeah, it was Rose...

"She feels the same way about you, you know," I said with a faint smile. Emmett looked at me questioningly. After a moment, he shook his head and looked away.

"If she did, she would have given me a chance at the Gala. She didn't, Bella. I know you mean well, but I think you're mistaken."

"She had some stuff going on that night, Emmett. Give her a chance. Plus, you were with another woman." He made a motion to argue, but I held up my hands to stop him. "She was Jasper's cousin, I know. It's just that Rosalie has had a hard past with men, but it's not my business to talk about. She likes you – a lot. Trust me..."

He looked at me for several moments, probably gauging my sincerity.

"I will," he finally said with a smile. "But only if you promise to give Eddie another shot. He's a good man, Bella. Don't hurt him. He's been through enough shit lately."

His comment immediately brought images of that bitch Tanya Denali to my mind. She had looked like a vengeful harpy that night, leering at Edward and accusing him of being unfaithful. Edward had looked tormented and heartbroken; nothing like the scoundrel Jake had painted him to be. It was in that moment that a monumental wave of guilt washed over me for being so standoffish with Edward.

If what Emmett said was true, Edward liked me as much as I liked him. But now that I had given him the cold shoulder, I didn't know where I stood with him. What he thought of me, I couldn't possibly imagine.

* * *

**AN: I had to cut this one in half, so the next chapter should be up soon. **

**Thank you for all of the reviews last time. Your words meant the world to me, really. And I dedicate this chapter title to all of those who'd been begging for some _communication. _LOL!**

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	19. Chapter 18 ACLS

Chapter 18 – ACLS

~ Bella ~

It turned out that my little omniscient friend had correctly foreseen that our boys would be in our review course that afternoon and I was in near convulsions when I realized that fact. I had just finished setting up my station when the students started piling in. It was when Emmett called my name, pulled me into a huge bear hug and rifled my hair into a rat's nest that I discovered they were in attendance.

As if I wasn't uncomfortable enough having to teach the object of my obsession, my rash reaction to seeing Edward this morning in Nikki's room probably raised my anxiety level up a couple notches. I watched pathetically as Edward entered the room without a word, quietly taking a seat in the back of the classroom. He had a pair of shades on, not looking in my general direction at all.

Emmett went to sit beside him along with Jasper, who I recognized from the Gala. Rose had come up to me, softly asking me what Edward's deal was to which I shook my head slightly telling her that now was not the time. She nodded and made her way to her station, occasionally shooting glances toward the back of the room, exchanging from a look of concern to confusion. Taking a deep breath, I addressed the classroom full of my peers.

"Welcome to Harborview," I said warmly from the front of the class, trying my hardest to keep my gaze away from the stunningly gorgeous man in the back of the room who was currently acting like he was snoozing under his dark shades. Apparently I wasn't worth listening to, and it seemed that in forty-eight hours, I had managed to go from feeling like a goddess under his skilled hands to something worse than pond scum.

_Perfect, Swan..._

"I'm Bella Swan and I work in the Emergency Department here at Harborview." My smile was totally fake, but I tried to sound more at ease than I felt. "Some of you I recognize from the hospital and some of you I haven't had the privilege to work with, so I just wanted to say hi. This is a refresher course, so it will be a pretty laid back atmosphere. Don't hesitate to ask in-depth questions; we all assume you know the material."

I received several head nods and one yawn from a snotty bitch who I recognized from the Intensive Care Unit at Harborview. She was one of those fucking ICU nurses who thought they were better than everyone else, so I knew she was going to be fun to teach. Plus, it didn't escape my notice that she'd been eyeballing Edward with a 'come fuck me' look. I could feel my claws extending.

"I'd like to take a minute to introduce your instructors for today. Rosalie Hale is a RN from the ED; she'll be taking over the Mega-Code station." Rosalie gave a little wave from her station, and from the corner of my eye, I could see Emmett lean over and whisper something to Edward. He just nodded and gave him a curt smile in return.

"Alice Brandon is also from ED, and she'll be running the Bradycardia and Asystole pathways," I continued my introductions, pointing to a beaming Alice who was bouncing like a little jack rabbit in her corner. She was obviously excited for the class to start. "I will go over Tachycardia and the Stroke protocols. Any questions?"

"Yeah," the ICU bitch sneered. "How long is this going to take?"

"The class is scheduled until four thirty," I replied in a placating tone. "But maybe we'll be able to get out of here a little early." She gave me a fake ass smile and crossed her arms across her chest as I began a short lecture on the Stroke pathways.

After a fifteen minute review, the class was split into three groups so that each could be tested on the various aspects of the ACLS protocols. In my first group, I had the four Med/Surg nurses. They were a little rusty, but passed the testing phase with flying colors. We finished fairly quickly and the four of them sparked up a light conversation as I prepared my paperwork for the next group.

"Okay, let's go over some of the H's and T's for this patient," I heard Rose instruct her small group, and I took a minute to glance over at her. She was sitting cross-legged on a tall stool next to the CPR dummy, a simulating crash cart hooked up to its chest. The small group was sitting in a crescent around her, going over the material for a full arrest situation. "Remember, we found him down in a grocery store, foaming at the mouth. Any suggestions?"

"Hypoxia," one of nurses answered, and Rose nodded her assent.

"Hypovolemia," another one answered.

Rose scrunched her face, "Possibly, especially if it was a warm day or if the patient was elderly. But then again, if he were frail, he most likely wouldn't be out shopping alone. Anyone else?"

"How about a heartbreakingly beautiful woman," I heard a man say in a smooth voice, and I looked up to see Rose blushing furiously. "I know that when I see a heartbreakingly beautiful woman, I nearly go into cardiac arrest."

"M-m-mr. McCarty—"

"Emmett," he corrected with a sly smirk. Rose cleared her throat softly before she continued.

"I don't think that is a cause listed by the American Heart Association, Mr. McCarty. Perhaps you need to study more."

"Are you offering a tutoring session, Ms. Hale?" Emmett looked coy, staring at Rose with such a suggestive expression, I could feel the sexual tension from across the room. I saw Edward scoff while Jasper started shaking his head in exasperation. Both of them had small smirks on their faces. Rosalie stared at him, crossing her legs tightly as she bit her lip, her eyes hooded. I knew that look; it was the one she got before she pounced.

"Time's up," I called quickly, hoping to stop the two of them before they threw down in the middle of the floor. I didn't think the class needed any refreshers on the intricacies of the mating process on top of Flirtation 101.

The groups stretched and chatted softly as they changed stations. I waited for Rosalie to break her gaze with Emmett, but it didn't happen until Jasper grabbed him forcefully, pulling him toward his next destination and muttering, "Come on, lover boy."

I coached the second group, comprised of the nurse from Cath Lab and three from the Maternity Unit. It was a rough go for them, especially since they weren't exposed to code situations as the other nurses were. I had to jump in often, sending two of them to remediation with the head instructor at the end to the course so she could test them more fully. I hated it when that happened because I didn't like having to fail fellow peers. But I guessed if they weren't safe for patient care, then it was best for them to repeat the information until they were.

By the time the next group came around, I was tired and ready for the day to end.

"Can I talk to you for a moment," a soft voice said behind me, and I turned to see Edward standing there looking forlorn. I inwardly sighed, then nodded. We stepped out into the hall as Rosalie instructed the class to take a ten minute break. I shot her a thankful smile before disappearing out of the room with Edward.

He was standing stock still, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was staring at the floor with his sunglasses turned backward on his head. He looked so out of sorts that it took me a minute to find my bearings enough so I could approach him without sounding like a bumbling idiot.

"Hey," I mumbled, coming to stand in front of him.

"Hi," he replied just as lowly.

"Look, I'm really sorry about earlier, Edward," I said, looking at him beseechingly. "I was upset about Nikki and something Jake said, I —"

"Jake?" he said in a shocked tone, looking up to meet my gaze. "What does Black have to do with this?"

"Nothing," I replied. "Well, he wasn't very happy that I left without saying goodbye Saturday night. He called me the next morning, chewing my butt out. He started saying some stuff to piss me off and I let him get to me. I took my worries out on you, and I'm sorry."

"I'm probably overreacting, Bella," Edward said on a sigh, running his fingers through his hair making it look even more deliciously disheveled than before, and I smiled slightly at the sight. "I just really like you...a lot, actually; so much so that you've been all I can think about for weeks now. And the way you were kind of distant this morning made me start to wonder if you didn't feel the same way. It was incredibly disappointing and I —"

I couldn't stop myself then; I launched myself into his body, careening into him as I threw my arms around his neck, pulling his face toward mine. Before I could even contemplate the repercussions of kissing one of my students out in a hallway at my place of employment, I attached my trembling lips to his. Shocked at first, Edward quickly recovered and grasped my body to his. He opened his mouth, inviting me in and I was all too willing to deepen the kiss.

His words to me were so simple but meant the world to me. He felt the same way I did, and that prospect had me inwardly grinning so wide that my cheeks were bursting from the force of it.

We broke apart, both slightly winded from our impromptu make-out session. I looked up into his eyes and saw happiness and contentment mixed within the jade. But there were also questions in his gaze, and I figured I'd better explain myself, for my heady actions were probably sudden and inappropriate given our current location.

"I'm sorry," I giggled. "I just...I can't believe you think of me, too. I had such a wonderful night two days ago, Edward. I felt things that night I had never experienced with another person. I like you, so much it's probably pathetic, actually."

"Not pathetic, love; I feel the same way." He cupped my face in his hands, slowly bending down to press his lips to mine once more. The kiss was soft and sweet, but somehow communicating more to me than any declaration ever could. I inwardly sighed in contentment.

"Bella," Rose's voice echoed into the hall, causing us to break away reluctantly. "It's time." I looked at her and nodded. She smiled sweetly in return, then disappeared back into the classroom.

"What are you doing later?" Edward asked me as we slowly made our way back. His arm was slung along my shoulders; mine was wrapped around his waist.

"Nothing," I answered. "I was planning on calling you."

"Well, I have to work tomorrow, so I can't stay out too late, but want to grab some dinner after this?"

"Sure," I replied. "I'd love that."

"Good," he said, kissing my forehead softly before we walked into the classroom.

His group was with me this round, and I felt myself get slightly nervous at the idea of having to quiz my...boyfriend? I wasn't sure what to call him, but that idea made me gleeful inside.

The group sat in front of me, the set up similar to Rose's at the Mega Code station. The three boys from the Fire Department sat off to the side, while the two nurses from the ICU took the seats closest to me. I reintroduced myself and explained the different testing applications for my section. For the stroke portion, I was to give them a stack of cards listing treatments and timing of onset of symptoms. They were to arrange them in order, correctly identifying the different pathways for an acute stroke caused by either a hemorrhage or ischemia.

The snotty nurse volunteered to go first, and I saw on her ID badge that her name was Kim. "This should be easy enough," she boasted with a bored sigh, and began shuffling through the different options.

As Kim started working with her pathway cards, I noticed the guys weren't paying all that much attention. Emmett was blatantly staring at Rosalie, who was trying her damnedest to ignore his outright perusal. She was hardly keeping focus on her group; I could hear her fumbling her words, furtively glancing in Emmett's direction so as to not bring attention to the source of her distraction.

And Jasper kept shooting quizzical glances over to Alice's side of the room. She was smiling brightly at him and winking suggestively between sets of her Bradycardia scenarios. I realized then that Alice and Jasper probably hadn't had the opportunity to talk since the Gala and Jasper was probably still under the assumption that Alice hated him.

The last time he had seen her, she was wrapped around Embry while shooting glares at Jasper and his date. He had no idea that Alice knew the truth that his date was, in fact, his cousin, and was, at this very moment, planning and strategizing ways to get him alone. He had no clue how relentless she was going to be, gunning for a Fate's blessed kinship with him. In that moment, I felt sorry for the poor guy. He didn't know the storm that was to be Alice, was about to come crashing into his life.

Edward, on the other hand, only had eyes for me. He was gazing at me with a hooded expression that made my girlie parts squeal with excitement. I gave him a covert warning with my eyes, trying not to bring too much attention to the fact that he was currently undressing me with his gaze, but it seemed to only encourage his actions. He gave me a panty-dropping slanted smirk, moving his eyes down my body as I sat numbly on my stool. When he got to my hips, he paused and overtly licked his lips. I barely stifled a groan.

"Done," Kim announced, abruptly bringing me out of my lust-filled daze. I took a look at her work and found that she had correctly lined up the pathways and signed her pass sheet for that section. She took it from me swiftly with a flick of her wrist, then sat down on her seat with a little humph.

Jasper volunteered to go next, and then Edward. Both of them went through the cards without any difficulty, and the fact that Edward was so proficient at his job made him seem even hotter somehow. I grinned as he sauntered back to his seat, catching a good view of how hot his ass looked in his jeans.

Emmett was the last to go, and he took his sweet ass time trying to set up his final draft of the stroke protocols. He tried to maintain small talk with me throughout, and I had to keep gently reminding him that he was in the middle of a test; I could see Edward chuckling every time.

"So, you really think Rosie would go out with me?" he asked as he worked the cards.

"Not if you call her that," I replied in a hushed tone. "And you're not supposed to me talking, so hush."

"She's hot, though," he said after a few minutes. "She looks like a Rosie."

"And I'm telling you, if you call her that, you might end up castrated. Now, hush."

"Psh, she wouldn't do that to me," he argued, glancing over at her with a confident expression. "She's feisty as hell, though. Oh boy..."

"Emmett —"

"I know, I know...hush," he replied, and he was silent from then on.

The next phase of my testing was the Tachycardia scenarios. The group was to identify what kind of tachycardia the monitor was showing, and then give me the appropriate interventions for treatment based on the ACLS guidelines. Kim volunteered to go next again, and I bet she assumed she could leave the class after her turn.

"Okay, what rhythm is this?" I asked, looking at her expectantly.

"Rapid atrial fibrillation," she answered quickly, her head tilted to the side in her utter boredom. She was starting to really grate on my nerves.

"And this one?" I asked, switching my simulator to another mode.

"Super Ventricular Tachycardia," she sighed again, and I nodded that she was correct.

"Good. Okay, let's say that you have a patient in your ICU that had a sudden onset of SVT. The rate is over 200, but the other vitals are stable for now. What is the treatment for the patient?"

"Bolus with fluid if the patient isn't already overloaded. Can try vagal maneuvers if the patient is able to; if the heart is non-responsive, set up for cardioversion."

"You got the first part correct," I said in a coaching tone, trying to seem supportive as I lead her in the right direction. "You have the wrong pathway at the end, though. Can you think of a different avenue of treatment for this scenario?"

"What?" she asked with a grimace on her face, her tone biting. "I'm not wrong. That is the treatment for an SVT."

"No," I said calmly. "Not in this situation. Think about your scenario again. What information do you have about your patient?"

"I don't need to review the information," she growled, placing her hands on her hips as she took a step toward me. "I'm right and you are wrong. The next step in the pathway is to cardiovert." I noticed that several of the students who weren't in the middle of testing were watching our conversation with interest. I saw that Edward was looking at the girl intently, his posture somewhat tense.

"I'm sorry, that's not the right answer," I replied, trying to keep my voice low as to not bring more attention to ourselves. "Let's take a look at the data —"

"No," she interrupted. "If you weren't so busy making googly eyes at the firemen, then maybe _you_ would know information. I've never seen anything so pathetic, and it's truly disgusting. I request a new instructor, immediately."

"What's the problem?" Rosalie said, coming up to stand beside me as Kim fumed. I was so shocked by her outburst that my mouth was hanging open. She'd managed to disrupt the entire course and accused me of being an unfit instructor. I may have been slightly distracted by Edward, but I wasn't so bad off to not know the material. I lived and breathed that shit on a day-to-day basis, and I was affronted that she'd think otherwise. When I didn't reply, Jasper chimed in.

"It seems that Kim is mistaken with her test, and is accusing Bella of being biased in some way."

"I am _not_ wrong," Kim snarled through her teeth. "She is."

"No, my dear," Jasper replied calmly. "You are wrong. The patient is stable, and in a stable Tachycardia, the next treatment is to administer Adenosine. Cardioversion is reserved for the unstable patient, Kim."

She was silent for several minutes, looking at Jasper as if he had two heads. I could feel the fury inside of me start to ebb as Kim remained resolutely still. I knew she was probably embarrassed for acting like a total bitch when she was wrong in the first place, but I couldn't find it in my heart to feel sorry for her.

"Kim, why don't we finish your testing with Krystal?" Rosalie said, ushering Kim out into the office of the head instructor from the AHA. Kim followed her with her head held high, and I started to worry that she'd report my insidious behavior to my supervisor.

"Don't worry," Jasper said softly, patting my shoulder in a comforting way. "She's more embarrassed by her behavior than anything. I'm sure she'd be grateful to just finish her testing and be on her way."

I nodded numbly, taking a deep breath in attempt to prepare myself to complete with my group. I turned to see Edward looking at me with an apologetic look, and I knew in that moment that he'd probably stayed away during the confrontation as to not give Kim's accusations more credence; I smiled at him in silent thanks.

We finished the rest of the class without incidence, and I was glad to see we were done an entire thirty minutes early. The students started piling out, giving us their thanks while giving me empathetic looks. I internally grimaced, hoping that the fact I'd probably see some of these people again at work wouldn't make working at Harborview uncomfortable.

The girls and I started packing up our materials when I noticed the boys still hanging out in the corner, quietly muttering amongst themselves.

"He's very sweet," Rosalie said in an off-handed sort of way.

"Yes, he is," I replied with a soft smile.

"He really looked concerned for you when that bitch went off half-cocked."

"I know," I said, pulling out a box for the ambu bags and respiratory equipment. "He's really attentive."

"So I've heard," she giggled.

We worked quickly, finishing up the clean up job in another fifteen minutes. The boys were waiting for us near the door; Emmett looked excited and eager, Edward looked happy and expectant, but Jasper still had a guarded look on his face, glancing at Alice furtively as she beamed at him brightly.

"So," Emmett pronounced loudly, slapping his hand on my shoulder. "What are we doing tonight?"

* * *

**AN: Thanks to Hibbleton & Neliz. They have both put so much time into reviewing this story for me. **

**So here are your options for the evening, since my readers get to pick. A.) Karaoke bar, where Bella gets to sing B.) Head out for night on the town C.) Eddie & Bellie blow off their friends and have a night alone. **

**Reviewers get previews!**


	20. Chapter 19 Clumsy

Chapter 19 - Clumsy

~ Edward ~

We'd decided to meet up with the girls later that evening, giving us a chance to unwind from the previous day. The three of us guys were exhausted from just coming off shift and still a filthy mess — a fact that we were both proud and embarrassed of. Proud because the girls seemed to take pity on us, fawning over their pungent, brave heroes like we'd gone off to war; it was kind of cool. And it especially didn't hurt when we told them all about our four-alarm structure fire at the King building that we'd battled in the middle of the night.

Okay, we _may _have fudged the details a little — it was Emmett who did most of the fibbing; Jazz and I just never bothered to correct him. We were stinky and smelly, and having the girls believe we'd been up fighting a threatening fire was better than the shameful truth: we were just too damn lazy to bathe that morning.

The girls had made some crazy excuse about getting changed and prepared — whatever that meant — so they didn't mind pushing back dinner a couple of hours. Of course, I thought Bella looked amazing in her sexy teacher outfit, but I guessed she didn't live up to her little friend's standards because Alice promptly stopped Bella's protests and insisted on a 'costume change'. Bella reluctantly agreed when I told her that Jasper, Emmett, and I could all use a nap and a shower.

"Hmmm, can't I come with you?" she asked in a seductive tone as I hugged her goodbye. We were standing in the middle of the parking lot at the hospital, both of us not willing to let the other go just yet. Rosalie and Emmett were talking in hushed tones by the curb, both looking like the topic of their conversation was serious. Alice hadn't wasted anytime with Jasper, however. As soon as we'd stepped out of the hospital, she'd dragged him over toward her car and promptly began mauling him, her mouth becoming a suctioning vacuum upon his. He didn't seem to mind, although his blatant shock at her behavior was hilarious.

"I wish, baby. But I really need some sleep, especially with what I have planned later." Her eyebrows quirked in question, a small seductive smirk formed on her plush lips.

"Later?" she asked silkily.

"Yeah, when we can ditch the others and make a run for it back to my place," I replied as I wagged my eyebrows suggestively while twirling my invisible mustache. It was such an Emmett move that I immediately cringed at my idiocy, but Bella found my vaudeville villain impression funny and she laughed whole-heartedly, throwing her head back in mirth. I liked seeing her that happy, and glad I was the one putting a smile on her face.

"Sounds like a plan, Cullen," she said with a giggle. "Want me to pack an overnight bag?"

I shrugged, "If you want to. You could also just bring yourself. I'm sure I could find you something of mine to wear."

I tried to sound innocent about it, but the reality was that having my clothes on a woman had always been a major turn-on for me; I could barely imagine Bella in one of my button-ups without having a very premature _problema_ on my hands — a hard-on in the middle of Bella's place of employment probably wouldn't go over very well. It was bad enough I had practically mauled the poor girl down in the basement earlier. Having her in my arms, her lips on mine after all the tension from Nikki's room was very stimulating. I couldn't just stop at one so I let my mouth explore hers. Before I knew it, she was pressed hard into me and my body was responding in delicious ways.

I knew that being caught up in the moment at her job had embarrassed Bella, so I was trying my damnedest to behave myself as we said goodbye. Her little innuendos and sexy-time speech was driving me crazy, though. She was lucky I was a half-way decent gentleman, for the innate sex-driven beast growling inside of me demanded I take her in my car right that second.

"Your offer is tempting, Cullen," she replied, tapping her chin with her cute little index finger. "And I'm sure I'd like sporting a pair of your boxer briefs for bedtime, but I think I might just end up nude. Clothes can be so cumbersome, don't you think?"

_What is she doing to me?_ Her sensual words were like she was dangling a fucking piece of meat in front of a caged animal. I didn't think she could sense how out of control I was becoming.

"Relax, baby," she said with a giggle, running her hand down my chest in a placating manner as she took in my expression. Maybe she did know what she was doing...

"You ready, Bella?" Rosalie asked; her conversation with Emmett seemed to break some of the ice between the two. They were approaching us hand in hand, a small smile tugging both their features.

"Sure," Bella replied, leaning into my body as she rested her head on my chest. My arms instinctively wrapped around her small frame, cocooning her closer to me right where she belonged.

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked, glancing around the parking lot to see if she could make out her little friend.

"Humping Jasper in the back of her car," Rosalie answered in a nonchalant tone.

"What?" Bella gasped, turning so she could better see Alice's small car from across the lot. "Ewww, I have to sit in that back seat," she balked.

"Relax, Bells," Rosalie giggled. "A little semen never hurt anybody."

"Or a lot..." Emmett added, causing Rosalie to laugh at Bella's disgusted expression.

"I'm kidding, Bella. They're just talking." Rosalie and Emmett were laughing, and it was in that moment that I realized how perfect they were for each other. They were a match made in inappropriate-humor heaven.

We gave Alice and Jasper a few more minutes to square things away. When they finally decided to grace us with their presence, they both looked like they had cleared the air. Jasper had a small smile on his lips and an odd sense of serenity about him. Alice seemed a lot calmer, more relaxed and less...nervous?

Perhaps it was her nerves that caused her to act so strangely during the class. Emmett and I had a hard time keeping a straight face at her station because of the way she was eye-fucking Jasper. She'd alternate between shy little glances and overt come-hither stares. I'd never seen a guy squirm so much in his seat, and I couldn't tell if he was turned on or if he feared for his life. The poor dude thought the broad still hated him, and seeing her do a complete one-eighty in the middle of an ACLS course was hilarious, not to mention the fact that Jasper was having a hard time deciphering her behavior.

Their little pow-wow session in the back of Alice's car seemed to square things away, and I was glad to see that everything seemed to be good for both my friends as well.

With an agreement for Rosalie to call us once their plans were settled, we parted ways and headed home. On the drive, I tried to get Jasper to talk about what had happened with Alice, but he wasn't divulging anything except that she was exactly what she seemed: a little ball of energy that he was quite happy to contain.

Emmett wouldn't shut up about Rosalie, talking about how sensual her lips were and the way she tasted when he'd kissed her. It was then I wondered why Jasper and I had decided to ride with him over to the hospital because I knew the conversation could turn dirty at any moment. When he started talking about how he wanted to bend her over, Jasper and me both put a stop to his shit.

We rushed home and hurried to our respective rooms. I hoped I'd get a chance to squeeze a nap in, but my mind was occupied with all things Bella and I knew I would have a hard time shutting off my brain.

After a long, hot shower, I plopped myself down on my bed with only my towel to keep me covered. As I stared at my ceiling, I thought about my day with Bella. I was overjoyed that we seemed to be back on track. I really liked her and could see myself being with her long-term. But there was something about the way she acted this morning that gave me pause.

Why had she been so spooked when she saw me earlier? Was it because I'd caught her in a tender, private moment with Nikki? I hoped not. She'd shared so much with me the night of the Gala and I hoped she wouldn't be embarrassed to show me her softer side. It was one of the things I found so amazing about her.

I think the moment I heard her sing was a big turning point in my life. I had never seen someone as open and vulnerable than Bella in that moment. I could see her emotions when she sang as if they were floating around in the air, tangible and visible for the world to enjoy. It was what made her voice so enthralling: everyone could relate to it, feel the emotion she emanated.

But Bella had told me once before that she felt too exposed sharing her emotional side with people she knew, music being her primary outlet for that. Yeah, she had a close relationship with her girlfriends, but I bet she was the type of friend that would listen and cry with her girls over something that had happened to _them,_ but was always the one to mask any heartache _she_ might be feeling.

Music was her way to purge, to express that emotion and feeling without becoming too confrontational with those that either wronged her or she thought highly of. Bella didn't like to seem vulnerable, and that was the crux of the issue, I mused.

With that assumption, I could see why she had automatically become defensive when she was caught unaware that morning. But I didn't think she would be the type to let me in, then shut me out without just cause.

My mind traveled to our brief conversation in the hallway outside the classroom regarding her behavior that very morning. She'd said something about Jacob and him yelling at her about that night. When she'd said his name, my hackles immediately raised. I hated that fucker, and he had no business making her feel bad. She was a grown ass woman, and if she wanted to leave with me, he had no say in it whatsoever.

She also mentioned that he had said something to her that bothered her. Whatever it was seemed to have made her confused and angry, and anything that would make her doubt my feelings for her in anyway was not okay with me. I just wished she would open up to me about it.

Part of me wanted to talk to her about it tonight, but a bigger part of me just wanted to ignore it. I thought that we'd all had enough drama for the time being, and the six of us could use a relaxing evening to get to know each other better. I knew Bella would like Jazz and Emmett. Both of them were two of the coolest guys I knew, and I had no doubt they'd fall for Bella as well.

I was excited about the evening, and hopeful that it was the start of a new bond between us that would carry us through our lives. Shutting off all doubts, I pushed myself up from my bed just as I heard Emmett's phone ring.

Rosalie had decided that we would meet at a restaurant that played live music. She thought the relaxed atmosphere was exactly what the six of us needed, and I couldn't agree more.

Jasper and Emmett drove together, but I took my own car. If the opportunity presented itself, I was planning on making some vague excuse and whisking Bella away back to my place. I wasn't kidding when I told her that earlier, but I also wanted a chance to get to know her friends better. I knew how close she was to them, just like I was to Jazz and Em.

We arrived before any of the girls and were able to snag a table right by the makeshift stage, per Rosalie's instructions. We'd just ordered a round from the bar when the girls arrived. I stood as Bella approached, reaching beside me to pull her chair out for her.

_My mama taught me well..._

I couldn't help but admire her as she approached. She was wearing a navy blue tank top with a deep 'V' cut and the tiniest of straps that I could probably rip apart with my teeth. Her jeans looked like they were painted on, riding low on her hips. A small sliver of her abdomen was left bare, and I silently thanked the gods for the chance to covertly run my thumb along the soft skin there every time I hugged her.

"You look beautiful," I told her as I wrapped my arms around her in greeting, my fingers automatically finding her bare skin in a gentle caress.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she replied, placing a small peck on my neck before pulling away. She blushed as she took in her surroundings, finding that several people around us were watching the exchange in interest.

"It's busy tonight," Bella mused as she looked around the crowded restaurant. "Is there a band playing tonight or something?"

"It's karaoke night, Bella," Rosalie replied with a chuckle. She was laughing because Emmett's jaw was on the floor as he took her in. She was wearing a bright pink tank top that hugged her curves and accented her golden skin and blonde hair. She was also wearing an incredibly short jean mini skirt that made her look like she had legs for days and knowing Emmett as well as I did, I knew that legs happened to be his thing in a woman. The poor guy looked like he was having a coronary, and we all laughed when Rosalie made some vague comment about contacting the AHA about adding heartbreakingly beautiful women as one of the causes for cardiac arrest.

"Karaoke?" Bella whined, looking at Rose like she was her mother telling her it was nap time. "What did you do that for?"

"'Cause we like to torture you, Bella," Alice replied with a knowing smile. She was sitting beside Jasper who had stood to pull out her chair; a true gentleman, like myself. Unlike Emmett who'd remained stalk still in his seat, gawking at Rosalie like she was completely naked in front of him.

"What's wrong with karaoke?" Jasper asked, intrigued. The girls giggled as Bella groaned.

"Bella has a thing about amateur music," Alice answered, shooting Bella a small smile. "She sneaks away some nights to listen to live bands across the city."

Bella shot me a covert glance, silently begging me not give her secret away. I hadn't realized until that moment that her friends didn't know she was singing at the places she visited, and I wondered why that was.

"So why the groaning about karaoke then?" Jasper prodded.

"Because she also hates it when we try and make her sing," Alice replied, taking her napkin from the table and folding it delicately into her lap. "It drives her crazy to hear other people singing horrible renditions of the songs she loves, and with our constant bickering about her singing, she usually gives in."

"Usually?" Rosalie scoffed. "Try one time. She has the resolution of a fucking bull. She hardly ever gives in."

"Which will be the same tonight," Bella proclaimed, looking like she was steadfast in her resolve. "I want to enjoy myself, tonight. I'm not singing."

"We'll see..." Rosalie said in a singing tone, and Bella shot her glare before the subject was dropped altogether.

Dinner was awesome. The food was perfect, just what I needed. It was an open pit BBQ where every type of meat and vegetable was lit to flame. They grilled over hickory bark, so the meat was tender and juicy with just the right amount of smoky aftertaste. Jazz and Em had the beer flowing, and the girls opted to have a couple girlie-tini's. I wasn't sure what they were drinking to be honest, but it was pink and came in a little glass that looked like it could be perfect for a Barbie's pool party. They thought they were cool, so I was happy.

"I'm going to go get another round," Rosalie proclaimed, standing up from her seat and pulling down her tiny skirt so as to not show her beave to the whole place. Emmett was licking his lips, alternating stares from her ass, up to her face as she spoke.

"The waitress will be by soon," Bella told her.

"I know, but I want something special," she replied, winking at Emmett as she sauntered away to the bar.

"Hot damn..." Emmett swore when she was out of ear shot. "She is fucking keen."

Alice and Bella laughed, both nodding their heads in agreement. We sparked up a light conversation as we waited for Rosalie to return, but Bella remained quiet. She was stirring her drink with one of those skinny straws, her face pensive as she sipped intermittently. Finally after a few minutes, she turned to me and spoke.

"Can I ask you something?" Bella asked, her tone timid and shy. Her cheeks were flushed from the drinks but she seemed uncomfortable with what was brewing in her mind, and I didn't like that look on her face when it came to talking to me.

"Sure," I replied with a smile, trying my best to seem less intimidating.

"Do you remember a girl named Rachel Black?"

"Hmm," I said, knowing that the name did register some familiarity. "I don't think so. Why?"

"No reason," Bella mumbled, picking up her drink for a quick sip.

"I want to take you out," I blurted out suddenly, wanting to change the weird subject she'd brought up. She turned to me a smiled brightly. "You know, have our first official date."

"First date?" Bella asked with feigned hurt. "We've had our first date."

"The record store does not count," I chuckled. "I wanna do this right."

"The record store was perfect," she countered. "It was the best date I've ever been on, so don't take that away from me." She started giggling at the end. "God that sounds pathetic, doesn't it? A late night at an old turntable joint was the best freakin' night of my life. How sad..."

"That's not sad," I replied, my tone becoming more serious and gentle. "It was one of my best nights too." Bella smiled timidly, looking up at me from underneath her lashes. Her expression was so innocent, laced with just the right amount of innuendo that I had a sudden need to get her out of there quickly. I was just about to make my move to excuse our sudden departure when the microphone screeched to a deafening volume.

"Up next we have Miss Bella Swan," the announcer said, and I could feel Bella stiffen beside me. I turned to look at her reaction; her eyes were searing in Rosalie's direction as she sauntered back to the table, her impromptu trip to the bar explained.

"Oh come on, Bella," Rose admonished, her tone pleading. "We haven't heard you sing since that time junior year, and we were all too drunk to enjoy it."

"Yeah, drunk being the operative word there," Bella replied through clenched teeth.

"So take a shooter and get up there," Rosalie reasoned as she plopped a couple glasses with vividly blue liquid on the table, putting on a puppy dog expression to entice Bella into submission.

"No," Bella said defiantly, crossing both arms in front of her chest stubborn refusal. I was honestly kind of disappointed that she refused to do it. I was hoping that with the relaxed environment and her friends' presence, she'd grace us with that stunning voice of hers. After all, her melodious croon was what drew me to her to begin with.

"Please, Bella," Alice pleaded, joining Rosalie's ranks. Bella aimed her look of contempt in her direction, but the little Pixie trudged on, throwing her own begging face into the mix. "You've told us that Edward has already heard you sing to Nikki, and the rest of us love you. I love your voice and quite frankly, I'm kinda pissed that the only times I've heard it is when I'm blitzed or the moments I hear you singing in the shower. Don't leave it like that, please?" She put on a saddened look that matched Rosalie's pleading expression, and I could see Bella's resolve start to crack against the onslaught.

She turned toward me for support, but I wanted to hear her. I put on my infamous Cullen pout — the one that Esme claimed made angels sigh — and turned it on her full force. She sighed loudly and looked to Emmett and Jasper, both who looked just as forlorn as the girls. When they tilted their heads together and whimpered like begging puppies, Bella laughed.

"Alright, alright," she conceded, holding her hands up in exasperation. Both girls started clapping enthusiastically as I leaned in to give her a grateful peck on her cheek. Emmett and Jasper beamed as Bella began to stand.

"What song did you write down, Rosalie?" she asked with a bit of a bite to her tone. The sound of it made me take notice, and for the first time, I could see the genuine discomfort in her posture. I didn't understand it; she was truly talented, one of those naturally born performers that usually lived and breathed to please an audience. I knew music meant more to her than that, but we were all having a good time. And not one of us would judge her if she sucked, which I knew she wouldn't.

"Oh, the same one you sang last time," Rosalie answered with a shrug. "I thought I'd like to listen to you sing it while I was sober this time."

"Fine," Bella growled, shaking her head as Rosalie and Alice cheered in excitement. She made her way toward the small stage just as the announcer was giving the last call for her name.

"This is going to be great," Alice squealed as Bella prepared on stage. "I've waited so long for her to finally do this."

"Why doesn't she like to sing in front of you guys?" I asked, wanting to put the mysterious puzzle pieces together to solve my Siren.

"Dunno," Rosalie answered. "She's always given some sort of excuse."

"Okay, sorry for the delay, folks," the announcer said as Bella smiled timidly at the crowd. "Here is Bella Swan."

The room applauded softly in welcome. Bella gripped the mic like a pro and deftly released it from its stand. She cleared her throat softly and I could feel the anticipation mount inside of me as I awaited my Muse, my Siren, my Singer.

A booming rhythm started from the bass speakers, and several people smiled as the recognized they song. It didn't spark anything in my recollection but I watched as Bella froze in her spot, then turned and glared at Rosalie with such a force of hate and malice that I was truly scared for the girl. Undeterred, Rosalie and Alice melted into a pool of giggles, screaming and cheering on their friend.

Bella mouthed '_bitch'_ to both of them, which made them laugh harder, just as the first line of the song started.

_First time, that I saw your eyes_

_Boy you looked right through me, mmmm-mmmm_

_Play it cool_

_But I know you knew_

_That cupid hit me, mmmm-mmmm_

At the break in the song, Rosalie and Alice started screaming at the top of their lungs. Bella gave them a covert birdie by aligning her middle finger along the base of the mic before she rolled her eyes and continued.

Her voice was amazing, just like I knew it would be. But the part that almost had me drooling in my seat was the part in the chorus when she started making these moaning sounds that fit in between the verse lines. That was when she really started getting into it, and I could feel myself tighten as she caressed the mic with each word.

_Can't breathe_

_When you touch my sleeve_

_Butterflies so crazy, mmmm-mmmm_

_Whoa now, think I'm going down_

_Friends don't know what's with me, mmmm-mmmm_

It seemed there was some kind of inside joke with the lyrics because when Bella said the part about her friends in the song, Rosalie and Alice started hollering again. I honestly started feeling embarrassed for Bella because of the spectacle they were making, but when I looked back on stage, I saw Bella smiling a wide, breathtaking smile right at me. I couldn't help grinning back at her, reassuring her with my eyes.

Before I knew it, everyone in the joint was getting into her song. Bella started to eat it up, and the true performer started to shine. She walked around the stage, swaying her little hips to the beat of the music as she sang her heart out. At one point, I really thought she sounded just like Fergie when she sang. Actually, she sounded better, and I was infinitely proud of her.

Perhaps it was just my wishful thinking, but I hoped that with her awesome performance in front of her friends would be like some kind of breakthrough for her. Music was so important to her, and so were her friends; I hoped by mixing the two of them together, Bella could start sharing some of that with the people that meant the most to her.

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**AN: Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton for the beta work. I'm sorry it took so long for an update. I rolled out two stories over the past week. My sequel to my MI fanfic, Sins of the Flesh. **

_**And...**_**a new Twilight story called ****The Betty Chronicles. Please, go check it out! The story is so far out of my comfort zone that I really need the feedback. I'm begging for it... **

**Reviewers get a teaser! Outfits are on the new blog for the story, link on my profile. **


	21. Chapter 20 Anywhere But Here

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

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Chapter 20 - Anywhere, But Here

~ Bella ~

Those fucking bitches...

God, I was so freakin' pissed standing up there thinking a generic karaoke song was coming on only to be shocked when I heard the unmistakable beat of Clumsy; that wasn't the song I'd sung the last time those two hoochies talked me into singing, so of course it was unexpected.

That hood rat Rosalie freakin' lied to me, and I could have just about died when the song started up. And I knew that Alice was as knee deep in that treacherous shit as Rosalie was. She may look cute and innocent with her prepubescent appearance, but she fought down and dirty when it came to ganging up on me with Rose.

I wanted to wipe that ridiculous grin off both of their faces, but I was kind of stuck on stage with no real excuse to vacate my impromptu performance without looking like a mental case. Yeah, it was not so fucking amusing.

I knew what they were doing, too; trying to embarrass me by emphasizing my unhealthy and rash obsession with Edward. The fact that the song basically described my relationship with him to a 'T' did not go unnoticed by me. I was embarrassed and really pissed, but I figured at that point, I had two options: I could either show how much their bullshit bothered me, making our evening uncomfortable and confrontational, or I could have fun with it and have a good time. I chose the latter for my sake and Edward's alone.

And really, I knew that the girls just wanted me to loosen up when it came to Edward, and maybe they felt good music and a shitton of liquor would help with that. They knew that I'd been wound up tighter than a bow string when it came to that man, for several different reasons.

First, that night I had spent with him had left me aching inside. It was like he imprinted himself inside of me, leaving me burning for him at all hours of the day. I couldn't concentrate on anything but my desire for him, and it had created an unhealthy addiction to every aspect of him. I was actually surprised I was able to get through the ACLS class without some kind of Freudian slip; maybe replacing the word compression with orgasm. Could you imagine it? _Now class, the patient will need deep, hard, fast orgasms to get the blood flowing. _

_Nice..._

It was especially hard during the beginning of class, not knowing where the two of us stood. I had been upset about waking up alone that night after the Gala, but my anxiety was abated when I discovered Edward's letter. Then Jake called...

Jake's bullshit and jealousy probably fueled the stuff he told me about his sister. It could be true; I didn't want to think of Jake as a liar, but when I'd brought it up to Edward, his reaction made me think that the whole thing was completely fabricated. It left me questioning Jake's motivation for telling me rather than Edward's history as he intended. In any case, I wanted to talk to Edward about it again before I called Jake out on his shit. Perhaps after we left the restaurant, I mused. But first, I had to get through the evilly planned song designed by my friends to torture me publicly.

_Payback's a bitch, ladies..._

I got through the song, feeling my humiliation melt away as I really got into the music. It wasn't my favorite genre but there were some good riffs in the song that I played with a little bit, adding to the cadence by giving it my own little flare. I doubted anyone noticed the subtle difference — half of the audience was lit up due to the generous variety of alcohol the place supplied at a reasonable price. They seemed to enjoy it though, and that made me smile.

And the fact that Edward was watching me intently with a half-hooded expression didn't harm my confidence either. His eyes following my movements as I swayed my body to the beat, and seeing the lust cloud over his eyes was a total turn-on for me. He made me feel desirable, wanted, and I ate it up like candy.

After the music died down, I stood there looking at my friends, feeling the animosity for my girls ebb slightly — especially since my little ditty seemed to have gotten Eddie boy in the mood. Perhaps by the end of the night, I'd owe them both a thank you basket; that was my hope, anyway.

I knew that neither of them meant to embarrass me in any way; the girls just wanted to have fun, and it was my fault really for hiding the fact that I liked to keep my music private from them. I was sure that if they knew how emotional it was for me, they wouldn't have pressured me so much to sing. And really, what was a little karaoke between friends? It wasn't like I had my dreadnought here with me, baring my soul for an anonymous audience as usual.

And it really wasn't the singing that bothered me so much. I'd gladly sing to them if it meant giving them a hidden glimpse into my psyche, but the songs I performed with my father's image blazing in my mind — those were private and not to be shared, and I didn't see myself changing that fact anytime soon.

"Wow! That was awesome," the announcer said, taking the mic from me as the restaurant cheered at a deafening level. Alice and Rosalie were both on their feet clapping wildly as Emmett let out a loud whistle trumping them all. I couldn't help the blush that crept onto my face seeing my friends' wide smiles and enthusiasm. It was nice to see them show signs of pride for something I'd done. But the biggest grin came from Edward. He was looking at me with a revered expression, showing a softness in his eyes I had never seen before.

"Hey," the announcer said loudly, trying to talk over the ruckus. "You want to sing again?" I started to decline, shaking my head no as I made my way toward the stair ramp. I just wanted to get back to my friends, but the man was persistent. "The crowd really liked that. I think they'd like to hear another one from you. We've got all kinds of music. Take your pick!"

I glanced back over to Edward, thinking of his expression as he watched me sing and dance on the little makeshift stage. Having him watch me with such carnality made my stomach do flips and spins. And for the first time, I wanted to have that feeling again. Yeah, I always got a rush when I'd perform in front of an audience during an open mic session, but this was different. This was more heady and sharp, leaving me breathless and aching. What better foreplay could there be?

The thought of Edward watching me like that again made my heart rush, and I turned and told the man I'd sing one more before I could think twice about it.

"What song do you want?" he asked, heading over to the table where the machine that housed their entire MP3 collection was located

What song did I want?

I gave Edward one more cursory glance, thinking about what I'd like to do with him later, then made my selection.

~ Edward ~

"She's awesome," Jasper said, leaning over to me as he clapped his hands in appreciation. "Why doesn't she go for some kind of singing deal?"

"Not sure," I said vaguely, not really wanting to divulge any more information to him, knowing Bella was touchy about the subject. And it was in that moment that I realized that I may have already screwed that issue up. "Hey, don't say anything about Bella singing Open Mic," I told him hurriedly, trying to keep my voice down from the others. I had told Jasper about Bella's voice, and I was thankful he hadn't spilled the beans when the girls were talking about it earlier.

"I noticed that," he said with a nod of his head. "Don't worry. It's not my business to tell." I patted him on the back in gratitude.

"Okay, Bella has agreed to do one more," the announcer said, and I looked up to see Bella leaning over to the Disc Jockey, talking hurriedly about something she was apparently very adamant about. She was gesturing toward the speakers, and I guesstimated she was trying to get him to change the acoustic settings on the sound lines because she'd mentioned something about their pitch being off earlier.

The crowd applauded at the aspect of an encore, and at that moment, I had a strange sense of pride. Almost like one of those ecstatic fathers who made it a point to claim his son proudly when they make the winning touchdown. I wanted to shout it to the roof that it was my girlfriend on the stage, maybe adding that I was taking her home as soon as she was done and getting her naked. Especially when I saw a group of frat boys eying her appreciatively, putting their heads together to scheme on how to pick her up, no doubt.

_Fuckers... She's mine!_

The crowd quieted down as Bella took center stage once more. The music started off in a gradual crescendo, building into a soft melody that Bella began gently swaying to before she started to sing.

Dear my love

Haven't you wanted to be with me, and

Dear my love

Haven't you wanted to be free?

The pitch of her voice was perfect for the song, making it a sultry croon with a dark edge. She was a vision as she sang; closing her eyes tightly as she hit the high notes, and when she did make eye contact with the audience, it seemed that she was talking to them as she sang the words.

At least that was the feeling I got from the atmosphere, until she looked at me...

Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight

There's no need to tell anyone

They'd only hold us down

So by the morning's light

We'll be half way to anywhere

Where love is more than just your name...

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. My surroundings melted away and it was just me and her, alone in a room with only her voice and the subtle accompaniment of the music between us. In that moment, I didn't need anything in the world — not air to breath, water to drink — just her. My Muse, my Siren, my Singer.

Her voice was like something from Heaven, perfectly pitched and evenly distributed. When she hit the high notes, it was so ethereal that it made me breathless. It was like those notes became a physical, tangible entity that hit me square in the heart, stimulating my organ and igniting my blood into a raging inferno.

I wanted her in that moment. Wanted her alone, where I could make other, more private sounds pour from her mouth as I showed her exactly what her singing did to me. I didn't care that we were with our friends or had any obligation to stick around any longer. I didn't care that I had to be at the station tomorrow, working a double for the next forty-eight hours straight. I wanted to spend the entire night inside of her, worshiping her body and giving her insurmountable pleasure, sparking my own in return.

When the song ended there was a slight pause of silence, almost as if everyone was just as enthralled as I had been. Then the applause erupted in earnest. I watched as Bella accepted the praise gracefully, blushing as a standing ovation rose throughout the restaurant, started at our table and inspired by Bella's incredible talent.

I was captivated as I watched her, the sound of her voice reverberating through my mind hauntingly. I didn't recognize that Jasper was talking to me, trying to get my attention until he nudged my shoulder.

"Dude, she sounds just like her," Jasper said, slightly smirking at my expression. I probably looked a little stoned, maybe like I'd been hitting the hookah on a regular basis. But I was just stuck in a Bella-induced haze of lust and passion. I blinked a couple times, trying to clear my head before I answered.

"Like who?" I said numbly.

"Like Amy Lee," Jasper answered, pointing toward the stage where Bella has just performed.

"Fuck that," Rosalie retorted after she'd let out a loud whistle for Bella. "My girl's better than that."

The others began bantering back and forth as the applause died down and everyone returned to their seats, discussing Bella's talent and who her voice resembled. I just continued to watch Bella as she made her way back to our table, thinking of every which way I wanted to peel her clothes off and take her hard and fast.

It took a while for her to come toward us because she was being stopped by several people on the way. When a man approached her and handed her a drink, trying to stop her retreat and ignoring her polite rejection by standing in front of her path, something inside me snapped. I stood abruptly from the table and made my way over to her in a hurry, ignoring the inquiries from Emmett and Jasper.

"Thanks, Steve, but I'm here with someone this evening," she was telling the man as I approached, her tone polite but firm. I stayed back a bit, wanting to give Bella the opportunity to take care of the creep herself without my interference. Some girls liked being rescued, but Bella seemed like the type of girl who could take care of herself and would appreciate the fact that I didn't go in guns blazing.

"Ditch him," Steve replied, standing closer to her than was healthy for him, for I felt my right hand pull into a fist at the sight of it. "Come on, baby. I think we'd be great together. Besides, I can make you feel better than that douche can. Let me prove it to you."

He started to reach toward her, his hands dangerously close to her ass. Bella raised a hand and placed it on his chest, stopping his encroachment on her personal space. It seemed Steve didn't take it that way, though.

"See?" he asked in a seductive tone, placing his larger hand over hers on his chest as if she'd meant the gesture as affectionate. "Don't you feel that spark? Come on, sweetheart; let me take you home —"

"No," Bella said forcefully, pushing on his chest as he tried to wrap his arms around her. I'd had enough...

"I think she told you to back off," I growled from behind him. Steve spun around abruptly, and it was then when I recognized him as one of the Frat boys who were eying her previously. I could see the others in the background, watching it all play out from their table.

"What's it to you?" Steve said, taking a step closer to me as if he could deter me in anyway. I could see Bella tense at his actions, and I took a deep breath through my clenched teeth.

"That's my girlfriend, brother," I said in a calm but firm tone. I could feel my muscles tensing into tight cords as I held off my automatic response to his demeanor; I wanted to make his arrogant face into hamburger meat.

"The world girlfriend doesn't me jack shit, _brother_," he replied, sneering the last with a cocky smirk. "She's fine as fuck and I'm taking her home."

His words enraged me and I could feel myself control waning with every word he spoke.

"Knock it off," Bella growled, stepping around the shit dick and standing next to me. I felt her warm hand caress my forearm in a comforting gesture, probably trying to calm me down, no doubt. I didn't want to start a fight in the middle of a bar like some stupid asswipe. And I sure as fuck didn't want Bella to see me lose my shit with the fuck face. So I took a deep breath, focusing on her warm touch before I spoke again.

"Listen, fucker, she isn't going anywhere with you, got it? Stay the fuck away from her. Don't talk to her, don't even fucking look at her."

"What, are you her dad?" the fucktard said with a slight scoff, but I could see that my anger towards him was starting to make him retreat slightly. It wasn't enough for me.

"What are you twelve or something?" I snorted in return. "Really? Get a fucking clue, dude. Even if she wasn't with me, she has too much class to go out with the likes of you."

"Come on, Edward," Bella said in a soft tone, pulling slightly on my arm as she tried to help me walk away. "Let's not let him ruin our evening."

I reluctantly took a step back, staring at Steve with the hatred and rage of a thousand suns. I was actually quite amazed that I didn't go all Kung Fu on his ass; I guessed the need to please Bella and keep her safe trumped it all.

She placed her small arm around my waist as I turned around toward our table, fitting herself tightly under my arm as she laid her head on my chest. I kissed the top of her head, taking a moment to breathe her in as her essence calmed the rage further.

"Everything okay?" Emmett asked as we approached, questioning me silently if the confrontation with Steve was something the three of us needed to continue outside.

"Yeah," Bella sighed, taking her seat next to me, never moving her hand off of my skin as we situated ourselves at the table. "Just some Neanderthal who thought I'd find rudeness appealing."

"You need us to lay the smack down, Bella?" Emmett asked as Rosalie glared daggers in the direction of the ass muncher.

"No," Bella replied with a tense chuckle. "Edward took care of it." For the next couple of minutes, the girls were trying to get Bella to talk about what had happened, but Bella brushed it off, probably correctly assuming rehashing it would piss me off again.

The conversation quickly turned to Bella's performance, the problem with the shit dick forgotten. Alice and Rosalie gushed over Bella, telling her that they'd never heard her sing so beautifully while trying to encourage her to go another row.

I was relatively silent through the rest of the evening, my insides still fuming at the shit that fucker said to Bella. I wondered where the hell he'd learned to talk to women, and I was infuriated that Bella had to put up with that. His degrading assumption that Bella would be the type of woman to leave her date with a man she'd never met was astounding to me. Well, I knew that she'd technically done exactly that the night of the Gala, but that was different. It wasn't like that was our intention when we'd left that night. We just needed some air and things kind of...progressed. Plus, our connection was something that couldn't be ignored. This asshat was nothing but a fucking arrogant prick. Did he really think a woman such as her would find that kind of crass offer attractive?

Mostly, I was freaking chomping at the bit to get her out of there and show her how a woman should be treated. I wanted her to _know, _deep down in her soul, that I was a man who knew how to take care of a creature such as her: a delicate but powerful woman who deserved nothing but sensual words and gentle caresses.

Bella hadn't stopped touching me since we'd sat down. She had her hand on me constantly, moving from holding my hand, caressing my forearm, or rubbing my leg under the table. I could feel her hand on my knee as it bounced in agitation, not because of the confrontation — I'd moved beyond that by then. No, I was anxious to leave, trying to formulate some kind of excuse for our departure as soon as possible. But Bella's soft caresses on my knee, my hand, and along my wrist, were driving me crazy. And it seemed I wasn't the only one affected.

"Guys, I think we're going to call it a night," Bella said suddenly, standing from her chair and pulling her rather large purse over her shoulder. I felt her hand close tightly on mine in a silent sign to play along. "Edward's got a long day tomorrow and my buzz is going away," she added with a yawn.

"Sure, Bella," Alice giggled, giving Bella a knowing wink as she tucked herself closer to Jasper's side.

"Really, Bella," Rosalie admonished after she sipped her fresh martini. "You don't need to make excuses to go fuck your man. Just be safe, okay?"

Alice and Rosalie rolled with laughter as Bella shot them both the finger. I waved a quick goodbye to our friends as Bella pulled me toward the door, muttering something about getting even with the hoochies under her breath. Once inside my car, Bella started looking through her huge bag.

"What are you doing?" I asked, clicking my seatbelt into place and starting the engine with a soft rumble.

"Just making sure I have everything," she said, placing her bag onto the floor board as I pulled out of the lot.

"Everything?"

"Yeah," she said. "I wanted to make sure I didn't leave my toothbrush at home." I glanced at her purse quickly, trying to take in its size and estimating how much room she'd need to make it an overnight bag.

"Your toothbrush?" I asked. She nodded her head. "What else do you have in there?"

"Just the essentials," she replied. "A hair brush, a few toiletries, a change of panties and some shorts for tomorrow. I figured I could wear my shirt home. And I could either borrow one of your shirts to sleep in or just do what I planned on doing — keeping you naked next to me all night long."

_Well, hot damn..._

I don't remember much of the drive after that, only highlights. Like the way Bella hummed softly to the song on the radio, or how her skin looked as the moonlight graced her bare shoulder. I never thought I'd be envious of moon, for god's sake.

Arriving home, I do vaguely remember slamming the car into park before I lunged across the seat, forcing my hungry mouth onto her before she could finish asking me what was wrong. She laughed a little between my fevered kisses, her hands fumbling beneath me to find the release button for her safety belt.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" I asked as my lips traveled down her neck, finding her collar bone. "How you make me so fucking hard with everything that you do?"

"Mmmm," Bella moaned as I licked the thread in her neck that timed her beating heart, finding the skin there supple as I lightly grazed my teeth across her skin.

"I've been waiting all day to hear that sound," I whispered against her skin, my lips meeting the rounded mounds of her aching breasts, hating the fact that they were still covered and hidden from me.

"Edward," she said breathlessly as my hands cupped her breast, my mouth teasing her nipple through her cotton shirt. "Let's go...ahhh...um, inside. Inside, now. Please..."

I was out of the car in a flash, leaving Bella aching and panting on the passenger seat. Before she realized what I had done, I was at her door, pulling it open and reaching for her like a raging beast. She flew into my arms, her hands automatically seeking the back of my neck and threading through my hair as she fastened her mouth on mine. I felt her legs wrap around my waist tightly as I carried her toward the house door, cupping her lush bottom in my hands.

My mouth was everywhere on her as if I was starved and the only relief was the taste of her skin. She threw her head back as I lavished her throat, trying to pull her body closer to mine though it never seemed near enough.

I made my way toward the stairs blindly, occasionally bumping into the walls and furniture as I went. At one point, there might have been a slight casualty of war, for I heard a crash and the sound of glass breaking. Neither of us looked up or even paused from our heady actions, the intensity of it just adding fuel to our burning fire for each other.

I honestly tried to make it up the stairs, I really did. But once Bella's hand dove into my jeans and grasped my raging cock, wrapping her finger tightly around me and began playing me into a near pleasure-induced seizure, I figured the stairs were as good a place as any.

Before Bella's ass hit the stair, she had my pants unzipped and around my ankles. My hands immediately reached for her zipper, neither of us taking our lips off the other while we fumbled and fought with our unwanted clothing.

"Argh," Bella screamed in frustration when she couldn't pull my shirt over my head, the proximity of our bodies not allowing any room for even the fabric to be dispelled. I broke away from her long enough to rip the shirt off my body, then reached down and finished taking off Bella's jeans and panties in one fell swoop.

I could see her glistening sex before me as I began to dive back toward her, and it took every inch of my will power not to pause and taste her like I had before. She was an addiction in every sense: touch, taste, sight, and sound.

Bella must have seen the gleam of desire in my eye, for she pulled me down onto her with a whispered, "I need you inside of me."

With a guttural moan, I plunged myself deep inside her slick heat, setting a fast rhythm that had us both panting and seeking that desperate release. Environment forgotten, preliminaries bypassed, we both sought each other for what we were frantic for: utter and complete oblivion.

"Oh god," Bella panted, her mouth so close to mine I could feel the exhale of her swear on the tip of my tongue. I felt her pushing her hips up to mine, meeting me thrust for thrust, angling her hips so I could achieve the deepest penetration possible. When I was at the angle where my tip caressed her spot with each movement inside of her, I could feel her muscles start to clamp down around me.

"Awe yeah, Bella. Come for me."

"Edward," she whisper-cried, her mouth held open wide as her body froze in a siege of wild pleasure. She had never looked more beautiful in that moment, even when I had watched her climax from between her legs or when she'd performed on stage. Bella climaxing below me, her body rigid and milking me with her pleasure was the most erotic and sensual thing I'd ever witness.

My orgasm came quickly after, and was the most intense I'd ever experienced. I felt myself lose control inside of her, filling her completely as the waves of pleasure rolled throughout my body.

It took a moment for my senses to return to me, and I looked down to see Bella looking at me with a soft expression. Her tiny fingers reached to wipe away a lock of hair that was stuck to my forehead by the sweat pooling on my brow.

"Edward..." she said, her voice trailing off in the end.

"I know, baby," I replied, feeling the overwhelming intensity just as acutely as she had. "I know..."

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**AN: Thanks to Hibbleton78 (who just hit the big 1,000 on Sway. YAY!) and Neliz (whose story can now be found on Twilighted as well) for working on this story with me. You girls make me smile. And to all of those girls who gave me suggestions on which Evanescence song to use, thanks for your input. I had to go with Anywhere cause it is just really sexy...and awesome foreplay it seems. ;)**

**Let me know what you all think. And for those of you who like some kind of reference for your reading pleasure, I imagine Bella's voice to be a lot like Amy Lee's from Evanescence. It is soulful with a slightly dark edge to it, making it hauntingly beautiful, as Edward said. **

**Reviewers get your teaser!**** And head over and check out my new fic, The Betty Chronicles. **


	22. Chapter 21 That Moment

_The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide._

**First and foremost, to those of you about to read this - to those who haven't completely bailed on me & this story for lack of updates, THANK YOU!**

**I know it has been a while, and I promise it won't be like that again. No excuses cause I've been writing my other stories, but this one is a big one and I wanted to make it perfect for you all. **

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 21 - That Moment

~ Bella ~

How could I define the moment when the undeniable truth was I had fallen in love with him?

Did it happen with a certain look — an expression that ignited my passion for him, transforming it into the whirling spins of a fanatical love? Or perhaps it was sparked by his touch — the one that sent me flying over the moon?

Did it happened with a sudden realization or did it build over time? Was it that faint buzzing in my mind, when all my concentration was focused on him and everything else just seemed to pale in comparison? Or was love just as simple as breathing — it just...happened?

I could have said that I had fallen in love with him the first moment I saw him. That strange pull was evident from the beginning. And there was definite attraction, I couldn't deny that; even Jessica had recognized it that day outside the elevators when I went to see Nikki in her pediatric room. And if I was being honest with myself and listened to my friends' constant reminders, my attraction to him was bordering on obsession. But was it love?

Looking back, I was pretty sure it had been all along.

But how could I decipher whether it was just infatuation with an amazing man, or actual all-consuming, tear-your-heart-out, hot lava and melting passion love? The type that was written about in romance novels and semi-porn fan fiction didn't really exist, did it?

The sex was... ah, there were no words. The way he made me feel with his body was more than any poet could capture with words, for they'd burn the paper with their intensity. I was left a heaping mess of gelatin when he was done with me. And the sad, most desperate and pathetic part was my recovery time was a hot second or two; I was raring to go for another round once I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me with that half-cocked smile and bedroom eyes.

And we'd end up at each other again, tearing and biting to get to one another's most sensitive spots, seeking that release like it was our lives' blood — a heat that only the other could squelch. I needed to feel him inside me, hitting the deepest part of me like he was seeking my soul hidden deep within. I was his cavern and he was my explorer. I wanted to share every part of me with him; I was almost desperate for it. But did that define love?

If not, what did?

And it wasn't just that I wanted him to know me physically, either. I found myself on many occasions wanting to share that most intimate part of me that was buried deep within where no one else had been. I wanted to share with him the only thing that I'd kept to myself all these many years, not allowing a hint of it out to the public: my own, very personal and poetic music.

Not the stuff I'd sing at Big Ed's. Those were renditions of other people's works. I was talking about my own heartfelt lyrics and tunes that spoke so much about what I had inside me that I was terrified to let anyone else see it. But with Edward, I knew instinctively that he'd never judge or disgrace me if I let him in that deep. There was only one thing stopping me from inviting him in: Rachel.

"I want to take you out," he murmured against my shoulder from behind me. His body was pressed tightly against mine, his arms woven around my waist as his mouth played an intricate pattern on my bare skin.

"Mmmm, okay," I replied sleepily. I had no clue what time it was. We'd arrived at his home in blur of movement and desperation, not giving each other one moment to think. We did eventually make it to his bedroom where we had continued to explore each other until the late hours of the night — or early morning, whichever.

"I want to do this right," he said again, resting his chin on my shoulder as he spoke with an adorably resolved tone. "I'm a horrible boyfriend. I haven't even taken you out on a proper first date."

The term 'boyfriend' from him made me giddy inside. I couldn't help the wide smile that immediately plastered itself onto my face at his choice of words. It was only through a gleeful haze that I started to piece together what he'd said.

"What?" I asked, turning so I could look at his face. Edward sat himself up slightly so I could roll over, positioning myself on my back as my hands automatically began to play with his hair in a comforting gesture. "We've had a first date."

Edward scrunched his forehead in consternation, "A night at a crummy record store does not count, Bella. You deserve so much more than that."

"That was a perfect first date," I argued lightly, rubbing his stubble chin with a soft giggle. "You can't take that away from me. I don't think anyone could have planned a more perfect. Trust me; I'll treasure that night always."

"Yeah, the night a man took advantage of your emotional vulnerability," Edward murmured, not meeting my eyes. His tone was forlorn and it made me take notice.

"Hey, Edward," I said seriously, not speaking again until he looked at me. He finally peeked through his lashes but not really meeting my eyes for very long before looking quickly back toward the covers that lay across my bare chest.

"Edward, please look at me," I asked in a hushed tone. I coaxed him to comply by gently caressing his cheek, putting all my love and understanding in that one simple gesture. He let out a heavy sigh before he picked his head up and met my gaze. In his eyes, I could read his hesitancy and self-deprecation. He really thought he'd done wrong by making love to me the night of the Gala. I took in a shaky breath before I began.

"I can't even begin to explain to you what that night meant to me," I started, my voice becoming emotionally laced by the end. Edward grabbed my hand that was resting on his cheek and squeezed it lightly, rubbing the back of it in calm, soothing circles.

"You have to know that you did not make me do anything that night. I wanted to be with you, and I can't look back on that time in a negative way. It was so perfect, Edward."

He sighed and looked away from me, gazing into the darkened room with a contemplative look on his face.

"I feel like I need to be honest with you, Bella," Edward said solemnly, his eyes fixed away from me. I couldn't read the expression on his face, and my heart started to have palpitations at the thought of something being wrong.

"Okay," I said hesitantly, and my nervousness must have appeared in my voice because Edward's gaze flashed to mine, his eyes searching.

"No, baby," Edward said soothingly. "It's nothing about us...it's just...well, you may not like what I have to say."

I sat up then, situating myself so that I was leaning against his wooden headboard. The sense of doom loomed around me, and a thousand things started flittering through my mind. I pulled up the sheets to cover myself, feeling incredibly vulnerable in that moment. I tried not to let it show on my face, wanting to be that good girlfriend who listened to what my man had to say without automatically getting defensive. It was just really hard when we'd been talking about sex, then all of a sudden he needed to address an issue. That little scenario didn't offer me any sort of comfort.

"Okay, shoot," I said, trying to instill a slight amount of confidence into my tone.

"Well, I haven't always been that great of a guy," Edward started, situating himself beside me and taking my hand as he continued to talk. "When I came here to start college, I was sort of thrown into the fray without any prep from my parents."

"What did you expect them to tell you?" I giggled a little, thinking it ridiculous to think Dr. Carlisle Cullen did not explain the rules of attraction to his only son.

"I only vaguely knew about my inheritance, Bella. And I'm not just talking about my trust fund. A lot comes with the Cullen name, especially in this town."

"Oh," I said, understanding his implication.

"I started off as a freshman with girls flocking to my door," he replied honestly, and even though it was hard to hear about this part of his past, I wanted to listen. "I dated back in Forks, but that was so different than what it was like that first year. These women were more...assertive, I guess you could say. And they were willing to give up anything to be with me. I guess I took advantage of that."

I couldn't really fault him for being so reckless in that situation. I mean, what guy wouldn't take advantage of countless women throwing themselves at him? So far, Edward hadn't said anything that would completely turn me off of wanting to be with him. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, specifically a bright pink stiletto named Rachel.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've done some things that I'm not proud of," Edward said, his voice low and filled with guilt. "I honestly don't know how many women I've been with. I wasn't a whore or anything, but I wasn't very picky either. To tell you the truth, for several years there, all of them just seemed to melt together. It quickly became meaningless to me, and I was bored pretty easily. I know that's probably not what you want to hear from me, but I think you deserve the truth."

I sat there for a couple minutes mulling over what he had said to me. If I was honest with myself, I was a little disappointed. Not that Edward had other people before me — I almost expected it, truthfully. But some part of me was upset that he didn't even care enough to get to know the women he was with, which automatically got my guard up when I remembered Jake's sister.

Rachel was a sweet girl, and much like me, seemed to be introverted, a dreamer. She hardly seemed the type to have some fling with a man, much like myself. And I could never see her as one of these money-hungry floozies who only wanted him for that name, like Edward described. So if she was one of the nameless faces that Edward had shared his bed with, how did she misconstrue their relationship so grossly? Was she too simple for him and easy to dismiss? And if that was the case, what did that mean when it came to me?

"Why do you do that?" Edward asked brusquely, running his fingers through his hair as he looked at my tense posture. I didn't think I had worn my inner monologue on my sleeve, but apparently my feelings were as apparent as his distaste was now.

"What?" I asked, my tone defensive.

"You...get all...you shut down all of a sudden," Edward replied, gesturing toward me with a frustrated look on his face.

"Well, I'm sorry," I retorted gruffly. "It's a little hard for me to swallow."

"What is?" he asked, having the nerve to sound affronted. "The fact that I've been with other women?"

"No, the fact that you so easily dismiss the women you have been with. How do you know that it was just a...thing for them? What if they wanted more from you?"

"None of them did," he said in an off-hand tone, shooing my question away like an annoying pest.

"You don't know that," I stated hotly. "One of them could have really fallen for you —"

"That's not possible," Edward replied matter-of-factly.

"And why's that?"

"Because I wasn't myself, Bella. I was an arrogant, chauvinistic, pain in the ass. I was very forthcoming about what I was about and what those women meant to me. The first time a girl I was seeing caught me with someone else she didn't even bat an eye."

"The first time..." I said, stunned, but was cut off as he continued his rambling.

"She even got into watching us go at it, and eventually joined in." I thought I was going to be sick. "I saw both women for a while and only left them when I found something better. That was what my life was, Bella. Finding the better until something even more exciting came along."

My mouth was hanging open as I listened to his confession. He was pouring his past deeds out to me like the filthy slim that it was. It wasn't making sense to me. How could I reconcile that nasty, shameful person with the one who stood before me now? He was an admirable man, a public servant and hero. He was the man I'd shared my bed and my heart with.

Some people lived that kind of lifestyle and I had no issues with that as long as it didn't affect me; I was _not_ that type of person. I wasn't okay with sheet hopping men who were only out for their own. If I wanted sex, believe me, I could have it. But that's not what Edward was to me. And how did I know that I wasn't some easy thing for him now, knowing everything I did about his past? What was my guarantee that he wouldn't walk out once he'd found something better?

"This is about the girl that you asked me about, isn't it?" he asked in a low, ominous tone. I hadn't said anything for...five minutes? Thirty? I didn't know. I had so many issues clouding my judgment that I didn't know if it was safe to even respond to that question.

"Yes...no...I'm afraid it's about a lot of things, actually," I replied, a little flustered. I didn't even know where to begin. Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming grief overcome me because this relationship — as new and as fresh as it was — seemed to have more drama than I was really willing to put up with.

"Who is she?" he asked, his voice a flat monotone.

"Does it matter?" I chuckled humorlessly.

"Don't do that," Edward growled, standing up from the bed so abruptly that it jarred the mattress, making me feel a little off balance. "Don't throw what I said back in my face. Do you know how hard it was to tell you that? I wanted to be honest with you, Bella, because I care a lot about you."

"How can I trust that?" I asked, tears pricking my eyes. Edward didn't answer. "You can't even tell me who she is to you," I said, my voice low and meek. "Rachel Black...that name means nothing to you?"

"Black?" Edward spat, his eyes meeting mine in a fierce snarl. "Does Jake have anything to do with this?"

"Don't avoid the question," I said, crossing my arms across my chest defiantly.

"If that piece of shit has anything to do with that look on your face —"

"What look?" I interrupted.

"The one I never wanted to see from you," he replied exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air in a wild gesture. "The one I was dreading the moment I told myself I'd be honest about my past with you. The one I told myself that I'd never see because you'd be more understanding than that. That you wouldn't judge me because you felt the same way about me that I do about you."

My heart hammered at his words, sensing the hesitancy to continue his thought but hoping that he did. "And what way is that?"

"Does it matter?" He threw my words back in my face with contempt, and I felt my heart breaking at his implication.

"Yes," I replied, my bottom lip trembling. "If it is the truth, Edward. It does matter to me, a great deal."

"The only Rachel I knew was a girl I was seeing right before Tanya," Edward replied, changing the subject so suddenly it made my head spin. "She was in one of my history classes or something, I'm not sure. I don't even think she told me her last name and I called her 'Wildcat' as a nickname, most likely so I wouldn't accidentally call her some other girl's name; it was a trick I'd learned early on. We went out a couple times and she was really nice. I don't think we had much chemistry, but I wasn't that invested. I was going through a lot of bullshit with my family and I can honestly tell you that a relationship with her was not my priority."

"She seems to think otherwise," I said softly.

"Is that what Black told you?" he asked scornfully. I nodded in reply. "And you can trust his word, take it and use it to condemn me?"

"You have to understand, Edward, I'm not that kind of girl who gives herself out freely," I said firmly, hoping that my emotions wouldn't get the better of me because I knew that this conversation would either break us completely or perhaps opens lines of communication that wholly needed to be addressed.

"That night was a first for me." He opened his mouth to speak, probably to chastise himself for his actions once again, but I stopped him and kept going. "But it was also one of the most memorable moments of my life. The way you made me feel...I could never doubt that what we shared was not real and meaningful, not for one second."

His features softened slightly as he came to sit on the edge of the bed. He still gave me my space, but he was closer to me now, and I took it as a good sign that maybe things were not as hopeless as they'd seemed only moments prior.

"But Edward, I have to know that it wasn't just me or just for that night. I can't sit here and doubt how you feel about me based on what Jake said." I could tell that he wanted to object, but I trudged on, needing to finish my thought before he could argue against it.

"I can understand that your outlook on that relationship was different, but you have to realize that to her — the girl who was the other part of that relationship — she doesn't feel the same way about it. She liked you a lot, maybe even loved you. And I can't be that girl that knows she's in love only for it to blow up in my face. I can't be the only one to fall, I can't. I've done naiveté and I've been through embarrassment. I won't do that again. I have to know that what you tell me is real, that what you feel for me is genuine because I couldn't take it if it wasn't. And if your feelings are only as half as strong as I what I feel for you — if they are even a tenth of it, then I—" I didn't finish. His lips were pressed up against mine before I could finish my declaration, relentlessly seeking out that glorious meeting between plush skin and supple flesh that gave me that heartwarming feeling of home.

Only a few other things could bring that comforting warmth to me: fresh baked bread cooling on top of an oven, the smell of a new fallen rain, and Edward's lips on my skin.

I knew his words would never be able to communicate his heart to me without there always being that hidden doubt in my mind, at least for now. Rachel's heartbreak sat so raw in my gut because I could imagine myself in that situation vividly. That desperate need to fulfill an unrequited love was a theme I'd seen often in my life.

Words were cheap, as my mother relentlessly told my father after all those years he'd neglected their relationship. He'd loved her, I knew that, and deep down in her heart, I think she knew that too. But it was in his actions where he fell short. Actions were a physical manifestation of someone's devotion. My father could spout off countless times how much he loved my mother, but when it was from his permanent place on the couch while the bulk of his attention was focused on the television screen instead of her, those words fell short and dead on the floor right where they were spoken.

I didn't want to be that person who'd drudge up her parents' issues into her relationship, but how could I not? Especially with the knowledge that Edward had a history of using women; I knew it was a harsh thing to think, but it was the honest truth. Was he that man now? If I truly looked at his actions in his life currently, my answer was an emphatic no. But was my heart ready to take him on his word alone? I wasn't sure.

It was only when his hands began a slow tread along my shoulders, neck, and chest that I shut my mind off and just...felt. I let my heart do the thinking for once, only taking in the way he touched me as our secret line of communication. My body was his Braille as his hands drifted over me, feeling the countless goose bumps as his touch prickled my skin. That reaction spoke to him, telling him where my hidden erogenous pleasure points were and how to make them sing.

He laid me down on the bed, the sheets that had become my security blanket during our heated conversation forgotten as my body became exposed in front of him. He didn't pull away and gawk at me, giving me some cheesy line about how good he thought I looked spread before him. No, he just felt me too, allowing our bodies to touch and mingle and play together like long lost friends — or maybe closer to soulmates.

Again, _showing_ his passion for me, not just simple words.

His lips left my mouth and traveled, exploring my body in the most glorious of ways. And I finally understood that line in Romeo and Juliet when her fated lover told his Capulet princess that lips were meant to pray as hands do, for that was what I felt like he was doing. This was not just about sex or lust or passion. It was almost like a religious experience — him worshiping me, showing me with every action, every conscious thought that what he felt for me was just as strong and true as my feelings for him. His holy palmer's kiss was meant for only me, written for me by his emotions, his thoughts, and transcribed onto my body in such a way only I could understand it.

That was the first moment I think I knew with absolute certainty that I was in love with him. In that instant of stark clarity, I felt my world change its axis so much so that I was dizzy. Or maybe that was because Edward's sure touch on my inner thigh made me forget to breathe. His fingertips were both frigidly cold and burning hot at the same time as they found their way into my slick heat. He worked me expertly, taking me to the precipice immediately. And when I was well over, in the midst of my euphoric high, he didn't relent. Again and again he brought me pleasure, leaving me aching and needing like a starving woman. I found myself pleading with him, begging for him to end my torment and finally enter me, making me feel finally complete.

It was then that he began to open that glorious mouth of his, telling me with heated words exactly what my moans of pleasure did to him. His mouth was by my ear, his cheek resting against mine as he brought me to release again, telling me how it felt for my walls to clamp down on his long fingers. The way he described the inner workings of my body as they responded to him only fueled me further. His words were so intimate, so descriptive that I almost felt a hint on embarrassment...almost.

"Bella," he said, taking his hands from me and bringing them up to my chest. He bent his head and pressed his lips to mine, filling my mouth with his taste as his fingers pulled and played with my peaked nipples, using my lubrication as a slickened catalyst for more sharp bouts of pleasure. Before I could really think about what he was doing, I felt the head of his erection positioned at the threshold of my heat. It was almost like he waited there, holding out until he was properly invited in like the good gentleman he was.

An _action_ that told me this was still up to me. I was in control of the situation, and that despite of the intense moment, he wouldn't take advantage of my vulnerability in any way, always waiting for me to meet him halfway.

Instinctively I welcomed him home, spreading my legs and thrusting my hips forward until he was deliciously sheathed inside me.

"Nuh..." I moaned on a whispered breath, a little exclamation that did the screaming inside my mind little justice. That dying thirst for him from before returned tenfold, making me into a woman that I didn't recognize, but at the same time strived to be. I was a woman in love with a man, showing him exactly how I felt with my body.

I wanted to consume him, not only making our bodies as one but our very souls. Making love was no longer good enough for me. I need a joining, a communion...a sacrament. The most sacred of deeds and acts could not compare to our congregation. It was a mixing of all five senses, perhaps even our minds became one.

Edward whispered words of devotion mixed between his groans and sighs of pleasure as he pushed himself deeper into me. And they meant more to me because he mirrored them with the things he did to my body. His pace was not hurried nor fevered. It was more like each thrust meant something completely different. Each time he entered me, he was telling me something different.

That he knew what I liked — cared enough about my needs that he paid attention to the little signals I'd given him with my body.

That he knew what being like this with him — joined so fully and completely — meant to me, because he felt the same.

That this was not just some random fling that he'd get tired or bored of because he was just as desperate for me. That he craved me too at an almost painful level.

I had to tell him. In that moment, I didn't care if he felt the same as I did because I could no longer keep my feelings for him within me. I could feel it crawling under the surface of my skin, slowly migrating to my chest, causing an aching burn inside of me until I proclaimed my love for him loudly and sharply. I couldn't contain it, and I didn't want to.

"I love you, Edward," I told him as he pushed himself deeper, sheathing himself completely within me. He hit a depth I never thought anyone could achieve, reaching for my soul.

"Oh God, I love you too, baby," he told me, kissing away the small tears that had spilled from my eyes at my confession. My bottom lip trembled as he pulled back to look at me, his eyes searching mine.

Windows to his soul...

I'd heard that expression before and I realized that it could not be more true in that moment. I felt him — Edward — in so many ways. His body in mine, his soul intermingled with mine, his heart pounding in sync with mine, his breath on my face, his voice in my mind...

That night was the first moment I think I truly lived. That night was the night my forever began.

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**AN: Thanks to all of you who are pimping out this story. Huge hits lately, so let me know if you got this story rec'd by someone;)**

**To Hibbleton78 and Neliz - Thank you so much for sticking with me through the drought. More to come soon, that's a promise. **

**Again, teasers to those who leave me a review!**


	23. Chapter 22 Earth Angel

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. And thanks to Candycanesfly for prereading this one. Hibbs just finished her first fic called Sway. Head over and read it if you are living in a dark tunnel and haven't done so yet. ;)**

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_This is a short rant, and I'm sorry for anyone who is going to be like – 'wtf, Em', but it needs to be said. I know a lot of you reading do not write fanfic, and some of you do. To those of you who are only readers, I want to say that I adore you all. You are the reason why I write the stories that I do. Your comments mean the world to me because they are raw, and honest, and constructive. _

_Recently, a fellow writer of mine was publicly mocked on an open forum. The person that did it was NOT a writer, but felt that she was justified to do so because she felt that as a writer, we should have 'thick skin'. I must say that I was appalled at her behavior. It takes a lot for us to write something and put it out there for the world to see. We take time to create a piece of art and what you all say in your reviews really is our payment for doing so. To have someone so callously critique something, not in a helpful way or to the writer personally, is just disheartening. It is people and instances like that which make us not want to write any longer. _

_So please, be kind to those that authors who put their work out there. If you don't like it and can't find something constructive to say, move on. It's that simple. There is no growth for an author when they are made fun of or treated poorly... It just makes us give up..._

_End of Rant_

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Chapter 22 – Earth Angel

~ Edward ~

Never... It would never be enough.

Even if I had the rest of eternity to tell her, whispering my love to her every second of that time, it would never be enough.

I had only ever told one other woman in my life that I loved her and truly meant it, besides my mother, of course. Looking back on that previous declaration to a woman who later betrayed me in the harshest of ways, it couldn't compare to my feelings for Bella.

Everything with my Singer was different. What I was feeling, how I viewed the world... I guessed love could make even someone who was as jaded as me see through rose colored glasses, singing about puppies and kittens until the dawn or some shit. I was all about the sappy crap nowadays.

And I didn't give two shits less if I was viewed as some pathetic, pussy-whipped sod. I wore my status on my chest like a badge of honor, proclaiming to all women that I was taken completely and thoroughly.

Needless to say, things with Bella seemed to be progressing quickly. We'd spent every moment we could with each other over the next couple of weeks, both of us lost in this cosmic honeymoon phase, were the world seemed to revolve around the pair of us. In that time, I learned so much about her.

She wasn't just incredibly beautiful on the outside, but inside as well. In fact, if it were possible, I'd say her inner being surpassed her outward beauty, matched only by the sound of her voice.

In our enchanted time together, where I was so sickly infatuated with her she could have shit bunnies and I would have thought it was cute, we'd been so wrapped up in each other. It didn't matter what we were doing, either. We'd done the mundane dates, where food and some sort of visual stimuli were indulged. Honestly, I couldn't remember the trivial things of those nights. I was so consumed with every detail about Bella. I'd remembered the certain way she held her hair slightly back from her face or the way she smelled, not the specific minutiae of what we'd actually done.

Looking back on that, I blamed my selective amnesia on how stunningly graceful Bella was. Not that she wasn't incredibly clumsy. I was surprised the girl didn't live in the hospital when she wasn't working; she had so many bumps and bruises from random collisions into stationary objects her body would mysteriously gravitate towards. Her grace came from within, shining out like one of those old time movie stars whose classic beauty emphasized her inward character.

The way she held herself, the manner in which she spoke... Every aspect of her drew me in, calling to the deeply seeded, innate needs of the most basic part of me. Her personality complemented mine while her enticing body kept my interest piqued. I could feel myself falling deeper for her, and that fact only made me smile.

And I wasn't the only one...

It seemed the love bug had bitten both my friends as well. Jasper and Emmett had been on a mission to seduce Bella's friends since the night we'd all gone out. The girls played hard to get at first, citing male idiocy as their rationale for remaining elusive. Bella told me they were just being careful with their hearts due to the rocky start for both pairs, and I silently wondered when the night of the Gala would stop popping up as the proverbial pain in my ass.

The boys wined and dined, begged and pleaded. And as I enjoyed countless moments with Bella, enjoying the simple task of getting to know her better, the boys would grumble and groan, wondering what the hell I'd done to win Bella's affections. I'd just tell them it was my manly charms, knowing damn well I was a lucky SOB that she even gave me the time of day... especially with all my familial bullshit.

My uncle Aro had recently made a huge blunder with some financial investments that unfortunately became public news when the Feds showed up at his law firm with a warrant and several file bins waiting to be filled with his personnel and business information. The details of the investigation were still unknown; the Feds were being incredibly hushed, even for the influence of the Cullen name.

Bella was very supportive of me, trying to comfort me when I'd get a phone call from Carlisle venting his frustration with Aro's bad choices. The media was having a field day with it, coming up with ridiculous theories that my whole family could be implicated in his dealings. Thing was, according to Carlisle, there was a possibility that the Feds could turn toward the family in their investigation. Carlisle wasn't particularly nervous for himself, but he seemed to be a little edgy about something. When I asked him about it, he'd just say that he had a long day at the hospital and changed the subject.

My grandfather did as he always did in these types of situations: used the whole cloak and dagger approach to hide any embarrassment. He'd usually have his publicist come up with some other scandal or something to get the attention off the family. I didn't know what he planned this time around, and I didn't want to find out.

He'd been attempting to set up some sort of meeting with me through Victoria. She'd sent me a couple emails stating the Caius had requested my presence at his estate or some other bullshit. I had yet to answer. I hated getting involved, and I knew damn well he wanted me for some fucking reason involving some kind of public smoke and mirrors jib for Aro's sake. He'd already met with my father, and despite my efforts at poking and prodding answers from him, Carlisle was being uncharacteristically tight lipped about it. I didn't care either way. In my humble opinion, I'd already put in my annual dues when I'd hosted that nightmare event for the AHA.

But Caius was being persistent — well, passively through Victoria — about meeting with me. I figured I'd be as evasive as possible for as long as I could, hoping that whatever Caius had planned to save the Cullen name could be done without me.

One could only hope...

Besides, I had a huge event planned for Bella that weekend, and there was no way I was going to let some trite bullshit fuck it up for her. I'd been planning this trip since the night at the record store, and part of me was sick with anticipation to see the look on her face when she saw what I done.

I had originally planned on making it an entire weekend event, but Bella couldn't get her shift on Sunday covered. It didn't hurt any of the plans; I was just bummed we'd have to cut our free weekend of endless fornication short.

I'd rented a room for two nights at the Alexis Hotel, the most coveted, luxurious accommodations Seattle had to offer. I hadn't used my financial status or name in a long while, but tonight, I was going all out. The tickets were to be delivered to the hotel with orders to be brought up to the suite with our brunch so that Bella could find them beside her plate of French toast. We were going to the concert that night after dinner at Canalis. After that, I planned on spending the rest of the night making Bella scream my name. Moaning it would work, too, as long as there was a little panting and toe-curling involved.

I pulled up to the ambulance bay outside the ED close to seven o'clock in the evening. Bella would be getting off shift soon, and I couldn't wait to see her. I'd been working the last two days, so we hadn't seen much of each other. She came by the station on Wednesday to see me for an hour or two, bringing me and the guys a plate of her homemade chocolate chip cookies. She instantly became a favorite with the crew, especially when she brought food with her. We only had an hour to snuggle on the couch before we received a call for another medical aide. It had been almost twenty-four hours since I'd last held her, and that was un-fucking-acceptable in my book.

I slammed the car into park, ignoring the glares I was receiving from some of the paramedics loading up their bus before they went out again. I technically wasn't supposed to park there, but since my father was pretty much head honcho around that place, people didn't really say much about it.

I walked through the large double doors and into the madness that was the ED, trying to see if I could spot Bella working among the fray. As I searched, I could see that they'd had a busy day at the hospital. There were gurneys lined down the hallways filled with patients. That usually meant that all the rooms were taken up, and they were over their capacity. If someone from the State were to walk in and see that they'd overfilled their quota, the hospital could get fined. My father never paid heed to those restrictions, though. He felt that patient care was of the utmost priority, rather than stupid numbers and regulations. Go figure...

I made my way to the main nurses' station to see if Bella was perhaps charting over there. I didn't see her, but I did see Mike from the Respiratory Department. He glanced up as I approached.

"Hey, Edward," he said over his clipboard. "Looking for your dad?"

"Uh, no. Bella, actually. Have you seen her?"

"She's around somewhere. We've been really busy with —"

_Respiratory STAT to CT, Respiratory STAT to CT, Respiratory STAT to CT_

"Gotta go," Mike said, barreling down the hallway followed by a doctor and two more nurses running toward the Radiology department. I wondered what was going on, but then I saw someone pull a crash cart and follow in the same direction. I guessed the patient coded on the table.

"Edward?" a male voice said behind me, and I turned to see my father standing there with several charts in his hands. I smiled at him in greeting as I made my way toward him. He looked a little frazzled and worn, but still as warm as ever as he returned my smile and reached out to hug me... in a manly way, of course.

"Hey, Dad. You guys look busy today."

"You have no idea," Carlisle said, placing the charts on the nurses' station and telling the Ward clerk to place his new orders. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm here to pick up Bella," I said, slightly embarrassed at admitting to my father even a teensy bit of the plans I had for us this weekend. I didn't know why — I was a grown, fucking man — but I think my dad had kind of a soft spot for Bella, so it made it awkward in a weird way.

"Oh, really?" he said, looking at me with that expression I'd seen countless times in my youth. The one that said, 'now Edward, I expect you to be on your best behavior'. I just grinned at him with the same smirk I'd flashed him in response. 'No worries, Dad. I won't get caught if I'm not.'

"Yeah. Have you seen her around? It's close to shift change, and I don't want to miss our reservations." Okay, that was a flat out lie. I just couldn't wait to have her under me. It had been way too damn long, and I needed to feel her skin on mine.

"Uh huh," Carlisle replied, not buying one bit of my bullshit. "She's over in Trauma Bay Two. She's had a rough day." We started to walk towards Bella's direction, my dad's pace slower than usual. Maybe his day was harder than I thought.

"You all look like it's been a mad house around here," I replied as an ED tech went whizzing by us in the direction of Radiology.

Carlisle nodded in confirmation. "That was the fifth code we've had today. Poor Bella has had two of them." We paused outside the trauma room, looking in to see Bella between two beds. On either side of her were very sick patients, intubated, and placed on mechanical ventilators. She was tending to one of them who had bright red blood coming up into the tubing that was descending into his mouth and down into the lungs. She was trying to suction the blood from the airway, but it seemed she wasn't making much headway. The more she tried, the more was produced. His bedside monitor was alarming, and I could see that his oxygenation levels were declining as she worked.

A moment later, the patient beside her started coughing violently. She had to stop what she was doing and tend to that one, making sure his sedation was adjusted so he didn't accidentally pull out his breathing tube in a fit of disorientation.

She looked exhausted as she worked to keep both patients stable, and I selfishly grumbled inside at the prospect of not being able to much time with her toinght. I knew she was tired and probably wouldn't be up for anything other than sleeping. _Damn it..._

"She's really good," Carlisle said, watching as Bella made some adjustments to the ventilator, then returned to help clear the patient's airway. "She works hard and is dedicated to her job. That says a lot about her character in my book. Treat her right, Edward."

"I am," I told him, not being able to tear my eyes away from Bella as I watched her working to save someone's life.

"Why is he bleeding so much?" I asked as the tubing for the suction catheter filled with bright red sputum.

"It looks like there's a small tear in his pulmonary artery," my dad answered, running his hands through his hair. "We won't know for sure until we get him to Interventional Radiology."

"A small tear? But there's so much blood." The canisters in the background were almost full, and I watched as Bella hurried to change them out before they overflowed.

"Every time his heart beats his lungs fill with blood," my father said. "We've transfused him with five units of blood already, and Bella has him on three vasopressors to keep him stabilized."

"Can't they embolize the vessel?" I asked, remembering some of my medical training from school.

Carlisle nodded, "Yes. We're just waiting for an available Radiologist to do it under flouroscopy. But with the code..." He trailed off, watching as Bella tried to keep the blood pressure above eighty systolic by adjusting the rate of the infusion for the blood pressure maintenance medication.

"Why isn't this patient in ICU?"

"No beds," my father sighed. "And I don't think he's stable enough to move him just yet, especially since he should be going for the procedure any minute. Usually, a patient this heavy would be assigned to one nurse only, but we are short staffed for our patient load. Bella's been awesome, juggling three patients, including the other ICU one beside him."

"Wow," I mumbled. I was truly blown away at watching Bella work. She was fast and efficient, taking the vitals and lab results into account as she treated each of her patients. She didn't pause once the whole time we watched her, always checking and double checking to make sure both patients were stable before she'd move onto another task.

In medical school, we were told that the nurses were the physicians' eyes and ears. We would write the orders but they were the ones who implemented them and monitored the patients for tolerance or need for more intervention. I never understood the gravity of that understatement until now.

Had I been a physician, finished and graduated as was my original plan, I don't know if I would have gained as much respect for the nursing profession as I had in the five minutes I stood there watching my girlfriend work. She was amazing, a true angel on this Earth, and I couldn't wait to pamper her this weekend like she deserved.

"Can I talk to you for a second, Edward?" Carlisle asked, and by the tone of his voice, I knew he wanted to discuss something serious. I hoped he wasn't going to go all noble on me, lecturing about Bella's virtue or some shit. I really didn't want to tell my father that it was something I was keeping very close tabs on...

"Sure."

He pulled me aside as a couple people in blue scrubs and surgery masks hurried into the trauma room with gowns and a flat gurney. I watched briefly as Bella and the crew began to transfer the patient to the gurney, preparing to take him for his embolization procedure.

"Have you spoken to your grandfather?" Carlisle's question pulled my attention away from the trauma room. I looked at him briefly before I answered.

"No, why?"

"Well, I think you might want to meet with him before things get out of hand."

"What happened now?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose to ward off the headache I could feel brewing at the mention of my oddball family.

"It seems that Felix and Demetri were caught with two underage girls," Carlisle said with a sigh, mirroring my frustration at the latest Cullen fuck up. "The charges were dropped — and I'm sure money exchanged hands in order for that to happen. In any case, it's another hit to the family. Caius is desperate to get things hushed and wrapped up."

"Placed in a small little box so no one can see our dirty secrets..." I finished his thought for him. Carlisle nodded in assent.

"The media hasn't gotten a hold of that info yet, but I'm sure it's a matter of time," Carlisle said, looking tired and worn. I thought maybe it wasn't the ED after all that had him looking so beat. "The media hounds are fishing for dirt at this point."

"What can I do to help?" I asked, looking at him with a frustrated expression. "It's not like I'm a big player among the social networks. And Caius has made it a point to keep me out of the family affairs so I don't embarrass anyone with my blue collar lifestyle. I'm surprised he even acknowledges that I am family."

"Caius loves you," Carlisle defended, and that thought made me laugh out loud.

"He doesn't love anyone," I argued. "Except Grandma, and even that seems cold at times."

My father sighed, "He's a difficult man, but he was raised to be who he is. It's been cultured by generations of uptight, egotistical men who believe our name is something to be revered."

I laughed, "So why the hell are we so messed up, huh?"

"Seems it skips a couple generations," Carlisle replied with a grin. He was joking, of course. I knew the real reason Carlisle wasn't like his father or his brother. It was my Grandmother, Heidi.

My grandmother had always been loving to the Cullen kids growing up, giving them the tenderness and nurturing needed for any child, but especially one with money and privilege. It was common practice for have nannies to raise children of wealth, but my grandmother never fell into that stereotype. Yes, she had a live-in nanny on Caius' request, but she was the one to care for them, only utilizing the help when she had outside obligations to fulfill. She was kind and loving, teaching each of her children humility and respect. It was a wonder how Aro had turned out so bad. I blamed my grandfather's attitude of self-worth, making sure his eldest boy carried on the tradition of cultivating a new generation of pretentious assholes.

She was a truly wonderful soul who'd been through a lot of pain over the years. She was a shadow of her former self, hidden away in her body where she tried to bare the pain of love and loss. I knew this because it was all too familiar for me, for we shared the same pain.

"Hey," I heard Bella say. She was walking toward me with a tired grin on her face.

"Hi, love," I said, taking the two steps toward her and wrapping my arms around her slight frame. She automatically fit herself into my chest, taking a slight sigh as my body molded around hers. I placed a small kiss on the top of her head, inwardly beaming at the feel of her in my arms once again.

"Long day?"

"Mmmhmm," she mumbled into my t-shirt. She pulled away slightly so she could lift her head to look at me. "I'm hungry," she groaned with a little pout, and it was so damn cute it made me giggle like an idiot.

"Okay, are you ready to go?" Bella nodded her head, but didn't make a move to pull away so she could get her stuff. I laughed.

After much coaxing, Bella left to go grab her stuff from her locker. I had gone by her house on the way here to grab her overnight bag from Rosalie, so we were ready to head straight to the suite as soon as we left.

Ten minutes later, and after Bella had been stopped several times by different doctors and nurses, we were on the road toward the hotel. Bella stayed silent in the seat next to me, gazing out into the streets as we whizzed by. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but knew she probably needed a moment or two to just unwind from her day.

Whenever I had an especially stressing day at work, I always needed a couple moments to just recuperate. When someone died on my watch, it kind of felt like a way to compartmentalize and justify the passing of a life so that I could handle it better. I was sure it was no different for Bella in her line of work. So I remained resolutely silent on the way there, knowing that if Bella needed to talk about something, she'd come to me. Having that knowledge made me smile because I realized that we were both learning so much about each other. I knew that she could and would depend on me if she needed me, as she would be that solid rock for me as well.

"I don't think that man will make it," she said in a flat monotone, and I could tell about whom she was thinking.

"It did look pretty serious," I agreed. I could see her lazily loll her head to the side in order to look at me.

"It was. I don't know if they can stop the bleeding in time, or if they could even see where their looking with that amount of blood."

"I'm sure they'll do their best," I said, taking my hand and placing it on her knee, giving her a comforting rub of reassurance.

"Maybe..." she agreed, then let out a huge yawn.

"Tired?" I asked.

"Mmmhmm," she replied. "I just want to go to the room and crash into bed."

"Sure thing, love," I said with a chuckle, but I couldn't help the disappointment at her confirmation that any nookie was out of the question tonight. "There's a huge bed with fresh sheets and down comforter waiting for you."

"Oh good," she replied through a yawn.

We arrived at the hotel, leaving the Vanquish with the valet. Our bags were brought up to our room as I quickly checked us in. Poor Bella was practically asleep standing next to me, and I hurriedly obtained the card key to the extensive suite floor. I held her close to me in the elevator, her head laid against my chest as we ascended.

Once inside, Bella perked up a bit as she took in the large suite. It was freshly furnished with elegant pieces of furniture that were a mixture of old antique accented with a modern flair. Bella loved it, and I smiled at her reaction when she took in the large bathroom equipped with jacuzzi tub and glass enclosed shower. She made a comment about the shower being larger than her closet at home, then decided to walk into it, clothes and all, to see if she could visually guesstimate the dimensions to see if she was right.

"Why don't you take a shower, baby? And I'll order some food," I told her with a smile, watching as she held her arms out wide, trying to measure the width of the shower stall.

"Okay," she replied, and I slipped out quickly as she began to remove her nasty hospital scrubs.

I made my way out to the main room, finding the room service menu and ordering quickly. I didn't know what Bella would prefer so I made a couple selections, figuring we'd probably end up sharing what each of us had anyway.

I made a few more requests with the front desk, making sure that the tickets had arrived and would be delivered in the morning as planned. This little surprise had the complete possibility of blowing up in my face, but I had a feeling it was going to be right up Bella's alley. I had even purchased some vintage T-shirts on eBay for us to wear to the concert, and I couldn't help but think that the fact the Eagles had recently reunited was some kind of cosmic blessing from her father personally.

Seriously, what were the chances that the Eagles' reunion tour would stop in Seattle right around the time Bella and I met. Besides the fact that she'd shared a wonderful story with me about her father and his love for band, I would never forget that the first time I made love to her was with their debut album playing in the background. It was poetic, almost. And I couldn't wait to see her face when she saw the front row tickets with back stage passes tomorrow morning.

"Edward," I heard her sweet voice call from the bathroom. "Can you come here for a sec?"

I replaced the menu back in the nightstand drawer and headed to the bathroom, thinking Bella probably needed something from her bag that was on the huge bed or something. But when I walked into the bathroom, what I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.

Bella was sitting in the tub filled with bubbles, one elegantly long, luscious leg hanging over the side. She had her hair piled on top of her head with a few wet strands stuck to the soft skin of her neck. She'd wiped her face clean, ridding herself of the makeup she'd put on this morning before work. She was so radiantly beautiful that I was stunned silent, not being able to comprehend if she was inviting me in with her heady gaze, or if I was just misinterpreting her tired, droopy eyes for lust-filled need.

"Hey, baby. Did you need something?" I asked, my hands gripping the door frame in order to keep myself stationary, not wanting to maul the poor woman in her exhausted state.

"Yeah, I do," she said, lifting her leg from the side of the tub so she could reach some of the bubbles that had congregated at her ankle. "I need you to get your ass in here and make me scream."

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**Thanks for your patience with the updates. I know they haven't been coming as often as they used to. **


	24. Chapter 23 Eagle Take Flight

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

* * *

Chapter 23 Eagle Take Flight

~Bella~

I woke up in a sex-addled haze, my hair matted and stuck to my skull from going to bed with it wet. The hours I'd spent making love to Edward didn't help matters either, but I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that crept upon my face at the thought of how the rat's nest came to be.

"What are you smiling about this morning, Beautiful?" Edward asked in a raspy voice as his arms holding my bare midriff pulled me tighter toward him.

"You. Last night," I answered on a sigh. "It was perfect, Edward, thank you."

"We have the whole weekend, Love. There is still much more to come," he told me as he trailed small kisses along the side of my face, down my neck, and back up toward my chin.

A wide smile crept onto my face as my eyes fluttered shut, my mind relaxing and just enjoying his small ministrations across my skin as I replayed his sweet words to me. My heart skipped a hurried beat at his term of endearment before my mind could formulate an adequate reply. And just as quickly as the complete and utter bliss appeared, a sharp reminder entered my thoughts, making me unreasonably sad at a moment when I should have felt nothing but pure contentment.

"Not the entire weekend," I reminded him with a tiny pout, rolling onto my back so he could read the extreme disappointment on my expression. He quickly took my protruding lip between his, sucking softly.

"I know, baby," he told me, his soft lips brushing against my own. "But you're mine until Sunday morning. And believe me when I tell you that I will make the most of every second we have together."

I kissed him gently, my tongue peeking out slightly to caress the silken skin of his bottom lip. Taking my cue, Edward parted his lips, swallowing my breathy moan at the feeling on his mouth on mine.

His hands roamed the expanse of my naked body, his fingers making that familiar hike across the plains and valleys of my most heightened areas.

"Do you know how much I love doing this?" he asked me as his fingertips ghosted across my bare skin, his gaze following in their wake. "Just feeling you? Touching you?"

"Hmmm," I replied, enjoying his touch too much to disturb the gentle ambiance his crooning created with my understated, simplistic words.

"I love watching how you react to me: my touch, my breath, even my voice seems to affect you."

"Everything you do affects me," I answered him, sighing as his fingers trailed the skin along my arm, across my hips, and down toward my thigh. He wrapped his fingers around my knee once he reached it, pulling on it to hook my leg around his body in attempt to bring me closer to him, but his sudden action caused me to wince slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asked me, his expression immediately becoming concerned as he took in my abrupt discomfort. I was sure he seemed confused as to the origin of my injury. If truth be told, I'd forgotten myself.

"Oh, I hit my leg on the crash cart yesterday," I explained, watching as Edward's gaze quickly flashed toward my leg, his steady fingers grazing across my bruised skin. "Mike wasn't watching where he was running with the cart, and sad to say, but with us together in the same crisis, we are bound to make matters worse." I giggled, a mental picture of what we must have looked like, spread out on the floor amongst a shit-ton of supplies that had spilled from the top of the crash cart, both scrambling to get up and simultaneously apologizing for our clumsiness.

"Did he hurt you?" Edward asked, a slight tinge of anger to his tone.

"No," I laughed. "I probably hurt him. In those kinds of situations, it's hard to say who fell on top of whom. We are both so damn accident prone. I couldn't tell you if it was my fault or his. Kinda like the chicken and the egg — which came first?"

"I don't know why they put you two together," Edward replied, frustrated while simultaneously amused. "I swear, I can't count how many times I've seen one or both of you in a near fatal accident."

"Well, that's over-exaggerating, don't you think?" I retorted humorlessly, trying to maintain a show of mock hurt.

"No," Edward answered bluntly. "I swear I've seen Mike fall with a sharp object in his hand, which could have easily punctured a lung or something had he fallen on it wrong. And you, Miss Swan, have had near misses yourself."

"Whatever," I laughed, pushing on Edward's shoulder in jest. "It is not that bad."

"It is too that bad," Edward answered playfully. "I think that place should come with warning to all the visitors who venture there: Beware of the Stumbling Beauty and her Buffoon of an assistant."

"Shut. Up," I told him, grabbing his pillow and bopping him in the head with it, all while laughing at the fact that he was probably right. I'd always held a fondness for my lack of grace, and I was proud of the fact that I could laugh at myself when the occasion called for it.

"Ouch," Edward said suddenly, and I dropped the pillow immediately, thinking that I had truly hurt him in my playfulness.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"No, Bella. I'm fine. I was talking about that huge bruise you have on you. It really looks like it hurts."

I pushed myself up on my elbows so that I could glance down at my knee, bending my leg so I could better assess the damage in my latest attempt to greet the floor in style. I had a hideously nasty bruise that covered the outside of my knee, all the way to my mid-thigh on my right leg. It looked angry and tender, and I grimaced as the memory of that fateful collision with Mike and the damned crash cart came flashing back to me.

"Yeah, it was a doozy," I told him on a sigh.

"Did you have that x-rayed?" Edward asked seriously, his tone concerned.

"No," I laughed. "It doesn't need to be x-rayed, Edward. It's just a bruise."

"That is more than a bruise, Bella."

"Fine, a hematoma then..." I placated.

"I wish you would have told me about it last night," he chided. "I wouldn't have been so rough with you. And what we did in the bathtub... How did you do that without being in an incredible amount of pain?"

"I had other things on my mind," I said with a husky voice, my expression becoming wanton. Yes, I was trying to distract him, coax him into taking advantage of the fact that we had a whole day ahead of us with nothing else to do but spend every second of it nude and connected in some way.

Edward glanced at me, giving me a look that said 'not now, babe', but also with a hint of playfulness that told me he could be easily coerced into seeing things my way.

He gently ran his fingertips over my bruised skin, feeling every part of my injury to see if there were certain spots hurt more than others. His attention was sure and fixed on my discomfort, and a part of me was smitten with the fact he took such good care of me.

The other part of me, the one that wanted him inside of me despite my pain, realized that I was laying on a bed, completely naked, with Edward very close to my bare lady bits as he assessed the damage to my knee.

"I think we should have Carlisle look at this," he was saying as he tilted his head to the side to achieve a better angle. "Did you report this, Bella? I mean, something like this should be assessed by a physician. You never know what kind of repercussions a large hematoma near your joint could do in the long run."

"I think I'll live," I told him with a sardonic smile, judging my inner diva to see if she had enough guts to go through with the sudden idea that popped into my mind.

"Bella," Edward chastised.

"Edward," I mirrored, but my tone had more of a plea in it than his did, making him glance at me quickly to take in my meaning. And that was when my inner diva stood to attention, declaring herself in charge. For the first time in my life, I let her have the reigns.

"I think the other parts of my body are feeling neglected," I told him honestly. "For example," I continued, making sure to have on my best sex kitten eyes. "I think my inner thigh feels just a tad bit jealous." I parted my legs, showing him the part of me that was feeling the most left out. Edward gasped slightly at he roamed his eyes down my bare torso toward my dripping center that needed, ached for his touch.

"You see how lonely this part is," I told him, trailing my own fingers down my abdomen, along the small area near my groin, towards the part of my thigh I could touch without sitting up fully. "It misses your touch. I don't think it likes all the attention my banged up knee is getting. Especially since it's aching for the feel of you just as much as the other part is."

"My apologies," Edward stated in a remorseful tone. "I was just making sure your injury was up for some more... how should I put this? For more action?"

"Oh, baby," I moaned as I felt Edward's fingers travel gently across my knee, and toward the soft skin of my inner thigh. My head fell back onto the pillows as he ventured toward my pussy lips, not going near my aching center, but just teasing the swollen skin around it.

"Look at you, Bella," Edward told me, his voice deep and rough. "Your body calls to me, do you know that? It has since the first time I laid eyes on you."

He still hadn't touched me where I needed him to, teasing and torturing me with his agile grazes; so close yet so far from me that it made me burn inside. I tried to lift my hips, angling myself toward him in an attempt to get him to touch me where I needed, but he pulled his hand away, knowing what I was doing.

"No, sweetness," he told me. "We do this my way... nice and slow... or not at all. I wouldn't want you to re-injure yourself."

"Ugh, now you're so concerned? What about last night? You weren't careful then..."

"Last night I didn't know you were hurt, Isabella," he chided in a deep, commanding tone that had my insides melting. "Now that I know, I will take proper care of you."

"But I like you rough," I told him, egging him on. He growled in retort, making me giggle.

"No," he said brusquely. "Not now, not this minute. I want to savor, devour..."

He positioned himself between my legs, using his strong hands to grasp me by the hips and move me closer to his mouth. The anticipation to feel his lips on me grew sharply in my gut, and I instinctively arched into him, wanting his contact to come quickly and thoroughly. But instead of meeting my body's demands, he teased me further, running his tongue along the outside perimeter of my pussy.

Against my earlier declaration, I had returned to the Bringer of Pain for another wax job. I couldn't, in good conscience, not have myself completely bare for my man, especially when I knew he liked it so much. He'd made several comments about it, and nearly died of laughter when I told him how Rosalie had tricked me into going the day before the Gala. And when I'd told him about the little squares of candy — that from then hence was known as the Pussy Cubes — he'd become really quiet and thoughtful. After that, he'd made several jibes about them, and part of me wondered if he'd been considering it as something he'd be interested in trying. In all honesty, I knew he'd want to try them. Edward loved to go down on me. In fact, there wasn't a time we'd made love in which I could recall him not tasting me for just a moment or two. And to add something as erotic as a Pussy Cube... But the reluctant part of me was worried that something like that would cause a horrible yeast infection, rendering my lady bits out of commission for longer than the momentary pleasure would be worth.

But now, as I lay here on that bed, with my lover between my legs, torturing me endlessly, I think a little suga cube from an old Asian lady would just add more to the moment.

"What are you thinking about, baby?" Edward said, his tongue finally tasting me right above my clit; not touching it, just flirting with it a bit.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Well, that's not true," he replied, his warm breath brushing over my pussy. "You see, here I am, about to lick you senseless, and there you are, off in some dreamland. What is so interesting to pull you away from the task at hand?"

"Pussy Cubes," I told him in response. My comment seemed to have lit his fire, for on a feral growl, Edward dove into me with the ferocity of a man starving.

"Oh, ga... Ungh..." I moaned and writhed below him as he worked me over, taking his teeth and using them to pull at my clit while using his tongue to flick the nub at the same time. His thick, long fingers plunged into me, immediately curling upwards and finding that spot inside me that had my toes curling on the bed.

"Calm, Bella," Edward demanded, reaching on hand up and pushing my hips back down on the bed. "Relax. Let me make you come undone."

"I can't," I panted. "Not when you do this to me."

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, pulling his glorious mouth away from me and stilling his fingers.

"No," I practically shouted. "Don't stop, please."

"Then hold still," he commanded. "I swear I will tie you down if I have to, Isabella."

Sudden images of Edward above me while I'm chained to his bed flashed through my mind, and a rush of warmth flooded through me.

"Hmmm, I think someone likes the idea of being held down; look how wet you are. Does the idea of your vulnerability excite you, Isabella?"

"Yes," I replied honestly, my inner diva still at the helm.

"What about blindfolded? Does that make you hot?"

"Oh god, yes. Please?"

Edward stood abruptly from the bed, turning toward the large closet near the bathroom, and I heard myself whimper at the sudden loss of him near me. Edward turned around quickly at my small sound of weakness.

"Don't. Move," he told me, commanding and expecting one hundred percent obedience. I nodded frantically, stilling my body the way it was as to not upset him.

Edward quickly entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I could hear him in there going through stuff, but I had no idea what he was doing. My mind was running over the previous few minutes, anticipating what was about to happen.

The way Edward was speaking to me, commanding and in control, had my blood boiling. As a general rule, I'd never let a man talk to me that way. I had always been hesitant about that aspect of a man in fear that they'd abuse their control once given the power. I'd believed that only a few men on this Earth could dominate a woman, and still be loving and kind.

So to have Edward take charge but still remain thoughtful and conscious of my wants and needs – to be in control of me, for me — I was left a wanton mess inside.

The bathroom door opened roughly and Edward walked out with my curling iron and my blow drier.

"What are you —" I asked him, but was cut off by a sharp look that demanded silence from Edward. I acquiesced, wanting him to keep this playtime going as long as possible. I was interested to see how far he'd take this.

Edward knelt down by the bed, grabbing my left ankle and placing it at the edge, spreading my leg wide. With the cord of the curling iron, he tied my ankle firmly, securing the other end of the cord to the bed post nearest the floor. He stood, gazed at me quickly with hooded eyes, then walked to the other side of the bed. I watched him intently, not moving a muscle but keeping him in my line of site.

When he reached the other side, he made a move to grab my right leg. Suddenly, he withdrew his hand, his eyes flashing to mine.

"Babe, I don't know if this is a good idea," he said, all hint of command and authority gone.

"Why?" I asked him, breathless as the disappointment flooded over me. I really wanted this, surprisingly. And I couldn't help but feel a little remorse at the possibility of it not happening.

"I don't want to hurt your leg," he told me, his eyes moving over toward my bruise with reluctance on his expression.

"Edward, I'll be fine."

"But—"

"Please?" I begged him, sitting up slightly so I could see him better. "It won't hurt. Remember, you're tying me up to keep me still."

I could see the war raging behind Edward's eyes. He was incredibly turned on, evidenced by his raging hard on standing at full attention before me. I knew he wanted to, knew that he had a taste of the control and wanted to play with it as much I wanted him to. And truthfully, the concept of adding a little more adventure into the bedroom had me buzzing with excitement inside. What could be a more fitting time than now, when we had an entire room and an entire day to explore?

"Lay down, Isabella," Edward told me sharply, then bent down toward the edge of the bed once I'd complied, a flutter of anticipation swarming in my belly.

"I agree to do this only if you tell me if I've hurt you straight away," he said in a firm tone. I nodded in affirmation. "I mean it, Bella. One slight pain and this is gone, okay?"

I watch him go toward his suit case, checking out his bare ass as he went. God, that man was perfection. The way his body was sculpted to practical flawlessness had me drooling. How the hell did I end up so damned lucky? And the fact that he wanted to play with me made him even more enticing.

Edward walked back quickly, pulling a belt and a long dress sock he'd had in his bag toward me. The first, he used to tie my wrists together, holding them above my head. The second, he used to gently tie around my eyes, leaving me completely vulnerable and exposed.

There was silence for several moments; just my rapid heartbeat and inspirations could be heard. I felt the anticipation grow in my belly, my pussy becoming wetter by the minute.

"I like you this way," he told me, his voice coming from a different part of the room than I expected it to. I felt the bed move slightly toward my left, and I could sense Edward moving closer to me. He wasn't touching me, though, so I couldn't tell exactly what he was doing. I knew he was on the bed, but kneeling? Laying? I didn't know.

"God, you're amazing, Isabella," he said, but his voice sounded further away. Was he standing? On the bed? Looking down at me? "Do you know what it does to me to see you like this? How hard I am right now?"

I shook my head 'no', not trusting my voice to be able to formulate coherent words. I felt the bed move, jostled once again, and then his voice came from a different spot, closer now than before.

"Feel me," he said, and I gasped as I felt his erection glide up my slit, hard and demanding, thick and throbbing, as always.

I moaned, my hips automatically wanting to surge forward to greet him, but was stayed by my restraints.

The bed moved again, quicker this time, with more movement. I heard him inhale deeply, then his voice came from below me.

"God, Isabella. I can smell how much you want me. Does this make you hot, baby? Does laying there under my control make you ache?"

I couldn't answer, because as soon as his words had stopped, I felt his tongue glide up my pussy, stopping on my achingly swollen nub. His fingers plunged into me, pumping fast and hard as his mouth continued to taste me. I groaned, almost screamed his name at the sensation of him touching me so intimately, so powerfully. With one of my senses taken away, everything else was so much more aware, heightened.

I cried out as he brought me to the edge of oblivion, pushing me over and out of control. I heard him panting as the mattress moved again, and I could feel him positioning himself on top of me, his warm breath on my chest as he moved.

"I could be anywhere right now and you wouldn't know what was coming, would you Isabella?"

_Oh God..._

"I could be about to put the tip of my dick on your lips and you wouldn't know it until you tasted my pre-cum."

"Oh yes, please," I whispered, salivating and warming at the same time. I wanted it, him in my mouth, his torturous acts without my knowledge or consent. I wanted him to do every little dirty thing his mind could come up with, and I wanted to relinquish every fantasy I'd had about this type of play onto him so that he could fulfill them for me.

"Not tonight," he told me firmly. "I want to come inside you, Isabella. I want to watch you come around me. No more games. No more torture. Would you like that? If I gave that to you?"

"Yes."

"Do not move, Isabella. I will be the one to fuck you, do you understand. If you move at all, I will stop."

I nodded fervently, willing to agree to anything as long as it resulted in him being inside me quicker. I felt his body move again, and before I could surmise what he was doing, I felt the entire length of him plunge into me. My legs were spread wide, secured and unmoving, so there was no need for adjustments on my part. He worked hard and fast, plowing into me over and over again until I felt the sweat pool on his body, slick and wet against my own.

"Oh, Bella," he moaned as he fucked me. I tried desperately to get closer to him, wanting to feel every inch of him go into me with that heady speed. I managed to make the smallest maneuver with my hips, changing the angle slightly. It was then that I remembered Edward's warning about not moving and instantly went on alert, holding my hips still so that he could see my realization that I'd made a mistake and wouldn't do it again. But it seemed Edward was just as caught up in the sensations as I was, for he didn't pause nor rebuke me. In fact, he seemed to go further into me, picking up his speed, and our angle shifted.

With my senses skewed, my orgasm came quick and efficient, stronger than I'd ever had. Perhaps it was because of my eyesight being hindered, or maybe the headiness of our play. In any case, I was left a mess when Edward was done with me, and it took the entire time Edward spent releasing my bindings for me to calm down.

We took a shower, deciding that we needed to clean not only the morning perspiration off, but also the remnants of last night's activities as well.

We talked about what had just happened between us as we washed each other, both agreeing that it was something we'd like to venture further with in the future. Not every time, but when the interest sparked. I could never see us going fully into the BDSM world — I think it would scare the both of us if we ever did try anything more than we had tonight — but the future was filled with possibilities, and the only thing that mattered was that Edward planned on exploring with me.

Edward left the shower early because there was an insistent knock at the door.

"I believe that is breakfast," Edward said as he toweled off, pulling my pouting face toward him for one last kiss before he went and answered the door.

Once he left the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock on the side of the bed glowing through from the bedroom.

"But it's eleven thirty," I called after him, shocked that we'd not only slept so late, but had basically spent the morning doing naughty, dirty things to each other.

"Brunch, then," Edward retorted from the room, and I smiled again as I hurried to get rinsed off.

Edward had ordered us a pair of those huge, fluffy white robes that I'd seen countless times on TV. I'd always wanted to try one, but never stayed in a place that had them for their guests. With a huge smile on my face, I grabbed the one reserved for me hanging in the closet and pulled it on. It was like being wrapped up by a marshmallow, it was so damned comfortable.

"Mmmm," I moaned, rubbing my hands down the arms of the robe, cuddling the fabric closer to me.

"I don't like hearing that sound without me touching you in some way," Edward said, coming up behind me to wrap his arms around me. He had on his own fluffy white robe, and the added softness made me hum in satisfaction.

"These are like the fabric of the gods," I told him, leaning into his chest and closing my eyes, content. We stood like that for several moments, both enjoying the calm and relaxation a little longer.

"Come on," Edward said softly. "Our food is getting cold."

We walked out into the bedroom hand in hand. Edward had set up a trolley loaded with different plates and dishes near the bed. I took a seat and assessed what was there, my stomach rumbling.

"This looks good, baby," I told him, taking the covers off some of the items to see what he'd ordered. There was a plate of Eggs Benedict, a bowl full of sausage and bacon, a pitcher of orange juice, a plate stacked tall with buttered toast. It was the last item that had me the most excited, for it was my absolute favorite breakfast food: nice, thick pieces of Texas-toast styled french toast.

_Yum..._

"How are we ever going to eat all of this food?" I laughed, grabbing an empty plate from the stack and loading it up. I glanced up at Edward as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked anxious about something, but I figured it was probably because he hadn't realized how much food he'd ordered until now.

"Um, guess my eyes were bigger than our stomachs," he laughed nervously. His reaction made me take notice. I guessed he was really remorseful about it, like maybe he felt bad we were going to waste all that food.

I reached toward the plate of french toast and selected two pieces from the top. Making sure they were coated with a lot of fattening butter, I grabbed for the syrup and poured it on top of my ten thousand calorie, don't-give-a-damn-about-it feast, then went to put it back in its place. That was when I noticed a white envelope addressed to me sitting on the table where the syrup was sitting. Setting aside the sticky goodness, I reached for the envelope and looked it over curiously.

"What's this?" I asked, looking at Edward curiously. He didn't respond, just sat next to me on the bed, gesturing toward the envelope with a flat expression on his face. His eyes were more expressive though; they told me of his anxiety.

Quickly but carefully, I parted the top of the envelope and peered inside. Two long, rectangular slips of thick paper were nestled inside, and I reached in to pull them out.

"I thought we could go tonight," Edward told me in a soft tone as I gazed down at the ticket in my hand, stunned. "It's supposed to be a nice evening; the weather's not so terrible."

"Edward..." I didn't know what to say.

"If it's too much for you, Bella, we can stay in. I mean, I thought it would be something you'd like to do — to honor your dad and all. And since we've had sort of a thing for the Eagles from the beginning, it thought it would be fitting. But if it's too much, there's no prob—"

I cut off his ramblings with the force of my attack. Before he could finish those words, I planted my lips on his.

"That. Is. The. Most. Amazing," I told him between the kisses I peppered over his entire face. "Thing. Anyone. Has. Ever. Done."

He laughed, taking his arms and holding me close to him as he let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I'm so happy you are okay with this, Bella," he told me. "I wasn't sure you'd be up for it, but when I saw that they were in town, I couldn't pass it up. I mean, what are the odds?"

I sniffled, taking my sleeve to wipe the unseemly snot off my face. I hadn't realized I was crying, and I didn't think Edward had either. He pulled up my face so that he could meet me gaze, and I saw his immediate concern flash at me intently.

"Are you okay, Love?" he asked, wiping away the tears from under my eyes. I nodded, and then took a deep breath so that I could reply without sounding like a blubbering idiot.

"I just don't know what to say," I told him on a shrug, the tears rimming my eyes once more. "That you would think of this, knowing how much it would mean to me... Edward, I've never, in my life, had someone that cared that much for me since my father's passing. I just love you so much."

"I love you too, baby," he told me, pressing his soft lips upon mine briefly.

We finished brunch quickly, talking about all the Eagles songs we hoped they played at the concert. Well, I mostly talked while Edward listened intently. Afterward, he pulled out the vintage tees he'd found on eBay for the concert; one was from their first tour. I was so ecstatic, I practically peed my pants when I saw them.

The concert was perfect. Our seats were close enough that I could see the sweat pouring off the guys as they played. And meeting them backstage, no matter how brief the contact was, absolutely made my century.

I made love to Edward that night countless times, each time was like showing him with my body how much he meant to me. The thing of it was, I didn't think he could ever understand fully what that meant to me, having a piece of my father remembered and celebrated by the pair of us like that. Losing a parent is never easy, but for me, it was excruciatingly hard. I'd never been able to find someone who could empathize with my loss. It was almost like I suffered it alone, inside my mind, where the grief festered and internalized into this incredible passion for the music my father loved. It was like my own private memorial to him that no one knew about, and that could only be partially glimpsed when I would sing. But no one knew why I sang with such passion. No one knew that each note was a dedication to him. Until now...

I could trust Edward with that secret, even share part of that hidden shrine inside me for my father. I'd never thought of sharing those songs I'd written for him so long ago with another living soul, but as I watched Edward sleeping in the early morning hour, I felt myself wanting to give him a piece of that. After all, of all the people in this world, no one could ever come closer to my heart than Edward. How could I keep something that meant so much to me hidden from the one who shared my soul, who harbored my love?

My shift at work that morning was a blur. Edward had driven me in, dropping me off near the ambulance bay with a steaming kiss to send me off with. I thought my head remained in the clouds from that moment forward, reliving every moment I'd spent with Edward over the last couple days.

True to his word, Edward had told his father about my knee. After much reassuring and bargaining, Carlisle was granted a quick assessment of the damage. He'd prescribed me some mild pain killers, which I had no intention of filling, and told me that I should go home to rest my leg. Since it was a workman's comp issue, I'd get paid for the day anyways. So, I happily skipped outside, running back into Edward's arms as he picked me up.

I accused him of orchestrating this whole thing with his father, but he assured me that he only had my best interest at heart. And since we'd spent the rest of the day naked in his bed while he took ample advantage of the fact that I was on bedrest, I could tell that he had my best interests at the forefront of his mind.

The next two months flew by. Edward and I were inseparable, and I hadn't been so happy ever in my recollection. We spent every minute together, sometimes holed up in one of our places, not seeing anyone else for several days. The girls were starting to call our days of absence as The Cocoon of Love, and all I did was giggle at the mention of it.

They were just as bad as Edward and me. They'd both given in to Jasper and Emmett, taking my advice and forgiving them before they finally gave up and walked away.

The six of us were incredibly happy, and it seemed that everything was just as it should be.

Lately, I'd been contemplating how I should introduce Edward to my personal music. He knew about the compositions; that was something I'd told him about right after the concert, just so he could get an idea of how much his surprise had meant to me. At the time, he understood that it took a lot of trust on my part to even acknowledge that the compositions existed, and told me that he'd patiently wait until I was comfortable enough to share them with him. I couldn't have loved him more for that.

It was late June, the weather was warming up, and I was planning on having a nice breakfast with Edward all prepared and ready for when he got off work. It was our three month anniversary, and I had a whole morning planned. Today was the day I'd share my music with Edward.

While I was at the stove, mixing the pancake batter, my phone rang. I wiped my hands on a cloth and reached toward the counter for my cell.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby," Edward said in a tired voice. "How are you doing this morning?"

"I'm good, sweetie. You sound exhausted."

"I am," he answered with a sigh. "We were up all night on a call."

"I'm sorry. Do you want to put off getting together until later so you can rest?" I asked, trying hard to hide my disappointment. I'd learned early on in our relationship that being with a fireman meant I had to be flexible. We never knew when things could get crazy with his schedule, or when he could be ordered back. It came with the territory, and I was willing to go with the flow.

"Well, that's why I was calling instead of coming right over. Do you mind if we push back breakfast for a late brunch? My grandmother called and she needs to see me. I don't know why, but she never calls unless it's something important."

"Of course, baby," I told him honestly. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure, but I'll call you when I'm on my way to you, okay?"

"Alright, sweetie."

I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I wasn't so much disappointed I wouldn't get to see him until later. I was more worried about his grandmother. Heidi Cullen was a reserved woman, at least that was how I saw her. She was quiet and demure, not really getting involved with the day to day Cullen business. I'd only met her a couple of times, but she'd always smiled at me warmly, never glaring at me with disdain like her husband often did.

I hoped everything was okay with her. I knew how much Edward cared for her.

I put the eggs and sausage in the oven to keep warm, and placed the fruit bowl I'd prepared in the refrigerator to chill along with the pancake batter. Deciding to pass the time in the best way I knew how, I grabbed the current novel I was engrossed in and sat down on the couch, enjoying the quiet morning in solitude.

I didn't know how much time had passed as I sat and read. I did as I often do, became completely lost in the story, oblivious to my surroundings until there was a sudden knock on the door. Thinking it was Edward, I quickly made my way to the door, wrenching it open.

"Hey Bells," a deep voice said to me, bringing me up short.

"Jake," I answered, simultaneously disappointed and surprised. We hadn't spoken since our little blow up after the Gala. I figured he needed some cooling off time. "What are you doing here? I thought..."

"I'm sorry I got angry with you, Bella," he told me hurriedly. "I just got a little concerned when I saw Cullen getting his claws into you."

"Jake..." I warned.

"I know, I know," he replied, holding his hands up in resignation. "It's none of my business and I'll keep my mouth shut."

I looked at him skeptically, judging his sincerity by the way he carried himself.

"Is it okay if I come in?" he asked, pulling me out of my momentary contemplation.

"Yeah, come in." I turned on the spot and headed into my living room where the square footage was the largest, thinking that perhaps if we had a little bit of space between us, things wouldn't get heated right away. Jake followed in behind me, shutting the door as he entered.

"Let's just get this straight, Jake," I told him as I walked toward my couch. "I don't want to talk about what happened that night, okay? It was really out of character for me, I know," I turned around to finish my statement because it was important that he understood this part of it thoroughly, "but what I shared with Edward was —"

I didn't finish; I couldn't. Jake had come up right behind me, placing his body directly by mine and I had been unaware. When I turned to make my point about Edward and I clear, Jake had grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to him. Before I could do anything but gasp, Jake's lips were pressed against mine. They were hard and harsh, pushing against me with the force and desperation of a man drowning. I couldn't do anything: couldn't think, couldn't act, except to just stand there, unmoving, stunned.

* * *

**Thanks to all of you still out there reading this little fic. I know updates have been coming slow, but those of you who offer me support make me keep trucking along with this story, so I thank you very much. **


	25. Chapter 24 Instigator

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

* * *

Chapter 24 - Instigator

~ Bella ~

"What the fuck!" I spat, pushing Jacob away with all the force I could muster from my body. He was large and intrusive, but I managed to back him up enough to place some distance between us. Jake was looking at me with a strange expression, but I was so shocked by his actions that I couldn't even begin to translate its meaning.

In all the time I'd known Jake, he'd never tried anything with me. He never expressed interest in me nor made me feel uncomfortable. He'd always been a friend of mine — a dear, true companion I saw more like a brother than anything else.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked him, my face frozen in my shock.

"Tell me it's not true," Jake said in a low tone, his eyes imploring.

"What's not true?" I asked. When he didn't answer, just continued to stare at me as if he was trying to read the truth in my expression, I'd finally had enough.

"Look, Jake, I don't know what the hell your problem is or what you were thinking kissing me like that, but I need to make something quite clear. I love Edward. We are together, and if you have some kind of hidden flame for me that I was unaware of, well, I'm sorry but our friendship is going to have to end."

My mind was flashing back to a conversation I'd had with Edward once, where he was adamant about Jake having feelings for me. I'd denied it at the time because Jake and I had always been good friends and nothing more. But now, looking back on Jake's avid interest in my life, perhaps he was feeling more than I could return. Maybe his feelings for me were never that friendly.

My thoughts were quickly returned to the present when Jake took a quick step toward me, making me gasp slightly in surprise at his abruptness. Before I could register what he was doing, he was in front of me, towering over me like some manic giant.

"Tell me this shit isn't true, Bella," Jake said, forcefully grasping my upper arms as he shook me a little bit, making my head jostle slightly.

"What shit?" I asked, my voice raising an octave. "Let go of me, Jake. You're hurting me."

"I need to know, Bella," he said, his voice wavering and eyes filling with tears. "How could you love him, knowing what he is?"

"A Cullen?" I asked, confused. "Jake, whether he's rich or poor, that doesn't matter to me. And it doesn't to him, either. Now let go of me."

"A Cullen?" Jake repeated, his tone just as flabbergasted as mine. He let go of me and turned away frustrated, his fists clenched at his sides. I felt the blood rush back to my arms as I watched Jake pace back and forth like a caged animal. I tried to open my mouth, ask him what was going on, but I'd never seen Jake like this. It kept the words stuck in my throat, my thoughts frozen. He'd been pissed off at me one time in my life that I could recall, and it was for getting piss ass drunk and disappearing with some random guy in college. He'd been furious with me, taking on the big brother role as usual. Now looking back, perhaps he felt more for me at the time than just a protector.

With this new understanding, I wondered if his feelings for me could be traced back that far, whether his actions had been driven by jealousy rather than a need to protect.

"Jake," I said, my voice as calm and imploring as I could make it. "I don't understand. Why are you so upset?"

"Upset?" Jake practically screamed. He turned on me abruptly, his eyes flashing with anger. "Upset? I'm not upset, Bella. I'm furious. I don't understand how you could love someone like that, knowing that he's the son of a murderer."

"W-w-what?"

"A murderer, Bella. A filthy, homicidal maniac! How could you be with him knowing what he has the potential to become."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jacob. Edward Cullen's father is Carlisle Cullen. He's a physician at the hospital I work at, not a murderer."

Jacob laughed mirthlessly, his hand pulling at his hair in disbelief. "That son of a bitch..." he spat.

"Jacob, I think it's best you leave," I told him, walking swiftly to the door in order to let him and his lies out of my life for good. Edward should be here any moment, and I didn't want him finding Jacob here spitting his lies like venom, causing a scene in front of the neighbors. "I don't know what you have against Edward. The Rachel thing, I can understand why you'd be upset, but Edward is really sorry for hurting her. But for you to come up with some crazy story about his father being homicidal... Jake, that's going too far."

"You're right, Bella. Carlisle Cullen is not a murderer. He is also not Edward's father." His words were delivered in a flat monotone. I looked at him, stunned that he would say such a blatant lie, like I wouldn't know if Carlisle wasn't Edward's biological father. I was his girlfriend; the person he'd declared his love to. He'd tell me if that was the case, I was sure of it.

But when I saw the sincerity in Jake's eyes, all traces of anger and rage gone, leaving nothing left but sympathy at the obvious fact I'd been left in the dark, I knew. It was like a punch to the gut as the realization washed over me, accented sharply by the compassionate look on Jake's face as I slowly accepted that I didn't know anything about Edward Cullen at all.

"What are you talking about, Jake?" My voice sounded distant, flat, with no emotion; almost like I was listening to myself on the other side of a vast tunnel. Did I want to know this answer? Know how much Edward was really keeping from me?

"Edward's father died almost fifteen years ago in a murder-suicide, Bella. His mother, Elizabeth Cullen-Masen, was killed by his own father's hand."

* * *

~ Edward ~

"Tell me again how it goes," Emmett said, his brow furrowed in concentration. I exchanged a sly smirk with Jasper, then turned to tell Emmet the riddle once more.

"A cowboy rode in to town on Friday. He left two days later on Friday. How did he do it?"

I almost laughed when Emmett held out his hands, beginning to count off the days of the week on his fingers. This had always been a classic form of entertainment, seeing which of us could mess around with Emmett's intellect the most. It had been a slow day at the station, our chores and errands done early on in the shift, so we had to fill our time some way. After all, I had approximately eighteen hours before I'd get off shift and meet Bella at her place for breakfast. It had been way too long since I'd seen her, and my anxiety was gnawing on my nerves. Emmett turned to me again.

"Are you sure he arrived on Friday? I mean, that makes no fucking sense if he left again two days later on the same fucking day of the week. I think you're saying it wrong."

"It's a riddle, idiot," Jasper said on a chuckle. "Of course he's saying it right. You just have to figure out the key."

"There is no fucking key!" he screamed, slamming his fist onto the table and making the plates from supper clatter noisily. "There are seven fucking days in a week, then it repeats. It's a cycle, man. There's no trick or key to breaking a cycle. It makes no gad damn sense!" Jasper and I snorted.

Chief Banner was sitting at the end of the table, resolutely silent as was his custom when we got going like this. Sometimes he'd offer his two cents, but for the most part, he'd just let us go at it while he stayed stoically silent like an obliging parent.

"Tell me the answer, then, if it is just so damn obvious you two shitheads find it amusing."

"No," I replied with a laugh. "You have to figure it out on your own."

"That could take forever!" he exclaimed, his expression a mix of frustration and exasperation. Jasper and I laughed out loud.

"Do you want me to say it again?" I asked, my tone playful.

"No, fucker. I want you to tell me the damn answer!"

"You're not going to even guess?" Jasper asked him, acting like he was ashamed that Emmett wanted to give up our little game.

"I have no guess 'cause there is no answer!" he exclaimed, his face turning a deep shade of red as his frustration grew. Jasper and I doubled over in laughter, which only made things worse for Emmett. I could've sworn I heard Captain Banner let out a low chuckle too at Emmett's last outburst.

Our mirth was interrupted when the tones went off, signalling that we had a call.

_Station Ten, report to 3124 States street. Suspected home robbery with medical aide. Approach with caution. SPD en route._

"No," Emmett protested, shaking his head adamantly. "I refuse to leave until one of you mother fuckers tells me the damn answer." He sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, completely serious with his intention to stay put. The rest of us rose from the table and headed toward the truck, taking a few more bites of food to tide us over.

"Let's go, McCarty," Captain Banner told him seriously, gesturing toward the truck with a no-bullshit attitude.

"But Captain..." Emmett said as he rose from his seat, making his way toward us with Banner trailing close behind.

We pulled on our MA jackets and turnout boots, preparing to leave all while Emmett continued to bitch. It was times like these that made the whole thing fun, because now he'd have to stew with the question for a while, making it all the more entertaining when we returned to the station, preparing to hear Emmett's poorly concocted theories on the matter.

Jasper turned the engine while the Captain hit the lights. Grabbing my headset so I could hear the details of the job and listen to the Captain's instructions, I fastened my seat belt, then checked the medical bag to make sure it was properly stocked. As the large station dock door clattered open, Jasper grabbed the radio to transmit our response.

"Station ten responding to States Street. Aware of caution. Will await for SPD all clear."

"Don't think you guys aren't answering my damn question," Emmett declared as Jazz pulled out of the station, his voice reverberating through the headset in a petulant tone. "It's still a drive to the scene."

"Not now, McCarty," the Capitan stated bluntly. "It won't take long for the clearance, so listen up. We go in two ahead. Cullen, you take the lead. Assess any victims and be the immediate triage for needed aide. McCarty, treat the heavily wounded. Whitlock correspond with the buses for ETA and equipment needed. I will coordinate with SPD for a scenario rundown."

We nodded in understanding, preparing to arrive on scene. Along the way, Emmett continued to bitch about us not telling him the answer. Sick of hearing him complaining, I removed my headset which resulted in Emmett flipping me off in protest.

As we drove, my thoughts wandered to Bella. The concert idea couldn't have turned out so damn well, and believe me, I was more than relieved that had been the case. Looking back, I thought that the night we'd celebrated her father's memory was a turning point for our relationship. We'd always been smitten with each other, but it was at that point that I thought Bella really started to let me past her carefully guarded walls.

I knew she kept a lot of things about her father's death harbored inside her. Part of me wanted to be let in. The other part of me knew how sacred her emotions were, and how hard it was to share that part of her.

I knew from experience that once those walls were built, it practically took an act of God to bring them down. My own were still standing firm and erect, with no chance of shaking any time soon. Perhaps that made me a bumbling idiot, a hypocrite, but I didn't care. What Bella didn't know, wouldn't hurt her, right?

After all, it was my cross to bear, my legacy to uphold. I knew she wouldn't understand my obligations. Not the ones to my family, the Cullen legacy. I didn't give two shits about that. But the duty I had to _them_... the ones who left me behind.

We pulled up about a block away from the scene, stopping at the side of the road where we would wait until clearance to proceed was granted by the police. In situations such as these, Fire would usually be the first to arrive. But we couldn't pull up on scene until the police department had secured the area. It could be extremely frustrating, especially when we could see a victim on the ground suffering as they waited for help. Our hands were tied, but for the most part, the SPD was not far behind us.

"This is Captain Banner, Station Ten, responding to States Street suspected armed robbery with victims down. Arrived one block from scene, awaiting all clear. What is Blue ETA?"

_Blue approximately five minutes away. Two cars en route. _The dispatcher relayed, giving us a good estimation of when we could pull on scene.

"Okay, Cullen, prepare the med bag. McCarty, quit pouting and get your head in the game," Captain Banner ordered. His words made me glance at Emmett whose expression was like a classic petulant child. I laughed whole-heartedly, making Emmett even more pissed off.

Finally, it seemed the Captain had enough. "For god's sake, McCarty! The damn horse's name is Friday!"

Jasper and I looked at Emmett as he stared at the Captain blank-faced.

"What the hell kind of shit answer is that?" Emmett proclaimed heatedly after several moments, making the three of us laugh hysterically.

It took only a few minutes more for the police to reply and give us the all-clear. We found two victims in the home: a man and a woman. The couple were the owners of the home, and had just returned from an evening mass service while they were being robbed. Being caught off guard, one of the three burglars opened fire, shooting the man in the chest and catching his wife in a ricochet.

Several neighbors had gathered outside as we stabilized the injured. The cops secured the area, interviewing those few who had heard or seen anything out of the ordinary. Once the bus pulled up, Emmett and I loaded the husband onto the back, sending him off to the hospital first since his injuries were more grave than his wife's. I was heading back to the wife to help assist her onto the next ambulance when I first heard his voice.

"I need to talk to you," Jacob Black's irritating voice said from behind me, and I turned to see his tense face glaring at me.

"I'm working right now, Detective Black," I told him, turning to leave him. I really wasn't ready to put up with his questions, and I knew he had plenty of then, all of them involving my Bella.

"They don't need you," he told me bitterly, and I looked to see Jasper and Emmett loading the last victim into the ambulance. I sighed heavily, knowing that I really didn't have an excuse to get out of this conversation.

"What can I help you with?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. Although I'd been quite adamant that Jacob's feelings for Bella were more romantic than not, Bella was stubbornly sure that he was a good friend to her and nothing more. If that was the case, I wanted to at least try and be civil with him. She was important to me, and I planned to be in her life indefinitely.

"Are you still seeing Bella?" His question caught me off-guard. Had she not been talking to him then? That little discovery had me smiling wide inside, and I guessed that some of my humor played out on my expression, for Black became stiff and defensive at my reaction.

"I know what you are, Cullen," he sneered, cursing my name with a black disdain that had me boiling inside. "I won't let you hurt her."

"I'd never hurt her, Jacob," I told him earnestly. "I love her too much to hurt her."

His mouth opened like he wanted to reply to my words, but they seemed to be stuck in his throat. His expression hardened into one of anger and shock, and for the first time, I was absolutely sure that my suspicions of his feelings for Bella were correct. He looked like a man in pain, a man caught in a fury of jealousy and heartache, and part of me felt sorry for the guy.

"Cullen, let's go!" Captain Banner called to me, pulling my attention away from Jacob. I saw the guys loading back into the truck, both Emmett and Jasper giving me a questioning look as they saw who I was talking to.

I turned back to Jacob. "Look, I don't want to fight with you. Bella told me about Rachel, and I know it will be hard for you to believe, but I never meant to hurt her. I had no idea she felt so strongly for me."

I heard the engine roar to life behind me, ripping into the relative silence around us. "I really do want to talk about this," I told him as I started backing toward the truck. Jacob didn't reply, and I really didn't expect him to. I knew that it was probably going to be a lengthy discussion in the future, one I was not looking forward to participating in, but I'd do anything for Bella, even if that meant putting an old feud to rest with my evil nemesis.

We only got up a couple more times that shift, but each call was gruesome and extremely debilitating, leaving me a mess by the time I was able to finally pack up my stuff to leave. I was really looking forward to my morning with Bella, hoping to get some quality time with her before my body completely gave out on me.

As I packed my gym bag that morning, I saw my phone flashing that I had a message. Thinking it was Bella, I picked it up and hit the number that automatically dialed my voice box.

"Edward, this is your grandmother. I hate to bother you, dear, but I really need to see you this morning. Please meet me at the house at nine. I hope to see you." With that, she hung up.

I was shocked to hear from her on several levels. First, my grandmother had hardly spoken a word to me in twelve years. She'd been locked in a depression that she rarely came out of, only for brief periods to keep up her social obligations and charitable events. Second, my grandmother had never called me on the phone. Never...

I knew that what she had to say to me was of great importance, so I called Bella and explained, asking her to postpone breakfast until a little later. Being the totally awesome, completely understanding girlfriend she was, Bella quickly agreed, saying she'd be waiting for me when I got there.

I quickly showered and changed into the only pant suit I had at the station. I learned a long time ago to keep one in my locker room just for an instance like this. My grandfather would never forgive me coming into his home in a tee shirt and jeans, no matter whether I'd just gotten off shift or not.

It was precisely at nine o'clock when I rang the doorbell, waiting for the butler to answer the elaborate door of the Cullen mansion. I was shown into the library and instructed to wait for my family to appear. It always seemed ridiculous to me how I was made to wait for them like I was seeking an audience with the fucking queen of England, but I bit my tongue, looking around the vast space to find something to occupy my time.

I saw a baby grand piano sitting beneath the large bay window, and felt a pain in my heart I hadn't felt in many years.

Slowly, I made my way toward it, hesitant yet vastly curious if I still acquired the gift she'd given me in my youth: the gift my mother had passed on.

I lifted the heavy lid that covered the keys and ran my hand gently across the top of them. It wasn't as big as my mother's, or as exquisite, but the smell of the wires and feel of the ivories under my fingers brought a gentle tear to my eye as her image came flashing into my mind.

I'd spent many afternoons lying under her grand piano, listening intently as my mother composed. She was so talented and gifted, her music an artwork. I could sometimes still hear her soft melodies in my dreams, hear her gentle voice humming along to her tune. I missed her so much in those moments, and it seemed at those times that the tightly built walls I'd constructed were made of nothing more than straw.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was sitting in front of the baby grand, my fingers finding the keys to one of my mother's most famous pieces. The notes came back to me like hushed words to a memorized poem, intricate and precise, precious and sacred. I closed my eyes and just played, letting the walls around me crumble to the ground alongside the tears streaming down my face.

With the final note I let out a shuddering sigh. It was with a heavy heart as I listened to the light sound reverberate around the silent room, disappearing into the walls along with her memory. Like the elusive ghost my family had made her memory, she disappeared from me, and I felt those strong walls formulate themselves around me with a steady resolve.

"I always thought that she taught you to play so perfectly," a soft voice said from behind me, and I turned to see my grandmother standing there, watching me sit at the piano with tears in her eyes.

"She was a great teacher," I replied, giving her a warm smile that seemed to communicate more to her than simple words could. In that moment we shared heartache, understanding, and a brief convergence of love that seemed to transcend death itself. And just as quickly as it came, the moment disappeared as her features returned to her stony mask.

"Come. Your grandfather awaits us..."

I followed my grandmother down the hall, questioning her motives for inviting me here. Part of me hoped she wouldn't use her sway with me to get me into some situation with my family, perhaps pushing me into the same situation my grandfather had been calling me about for over two months now. But she was a Cullen, after all — a fact that became blazingly apparent as I walked into the formal sitting room to see my grandfather sitting on a couch, deep in conversation with a man I didn't think I'd see again for some time to come.

There on the Cullen's rich leather furniture sat Eleazar Denali, his daughter Tanya right by his side.

"Hello Eddie," she purred. "It's been a while since I've heard you play."

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**Anyone see that coming? So, what should Bella do? I'd love to hear your opinions. So, I'm so close to flying over 600 reviews. I think I'd die happy if I got one chapter with over 50 reviews. So, please send me your love. Let me know how you think the story is going. **

**Reviewers get a preview for the next chapter, and it's almost done. Update within a week!**


	26. Chapter 25 A Proposal

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

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_I have to apologize to my readers, both for the long update and the HUGE mistake I made in the last chapter. Only a few of you caught it, but Bella did know about the death of Edward's parents. She just didn't know the circumstances behind it because he said he couldn't tell her. So, I profusely apologize for the blunder... and it has been fixed. Guess that's what I get for writing three stories at the same time..._

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Chapter 25 - The Proposal

~ Bella ~

I felt like my world had been flipped on its axis, leaving me hanging in limbo. I couldn't begin to understand what Jake was saying to me. Edward's birth father, a murderer? How could any of it be true?

But at the same time my mind doubted his words, something deep inside me knew them to be true. Edward had told me that they'd died when he was young but couldn't talk about the circumstances behind their deaths. At the time I thought that it could perhaps be something dark and tragic, but nothing like this. Still, I had to challenge it. My mind had to fight through the logic and search for fallacies for my own sanity.

"How do you know this?" I asked, fishing for more details.

"I'm a detective for the SPD, Bella. I've known for some time now. The Cullens paid a pretty big price to keep it hushed up, but I came across the file shortly after that asshole dumped my sister."

"I'm sure that information was classified," I responded, the accusation coming out automatically. Perhaps it was a form of evasion; maybe I hoped he'd lose focus on the topic and spare my mind the thousand tormenting questions flowing through it, but I wasn't that lucky on both fronts.

"Did you hear what I said, Bella?" Jake spat back in retort, his tone disbelieving. "Your boyfriend's been lying this whole time! He has murder in his legacy, Bella, and I know from experience that those kinds of thing are embedded in someone's DNA."

"Edward would never hurt me, Jacob," I replied sternly, a little taken aback by the confidence in my tone, but sure of my words nonetheless.

"He's lied to you, Bella!" Jake proclaimed, his voice taking on that panicked quality it'd had before when he'd first dropped this heavy bombshell.

"I know he has in your eyes, but all he's really done was not divulge the specific details behind it all," I told him firmly. I could see that Jake wanted to argue against my explanation, so I hurried on. "This is something we will have to deal with together. But Jake, that was not your business to tell. Edward told me that his parents died under suspicious circumstances. And if he couldn't talk about what those were, than he has a good reason."

"Unbelievable..." Jacob threw his hands in the air in exasperation, turning away from me as if the resolve in my expression was something he couldn't bring himself to look at any longer.

In a span of several minutes, I watched Jake stand there silently away from me, his shoulders tense as if a heavy burden sat upon them. I hated seeing him like that, and my mind started to formulate ways I could make this easier for him to understand. But how did one explain love? How could all the intricacies of forever be described in detail to one who was not a part of it? I didn't have an answer, and somehow, I didn't think that would be enough for Jake.

"I don't get you, Bella," he told me, his back turned. "Your loyalty has always been something I'd admired. You cherish your friendships fiercely and love just as intensely. But how could you continue to give yourself to a man who'd lie to you about something so important?"

He turned to face me then, placing his dark, piercing gaze on me. His eyes seemed to bore into mine, like they were trying to see into my soul. Suddenly, I didn't think this conversation was about my relationship with Edward any longer.

"Why did you kiss me, Jake?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it. He laughed humorlessly, his gaze leaving mine and travelling to a spot just above my head. The fact that he couldn't look at me as he answered made my stomach lurch.

"Does it matter?" he asked without meeting my eyes.

"Yes," I told him firmly. I saw a sparked of hope flash in his expression as his gaze returned to me, so I hurried to clarify. "But only in regards to our friendship, Jake. I have always loved you as a brother, my best friend. But I have to know if you feel more for me."

"Are you really that blind?" he asked me sharply, and the bite in his tone made me automatically take a step back. "I've been in love with you since the day I met you, Bella. I knew you were it for me the first time I saw you trip on air, literally. Everything about you Bella makes me heat inside." He beat his chest, right over his heart at his words. The action seemed desperate, almost maniacal, and for the first time in my life I looked at Jacob Black in a whole new light.

He looked like a desperate man, torn and tormented with desire. His eyes were wide, his posture curved under some unseen burden. Jacob was nothing like the smiling, handsome, carefree man I'd known for so long. He was changed, and the thought of my complete naivety at his affections being the main purpose for his condition broke something inside me.

"Jake..." I said on a whisper, hot tears streaming down my face. He took a step closer, probably in order to comfort me, but I put both hands up to stop his advance. "Don't, please..."

But Jake was unrelenting, and he grabbed one of my outstretched hands, his fingertips a light caress.

"I'd never hurt you, Bella," he told me, his words poison to my befuddled mind. "I'd never lie to you. I'd always put you first. I'd be open and honest with you. I'd cherish you..."

I remained still as he slowly closed the distance between us, silent sobs ripping in my throat.

"Haven't I always been there for you? Haven't I always cared for you, even when I watched you date those pathetic men? They could never take care of you as I can, Bella."

I cringed at his words, not wanting them to be true because countless visions rushed through my mind. Memories of when I'd come home from a date, sitting upon my bed and laughing with Jake as we recounted another horrible night I'd experienced. He was my best friend, my confidant, and now he was ruining that with his professions of love.

"Jacob," I said warningly as I felt his warm body step closer to mine, his other hand snaking around my waist to hold me in a light embrace.

"Be mine, my beauty. I will always keep you safe..."

~ Edward ~

"What are you doing here?" I growled at Tanya's smirking face. I was angry, incensed.

Why the fuck were the Denalis here? What did my grandmother have to do with all of this? And why did Tanya look almost triumphant as she watched me fight to comprehend.

"Sit down, Edward," my grandfather told me, his tone sharp and emotionless like usual. I glanced at him quickly, taking in the scenario before me. The way he was situated on the couch, the Denalis on one side with a wide scatter of paperwork between them and formal expressions on the patriarchs' faces, made my mind automatically think they were congregated for a business purpose. Almost like some kind of...merger.

"Edward, you are just in time. I was about to go over the finer details of the arrangement," Eleazar Denali said in a business-type manner, reaching for a particular stack of papers laid out before him. "Like I said, Caius, Edwards grades are very impressive — top marks on all of his exams. He was also leading in GPA his class before he...well, you know."

The two men exchanged a sympathetic glance, their words expressing enough that neither needed to finish the thought out loud.

Were they talking about me?

I caught a glimpse of the papers held tightly in Eleazar's hand and saw a small flash of a symbol I recognized in the top right-hand corner. It looked like a University of Washington letterhead, and the pattern that followed resembled that of an academic transcript.

_What the..._

"I've spoken to the head instructors, and they will take Edward's field experience as a Paramedic for the Fire Department as part of his credits. He will only have one year of Internship, and if he passes his boards and clinical time, he will be accepted into the residency. Now, of course, the University will expect a fairly large donation, but I think both our families can contract a new wing to the library and all will be settled."

"Of course," my grandfather replied firmly, making a note on a pad of paper he had before him. The way the both of them were discussing my future as if I had no say had me furious inside, but my mind was working so frantically; I remained mute as the two parties finished their negotiations.

"Now, the engagement itself needs to be handled with kid gloves. Due to their very public breakup at the Gala, Victoria needs to make sure that the media deciphers it as just a lover's quarrel and nothing more. Publicity will be the key here."

At his blasé statement, my head shot up, anger and fury marring my features.

_What engagement? They didn't expect me to..._

But when I saw the evil harpy almost seem like she was busting at the seams with victory, I knew that they did...

Tanya was watching me with a wry smile on her face. She had on a tight skirt that hugged her legs. Her shirt was low cut, leaving an ample amount of cleavage bare. She looked like she was trying hard to be enticing. Despite her efforts, to me she looked like nothing more than a two bit whore, being auctioned off to a richer family by her own father.

It was when she brought her hand up to rest on her knee that a glint of light caught my eyes. My vision zeroed in to her left hand where my mother's beautiful engagement ring sat dutifully on her slender finger. My eyes flashed to hers to see humor and triumph. I felt my insides churn, my head becoming dizzy.

This meeting was about a merger... of two families.

"And what of his new fling?" I heard Caius ask in a curious tone, his pen scribbling furiously on his notepad.

"It can be said that Edward had a small affair with the girl, but that Tanya forgave him and welcomed him back home —"

_That is it!_

"No," I said firmly, surprised at the calm tone of my voice.

"Edward, sit down," my grandfather growled, then turned back toward Eleazar as if I hadn't spoken out of turn.

"I will not have any part of this," I told him, taking a step back toward the door.

"Any part of what?" Eleazar Denali asked, his expression a hard mask of formality. His daughter sat next to him, watching me with unbridled amusement. "This is for the best, Edward."

"Absolutely not!" I roared, surprising myself with my boldness.

"Edward you will sit down and we will discuss this," my grandfather ordered, but I was no longer caring about anything other than getting out of that hell hole and making my way to Bella.

_Bella..._

How was I ever going to explain this fucking disaster to her?

"Edward, just hear your grandfather out," I heard my grandmother say, and for the first time in my life, I was angry with her.

"You knew of this?" I asked her, searing my livid gaze through her empathetic face. She didn't respond, and it was all the answer I needed.

"Just come sit down and talk with us, Eddie," Tanya's voice crooned, and I turned to see her watching me with a sly smile.

"No," I told her firmly. It was my answer to all this bullshit, but I wanted to address one fucking aspect at a time. "There is no way in hell I'm going to go through with any of this."

"You will do what your family requires of you," Caius answered sternly.

"I'm in a relationship, and I love her," I told him, and at my words, I saw Tanya's posture stiffen. "I am planning on making her part of my life for a very long time."

"End it," Caius said bluntly, his tone unwavering.

"Absolutely not," I chuckled mirthlessly. "You don't get to dictate how I chose to live my life."

"You are a Cullen, and with that name comes honor bound duties that you have to uphold."

"I am not a Cullen," I replied quickly, surprising myself once more. "I am a Masen. I owe this family nothing."

The anger in Caius' expression was sharp and ferocious. "You are never to speak that name in my home!"

"Edward," Tanya warned, her tone sounding concerned, but when I looked at her, I saw that she was biting her upper lip to keep herself from laughing. She thought this whole damn thing was some kind of comical parody, where she'd end up delivering the fucking punch line.

_Well, fuck her_.

And what pissed me off the most was that Tanya knew how much I hated the way my grandfather had treated me, the way he'd pretended that my parents never existed at all. As if I was some kind of distant cousin to the Cullen clan, only accepting me when I was needed for something like this utter fuckery. She'd taken that knowledge and used it like a knife, turning it in my back and laughing at my pain.

It was in that moment that I truly understood why I could never bring myself to love that woman. I thought I had at one point in time, but knowing the kind of love I had with Bella, it was small and empty in comparison.

The way she was so sure of herself and the outcome of today had me burning inside, and I felt a wave of anger roar through me. Before I could stop myself, my mouth opened and everything I'd kept inside of me — what Tanya had done, how my grandparents treated me, the fact my father's name had been like a curse for so long — came pouring out of me.

"That name was never the problem in this home," I spat indignantly. "You are, and your insentient need to control this family."

"Edward, please..." My grandmother took a step closer to me, her arms held out in comfort. I turned my hateful gaze on her.

"And here I thought that you were just mourning your daughter's loss all these years, and that's why you couldn't bring yourself to love me as you once had. Turns out, you were just under his thumb the entire time, waiting to strike."

"Do not speak to her in that tone," Caius said calmly, and if I didn't know better, I would've thought he actually gave a damn about the disrespect I was showing my grandmother, but I knew better; he was only reprimanding me to save face in front of the Denalis.

Well, I'd make it quite clear how completely fucked this family really was. And just for gits and shiggles, I'd make sure Eleazar Denali knew exactly what kind of daughter he had.

"I would not go back to that two-timing tramp if my life depended on it," I told them bluntly, my crass words making Tanya red with fury.

"How dare you, Edward?" she seethed at me. "Turning around _your _infidelity on me?"

"_My _infidelity? Is that what it's called when I come home to find the pool boy's dick buried deep into your diseased-infested pussy?"

"Edward!" Tanya screamed as she stood from the couch abruptly; she turned to her father with genuine tears in her eyes. "Papa, I swear. I don't know what he's talking about."

"Oh really? Well, let me give you a play by play," I continued mercilessly, not giving a damn that ol' Denali looked like he was about to have a damn stroke at the news his beloved princess was fucking the help.

"Edward, that is enough of the lies, this ends now." My grandfather had the nerve to interrupt my tirade.

"The lies? Oh, I've just begun..."

"This will not happen in my house," Caius proclaimed, his tone dropping to a steady, soothing level so as to change the intensity of the situation.

"It surprises me how you can sit there and plan out my life like it was some kind of boardroom acquisition when you cannot even control the actions of your eldest son. That's why we're here, isn't it? So we can plan this whole fairytale wedding as a rouse to hide the fact that Aro's whole family is a disgrace."

"Edward..." Caius said warningly.

"No, fuck it!" I heard my grandmother gasp at my words. "I'm tired of beating around the damn bush. So what? Because my father was who he was that gives you the automatic write to fuck with my life? I wasn't raised in this damn family for a reason, Caius. My father never wanted me around this bullshit."

"Your father was a fool," he told me cruelly.

"Yes, he was, for many reasons, in fact. The biggest, it seemed, was listening to you. Letting your mind-fuck get to him."

"I don't know what you are talking about," he tried to argue, but I could see him begin to barricade himself behind the wall of oblivion he'd erected long ago; the one that kept him safe in his delusion that as head of the infamous Cullen family, he could manipulate everything within his reach.

"You bullied him!" I screamed, my temper exploding with all the pain and frustration coming to the service. "You made him feel like he wasn't good enough. You tortured him until he couldn't take it anymore."

"Your father was a pathetic excuse for a man," Caius bellowed, his patience becoming non-existent. "His failures were his and his alone..."

"And the fact that you had acquired his company from beneath his feet had nothing to do with his downward spiral, does it? The fact that you embarrassed him publicly and financially because he wouldn't bow down to the almighty Cullen..."

"What would you know about it?" Caius asked with a humorless chuckle. "You were only nine years old at his death."

"But that doesn't mean that I didn't understand. That I didn't hear him and my mother arguing in hushed tones about all the bullshit you put them through. In my opinion, you are as much responsible for their deaths as he is."

"You know nothing," Cauis spat, his hateful features making him seem twice as old as he was. "You were a child..."

"A child that was taken and purposefully raised away from you by YOUR OWN SON! Don't you think there was a good reason Carlisle took me away from all of this. He didn't want me influenced by your pathetic games and manipulation the way you did his sister's husband."

"Carlisle is arrogant and foolish," Caius answered, brushing away my accusation as if it were a pesky fly. "He indulges you; always has. But now, he agrees with me. It is time you stood up and took your rightful place of honor in this family."

"I know my father, Caius. The only part of this crock of shit he'd agree to is me going back to medical school. He'd never approve of you pushing a marriage onto me, especially since he knows how much I love Bella," I told him with full confidence.

"You don't love Bella, Edward," Tanya said firmly, a catch in her tone. "You love me. Now stop this foolishness so we can start planning for the wedding."

"Don't you get it! I am not marrying you. There is nothing in this damn world that could make me do that. Ever."

"Including your complete disinheritance, Edward?" Cauis' voice was calm, cool, with no emotion. Not like I expected there to be any.

"You think I give a damn about that?" I laughed, truly laughed at his complete ignorance.

"When have I EVER cared about your money or your name?" I asked through my mirth. "I hardly ever dig into my trust fund, Caius. I make enough in my career to support my lifestyle the way it is. I couldn't care less if you disown me. The way I see it, that's one headache less I'd have to deal with."

There was silence for several moments, and I couldn't tell if they were just preparing their next threat, or if what I'd said truly shocked them enough to keep them quiet.

It was my grandmother who spoke first, "Edward, we only want what is best for you."

"Well, I don't believe _that_ at all," I told her honestly. "In what capacity do you believe it to be in my best interest to quit my a career that I love, break up with the girl of my dreams, enter into a loveless marriage with a slut, and commit myself into a life that seems like a prison from where I'm standing?"

"Sometimes we have to do what we must, Edward," she answered me furtively, shooting a quick glance in my grandfather's direction. I laughed.

"You are acting like you're goddamn royalty! You people think so damn highly of yourselves, it's comical."

"Edward, we are as close to American royalty as there is," Eleazar answered in a somber tone, like he had the weight of the damn world on his shoulders as a great king of old.

"No, we are not!" I proclaimed through a snort. "Perhaps in your own convoluted circle of elitists, where everyone else scratches each other's asses to proclaim it smells like roses. Do you know that not one damn person on my squad but those that know me personally give a flying fuck that my last name is Cullen. One time someone asked me if I was related to that one family that was always in the news, and you know what I told them? I said no. Flat out lied. And why would that be? Because I didn't want it jeopardizing _my _reputation. Get that shit."

I was in hysterics at this point, made worse when I caught an expression from my grandmother that was almost forlorn, as if to say "they are only commoners, Edward."

"I fail to see where this is funny," Eleazar replied, looking at me as if I had the Ebola virus or some flesh eating bacteria. I laughed even harder at that.

"That filthy whore has turned you into a deviant, Edward," Tanya said, taking a small step toward me as if she were approaching a madman. Her words stopped my mirth in its tracks, making my voice hard and stern as I told the woman I'd once planned on marrying exactly why she would never hold that place again.

"And that's where you will forever be out of my league, my dear. The fact that you can sit there all indignant, judging Bella like she's beneath you is ludicrous. She has worked harder than any person in this room. She has suffered loss and disappointment in her life which none of you can comprehend. None of you, especially someone as spoiled and rotten as you are."

I walked toward her, my eyes burning into her so she could see the bare and rawest truth – there was not on iota of love in my heart for her. I couldn't even say honestly that I liked the woman. Everything I'd felt for her once upon a time was laid out barren and dried like a wad of spit on the Sahara desert. I reached toward her brusquely, taking her left hand in my palm with force. As Eleazar scoffed indignantly, I ripped my mother's ring from that harlot's finger quickly, despite Tanya's efforts to pull her hand away. Once it was securely in my fist, I stepped away from her, giving her my own version of a triumphant smile that I'd obtained my prized possession out of her evil grip.

"Edward..." my grandmother chastised, but I was done. I felt nothing, only blank emptiness.

I needed to get out of there. It was just too much utter nonsense for me to deal with. I had a gorgeous woman at home waiting for me, and I was missing my morning with her for this fuckery.

I was out!

"Edward, do not leave this house!"

"Go ahead and disown me," I told Caius without looking back, my voice as boisterous as I could make it. "I do not care in the least. Maybe when I marry Bella, I can change my last name to Swan."

With a loud guffaw and my head held high, I left the Cullen Mansion, and did not bat an eyelash or tear at my final farewell.

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**I've spent the month of November writing finishing this story. Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to share it with you. I have the best readers in the fandom!**

**Follow me on Twitter ~ emilybowdn**


	27. Chapter 26 Regrets

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

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Chapter 26 Regrets

~ Bella ~

There are turning points in life that everyone has to face, no matter how reluctant and daunting they may seem. Some people address them head on, taking it for what it is — one of those pesky little challenges of life. Others like to stick their head in the sand and pretend the problem doesn't exist as to avoid heartache or turmoil, but the change they're trying to ignore happens nevertheless.

Hiding just takes away the chance to respond; the avoiders lose that small opportunity to control what little aspect they can, no matter how minute it might be.

I had done both at one time or another in my life, been brave and reclusive when faced with change.

With my father's death I was guilty of both.

Looking back on that time, I blamed a lot of my grief on my mother and her choice to take me away from him, but now, I knew that I regretted going with her. I had been given the choice, and I picked the wrong path.

Regret.

It was a strong word used so flippantly in life. I'd heard people say many times they had regrets. 'Oh, I should have bought that dress' or 'I shouldn't have eaten that doughnut'. Those were insignificant regrets, the ones that in the end didn't really matter at all because they wouldn't affect the big picture. Those trite little mistakes were only hiccups in the road map of life. They didn't determine who we became.

My compunctions seemed to be way more complex than that.

Regret...

I should have chosen him, my father, then I would've been with him in his final days. I could've taken care of him, held his hand as he left this life for the next. I would've made sure he knew how much I loved him and that he was such an instrumental figure in my life. That without him, I wouldn't be who I was today.

Regret...

I should have stood up to my mother, made her see that her selfishness was driving my father further away. She seemed so desperate for him to be the person she thought that he should be that she pushed him into his life of seclusion where he'd stay hidden away from her judgements and critiques. I should have told her that her choices before and after his death were driving me away as well. If I had, perhaps she wouldn't have left him in the first place. Maybe I wouldn't have left her in the end.

Regret...

I should have seen the signs of Jacob's feelings for me, recognized it before it blew up into the huge cluster fuck it was now. Maybe I could've saved some semblance of our friendship; maybe I wouldn't feel like I'd lost a brother more than a beloved friend.

After Jacob's declaration, I was stunned into silence. My mouth was frozen but my mind was running through every scenario of our past relationship, trying to see every aspect of it with new eyes.

Had I led him on? Was I responsible for leaving Jacob the broken, distraught man who left my house that day?

"I don't feel the same way, Jacob," I had told him firmly, pushing my palms against his chest to halt his approach toward me. I knew what he was trying to do; by holding me in his arms he was hoping that he could radiate his warmth into me as he'd always done, showing me how deeply he felt for me. He was trying to give me that same comfort of love he'd given me so many times before, but now it was tainted with the knowledge that his motivations were different. I'd always thought he'd comforted me as a friend, the brother I'd never had, my sun. But his reasons for doing so were not what I'd thought, but at the time, I was under the blissful enthralment of ignorance. Now, I knew better, and it killed me inside to think of what that meant for our friendship.

"You haven't given it a chance," he told me, and the hurt in his tone jabbed the knife deeper into my heart.

"Give what a chance, Jake? Us? Feelings for you that I can never return?"

"But you can, Bella. If you'd open your heart to me, let me in, I know I can give you what you need." He was pleading with me like a starving man begging for a meal. It tore me apart.

"I can't give that to you, Jacob. Friendship, yes. Loyalty, yes. Love, yes, but only as a friend. I've given my heart away, Jacob. Edward has everything that I am. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. I need him, Jacob. And he needs me."

"I don't believe that, Bella," he told me in exasperation, turning away from me as his shoulder hunched under the weight of my statement. My rejection.

"Please, Jacob. Don't make me do this. Can't we just go back to what we were before? You've always been there for me, Jake. I don't want to lose that; our friendship."

"I could never go back to that, knowing that you have chosen him. He is an asshole, Bella. He is selfish and self-righteous. And I am really surprised that you'd choose someone like that to spend your time with, let alone give your heart to. I thought you had more integrity than that."

"You don't know him, Jacob. Don't say things that you can't take back."

"I know enough," he spat indignantly.

"Really? So tell me what has he done that is so damn terrible you'd make me feel this horrible for loving the man?"

Jacob scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air as he began swearing and storming about the room. I watched him, perplexed. I'd never seen anyone act so...out of control. Not only was his temper high, but the words coming out of his mouth didn't seem to make any sense to me.

"What do I have to do, Bella? Please, tell me. I don't get you. One moment I can stand you. The next, I want to kiss you an inch away from death." His words frightened me.

"Jacob, I think it's best that you leave..." My voice sounded far away, my expression an emotionless mask. I knew I faced a life altering decision. It had been me and Jake versus the world for so long. But a bigger part of it was the common thread we both had in our pasts. Our fathers were best friends, and I was devastated that I felt Jacob slipping away from me because it awakened those wounds that had hardly closed at losing my father. As I watched Jacob leave my home in a fury of anger and rejection, the ache was so painful and familiar that it crushed me inside. But this time, my loss was tainted with my own mistakes and failures, to both myself and to Jake.

Regret.

I should have told Edward about the confrontation with Jacob, but three weeks had passed since that day and I'd yet to say a word. I kept my mouth shut, and for the life of me, I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason I did.

I didn't want to disrupt our happiness? That wasn't true, because despite my efforts to paint the picture of serenity, there was some odd tension between us. We weren't necessarily _unhappy;_ it was just as if we were walking on glass around each other, not really knowing what was going on with the other. The cocoon of new love we'd wrapped ourselves in seemed to be unravelling, and I'd thought it was too soon in our relationship for the novelty to have worn off already. There was something else going on.

As far as Edward was concerned, I was confused about why he was all of a sudden distant. He'd come home from his grandfather's house quiet and introspective. I wanted to ask him about what had happened, but figured he'd come to me if he wanted to share, so I left well enough alone.

That wasn't exactly true, either.

In reality, I was afraid of the truth.

There were only a couple things in Edward's life I knew his grandfather held contention with. One was his chosen career, and the other one was his relationship with me. Edward had never come out and said it, but from what I knew of the man, Caius Cullen was a person who based his and his family's worth on outward appearances. I wasn't what they called a prize pony as far as girlfriends were concerned. I wasn't rich or a socialite princess. I was Isabella Swan — nothing extra special about that.

I didn't even know if his grandfather knew about me, to be honest. And I didn't know if I should be happy or upset about that fact. I knew Edward didn't give a damn about what his grandfather thought. He was never the one to seek his approval, although I knew deep down, he craved it just a like any little boy would. So for him to keep our relationship a secret from the Cullen patriarch wasn't really a surprise to me.

That being said, it also burnt a little bit that Edward wasn't screaming about our relationship from every roof top in Seattle, like I was. In comparison, I'd told everyone I knew about how happy I was with my new hot boyfriend. Even my own mother, who I'd spoken to maybe a handful of times every six months or so, knew we were dating. It was probably just because I was a chick - all emotional and sentimental - but still, the odd way things had been between us lately made me look at our relationship with a magnifying glass, seeing if I could find the fissures that needed fixing where ever they existed.

Rosalie and Alice were about ready to ream my ass. Of course I'd told them about Jacob, and both of them told me to be honest with Edward about it.

"Why? He's hiding something from me?"

"Oh that's right, Bella. Act like a spoiled little shit. Tit for tat, right? That attitude will be sure to keep your relationship intact." Alice told me mockingly, her eyes rolling dramatically as she stuffed her face with cheetos. We were sitting in the break room at work, playing another lively round of 'chastise Bella' once again. I sighed exasperatingly.

"It's not like that, Alice," I told her petulantly, ignoring the nagging throb in my gut that told me she was right. "It's obvious Edward has things on his mind. Telling him about Jake would only add more drama in his life that he doesn't need right now. His family is giving him enough stress. Besides, it wasn't that big of a deal."

"Wasn't that big of a deal?" Rosalie scoffed humourlessly. "Wasn't that big of a deal, she says. Somehow I'm sure that Edward would find the fact that his lover's former best friend stuck his tongue down his girl's throat, but hey, maybe he's a sharing type of guy..."

I silently glared at Rosalie, not wanting to play into her sarcastic antics. I was seething inside for several reasons, the least if which was the fact that Rose's snippy comment was dead on accurate.

"I don't know if this is the smart thing to do, Bella," Angela said, licking around her spoonful of yoghurt. "I think I'm going to have to agree with the girls on this one. You should tell him before he finds out about it in some other way."

"How would he find out about it?" I argued hotly, then continued before someone could answer my stupid question which had been more of a diversion tactic rather than a well-thoughtout inquiry. "Even if he did find out, nothing happened."

"And I suppose you'd be okay if Tanya came up to him, kissed him within an inch of his life, then declared her undying love, and he just decided not to tell you about it 'cause it was 'no big deal.'"

Rosalie's words literally painted dastardly pictures in my mind. It was as if I could see the evil harpy wrapping herself around Edward, planting wanton images in his thoughts and pulling him away from me with her silken promises.

As these sodded images flashed through my brain, I saw Rosalie looking at me with a satisfied smirk.

_Bitch... _

I glared at Rosalie over the brim of my soda can, the liquid sitting in my mouth as I kept my lips occupied with the fizzy contents as to not tell my nosey best friend to go fuck herself with her accurate and logical comparisons.

"Well, when you put it that way, why the hell haven't you told him, Bella?" Angela asked me as she turned and glared in my direction. "I would think he'd have a right to know."

_Oh sure, join her side..._

"I don't know, okay," I finally cried, breaking out of my feigned nonchalance and breaking down like the pathetic little girl I was. "I just don't know what he'll say, okay? I don't want to lose him or make more ripples in the water for us. He'd always seemed like some unattainable dream to me, and having him in my life now just seems like a miracle. When we are together, everything seems just so perfect. I haven't been this happy in a long ass time, and I don't want to jinx it. I'd be some kind of idiot to jeopardize something so great."

"But Bella," Alice replied, her tone soothing. She reached her hand out to run her fingers against the back of my hand in a calming gesture. "If he really loves you, there is no need to be scared. He'll listen and understand that it was Jacob who made the move, not you."

"It's not only that, Alice," I told her brusquely, wiping the tears from my lashes while trying not to smudge my mascara. I hated crying when I had makeup on. "I can tell that there is something wrong with him as well. If I tell him about Jacob, then I'm afraid I'll open up the flood gates, and then everything will come pouring out."

"That's a good thing, Bella," Rosalie told me seriously. I glanced at her quickly and saw the sincerity and concern in her eyes.

"How is that a good thing?"

"If you two are going to have a long term relationship, you both need to start communicating with each other openly and honestly," she replied with a firm tone. "If you just want one of those superficial relationships that's based on sex, then by all means, don't scratch the surface of your emotions. Keep things bottled inside until it can grow into a filthy beast and eat your relationship from within."

"You know he means more to me than just that, Rosalie," I told her with a bite. "I love him very much."

"And does he love you?" she asked with the same amount of petulance, her eyebrow raised. I was quiet for several moment, knowing that when I answered her question to the best of my ability, that she'd be able to confirm her theory with confidence and fortitude because it was back up with the absolute truth.

"Yes, Edward loves me..."

"Then, sweetheart, why are you worried about telling him?" Alice asked, her tone more gentle and understanding than Rosalie's. I turned to her to see that she was watching me with genuine concern, and in that moment, I loved both of my friends dearly. Not because they were with me for my sappy girlie moments, but because they both knew how to get me to open up. How to play off each other's strengths and weaknesses in order to reach me where I kept myself hidden away from the crushing emotions of loss and love.

"I want to tell him..." I began, fighting against the uncomfortable lump in my throat. "And I will... I just need to feel him out first, try and find out what's going on with him."

The truth was that if I really thought back to that day, weeding through all the Jacob bullshit, I could see that Edward was distant and distraught even then. He'd come to my home looking like someone had just ran over his cat. When I asked him if he was okay, he'd told me it had been a long night at work. Something about the damn Kings Building having their alarms ringing all night again. I didn't question it at the time because I knew he'd been tired before he went to his grandfather's, and they'd spend many nights running calls to the Kings Building.

But now that the ominous storm cloud residing above his head hadn't dissipated as of yet, I wasn't so confident that Edward was being one hundred percent honest with me that morning. He wasn't the type of man to let things get to him unless they were significant, and that mad me worry even more.

As the day progressed, my thoughts were preoccupied with questions about  
Edward, his grandfather, and how he'd react to what Jacob had done. Was it silly of me to be so elusive when it came to giving him the details of my life? For keeping something from him that would probably bother me if the roles were reversed?

Probably...

Definitely...

But how could I go about telling him now without making it a bigger issue than it really was.

I couldn't come up with one scenario that would turn out in my favor. I knew no matter which way I approached it, at this point, he was going to be pissed off at me for not telling him in the first place. I'd past that point where waiting to find the right words was no longer a valid excuse for my silence.

On the other hand, I knew he was keeping something from me too. He couldn't get that angry with me without pointing four fingers back in his direction.

It had been a long day, and a part of me was hoping I'd get a chance to see him tonight, wanting to air out some of our dirty laundry so we could move right along to happy sexy time again. But a bigger part of me was still in the evasion mode, coming up with small excuses to prolong the inevitable confrontation.

I'd left the breakroom lost in my own thoughts, leaving behind Alice and Rosalie who'd gone on chatting about plans for a group date they wanted to set up. Rosalie had met some other firemen the guys worked with and wanted to set Angela up with one of the single ones. She was reluctant at first, but once the girls told her we'd make it a group thing, she was more comfortable with it. I'd toned them out at this point, my mind so full with their little two-sided tag team to make me see some sense.

I was walking over to Trauma Room One on auto pilot, getting ready to relieve one of the nurses so she could take a break, when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe." It was Edward.

"Hi sweets. What's up?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Day been busy?" I asked, trying to keep my apprehension out of my voice.

"Not really," he replied with a small laugh, the kind that made my girlie parts warm knowing he had that telling smirk on his beautiful lips. "Just been lounging around the house with they guys. One of these days we are going to have to start organizing your schedules around our shifts."

We'd joked about it a couple times before. It seemed that for some odd reason, the girl's and mine schedules were the opposite of the boys. We were working when they were off and vice versa. At the time, we laughed about it, but I knew that both Rosalie and Alice were distraught about it. They were both so anxious to spend time with their guys, needing to cement their budding relationships. Secretly, I was kind of thankful for the small separation between Edward and I. Not because I didn't crave his presence like any other woman would, but because it gave me time to think, time to process what was going on between us. It also gave me an opportunity to avoid the inevitable.

Avoidance seemed to be a common pattern in my life at the moment.

"What time do you get off tonight?" he asked me, his tone wanton with the same desperate desire I had, but I didn't know if his was because he wanted me, or because he could feel the strange distance between us and was desperate to make it disappear.

"I'm not sure. They are needing help tonight, so I offered to stay over for a couple of hours." I bit my bottom lip, knowing that he wasn't going to be happy with the news.

"What? Your staying over?"

"I don't know. Maybe..."

"Well, that's just great, Bella." He was angry, and the deep timber in his tone of voice did nothing to swell the growing desire I had to be near him. Edward was sexy as hell when he was mad. "I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend tonight. When am I going to be able to see you next? I work for the next three days straight!"

My stomach sunk. "Oh my gosh, Edward, I completely forgot!" It was the truth. I'd been so wrapped up in my concerns with our distancing relationship that I totally forgot that he was working for three shifts straight. "I'll try to get out of it."

"No," he told me on a big sigh. "I know they need help; you guys have been really busy. Just maybe once in a while you could ask me before you do something like that again? What if I had something planned, Bella?" His tone was chiting but suggestive just the same. My insides heated at his tone.

"Like what kind of plan?" I asked flirtatiously.

"You know what kind of plans," he told me on a small chuckle.

"No, I don't. Tell me..."

"I was planning on showing you in vivid detail exactly how I can make your body respond," he responded, his voice dropping even lower than before. My body hummed in excitement.

"And what are the details of this plan of yours?" I asked, taking a quick look around to see if anyone had seen I'd come back from lunch, then made my way to a small corridor that wasn't filled up with a gurney at the moment. "I'm afraid that I'm a little slow lately – low blood sugar and all – so you might have to be very thorough in your demonstration."

"Well, you know that small little area behind your ear? The one that drives you crazy every time I kiss you there? I was planning on spending some time making your toes curl with my tongue."

My eyes rolled into my head as a small moan escaped my throat. I missed this. I _needed_ this.

"Mmm, and what else are you going to show me?"

"How hard I can make you cum. How fast I can set your body aflame. How quickly I can get you toward rapture."

_God, _I wanted him. All the silly thoughts that had been clouding my mind all day abandoned my brain, leaving me desperate for a way out of working an extra shift tonight.

"Baby," he said, knowing that he was driving me crazy with his words. "Are you somewhere private?"

"No," I chuckled, looking around me at the busying people just mere feet away. "There's no where private in a hospital, Edward."

"Mmmm, well then you're going to have to pretend that your talking to your mother, won't you."

"Edward..." I warned, knowing what his evil little mind had in store.

"Bella," he said, his voice rich and thick with sex and lust. Just him saying my name like that had my body wet with cream for him. I needed to find a way out of here and into his arms.

Suddenly, I wanted to tell Edward about Jacob. I wanted him to know everything so we could move on together. I hated the fact that there was secrets between us. If we were ever going to last, I needed to trust his feelings for me.

"Hey, baby? Can I come by when I get off? Even if it's late? I want to talk to you about something." My voice was serious, needing to change the tone of our conversation so he knew that things needed to be set right before I could play with him any further.

There was silence for several moments, and I was almost afraid he'd hung up. I was about to ask if he was still there when I heard his voice speak brusquely.

"What do you want to talk about?" His voice was flat, emotionless, and part of me felt that uneasy jump of nerves in my chest.

Why his sudden change in mood? What was going on with him? Did he already know about Jake? Was the tension he held around me lately that profound he didn't want to talk to me about it?

"Well, things have been a little tense with us lately," I told him calmly, hoping that my apprehension wasn't showing in my voice. "I hate it, Edward. And I know that I'm partly to blame. I just want to talk to you about something that happened the other day, and I don't want you to get mad about it. It's really not that big of a deal."

"Why would I get mad about it, Bella, if it's not big deal?"

"I don't know if you will, I just want to tell you so that there are no secrets between us."

"If you didn't want secrets between us, why didn't you tell me about it when it happened?" I hated the fact that he had a point.

"I didn't want to upset you," I told him, my tone becoming defensive. "You seemed stressed out about the stuff with your family that day, and I didn't want to be an added burden."

"Bella, nothing about you is an added burden," he told me kindly, and the love and concern in his voice made my guilt at not telling him deepen right away. "Tell me what happened."

"I will tonight," I told him, reaffirming my resolve to air everything out; we needed to both put ourselves out there, work through the extra crap in our lives so we could move on. It was for the best, and long overdue.

"Tell me now."

_Crap._..

"I'd rather tell you about it in person."

"Why?" he asked

"Because it's something that I want to say when I see you."

"This sure doesn't sound like it's no big deal."

"It's not."

"Then tell me what it's about."

"Not while I'm at work."

"Bella..."

"Look, Edward, it's not that big of a deal but I think you'll be upset with me that I didn't tell you sooner. I just want to be in a position where I can see you and physically touch you, and to be completely honest, I don't want to get upset at work."

"Okay, this is ridiculous, Bella," Edward replied, his voice becoming tight and tense. "You need to tell me now because I'm getting really angry. One minute you tell me it's no big deal, then the next you are ready to fall apart at work. Just tell me!"

"Fine! Jake kissed me."

He didn't say anything for several seconds, and I held my breath the entire time, feeling like it would prolong the moment before he'd explode with rage.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"Um, yeah..." I replied numbly, not knowing what to say.

"What did you do?"

"I, ah, slapped him across the face and told him to leave," I told him lamely, smiling slightly when I heard him chuckle. "And he hasn't call me since."

"Wait a second, when did this happen?"

"The day you went to see your grandfather," I told him softly, biting my lip in anticipation for his reaction.

"You haven't told me about this for THREE WEEKS?"

"It wasn't that big of a deal," I reminded him, my voice soft. I knew he didn't hear me because he 'd pulled away from the phone. I could hear him in the background, cursing up a storm, saying something about wanting to 'kill the fucker' with his bare hands and ready to punish me for keeping this from him.

"Edward?"

There was no response, and I felt my eyes prick with tears as I heard him getting more worked up in the background.

"Hey Bella," Mike called from down the hall. "We need you in Trauma One!"

I nodded to him and started toward that direction.

"Hey, Edward. I have to go, but we'll talk about this later, alright?"

There was no answer, and I pulled my phone away from my ear to see that it had been disconnected. I sighed, tucking my phone back in my pocket and looking toward the cluster of people crowding around the trauma room.

The chaos outside alerted my attention that something major was going down. As I saw people running from the room toward various departments seeking aid, I saw Mike handing me a bright yellow gown and a mask with a face shield.

"You're gunna need this," he told me bluntly, then turned to swing open the doors to the trauma room.

It looked like a bloody massacre inside. There was a patient on a gurney covered in blood, his clothing and linens saturated with the tangy smelling liquid. It seemed the patient was experiencing some kind of convulsions, because he was thrashing around on the bed as blood came spewing out of his mouth like a macabre little fountain.

"Bell, I need you!" It was Dr. Cullen, standing behind the patient at the head of the bed. In one hand he held a breathing tube, in the other a long suctioning catheter to clear his viewing field of the copious amount of blood and clots.

When I finished applying my protective gear, I rushed to Dr. Cullen's side, taking the catheter from his hand so he could try to place the tube in the patient's throat. Claire, the patient's nurse, was standing outside the room speaking with the patient's distraught wife. Rosalie was mixing bags of vaspressors to keep the patient's blood pressure high enough to sustain life, while Alice and Angela were both literally squeezing bags of O negative blood into the patient in order to replace what was being lost.

"I can't see," Dr. Cullen said, his tone sharp and anxious.

"His oxygen level is declining to seventy eight percent," Mike announced, reading the result from the monitor beside the bed.

"Okay, this isn't working," Dr. Cullen announced, tossing the bloodied breathing tube onto the gurney. Immediately Mike placed a bag on the patient, giving him the best assisted breaths that he could with the amount of blood in his mouth. "If I try to stick the tube in blindly, I could make the trauma worse."

"Want to Cric him?" I asked, speaking about a brutal procedure that only took place in the most dire of circumstances. I'd only witnessed it a handful of times, but basically a large incision was placed in the throat, just below where a man's Adam's apple would be. A narrow tube is then shoved into the patient's trachea, achieving a secured airway.

"I don't know where the bleeding is coming from," Dr. Cullen said frustratingly. "The films are not back yet."

"I'll call Radiology," Angela announced, running out of the trauma room and heading toward the nurses station.

"It's our only shot," I told him reluctantly. "The patient's vitals are declining as we speak. If we don't try it, he's going to end up dying anyway."

"Don't you think I know that?" Dr. Cullen snapped, turning toward me with a hard glare. I closed my mouth, knowing that he was under a great amount of pressure in that moment, and he wasn't snapping at me maliciously.

"Dr. Cullen," Angela said as she came rushing back into the room. "IR called in the results. It looks like the hemorrhaging is coming from the nasal cavity."

"Were the shots clear?" Dr. Cullen asked as I turned from the bedside and silently began setting up the Cricotomy tray, knowing that if what the Radiologist interpreted was correct, the patient would be safe for a Cric.

"Yes," Angela explained, taking my place by Dr. Cullen and using the suction catheter to dispel some liquid from the patient's nose and lips. "It was taken when the packing was still in place, before it ruptured again."

"Okay, Bella, I'm gunna need a..." he stopped once he saw me turn with a Cric tray already prepared. Dr. Cullen smiled at me, taking the scalpel from my hand as he made his incision.

It took some time, but we were able to stabilize the patient long enough to get him transferred to the Intensive Care Unit.

It was 9:00pm that evening when I had finally changed into some hospital scrubs, showering in the Doctor's lounge to rid myself of the mess. I was exhausted and disappointed, for more reasons than one. Edward hadn't called me back. Not even one text message telling me good night like he usually did.

Needless to say, I was bummed out.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a moment?" Dr. Cullen was standing beside me, a forlorn expression on his face. My thoughts immediately went to Edward.

"What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"What? Who?"

"Edward, is he okay?" I could feel the anxiety clinching my throat at the mere thought of something being wrong.

"Edward's fine, Bella," Dr. Cullen said, placing a calming hand on my tense shoulder. "I just wanted to apologize about jumping down your throat earlier."

"Huh? Oh that..." I replied, relieved that he hadn't told me of Edward's untimely death or something. I really needed to get a grip. "Dr. Cullen, don't worry about that. It was a stressful situation. I know how it can be for you Docs with all that pressure."

"Still, I had no right to snip at you like that."

I laughed, "Dr. Cullen, if you think that was worthy of an apology, you should see half the things us nurses get told on a daily basis. Don't worry about it."

"But you did an awesome job," Dr. Cullen continued. "You were spot on setting up the Cricotomy tray. You fast thinking probably saved the patient's life."

"Or the fact that he had two nurses squeezing blood into him," I retorted with a chuckle, making him laugh in response as well.

"We did good," he told me.

"Yes, we did."

"Is everything okay with you and Edward?" Dr. Cullen asked, changing the subject out of the blue.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" Had he picked up on anything? Had Edward _told_ him something about us?

"Well, when you thought I was talking about Edward earlier, you looked really upset for a moment there. Anything you want to talk about?"

"To my boyfriend's father? Not likely," I told him on a laugh. He smiled, nudging me with his shoulder.

"How about as a friend," he said emphatically.

"Not possible," I told him, shaking my head at the ridiculousness of it. I was _not _talking about my issue with my boyfriend with the man's father. Silly wouldn't even begin to describe that scenario.

"Well, from my point of view, I can tell how happy you two are together," he said with all seriousness. "I know that you two will work through all this crap his grandfather has created."

"Edward tries to stay out of all that," I told him firmly.

"No, he wouldn't. I just wanted to make sure you knew that Edward was very adamant about his relationship with you, and turned down the offer to marry Tanya flatly. From what my mother says, Edward's response to the Denali's must have been a sight to see."

_Say what...?_

"His...what?" I asked, perplexed. What the fuck was he talking about?

"You know, when the Denali's and my grandfather tried to make him reunite with Tanya," Dr. Cullen said, his eyes widening slightly as he realized I didn't know a damn thing about it. "Oh..."

"Yeah...oh is right. That mother fucker..."

He had the gull to get pissed off at me for keeping what happened with Jake a secret, when he had a full on _marriage proposal_ in his sneaky little closet. Oh he was going to get his just desserts.

* * *

**Edward and Bella... I think these two are destined to communicate at some point. **

**Well, tomorrow is my birthday so I updated both this story and Betty! I hope you guys have an awesome weekend, for I know I will. Watch for some crazy drunken tweets from me this weekend cause they are bound to happen. **


	28. Chapter 27 Confrontation of Hypocrisy

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

* * *

Chapter 27 - Confrontation of Hypocrisy

How _could_ he?

He had the nerve to be angry with me, to make me feel horribly guilty for keeping Jake's kiss from him when he had an even bigger bombshell up his sleeve!

It was late at night but I didn't care; I needed to speak with Edward now. It was about 10:30 pm by the time I was able to leave the hospital, and the only thoughts I had running through my mind was the need to confront Edward about his double standards. The term was putting his hypocrisy lightly, I thought. He'd had a damn marriage proposal on the table, and all Jake had done was declare his undying love to me.

Shit, we were both in the wrong, I knew that, but how could Edward be so harsh to me when he knew he was withholding something like this?

I pulled up to Edward's house in a blaze of fury and screeching tires. With a slam of my door and an exasperated huff, I stormed up to his door, ready to give him a piece of my mind. I knew it was late and the guys were probably sleeping because all three of them started their shift in the morning, but I didn't care one bit. We needed to hash this shit out now and in person. It couldn't wait until the end of the three days he was working in house.

After a good door pounding and a few annoying rings on the doorbell, I knew not a soul in that house could still be sleeping. I stood there impatient, waiting with my toe tapping out the long seconds, my mind reviewing exactly what I wanted to say to him.

"Someone better be dead," Emmett's gruff voice proclaimed as he turned the heavy locks on the door. He stood there looming like he was half asleep, glaring into the night to see who disturbed his beauty rest. When he saw me, his eyes widened with shock, then quickly melted into concern.

"What's wrong, Bella? Is it Rose?"

"No," I told him brusquely, pushing past him and into the house without a second glance in his direction. "No one's died, but don't call off the coroner just yet." I stormed down the hallway, making my way through the darkened house toward Edward's room.

"Damn't," I heard Emmett swear softly under his breath. "I knew he should have told her."

The only thing that could've halted my vengeful procession was that little statement. I stopped dead in my tracks, turning slowly to sear Emmett with a burning gaze of Hades.

"You knew?" I asked incredulously. Emmett didn't respond; his mouth hung open as if he were at a loss for words.

I felt a low growl eminate from my chest at his slience, for it was as good as an admission in my book. I turned back on my heel, heading toward Edward's room with a new furry building inside me. How dare he tell his friends and not me!

"Bella, wait!" I heard Emmett say, but I ignored him and kept on going. Arriving at Edward's room, I didn't even bother to knock. I flew open the door, the sound making a resounding thud as it crashed into the wall of his bedroom.

"What the hell?" Edward said, sitting up abruptly in bed, his hair and bed clothes a disheveled mess.

"What the hell indeed, Edward," I told him firmly, my hands on my hips and my heart thundering loudly in my chest. "Mind telling me about what happened at your grandfather's house three weeks ago?"

I saw Edward blanch before he shot a glare behind me, his eyes accusatory and malicious.

"I didn't say anything," I heard Emmett say defensively, and I turned to see him standing behind me with his palms out forward, as if to show his bloodless hands.

"No?" Edward asked, his tone clipped. "But telling Rose was just as good as telling her!"

"Wait a second, Skippy, I didn't tell Rose anything." Edward scoffed incredulously, giving Emmett a disbelieving look. "I didn't, and I'm sure I'm going to pay for that trechorous loyalty when she finds out I kept something from her just so you can keep the peace with your girlfriend."

"Sure you didn't say anything," Edward mocked.

"He didn't," I defended, feeling even more pissed off that he'd have the balls to get mad at Emmett because his shit was out in the open. To me that meant that he never had any intention of telling me. He'd was just as content leaving me in the dark. "It just so happens that I discovered you are a hypocrite from your father."

"Damn it," Edward swore under his breath, and I was fuming at the fact he seemed like he was putting in a lot if effort keeping something like this from me.

"How could you, Edward?"

"Dont get all pissed off at me when you did the same damn thing," he told me firmly.

"What was she keeping from you?" Emmett asked, coming around me to stand in the middle so he could watch the two of us volley back and forth like some audience member of the Jerry Springer show. If I wasn't so damned pissed off, I might've found the eagar expression on his face somewhat comical.

"What I did does not even compare to this utter bullshit," I told Edward, letting my frustration and anger relay through in my posture and tone. "You have been deliberately trying to keep this from me. I was trying to lessen your stress. Besides, what happened was no big deal."

"No big deal?" Edward practically shouted. "I think another man kissing my girlfriend is a HUGE fucking deal."

"Wait, who kissed Bella?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows rising to his hairline.

"I handled it," I told Edward quickly, ignoring Emmett's question outright. "He knows that I could never feel that way about him."

"And yet you continued to ignore all my warnings to you about him. I told you Black had a thing for you!"

"What? Jacob Black put the moves on you?" Emmett whispered, incredulously. "That little shit..."

"Emmett, get out!" Edward told him, seeming to just realize that we were airing all our dirty laundry out in front of company, and a gossiping whore mongerer at that.

"Fuck off," Emmett replied offhandedly, brushing off Edward's dismissal like it was a pesky fly.

"He didn't put the moves on me," I argued hotly. "He just has feelings for me I didn't know he was holding."

"I knew he felt that way about you," Edward repeated as he took the covers off his legs, rising quickly to stand in front of me with a searing gaze. I tried really hard not to notice that he was wearing nothing but a pair of tight boxer briefs, leaving the rippling muscles of his torso bare.

_Damn, he's even hotter when he's pissed..._

My eyes flashed briefly down his body, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was looking. It wasn't fast enough, for that tell-tale sign in his smirk told me he saw me watching. My fury regenerated anew.

"It doesn't matter what you saw, Edward," I told him angrily, my teeth clenched against his sudden male amusement. "It doesn't matter if Jake kissed me and declared his love, he didn't propose to me, did he?"

"He declared his love?" Emmett chuckled. He seemed to find our perdicament entertaining.

"No one proposed to me either," Edward argued hotly. "It was more of a business discussion involving my future, and a part of that was getting back together with Tanya."

"Oh excuse me," I scoffed, pulling my hand to my chest in mock sincerity. "My mistake. It was a 'business proposal'. I guess I should have known that. If only my boyfriend would have told me about it I wouldn't have misunderstood."

Emmett laughed.

"Don't be a bitch about it," Edward retorted hotly, and his choice of words halted my arguments into a standstill. No one called me a bitch, directly or indirectly.

"What did you just say to me?" I growled, stalking toward him with a cloud of red fury overcasting my vision.

"Wow, tiger," I heard Emmett say as he wrapped his arms around my mid-drift, keeping me safely away from the raging asshole in front of me.

"Let her go, Em," Edward said with an arrogant chuckle. "I want to see what she'll do."

"Edward, knock it off!" Emmett chastised. "Both of you need to stop before something is said and it goes too far."

"How could you sit there and make me feel guilty earlier for keeping Jake from you when you were holding back something like this?" I asked him, fighting the tears pulling in my eyes both from the incredulity and frustration. If I was honest with myself, a big part of me was hurt he'd withhold a proposal from me more than anything else.

"He touched you, Bella," Edward answered flatly, coming closer to me while knowing that Emmett was holding me back securely. "And the fact that you kept it from me makes me think that you liked it just a little big too much."

My mouth hung open in shock, my mind whirled in protest. _How could he think that?_

"What's going on?" I heard someone say from the door, and out of my peripheral vision, I saw Jasper walk into the room, taking in the situation before him. I was sure we looked a site; Emmett still held me around the middle as my body leaned toward Edward's, wanting nothing more than you wipe that arrogant, condesending smirk from his damn mouth with my palm. Edward was standing there indignant, confident in the knowledge that as long as Emmett was holding me, I wasn't going to be able to touch him. And Emmett, the ass, was chuckling softly behind me, thinking the whole damn situation was something entertaining.

"Black kissed Bella," Emmett told Jasper on a chuckle, making Jasper look back at him wide-eyed.

"No," Jasper replied, his disbelief evident.

"Yup, and Bella didn't tell him about it until today," Emmett continued, giving him a complete rundown of current events, all while maintaining an annoyingly cheerful tone in his voice. Edward and I just continued to glare at each other, daring the other to say something.

"Why would Bella keep something like that a secret?" Japser asked.

"Thank you very much," Edward replied, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. "You see, at least one of my friends agrees that another man coming onto you is not something you should keep from your current boyfriend."

"And what about a marriage proposal, huh?" I asked indignantly. "It's okay for you to keep something like that from me?"

"She knows?" I heard Jasper ask Emmett on a whisper.

"Argh!" I screamed in frustration and protest. The realization that not only Emmett knew about it before me, but Jasper as well fueled the fire within me even further.

"You guys need to learn to communicate," Emmett said, his tone serious. "I think a lot of your problems would be solved if you guys just talked."

"Really, Emmett?" Edward asked mockingly.

"He's right, Edward," Jasper replied. "If Bella felt that she could come to you and tell you about Jacob without you going all postal on her, than she probably would have. I'm willinging to bet she was somewhat afraid of your reaction."

"That's bullshit," Edward spat, but now that Jasper had said it outloud, part of me wondered if it was true. Was I afraid to tell Edward? Was that why I avoided this conversation, thereby pushing him away inadvertantly?

In the next second after my mind was done formulating those questions, I realized that I didn't give a flying fuck if that was the case, especially not at that moment. Later, when I had sufficiently reamed Edward's ass, maybe I'd consider the validity of Jasper's statement, but not now.

"No, Edward, I think Jasper has a point," Emmett added, his expression going towards contemplation mode, making him appear to be deep inside a logical argument inside his own mind. It was almost comical.

"No, he doesn't," I retorted hotly, tired of them all talking about our relationship as if I wasn't here. "I didn't tell Edward about Jacob because I didn't want him worrying about something he couldn't control, and it was pretty much all said and done in the end. I told Jacob I could never return the feelings he had for me and I ended the friendship at that moment."

Edward scoffed as if he didn't believe me. Instead of playing into his antics, I just kept talking, mindful of the fact that both Emmett and Jasper seemed to be paying me more respect than my boyfriend currently was.

"I saw how stressed out you were after leaving your grandfather's house that day, and I wanted to take that pressure away from you. I didn't know what had happened or what was said, but I figured you would've come to me when you were ready to talk about it. After a couple days had past, perhaps I didn't tell you at that point because part of me was scared about your reaction, I don't know. I'm too damn pissed right now to think about it. My biggest question to you, Edward, is why you felt having as large of a thing as a marriage proposal to you was not important to relay to your current girlfriend?"

"I didn't tell you because it wasn't any of your business!" Edward yelled, the sound reverberating around the room and giving way to a deathly silence.

_It wasn't my business?_

Wasn't _my_ business?

Well, I guessed you couldn't get more plain than that...

"Edward," I heard Jasper warn in a whisper, but it was too late. The damage was done.

I felt Emmett's grip on me slacken, probably wanting me to slap some sense into Edward after that comment, but I didn't have it in me. When Emmett let go of his hold, by body practically fell into his under the weight of Edward's honest words. I guessed I wasn't as important to Edward as he was to me.

Whenever I looked into Edward's eyes, I'd always see my future, my forever...my Green Eyes. But I never stopped to assess whether he saw the same when he looked at me. Now, with his harsh statement so stark and blazen, I was forced to really see the way he looked at me.

Was it with love? I had thought so, but now that I truly looked at him I saw nothing but resignment and apathy staring back at me. His gaze wasn't warm or loving, it was harsh and brass.

Truthful.

Honest.

Cold.

"Well, I guess it's none of my business then..." I responded flatly, my voice soft and emotionless.

"Bella, he didn't mean that," Jasper tried to say, but I cut him off quickly.

"No, he did. I must have been too blinded by my own silly fantasies to see the truth, but I realize it now. I was just his simple rebound girl."

Edward didn't make a move to argue against me, but I could see a slight narrowing of his eyes. That was the only noticable change of his cold demeanor.

"That's not true, Bella..." Jasper said soothingly, but it didn't pass any of our notice that Edward didn't correct me.

"Really? It seems pretty obvious to me. I bet that's why he never told me about Tanya's proposal. It's why he never introduced me to his grandfather in the first place. And it's why he never told me that his father murdered his mother."

There were several beats of silence as my declaration hung in the air. I made a mental note of the fact that neither Jasper or Emmett said anything about my accusation, telling me that not only were they aware of Edward's "business" proposal with Tanya, but they also knew of the circumstances behind his parents' deaths. Was there _anything_ I knew about him?

"How do you know about that?" Edward growled between clenched teeth, and a wicked smile curved my mouth the same time that sharp tears pricked my eyes.

"Jake," I shrugged, letting one tear fall unchecked down my cheek. I didn't even bother to wipe it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I noted the fact that both Jasper and Emmett had quietly made their way out of the room, leaving Edward and I in our heated standoff alone.

"That is classified information," he spat harshly, as if I were the one that had gone digging through confidential files searching for his name.

"That may be," I told him calmly, my voice shaking slightly at the end. I willed my breaking heart to hold together just a little longer, hoping that I could at least make it to my car before I let the torment of tears fall free, but I could feel my solid facade falter. I swallowed against a lump in my throat before I could force my voice to work once more. "But Jake thought I should know."

"Yes, your love seems to think himself above an ordered sanction," Edward replied with an evil, vendicitve smile, knowing that jab would hit me in the gut. "But believe me, his job will be on the line for this utter bullshit."

"He didn't go looking for the information, Edward," I told him bluntly, hoping that I could keep Jake from getting fired. "He just stumbled upon it after the whole Rachael thing. It seems you have a way of breaking hearts in your wake."

"That's impossible," Edward replied, his green eyes sharp and unforgiving, completely bypassing my accusation as if I never made it. "The case was filed shut; all the documents were ensured to be destroyed. He must have gone digging for the details, or spoke to someone who was placed under a gag order. He must really be trying to get into your bed, but I guess he doesn't have to work that hard now, does he..."

I felt my right palm twitch at his words, wanting nothing more that to plant itself squarely across Edward's arrogant face, but I stopped myself. I would not be the one to leave this house or this relationship with regrets, and if I struck Edward now, I knew I'd regret it later.

Instead, I merely took one last look at him, trying to see past the anger and resentment this day had brought, to the man that claimed once to love me. I didn't see any remanance of it in his expression – it was hard, flat, malicious. I didn't see any sign of his love in his posture – it was guarded, stiff, unforgiving. I didn't see an inch of emotion in his words – they'd been harsh, unrelenting...callous.

It was only his eyes that held even a semblance of remorse, but I didn't believe it to be because he'd regretted his words. I knew Edward was a good man and he never desired to hurt me. I guessed I was just another on of those women he left in his wake, broken and shattered into a million peices. He'd warned me from the beginning. Jake had warned me, even presented a vivid example with his sister, but I chose to keep on trucking. To keep on the path of a passion-filled love.

I guessed it wasn't meant to be...

With Edward's harsh accusation in my mind, and my heart empty with the love I lost, I turned on my heel, and walked straight through the door.

* * *

**AN: Have faith...**

**Want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I won't update until after the new year so you all have a safe and sane holiday. I know I will ;)**

**Rec: The Tour by WutheringBites**


	29. Chapter 28 I Love You

**The Twilight Series character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization, 2010 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

**Thanks to Neliz & Hibbleton78 for working on this project as my betas. **

* * *

Chapter 28 – I Love You

I didn't know what I was doing. As I watched Bella stand in front of me, boiling over with anger as a result of my idiotic accusation, something inside me snapped.

I was just so angry that Black had put the moves on _my_ woman that I wasn't thinking clearly. It might have opened old wounds left by Tanya's infidelity, but I didn't like it one bit. And the fact that Bella had kept it from me had me fuming inside. To me, it seemed she was trying to protect Jacob, and that little gem of knowledge just pissed me off even more.

It hadn't escaped my notice that it seemed Bella let Jacob Black get too involved in our lives. The first time we'd had a misunderstanding, he was the cause. His over-exaggerated story about Rachel had led to Bella's doubts, and I had to admit my past behavior to her way too early in our relationship, in my opinion. I'd never planned to deceive her, but we hadn't known each other very long. There wasn't a chance to develop any trust between us to make it through that kind of admission unscathed. I knew part of her was taken aback by my confession of how I treated women in the past, and I couldn't blame her. In my mind, the fact that she kept Jake's little kiss from me was like a form of defending his actions, and I couldn't keep my temper in check knowing he'd interfered once again.

I planned to put my fist through Black's face the next time I saw him — there was no changing that. No one touched _my_ girl. But the fact that she was shielding him made me believe that maybe she liked being admired by him a little too much. After all, no one as smart as Bella could be so oblivious about his apparent attraction to her.

She knew...she had to have known, and I wasn't falling for her little innocent act. How did I know that more hadn't happened between them? How could I be sure that the declaration of was on his side only? Maybe she did feel something for him... It would explain why she kept all of it from me for so long.

_Maybe she was afraid of your reaction_...

Jasper's comment echoed once more. There was that little voice in the back of my mind that reminded me of Bella's devotion and commitment to me. She'd never given me a reason to doubt her before, and, rationally, I knew that. There was no justification for the way I was reacting toward her now, and as I spat my hateful words, hoping that she'd feel a shred of the injustice and betrayal I was feeling at the moment, the little piece of me that was still coherent was screaming for me to stop.

It was when she turned away from me, hurt by my words of anger, that I was able to see through the haze of rage clouding my judgment.

"Where are you going?" I growled at her, a sudden shot of pain clenching my chest as she turned her back to me. She was walking away...

No. _I_ had pushed her away.

"It's none of your business," she spat at me, throwing my words to her back in my face. Despite her angry tone, she couldn't hide the pain in her voice, or the way the words hitched in her throat.

"Running back to him?" I asked ruthlessly, trying at this point to keep her desperately involved in our heated fight. It was our first one, and thanks to my hasty words, it might have been our last.

"No, Edward. I'm not running anywhere. I just don't take being called a whore lightly." She still wasn't looking at me, but at least she'd stopped. She stood in the middle of the doorway, her posture rigid and her fists clenched at her side.

"I didn't call you a whore," I told her, taking a step closer to her so she could see the genuine confusion in my eyes. I hadn't, had I?

"You insinuated as much when you accused me of going back to Jacob," she said, a small sob ripping from her throat near the end. She lifted her tiny hand to her mouth, probably hoping to keep the rest of her words trapped in her throat.

"I didn't mean that, Bella," I replied quickly.

"And what about all those times I thought I was making love to you, Edward," she asked, failing to hold back her cries this time. "It seems you don't feel that way about me since your life is none of my business. I guess it was just sex to you in the end."

It didn't escape my notice that it was the second time she'd mention that rash statement I'd made out of anger, and I was starting to see how much that had hurt her. I took a step closer to her, reaching out to comfort her because it was instinctive for me to do so. She shied away from me, turning slightly to give me her back more fully.

"Please don't," she said timidly. "I just have to go; I need to be away from you right now. It hurts too much to look at you."

"Bella..." I said, my voice trailing off. It was a desperate plea that begged her to stay, to not take my words to her at face value. Of course it was her business that my family had blind-sided me; it would always be her business. I didn't know what possessed me to say that, but I had, and it was obvious how hurt she was by it.

"I don't know what you want from me, Edward." She sounded defeated, still turned away from me, refusing to meet my eyes. "I know I should have told you about Jacob. There was no reason to keep that from you except that I was afraid to stress you out further. But even if you don't care for me as I do for you, I thought we were friends. Why wouldn't you tell me about what happened at your grandfather's?"

I approached her then, my body and heart craving to be closer to her. Before I could even evaluate whether it would be a good idea or not, my hands reached out to her, grasping her around her shoulders. She stiffened just slightly under my touch, but before too long, I could feel her body melting into mine. I didn't deserve it, but I could tell that despite my heated words to her, she didn't want to leave things the way they were anymore than I did.

It killed me to think that I'd hurt her — to know that I'd hurt her. I never wanted that, but the whole situation just pissed me off so much that I hadn't even bothered to calm myself down first. I'd just lashed out at her, and that's not the type of lover I wanted to be.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I told her honestly, trying desperately to put every ounce of remorse I felt in my words. "I didn't mean any of that shit I said earlier. I know it's not an excuse, but I was just so angry to find out that Black interfered once again. I hate that he's gotten between us like this, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Jake's not trying to ruin our relationship, Edward," Bella replied. I didn't want to argue with her by showing her every example where that was the exact opposite of reality, I just wanted to make sure she knew I was sorry for hurting her.

"It doesn't matter if he is or if he isn't," I said, holding her closer to me for comfort. "I shouldn't have hurt you like that no matter what the circumstances are. I need to get better control of my anger, you deserve better than that. You deserve to know the truth, all of it, despite how afraid I am that you will go running once you hear it."

"Tell me," she said simply, both a demand and a plea in one. I wanted to start at the beginning, at a time where my life seemed so innocently simple, but I knew what she wanted to hear first. The mess with Tanya needed to be settled before we could move on, and if it helped to make up for what I'd said to her, I'd start there.

"My grandmother called me to their home on false pretenses," I began, the sting of my Heidi's betrayal returning once more. "It seemed that Caius had called the Denali's over, and they were all discussing my future as if I wasn't there."

"What did they want from you?" she prompted when I was silent for a few moments.

"They wanted me to return to med school," I told her on a sigh, my mind becoming frustrated all over again at the memory of it. "I guess Eleazar pulled some strings to get me back in with credit for my time in the field. Carlisle knew that it was a possibility, and he was all for it if I was agreeable. He just didn't know about the rest of their plans."

"And the rest of it was for you to marry Tanya, right? To hopefully take the pressure off your Uncle's debacle by giving Seattle the wedding of the century?" she asked with a slight hitch in her voice, and I could tell for the first time that she was fighting off tears as I retold my story. I wasn't sure if she was upset because I hadn't told her before or if it was the idea of me getting back with Tanya, but I could sense that Bella was more hurt by this than she'd let on before. It wasn't so much the anger that she'd portrayed earlier, but a sudden sense of defeat, of resignation — like I'd already chosen to give her up and wouldn't tell her or something — that made me realize what a superb asshole I was.

"Baby," I said, pulling her to me and enveloping her in my arms. She melted into me, placing her face into my chest as a horrible sob ripped through her chest. "Shhhh, sweetheart," I crooned to her, hoping that she could feel the love I had for the incredible creature she was radiate into her. But she hadn't responded except for a few sniffles and some mumbled words into the bare skin of my chest.

"Did you say yes?" she asked into my flesh, not daring to look at me as she said it. "Is that why you didn't tell me? You were trying to find out how to break up with me?"

"What?" I asked, flabbergasted and horrified that she could possibly think that way. But on the same hand, how would I have interpreted my actions if the roles were reversed? Probably pretty similar, I'd realized.

"I know things have been weird between us, Edward," she continued to say, her fists clenched against my skin in an almost desperate gesture. "I know you've been pulling away — I could feel it. I've just never felt like this about anyone before. I can't h-help the way you make me feel. I'm s-sorry if I've been too much of a coward to not tell you about Jake, but I didn't want to lose you. I could _feel_ you pulling away; I didn't want to add more drama and make you want to leave all together."

I was such a complete douche. How could I've hurt her this way? Make her feel like she's anything less than spectacular? I didn't deserve her, not by a long shot.

I pulled her back slightly and put my hands on the sides of her face, forcing her to look at me when she resisted meeting my gaze. I gently wiped the tears from beneath her eyelids with my thumbs, reveling in the sheer beauty she emanated.

"My sweet Bella, you are everything to me," I told her honestly, hoping my sincerity would be felt in my words.

"But you said i-it was none of my business," she said through a soft hiccup. "Why would you say that, Edward?"

"I don't know, Bella," I told her, taking a step away from her to gently close my bedroom door. "I was just so...angry, I guess." I leaned back on my door, not willing to meet her eyes as the painful memories of what I'd said to her only moments prior came flooding back to me.

_God, I am a moron…_

"That's what I don't get, Edward," she replied as she wiped the remaining moisture from beneath her eyes as she turned to walk away from me, taking a quick look at her thumbs to see if her makeup was smearing. It wouldn't have mattered to me if it had. She'd still be the most beautiful person in the world to me. My instinct was to follow her gentle retreat, needing to be next to her despite her need for distance. "How could you make me feel that way if part of what you said was not true?"

She had a point, and when I didn't answer her, she let out a shaky huff, and reached for the doorknob to leave once more.

With speed I didn't know I possessed, I was in front of her blocking her escape.

"Bella, please don't leave," I told her, a slight edge of panic in my voice.

"I don't know how I can stay," she told me. "Not when you've made it a point to keep me at arm's length when it comes to the details of your life."

"That's not true," I responded, hating the fact that I knew that what she said was partially true. "There were things I couldn't tell you, Bella."

"But you could tell Emmett and Jasper?" she said, looking at me incredulously.

"You don't understand. I've known the pair of them for a large chunk of my life. They both knew me right after my parents' death, Bella. They know everything about me: the good and the bad."

"That doesn't explain how you could just run to them when something happened," she told me, taking a step away from me. The fact that she was trying to retreat from me stung a little, but knowing that she was still willing to hear me out gave me a semblance of hope.

"I didn't run to them, Bella," I explained, watching her closely as she looked at me disbelievingly. "Jasper and Emmett knew about it because I sought out their advice. They know me better than anyone, except my parents. I wanted to get their take on what had happened before I talked to you  
about it."

"And how is that not running to them?" she asked, her hands on her hips and her tone chiding in nature.

"It's not like I came home from your place and spilled my guts out, Bella," I explained. "I kept it to myself for a while. But because they know me so well, they could tell something was off. It took both of them to pry it out of me, but then it felt good to get it off my chest. And their incredulity at the situation my family put me in was like vindication for what I was feeling."

"But don't you see? I want to be that person, the one you come to when something happens. It should be _me_ that you seek validation from, not _them_. That is how a relationship works, Edward. I am supposed to be your support."

I was silent for several seconds, taking in what she'd just told me. Granted, I was new at this kind of relationship. I'd been with Tanya for a while, but our connection to each other was only skin deep. Our families were more passionate about our union than either of us. I'd never felt emotions as deeply as I did for Bella. She was the one person that evoked them to a boiling point. Of course I should have gone to her; that was what people do when they were in love with each other.

They don't use each other's short comings as evidence for vindication, using their failures as some kind of hidden ranking system where they could one up each other. They didn't hide the specifics of their lives to keep that bit of themselves protected. They shared everything because they knew, in the end, when all was said and done, they'd love one another despite all the bullshit. They were supportive, kind, and committed regardless of it all.

Why hadn't I realized it before?

Once again, outside influences had affected my relationship with Bella, only this time, it wasn't Jacob Black.

I hated Tanya Denali more in that moment than I'd ever had before.

"You're right, Bella," I told her lamely, feeling my face heat at my admission. "I should have told you immediately. I just haven't had much experience dealing with relationships, and I —"

"Don't do that, Edward," Bella interrupted, holding her hands out to stop my words dead cold. I looked at her questioningly, and I could see her eyes clamped shut as if she couldn't stand to hear my excuse. "I don't want you to start making up reasons why you kept this from me."

"Bella, it's not an excuse. I'm really new to this…"

Bella sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. She took one step closer to my bed, looked at it thoughtfully, as if weighing her next words to me carefully, before she sat down and placed her hands on her knees. Without looking at me, she began to explain her anger in a soft, timid tone.

"Edward, I know I don't know much about your birth parents, and even less about what you went through during their untimely deaths, but I do know your adopted parents very well. They both have an incredible relationship. It's more of a partnership than I've ever seen from any other couple. My parents were never a great example of what a true relationship entails, but I know you must have learned something from watching Carlisle and Esme over the years. Using your lack of interest in the women you've dated before is hardly a justification, Edward."

"I'm not saying that, Bella – I'm not using that as an excuse. You have to give me some credit."

"That's exactly what you were doing. Surely you have seen how truly dedicated Carlisle is to his wife. There has to be some part of you that uses their wonderful relationship as an example of what you want in one of your own. Do you see him keeping something like this from Esme?"

"That's different," I said, brushing off her comment like she didn't know what she was talking about. In reality, she was starting to make sense, and I was afraid that if she took my reason away for not telling her what happened, it would mean that I'd have to face the truth: the real reason I didn't tell her.

"How is it different, Edward? Is it because you don't feel that strong of a connection with me?"

"That's not it…" I began, not able to finish as I saw her trying to hold herself together.

"I know that we are nowhere near contemplating marriage, but if you even felt a tenth of the connection I feel for you, I believe in my heart that you would have told me."

Her voice broke at the end, and I hated what she was alluding to. She was saying that what I felt wasn't enough, that through my actions I had somehow drawn a line in the sand. My inner hot head wanted to shout at her, to tell her that she pretty much had done the same damn thing to me, but where would it leave us? I was afraid that the conclusion would be to our detriment, and it was something I wasn't willing to face.

"You want to know the truth?" I asked her as I pushed away from my door, standing before her in complete vulnerability. My tone was hot and angry; it was a defense mechanism, one that I'd used to protect myself from all the crap I was about to unleashed on her. I never wanted her to know this information because it would show her exactly how devious and vicious my family truly was. And if she knew the kind of people I came from, the ones I called my kin, maybe she'd be afraid that I was just like them. After all, my behavior in the past wasn't in my favor. And the way I'd treated her thus far only added to the bigger picture I was painting, one where the legacy of the Cullen family shone through my blue collared, carefully tailored and manufactured exterior. My mask would be unveiled, and all the time I'd spent trying to distance myself away from them would be all for naught, because in the end, I'd lose the one thing in this life I was desperate to find, but at the same time, afraid to hold too close.

"My father _murdered_ my mother because he couldn't live up to what she was owed," I told her quickly, the words spilling from my mouth like poison being wretched from my system. "Instead of being that failure – the one my grandfather pegged him to be – he decided to end his pain and hers."

"I-I-I don't understand," Bella replied timidly after I stood fuming motionlessly for several moments, my hands pulling at my hair as the harsh reality of my parents' untimely deaths came rushing back to me. It was so convoluted, so tragic, and in the end, that one event ended up defining my entire life completely.

"Of course you don't understand, Bella. No one in your life would ever make you feel unworthy of even living," I told her, fighting against the tears of rage forming in my eyes. It was in that moment that I realized that I hadn't really discussed their deaths in a very long time. It was part of the infamous Cullen Cover-up to be silent, as if it never happened, but even in the privacy of Carlisle and Esme's home, I'd never spoken of it. Of what I'd overheard…what I'd witnessed…

"Edward, sit down," Bella said, her small hands reaching for me. I hadn't realized I was pacing like a mad man before her, and it seemed I was making her more anxious with my erratic movement rather than my sick and twisted admission.

I went to her reluctantly, hating that in that moment, I felt too perverted to be near someone as pure and good as her. After all, I hadn't done anything wrong. It was just what had happened to me that made me feel less than worthy…of what happened to _us_.

She pulled me down beside her so that I was seated on the bed, my bare legs rubbing against her scrub-covered ones. I looked at her thoughtfully, desperately, hating that she had that look about her that made her seem both tired and anxious. I hated making her feel this way, hated that I'd hurt her at all. Bella Swan was genuinely a gentle soul, one that didn't deserve to be put through the ringer. She didn't deserve all the games and bullshit that came with my family.

I needed to lay all my cards out in front of her, show her all there was to Edward Cullen, then perhaps I'd be worthy of her love. Maybe she'd take me, all of me, rather than only having the part I'd allowed her to see.

A war raging was raging inside of me – one side telling me to keep the status quo, that way I wouldn't risk losing her. The other more noble side trusted Bella's love for me, knowing that despite all the dramatics and hysterics my past had wrought, she'd still want me regardless.

She must have seen me struggling, for she held out a hand to me, palm up, offering me comfort amidst the storm inside my mind. I watched as she moved that subtle offering closer to me, building that bridge of reassurance and peace I needed so desperately in that moment. My Bella, my love, my singer… was comforting me in my most desolate hour…

So it was with great courage and apprehension that I took her hand, holding her warmth close to me, and began the story of my life…my tragedy…and my triumph.

"My mother was a beautiful woman. She had the grace of a swan and a heart of gold. She was so talented…so talented…" As I spoke, I could see her in the eyes of my six year old self. She'd was always dressed so nicely in flowing skirts that felt good against my cheeks whenever I'd give her legs a huge bear hug. She always smelled of roses and cream and she had a laugh that made me feel at home. Her vivid green eyes were just like mine, and her passion for music was only surpassed by the favor she held for my father.

"She was an accomplished pianist, playing in concert halls throughout the U.S. Once she married my father, Edward Masen Sr., she took up teaching privately and used her free time to compose intricate ballads."

I paused for a moment, caught up in a memory of her teaching me one of her favorite pieces, her soft voice calm and instructive whenever I'd struggle with a difficult chord. She was always so gentle with me, firm but kind. She was my muse when I tried my own hand at writing, shortly before her death.

I felt the soft touch of a hand across my cheek, and I realized that Bella had wiped away a tear. I met her eyes briefly to see a soft expression of love and compassion, and I cleared my throat in preparation to complete my story.

"My father worked in the financial district at one of the big brokerage houses in Seattle," I told her brusquely, my eyes finding a certain spot on my hardwood floor, concentrating there so I could focus on getting through this. "He was very good at what he did, but it seemed graduating out of Yale and entering the business wasn't as easy as he assumed it would be."

"When my parents met it was a whirlwind romance, at least that's what my mother would always say. She often told me stories of how they met and fell in love, especially when my father would get in one of his drinking spells. He'd become so belligerent, but that didn't happen until closer to the end."

"I guess he was under a lot of pressure…no, I know he was. I'd heard my grandfather speaking to him once when I was about seven years old. We'd had a large Christmas party in our home – some of the richest families in the West Coast were in attendance, or so my grandmother boasted. Back then she was an intrinsic part of my life, always there to take me to the plays or listen to my mother perform at a benefit concert. Looking back, I think she was just culturing me, preparing me to enter the world of high society."

"It was at that party that I caught my grandfather cornering my father in the study. I was hiding in there away from some old broad who kept pinching my cheeks." Bella laughed softly at the image, and then squeezed my hand in encouragement to continue.

"My father had a glass full of Brandy, sipping it as Caius stood before him. He was talking about some kind of business dealing, needing some specific information, and he wanted my father to do something regarding it. It seemed he was very reluctant to do so. He kept rubbing his forehead, something I knew he only did in agitation." I mimicked his movement, remembering how he'd do it anytime he'd catch me doing something I knew I shouldn't have. It was always followed by a stern lecture, and then a loving pat on my bum in warning to behave."

"'I need you to do this in benefit of the family,' my grandfather said. I think it was a favorite saying of his – 'in benefit of the family'. I'd heard it several times more in my young life, and it was always directed at my father."

"Several days later, there was a call from my grandfather. My dad locked himself in study for hours. I heard his raised voice and what sounded like a glass shattering against the wall. My mother found me listening and pulled me away, occupying my curious mind with another ballad she'd written just for me."

"It was later that week that I heard them fighting. They thought I'd been asleep for quite some time, but I was lying awake in my bed, listening to their heated words. It was uncommon for them to fight like that, and I remember holding my bear close to me, thinking that I was having some kind of nightmare."

Bella started rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand, calming me and giving me the strength to continue.

"My mother started going over to my grandparents' house a lot after that, always speaking to my grandmother with tears in her eyes. One time I caught her outright bawling into my grandmother's lap, her face streaked with her mascara. It scared me a lot because I'd never seen my mother cry like that. It was something I'd see a lot more of as the coming months passed."

"My father came home later and later as the days went by. Sometimes, he seemed to be halfway drunk before he even passed through the door. It became steadily worse until one night, he was inconsolable. My mother didn't even try to hide it from me at that point. She just stayed and comforted him when she could, and bore the brunt of his abuse when he felt like lashing out."

"Sometime later my grandfather threw a huge party for my parents. My mother didn't want to go, and it was the first time I'd ever seen her reluctant to enjoy a social event. I didn't know what the party was for, but there were a lot of men in suits wanting to shake my father's hand. Later, I found out it was because of the merger. He'd done what my grandfather had asked of him."

"And what was that?" Bella asked her voice soft and welcoming…trusting. I wanted to trust her, to know that she'd keep this knowledge safe, but I didn't know if she'd run screaming after I told her.

"He'd done some insider trading to benefit my grandfather's company," I told her, my eyes locking with hers so I could see any hint of dissention. She looked back at me with understanding, unwavering in her commitment to hear me out. "He was illegally gathering information on various companies for Caius so that he would know where to invest and where to pull his money from before the ship started to sink."

"Unbelievable," Bella mumbled, but I didn't hear anything but disdain in her voice aimed solely at my grandfather. I nodded, agreeing with her assessment whole-heartedly.

"For the next several months my father became a different man. I think the guilt was eating him alive. Carlisle has another theory, but it's never been proven."

"What theory is that?" Bella asked curiously.

"We've only discussed it briefly in the last couple years, because Carlisle knew more details about the family's business than I did. Some of the companies my grandfather acquired over the years based on the information my father had gathered ended up having ties to the mafia. It's possible that the information he'd obtained not only benefited the family, but also members of the mob. He thought that maybe Ed was getting some heat to keep quiet about what he'd done," I told her with a shrug. I never thought his theory had any merit. If it was the truth, there'd be proof in my book. "It doesn't make sense to me, though. Why kill my mother if he was under pressure from the mob?"

"Maybe it was an accident," Bella offered lamely.

"No, it couldn't have been," I told her, staring unseeingly toward the floor. I knew he'd done it on purpose. I remembered his words vividly right before he pulled the trigger...

"It was in the following months that my father had changed when I really started getting concerned, and I could tell that my mother was worried as well."

"She tried to shield me as much as she could, stating the change of his behavior was due to stress and pressure from his job, but my father would come home late at night, completely blitzed and looking for a fight."

I felt Bella's grip get tighter, sensing that I was getting closer to the actual event. In that small gesture, she was showing me her love and devotion. Despite how horribly I treated her, she was still here, still willing to listen and support me through the hardest memories of my life.

It was the motivation that I needed to keep going, to share that part if me that no one knew - not Carlisle, not Esme, not even my best friends.

"I heard him do it."

The admission was stark and emotionless, despite the rampaging beat of my heart. To this day, no one knew I was hiding in the room when it had happened. The cops had found me under my bed, trembling and mumbling three words over and over again. The last three words my mother had said to me as I watched her die.

Bella remained very quiet as my confession hung in the air. She didn't gasp or try to coddle me; she just sat next to me, serving as my rock, my anchor. I appreciated her strength more than anything else in that moment.

"He'd come home wanting a fight, or at least, that'd been my impression at the time. I could tell that he was drunk, but there was something different this time. Instead of locking himself inside of his study to drink the night away along with his sorrows, he headed straight toward the bedroom he shared with my mother. I heard him yelling at her, telling her something about how my grandfather had gone far enough, and he wasn't going to put up with it anymore. I heard my mother tell him that they could move away from Seattle, but it seemed to make him more upset."

"I decided to leave them to their argument. If we were going to move, I wanted to grab all of the things I'd left in my hideout. My father didn't know it at the time, but I'd found a small cupboard in the large bookshelf in his study. I'd hide all my special toys in it and would often spend afternoons in there playing amidst my father's things. I think subconsciously, it made me feel closer to him in a way. He'd always been such an inspiration to me, my best bud, until he started to change."

"I was inside the study, gathering some of my Transformers, when I heard the door open. I hurried into the cupboard 'cause I didn't want to get into trouble for being somewhere I wasn't allowed. I was still small enough to fit inside."

"My father wasn't alone; she followed him, trying to get him to see reason..."

"_Do you know what he asked of me? What he wants me to do, Liz?" _

"_Ed, please calm down."_

"_You've known! How long were you plotting behind my back?"_

"_Sweetheart, I don't know what you mean..."_

"_You're a traitor! How could you sell our family out like this? Your son... He's going to grow to be just like the lot of them." _

"_You know Edward will never be like that —" _

"_We are in so deep, Liz, do you know that? There's no way we can get out of it. And do you know what your father told me today? He told me it wasn't good enough. That if I wanted to keep my family, I needed to do it again. And if I got caught, he wants me to take the blame by myself, despite the loss of my family."_

"_Baby, please..."_

"_That's all you guys care about, isn't it. Money and power... The whole lot of you won't stop until you own and control the whole world." _

"_That's not true for me. It doesn't matter to me, I've told you that. Please..."_

"_It is true. This house is all the matters to you. This damn diamond and all the fucking shit we have, it's all you've ever cared about. But at what cost does it come at, Liz. My soul? Yours? Edward's?"_

"_No…"_

"_You want me to get caught up, don't you…? That's why you've set me up! You've been plotting it this way all along."_

"_Ed, please stop and talk to me…"_

"_Why? So you can fill my head with more lies? So I can believe you and trust you to my own detriment? You probably have the next poor sap lined up to take my place, don't you?"_

"_Edward…"_

"_You do, don't you? I can't believe this!"_

"_You are completely wrong, Edward. I love you with my whole soul. Please, just let me talk you down."_

"_Talk me down?"_

"_What are you doing?"_

"_I've had enough of this. I'm not going to lose you to your father's games…"_

"_Edward, stop it…"_

"_He thinks he can control me, manipulate me into something. Well, I'm not going down." _

"_Ed…"_

"_I knew he never thought I was good enough for you, and now he's backed me into a corner." _

"_Please, stop… Don't."_

"_That's it, Liz. Your family has wrought this, I hope you know that. I hope they realize that when I've taken everything they tried to control." _

"_Ed…No! Stop…"_

"I heard the gunshot. Its blast echoed around the little space I sat in. I pulled myself deeper into the cupboard until I heard my father's heavy footsteps." I paused, swallowing deeply as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I sat in silence, its weight heavy on my small shoulders. Then, I crept out on my hands and knees, not sure what I would find."

I closed my eyes tightly against the rush of images I wouldn't soon forget. The emptiness, the sadness, accompanied by a sight no nine year old boy should ever see.

"She was lying on the floor, covered in blood. She was watching me, staring at my small hiding spot like she'd known I was there the whole time. She was still breathing, trying desperately to communicate something to me with her eyes. I crept closer to her, scared because there was too much blood to get too close; I didn't want to hurt her even more. Foolishly, I thought if I didn't touch her, she wouldn't get any worse."

"As I got closer, I could hear the barest whisper of words coming from her blood-stained mouth. 'I love you' she whispered…"

"She died several moments later. I didn't see my father anywhere, but after several minutes of staring at my mother's dead body, I heard another gunshot come from upstairs."

I'd had felt so alone. The feelings of fear and utter devastation I'd felt that day surrounded me just as strong as before, engulfing me in a tidal wave of despair. It was only the angel sitting next to me, clutching my hand tightly as if my life depended on it that kept me in the here and now. She was the one to pull me back from that nightmare. My silent sentinel, my peaceful serenity…my Bella…

"I knew that both my parents were dead, but I didn't want to get into trouble. I thought if the police knew that I was hiding in the study, they'd think that I was responsible for what happened. Silly thoughts of a nine year old boy, I know…"

"I hid in my room for hours…maybe even days. I just remember my Uncle Carlisle coming to my hospital room, toting a serenely smiling Esme beside him. She had this huge stuffed bear with her, hoping that it would make me feel better. It was the first time I smiled, but it wasn't because of her gift. It was her eyes… The love and compassion made me feel less afraid for the first time in a while. She literally became my second mother from that moment forward."

"She loves you very much…" Bella said softly, her voice thick with emotion. I glanced at her, my mind still clouded with the memories of my horrid past. She was watching me carefully, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Her cheeks were red and wet; her bottom lip trembled with her bridled emotion. She still was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.

"It took me a long time to say those words again," I told her honestly, staring deep into her eyes where I saw my refuge in her warmth. "Esme was patient with me, loving, almost smothering at times. But she was persistent and understanding. She knew that she wasn't my mother, never asking for my love, but it didn't make her see me as anything less than her child."

"I understand, Edward," Bella said, wrapping her arm around my back as she placed her damp cheek on my shoulder, comforting me.

"I think I was fifteen before I told my mother that I loved her," I continued, hoping that she understood the weight of the statement I was about to make to her. "I was even older before I told Carlisle. They knew I loved them, but I never…said…it."

"There is only one other person who I've said those exact words to since my parents died, Bella."

"Edward, I understand. You were engaged to her. I'm sure you told her that you loved her; you probably did at the time."

She didn't understand.

I pushed myself away only to kneel before her on the floor, taking her soaked face in my hands. I wanted her to see the sincerity of my words, the profound truth I was telling her.

"I never said that to her," I explained. "She would say that she loved me every once in a while, but it was usually with an aloof attitude, like she was saying it to some stranger in passing. My reply had always been 'me too'. I've never said 'I love you' to any other woman, but you and both my mothers."

"Edward…" Her hand came up to rest on my own pressed against her face, the tears in her eyes redoubling in number.

"Don't you see? I could never feel more deeply about another person than you. I'm not perfect, and we are both going to make mistakes, but please, don't ever doubt my love for you. This is it for me, Bella. I would give up everything…my life…for you. I didn't tell you about my grandfather because I could see that evil trying to manipulate my life, and I didn't want you anywhere near it. In my mind, that meant not having knowledge of what they had planned as well. I want you as far from my family as possible, and the only way I know how to do that is to shelter and protect you."

"Edward, you don't have to protect me."

"You are the most important thing in my world, Bella. Of course I have to protect you. If there is one thing that will make me go to any length to defend or fight for, it is you. I don't want anyone from my family close enough to us to realize that."

"Edward," Bella sighed, taking my hands off her face and holding them in her lap. "I doubt your grandfather would do anything to me to try to get you to do something. He may be power hungry and manipulative, but he's not heartless. He's your grandfather, Edward."

"Yes, he is," I replied, staring into her beautifully naive eyes with the upmost sincerity. "And I believe with all my heart that his games killed both my parents. I don't want that for you…and I will do anything to keep it far from you."

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**AN: Thanks to all the WC girls over on Skype and the Twilight Awards WC for helping me make sure this chapter was the best it could be: Laura, Lauren, Jersey, Shel, Nel, Kaitlyn, AJ, and Jenn. **

**Rec: Harvest Moon by content1 (fanfiction) ~ for those of you who are looking for a great vamp fic. Highly recommend this one. **


	30. Chapter 29 Classic Aversion

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

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Chapter 29 – Classic Aversion… Men!

~ Edward ~

"So, what are you up to tomorrow?" she asked in an eager tone. She was trying to sound excited with the possibility to see me, but I could sense the fear of rejection underneath her words. She had every right to be worried, of course, and that was my own damn fault.

In the past couple of days we hadn't spoken much, and after the little bomb I dropped on her about my parents' deaths, I was sure she wanted to talk to me more about it, but I had been evasive to say the least. She would call me every day that I was at work, but our conversations never ventured beyond 'hey, how you doing' before I had to get off and run another call.

Of course, I used the excuse of being at a busy station, running call after call to help those in need, and for the most part, it wasn't a lie. However, there were those times when she'd call and I'd glance at my phone, silencing it before I'd slide it back into my pocket without answering.

I was avoiding her, and I honestly couldn't even explain to myself why.

"Probably not much," I told her with a tired sigh. "These last couple of days have kicked my ass. I'll probably just stay at home and rest up."

"Oh, okay. I'll bring you over some lunch and we can watch a movie," she replied. "There's a new one I've been dying to see, and I can grab your favorite from that deli down the street from your place. Sound good?"

"Actually, Bella, I think I'm going to sleep for a majority of the day," I told her before I could stop and think about it. My tone sounded more flat than I'd intended. "I signed up for another three in house starting the day after tomorrow, so I want to get as much rest as possible."

"You did?" she asked, not even attempting to mask the disappointment in her voice. "Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you later then."

"Sure thing, babe," I told her, glad that the sham of a conversation was almost over. "I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Okay," she said softly, the sadness in her voice evident. It should have made me want to talk to her, to reassure her that everything between us was fine, but I couldn't find the desire to. She told me she loved me before she hung up the phone, and I told her the same without inflection.

I knew it wasn't fair to her to be like this, but I couldn't find it in myself to pull myself together and just talk to her. It was almost like I was sticking my head in the dark, hoping that my past and all that it implied would just disappear. It was messing with my mood and severely affecting my relationship with Bella, but I really didn't know how to go back to what we had before.

I sat on my bunk for a long time that evening, thinking about Bella and the life I had planned with her before my past came back and reared its ugly face. We hadn't known each other that long, and in all honesty, our relationship was still young, but when I looked at her, I saw forever: The white picket fence, the two and half kids…the happily ever after. Now, there was so much more to consider.

It wasn't like I didn't want those things with her, I did. It was just that thinking about what happened with my parents brought a terrible truth to the forefront. My grandfather was conniving, and when he wanted something, there was no stopping him. He wasn't above doing things to hurt his family in the process, and there was no way I was letting Bella get in the middle of it all.

I thought back to my relationship with Tanya, evaluating the essence of it. I thought I'd been in love at the time, but I found slowly that it was all superficial, punctuated with the fact that I'd never spoken those three specific words to the woman I was supposed to marry. Our life together was a picture perfect story; a fairy tale retold from society mothers to their spoiled princesses, aspiring for their silver spoons of privilege to turn into golden pumpkins of stability.

Deep down, I wasn't being true to who I was. I blindly followed my grandfather's plans for my life, but as I discovered details behind my parents' deaths, I changed completely. My heart and mind weren't into the whole Cullen façade any longer. I wanted out. I found an opportunity with Tanya's infidelity and took it.

It was apparent that my grandfather wanted something from me. Regardless of the fact that I had distanced myself as much as possible, Caius was trying to suck me back in like an infectious parasite. I was naive before, but this time I knew better and wasn't willing to risk the life I'd built for myself

So how did I keep Bella in my life and keep her safe from Cullen's manipulation? I wasn't sure, and until I was, I would have to keep her at arms length.

For her sake and for my own.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

The next morning was a rough start. We'd been up several times the night before, so I didn't get more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep. There was a point in the night when we'd returned to the station and headed toward our dreary dorm beds that I thought about just staying up. I hadn't had any sleep until that point, and my mind was filled with all things Bella related. I figured, fuck it, might as well stay up, but at some point, my eyes drifted shut and I slept for the next three hours fitfully.

My alarm was set to go off at six in the morning, giving me enough time to start the coffee pot and get breakfast on the stove for the incoming crew. It was this part of the job I hated the most, but I was able to drag my leaden ass out of bed and into the kitchen without falling over in exhaustion.

I padded down the cold hallway, the freezing concrete below my bare feet adding yet another discomfort as I walked swiftly. Once in the kitchen, my body reacted on automatic, getting the familiar ingredient for the industrial sized coffee pot and starting the liquid tar a brewing.

I heard a noise behind me and turned to see the captain sitting at the kitchen table, his head on the hard wood a soft snore coming out of his half opened mouth. He was surrounded by reports from the calls. It seemed he'd fallen asleep trying to complete his paperwork sometime during the night. I shook my head in amusement as I turned back toward the coffee pot. I guessed every position in this career had its ups and downs, mine being a slave to the kitchen and three men's hungry appetites, the captain had mountains of paperwork and procedures he had to muddle through.

The sputtering of the large coffee pot sizzled and sprayed as it came to life, and my jumbled mind turned toward the refrigerator to grab the eggs and milk for breakfast.

"Cullen? What time is it?" I heard the Captain say behind me, his voice groggy and hoarse.

"Around six in the morning, Cappy," I told him through a yawn of my own. I glanced pointedly at the paperwork surrounding him. "Are those the reports from the night calls?"

"Yeah," he responded, stretching his arms over his head. He had to be sore from sleeping like that, and the groan he let out as he massaged his neck indicated my assumption had been correct. "You know, I'm really getting sick of running calls to that damn Kings Building."

"Is it scary that I don't remember going to the Kings building last night?" I asked as I cracked another egg into a bowl for pancakes. The Captains chuckled as he shuffled through a couple of his reports.

"If you were driving the rig last night, I'd say yes. But since you weren't, I'd say that type of delirium is totally normal."

"And that statement right there is why I will never promote," I replied as I tossed the empty eggshell into the trash.

"Too bad," the Captain replied absentmindedly as he shuffled his papers. "You'd make a great Captain one day."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, truly curious of his opinion. Out of all the people in my life there were a few that I really took stock in their advice. Jeff Banner was one of them, at least where my future as a fireman was concerned.

"You have the heart, the brains. You're a straight shooter and you can think on your feet," he replied, still looking over his documents as if his words were a casual thought. "But the biggest reason that I know you'd be a kick ass leader is that out of all the men I've worked with in my twenty years in service, I know, without a shadow of doubt, there is no one else I want on the front lines. You'd be the guy I'd want to pull me out of a fire."

I stopped my actions mid-crack, glancing over to the man who had said the most complimentary, profound words any one had ever given me regarding my work. I was stunned he'd say something so kind, and he did it without a second thought, as if it was a well-known fact.

I thought about my job and the people I worked with, countless calls running across my mind. From the children I'd helped rescue, to the fires I'd fought, all with the tireless men and women on the force. Each time a sacrifice, each time doing what I loved. There was honor in what we did, and for someone – one of my peers – to recognize that part of me was profound. I cleared my throat of the sudden emotion clogging my airway, and cracked the last egg into the bowl.

"Thanks, Cappy," I said, sincerely meaning it.

"Uh huh," he replied absentmindedly, his attention drawn to the paper in his hand. "Do you know that this is the tenth call we've run this month alone to that damn building?"

I looked over at him questioningly, and then turned to ladle a final circle of pancake batter onto the griddle. "Really?" I asked, wiping my hands on a dish towel as I made my way to where he was sitting.

"It sure as shit is," the Captain replied, shuffling between several reports of faulty fire alarms and crappy wiring. "And every time we're sent there on a false call, the owner is fined. It would just save them some damn money if they got their shit fixed."

"What was wrong last night?" I asked, cringing that I didn't know the answer. I probably slept in the rig while the Captain and Jasper checked out the call, Emmett snoozing right beside me.

"Just an error in their detector line," the Captain replied. "But last week, another shift was called out for a faulty wiring system that was smoking in one of the walls."

"Wow," I said, shocked that none of these issues had been addressed.

"Yeah. That owner is lucky I wasn't on shift that night," Captain Banner replied. "With all the fake calls we've run there, I might have overlooked it as another false alarm."

I nodded in agreement. "Who's the owner?" I asked, glancing over his shoulder to the paperwork.

"Don't know," he said. "Some corporation owns the building, probably some attempt at tax sheltering. At least, that's what my financial advisor told me to do to hide my assets. You know, that's not a bad idea. Set up a corporation so that everything you own is transferred to it. Tax free money!"

I laughed at his logic. "There's more to it than just that," I said, turning to walk back to the kitchen to check on my browning cakes. I heard a chair slide out on the linoleum flooring as Captain Banner asked me more questions on my financial knowledge.

"You know about asset sheltering?" he asked, coming into the kitchen behind me.

"Well, yeah," I said as I flipped the jacks. "I think financial prowess was part of my upbringing. You know, kinda like a prerequisite to Trust Fund Management 101."

Captain Banner laughed. "You know, I always forget that you are one of the infamous Cullens."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I replied coyly, turning to meet him fully. "If you set up a trust, you can deed your assets over to that trust, sheltering them from part of your net worth."

"But how do I get them back out if I want to sell?" Banner asked, crossing both his feet and arms as he watched me intently.

"You are the CEO of your trust," I told him. "And the beneficiary. You manage your trust's assets. Trusts are nice because you have so many options. For example, you can also have your paycheck go to your trust, and then just cut yourself a check as part of your payment as CEO."

"And what will that do?" he asked, his expression eager to learn all the tricks of the financial trade.

"Oh god, Eddie's not schooling you on the ways of the money world, is he Cappy?" Emmett asked, making his way into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I am," I told him with a glare. "And thanks for getting your ass up to help me with your half of the chores, you asshole."

"What? I was tired!" Emmett replied, taking a sip from his black coffee.

"Edward, you should know by know that Emmett will never get up and do his part of the work," Jasper drawled as he strolled into the kitchen, his hair wet from his recent shower. "It's not in his nature," he finished, giving Emmett a small wink.

"Yeah, and fuck you too," Emmett retorted back. "I do my share of the work around here. I just don't get up at the ass crack of dawn like Eddie, here."

We heard the front door slam and a rumble of gruff voices echoing down the corridor.

"Next shift is here!" Emmett exclaimed like a giddy child, slamming the rest of his coffee down like a shot and picking up his duffle bag he'd left in the hallway. "Laters!" he said as he headed for the exit. "Jazz, let's go! I need to get to my woman!"

"Alice is picking me up," Jasper told him as he sipped his own mug of liquid tar.

"Cool!" Emmett replied, hoisting his bag over his shoulder. "See you at home?" he asked me.

"Uh, yeah," I said. "I'm going to head there in a bit."

"Sweet! Later chickens!" Emmett called as he left out into the parking lot. Captain Banner grabbed his own bag of stuff to leave, asking if we could continue our financial tutorial on the next shift. I nodded my agreement as he headed toward the door.

I grabbed a hot pancake from the griddle and rolled it up like a burrito. Jasper watched me as I stuffed my makeshift breakfast treat with a strip of bacon, a sausage roll, and topped it off with a pass of maple syrup.

"Disgusting," Jasper muttered as I shoved the whole thing into my mouth, a satisfied smirk on my face as I watch my friend squirm with distaste. I looked at Jasper closer then, noticing his newly showered hair and a large suitcase at his feet.

"You and Alice going somewhere?" I asked as I poured my own mug of coffee.

"Yeah. I'm taking her to a B&B upstate for a couple days."

"Nice," I nodded. "Any occasion?"

"Nah, I just wanted to spend some time with her," he replied. "You know, get away from the city and just be alone for a while."

"You take a day off?" I asked, knowing that if he did take a day of vacation, Jasper Whitlock was hook, line, and sinker. He'd never taken a day off. A workaholic would be an understatement where he was concerned.

"Yeah," he replied, his cheeks tingeing a slight color of pink. "I took a couple off. I don't know if we are going to be gone that long, but I wanted to just relax…you know?"

"Good for you," I told him, meaning it. I was glad he was finally taking some much needed time off, and that he found a girl like Alice to spend his free time with made it all the better.

"What about you and Bella?" he asked. "You guys doing anything special?"

"Ah, no," I said, turning away from him to put my empty mug in the sink. "I think I'm just going to take it easy today. I work the next three again, so…"

"You do?" Jasper asked, surprise in his tone.

"Yeah," I replied, my tone evasive. If anyone could see through my diversion, it would be Jasper, and I really didn't want to start a conversation involving the reasons why I was sheltering myself behind my job.

"You know, Bella is something special," he started after several moments of awkward silence, my gaze toward the sink as I thoroughly washed my used coffee mug. "But she's not going to wait around for you to get your shit together."

"Jasper," I said warningly.

"I'm just saying, friend. Don't do the classic Edward move. You'll regret it."

"And what move would that be?" I asked as I whirled around to glare at him, my tone defensive.

"You know what I'm talking about," he replied, looking at me pointedly. "I don't know what shit you got brewing in your head, but you cannot let your relationship suffer because someone is getting too close to you."

"You don't know anything," I spat back at him, taking a towel from the rack and drying my hands roughly.

"I know that you let insecurities about your family affect your relationships," he answered, cutting through all my bullshit to the real problem at hand. "You used to do that shit all the time in high school, before you became the proverbial college playboy."

"I did not," I told him. "I barely knew anything about my fucked up family back then."

"But you knew about what your parents went through," he argued gruffly. "You knew what your grandfather did. Don't be afraid to let her in, Edward."

"What if their bullshit hurts her, Jasper?" I asked through a whispered breath, glancing around the room to make sure we weren't overheard. "What if my grandfather's agenda gets to her?"

"Then you figure it out together," he told me, like the answer was obvious. It probably was, but I was set in my own wayward thoughts about it all. "Bella is smart and determined, and I'd hate to be Caius if he went after your relationship," Jasper chuckled softly.

He came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and looked at me dead in the eye. "She's it for you," he said calmly, confidently. "I can see it in the way you look at her. You've loved that girl from the moment you heard her sing, and that kind of love doesn't come around twice in life."

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

~ Bella ~

I stared at my cell phone for several minutes, wishing like Hell I could really talk to Edward. I'd spoken to him, but I didn't really get to talk to him, to get through to the Edward I'd known before. Our vague conversation left me feeling a little apprehensive, and I didn't like that fact one bit.

I knew that it was really hard for Edward to confide in me about his parents. Gosh, to have them die under such a horrible circumstances must have been difficult to admit, let alone deal with the ramifications of it at such a young age. I could see it in his eyes as he retold their story: the longing, the deception, the emotions he had yet to confront even to this day.

And as the days stretched after his emotional confession, I could see him pulling away from me. Whether he did it intentionally or not, I didn't know, but I didn't like it. I wanted him to talk to me about it, but I felt if I pushed the subject, let him know that I could tell what he was doing, it would make him pull away that much quicker. I loved him, more than anyone I'd ever loved in my life, and I didn't want our relationship to end for any reason. He had some issue he needed to work out, and I understood that; I just hoped he'd come to me to talk about them instead of putting me on a shelf.

He just needed to come to that conclusion himself, I reasoned as I stared at my phone, wishing like Hell he'd call me back.

With a large sigh, I set my phone down on the nightstand, glancing around my quiet house for some kind of answer to our growing problems. My biggest fears reared their ugly heads in the silence of my home, leaving me with nagging thoughts of failure and certain doom. I was scared because I knew that it was way too early in our relationship for issues like this to come up. I loved Edward, and I knew he loved me, but would that be enough to keep us together when doubt and his family issues threatened to tear us apart?

I stood up from my bed and made my way into the bathroom, trying to make sense out of my concerns and wayward thoughts. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I could see the sadness in my eyes making a reappearance, something that had been dormant for such a long time now that I'd found Edward. The prospect of losing that spark that had grown inside me thanks to my sexy 'Green Eyes' made me decide right then and there that I wouldn't let it ruin what we had. I wouldn't let his family win.

Gathering up my resolve and my old guitar case, I slipped on my red boots and headed out the door, driving the short drive to the one place I knew I could drown my worries in.

Big Eds'…

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

The crowd was thick with people just getting off their work day and seeking a few minutes of solace behind a mug of beer. It was perfect for me, the kind of crowd that could really relate to the genre of music I had floating in my head on the drive over.

I felt like singing something from the heart, something sultry with a slight edge to it. Maybe some Melissa Etheridge or a little Sheryl Crow. The only problem was, as it so happened, it wasn't Open Mic night. It had never been a problem before, but it seemed that most of Ed's patrons were enjoying the tunes playing from his old jukebox.

"Bella!" Big Ed saw me walk in and left a group of older women he was chatting with. He held his arms out wide in the fatherly way he did, and as soon as I was enveloped by his massive tree trunk-like limbs, I let a little air escape in a relieving sigh.

"Hey Papa Bear," I said in his buttoned-up shirt, his comfort something I'd needed more in that moment than even my trusty guitar.

"What's going on with you, Darlin'" he asked in his southern drawl. "We haven't seen you for a while now. Jimmy and I thought you'd gone and gotten yourself hitched without telling us."

I giggled, pulling back so I could look into his warm eyes. "You know I'd never do that," I told him with little admonishment. "Besides, if you weren't there, who'd give me away?"

"Careful, before you give a grown man the sniffles," he said with a belly laugh, pulling me with him as he made his way toward the bar. "Yo, Jimmy! Look what the cat done drug in!"

Jimmy looked up from his post at the bar. He'd been talking to a young brunette, probably fixing to hook up with her after his shift, but when he looked up to see me, he smiled and left her in mid-sentence.

"Bella!" he said excitedly, coming around the bar to wrap me in a huge hug. "Hey baby girl. Where ya been?" He lifted me off my feet and twirled me a little despite my protest. He set me down on my feet and I glared at him playfully.

"I swear, you two are acting like it's the Second Coming," I told them, straightening my shirt that had gone askew as a result of Jimmy's 'Bella, The Doll' time.

"Well it has been a while," Jimmy said with a meaningful look. "You out chasing that tail, woman?"

"And that'd be my cue to leave," Big Ed said, hightailing it back to the ol' Betties he liked to prowl through. His words, not mine…

I swatted Jimmy on the shoulder. "Look at that, you cad. You made Big Ed uncomfortable."

"Oh, he's not uncomfortable. He's just looking out for his own piece of action tonight."

"That. Is. Disgusting," I told him, my nose scrunching up in disgust. Jimmy looked at me for a moment. It wasn't so much as a look, more like a perusal than anything else, and as the seconds ticked by, his expression became more leering.

"What?" I asked, my perv-o-meter flying off the charts.

"You've had sex," he said to me with a knowing expression, making my perv-o-meter flash and ding a high score.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, my eyebrow rising in challenge.

"You get that rosy complexion when you have an adequate supply of orgasms," he told me matter-of-factly, making me look around me to see if his comment was overheard.

"Shut up," I told him through gritted teeth. "Besides, you have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yeah I do. You used to do that when we'd have —" I cut him off with a pointed look. "Well, anyway, you look great."

"Thanks," I responded in a flat tone.

"No really, Bella. You look hot!" He looked me over again as I watched him incredulously. "You seeing anyone?"

"Yes I am, as a matter of fact. And why are you even asking me that? It didn't turn out so well last time, and who was that girl you were talking to down at the bar. Don't you think I didn't see you flirting and working up your game. Typical Jimmy…"

"Hey now," he said, his hands coming up in a defensive gesture. "Time out chickadee. You could have stopped at 'yes, I'm seeing someone'."

"Sure," I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I shook my head.

"Is he treating you well?" Jimmy asked, his tone becoming more serious.

"Um, yeah. He is," I said, not willing to meet his eye at the moment. It wasn't a lie. For the most part, Edward treated me like a princess. It was just we'd had our first fight and never really got to talk about it. With his revelation about his parents, our issues kind of took a back seat. Or they were all related, I couldn't really tell. In any case, Jimmy seemed to see me balk, and his eye brows lifted before he called me out on it.

"So if he treats you so well, why are you here to sing your sorrows away?"

"That's not why I'm here," I denied.

Jimmy laughed. "Bella, I've known you for what, five years now? There is only one reason you get up in front of that crowd, and that is to put your emotions into music."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about it," I told him decisively.

"You don't have to," he said with a chuckle and a condescending pat on my shoulder. "The music will tell me all about it."

"Fuck off," I told him as he made his way back toward the bar, an outright guffaw trailing in his wake.

Big Ed set up the stage for me real quick, placing a stool in the front and tuning up the sound system. He drew the attention of the crowd and introduced me, boosting a little bit too much, but it was his custom when it came to his 'Lil' Darlin'

That night I did five songs I had buzzing in my head and on my fingertips, finishing with "I'm the Only One" and "My Favorite Mistake". It felt good to have my Dreadnaught in my hands. The familiar strings and pick transported me to some place of solitude and harmony, where things made sense and all of the bullshit was dumped like trash on the wayside. I could feel my shoulders relax as I played; the frustration and the fear melting away with every note I sang, every chord I stroked.

I took a seat at the bar, taking a glass of my daddy's favourite whiskey from Jimmy, ignoring his pointed looks as a result of my song selection. I wasn't going to play into his theory of my music speaking my mood. I just sang what I felt, I meant I played what I was feeling…

Damn…

It was after my little impromptu concert where I started to feel the after effects of my singing. It was almost like a euphoric high, as least, that was the only thing I could compare it to. And once again, I could think without all the extra junk getting in the way.

The fact of the matter was I loved Edward, and I was willing to fight for him. I'd fight his grandfather, I'd fight his grandmother, but most importantly, I'd fight Edward himself for our future. He was so wrapped up in his own fears and insecurities that I knew he was sabotaging us from the inside out. The only way I could combat that was to be the understanding girlfriend and take a step aside when he needed me to. That didn't mean I was going to lie down and take his neglect easily, but I'd give him his time to sort things out on his own. And if he didn't take his head out of his ass soon, well then, he'd have a fight on his hands.

"I've never heard a voice like that," I heard a man's voice say from beside me, and my innards cringed at the familiar scene. "You are quite talented."

"Look pal —" I began, but stopped immediately, recognizing the person behind the voice. "James? James Cannon?"

"Bella, right?" he said, his smile wide and genuine.

"Yeah. We met at the —"

"At the benefit Gala, right," he said, taking my outstretched hand and shaking it politely.

"How are you doing?" I asked, feeling a little foolish and awkward.

"I'm good," he nodded in reply. "Just enjoying the off season."

"Right, right… Do you come here often?" I asked, immediately cringing at my cliché conversational piece.

James laughed at my discomfort. "No, I don't. As a matter of fact, this is my first time."

"Well, fancy meeting you here!" I said in jest, sounding like a complete idiot once again.

"What are the odds?" he said, playing along with my attempt at bad humor. "I have to say, though, you have an amazing voice."

"Oh, thank you," I replied, feeling my face heat at his compliment.

"Why don't you go professional?" he asked, his expression truly curious. "Make a real career out of it. God knows you have the talent, and the looks."

"Thanks," I said again, the color in my face deepening once more. "I just sing for a hobby."

"Yeah, but you could be brilliant," he said again, watching me blush and squirm with his compliments.

"So, how did you enjoy the Gala?" I asked, changing the subject quickly. "I didn't get a chance to see you again that evening."

"It was fun," he replied. "But I have to be honest, I was slightly disappointed."

"Oh really? Why?"

"Well, I'd been hoping that some exotically beautiful and seductively enchanting brunette would come bid on me." I giggled at his overtly exaggerated description. "You see, I was up for the silent auction, and I would have loved to spend my time with someone of interest. Imagine my disappointment when I was won by an old broad who talked incessantly about her five cats she had at home." I laughed outright at that, enjoying the horrified expression on his face as he relived his experience.

"Not your dream date, I'm sure," I laughed.

"Not even close," he confirmed through a chuckle. "But I was hoping it would've been you," he said, his tone becoming more serious.

"I don't think I could've afforded you," I told him jokingly, trying to keep the mood light.

"Oh well, I wouldn't have charged you," he said in mock seriousness. "You could've had this milk for free."

"Oh, but then what would the Cullens have said?" I asked, placing my hand on my chest in a shocked motion, liking that he was taking my hint.

"Aw, they have enough money to rule a small country," he replied with a dismissive bat of his hand. "They could've paid for our date."

"Well, shoot; if they were paying we should've gone! We could've got a real treat out of those money bags."

James laughed with me for a moment or two before he took a sip of the beer he'd been nursing. "We can still go out on that date, you know. This time, I'll treat."

"Well, not too sure what my boyfriend would say about that," I said with a slight tilt of my head, not wanting to let him down too hard.

"Damn," he swore softly. "Why are all the gorgeous ones taken?"

I laughed. "Hmmm, it might just be your luck?" I offered sweetly, earning me a playful glare from his direction.

"How long have you guys been dating?" he asked, his expression seeming to be truly interested.

"A couple months," I told him. "We met at the Gala, actually."

"Damn it," he swore, hitting the bar beneath him in exasperation. "Before or after we talked that night?"

"After," I said with slight cringe.

"I knew it," he said derisively. "I should have blown off that silent auction and swept you off your feet."

"Oh, I don't know about that," I told him in a serious tone. "I may look small, but I weigh damn near close to a horse. I don't think you would've managed."

"Um, star football player. Hello," he said, pointing to himself.

"Oh yes, how silly of me. I forgot you are a football stud." I replied with a little twirl of my finger.

"Hey, I like this stud talk," he said with a smirk.

"What? You don't get enough of it in the locker room?" I asked jokingly.

"Naw, not really. Only when the docs come in for our annual physical. Then it's all about the studness…"

We spent several hours sitting at the bar, laughing and talking about everything under the sun. Before we knew it, Big Ed's was closing for the night and we were being kicked out onto the street. We parted ways with promises of keeping in touch and hopes of getting together soon. He made me promise to call him when I played here again, I held him to his offer of a couple tickets for the next season.

On the drive home I felt more in control of myself. I felt like I knew what I wanted and was going to go for it. James Cannon's appearance had solidified everything in my mind.

Because if I could turn down a gorgeous piece of man meat like that, what I had with Edward had to be love.

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**AN: Thank you to all of you who are still hanging on to this story. There are only a couple chapters left, so this time will be bitter sweet for me. **

**Thanks to Neliz and Hibbleton for sticking with me through all of this. Both of them have talked me down from a ledge, and you all have them to thank for the end of this story. **


	31. Chapter 30 The Problem With Women

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

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Chapter 30 - The Problem with Women

~ Edward ~

I left work later than I planned. Instead of filing right out of there on the shirttails of everyone else, I found myself needing to decompress after my conversation with Jasper. I knew he meant well, but he didn't really have a full picture of what was going on. He didn't understand all the aspects I had to consider, and that wasn't his fault.

I knew that I was procrastinating getting home, putting off my self-imposed day of solitude. Part of me really wanted to call Bella and take her up on her offer to come over for lunch and a movie. Another part of me wanted to just keep her at a distance until I figured out how to get my grandfather to back off.

Over the past three days that I'd worked in house I had seven missed calls from my grandfather's personal assistant, Victoria. She'd left me messages, but I only had to listen to the first to get an understanding of what the others would contain.

"Edward, this is Vicky. Your grandfather has asked me to call you and let you know that your presence is required at his home on Thursday at one o'clock. Please, for the sake of my job, don't be late."

I was sure the other six voicemails were reminders of my grandfather's summons of me, and a few entailed begs and pleas for me to show up. Today just happened to be Thursday and there was no way in Hell I was showing up there. I said my piece to him and my grandmother the day I left and I wouldn't add more fuel to the fire, especially when he knew about Bella.

I didn't think he'd try to go after her, send out a team to snuff her out or anything, but I knew that he'd plan something to hurt her. Making it seem like I was unfaithful or wasn't serious about our relationship, whatever it took to get her out of the picture wasn't beyond Caius. He was conniving, especially when he didn't get what he wanted. Those old wheels had been turning in his head the day I saw him at his house, and I refused to be a part of whatever he planned.

I got home a little after nine in the morning, plenty of time for Emmett to get his shit taken care of before he headed over to Rosalie's for the day. So when I walked in the door and heard an incessant banging sound, punctuation with sounds of passion and mewling, I growled internally. I guessed Rosalie and Emmett had set up shop at the townhouse. One would think that when I told him I'd see him at home he'd know not to start the party until he was somewhere out of hearing range, but out of all my friends, Emmett was the least shy about his sex life. And according to Bella, Rosalie fit that bill just as well.

Perfect…

I made my way to my bedroom, trying not to disturb the passion in the other room. I doubted a stampeding bull could've stopped them at this point, but I didn't want to be caught in an awkward situation. For me, not them.

"Eddie!" Emmett exclaimed as he came out of his bedroom, only clothed in a pair of his boxer briefs. I turned to look at him, then sheltered my eyes quickly, for his little soldier was still at attention as if he'd just shot off his ammo and was looking to reload.

"Oh gawd, Emmett!" I cried, thinking my poor eyes would be scarred for life. They'd just recovered from the last time they'd been subjected to Emmett's man hood on parade: Last Fourth of July, house full of friends and co-workers, Emmett getting it on with a petite redhead in my bathroom. Yeah, to say I was pissed would be an understatement.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, clamping his large mitt down on my shoulder. I immediately pulled away from his grasp, cringing at the thought of where his hands might have been only moments ago. By the sound of Rosalie's satisfied screams, one could only assume.

"I'm going to my bedroom, numb nuts. What the hell are you doing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said with a wag of his eyebrows. I shuddered minutely, turning a heated glare on him.

"You knew I was coming home, asshole. Can't you do…._that_…somewhere else?"

"No can do, bro," he said in mock seriousness, rubbing his belly in a satisfied manner. "My Rosie couldn't keep her hands off me."

"Well, can you keep it down a notch or two? I don't need any more visuals than I'm getting right now."

"Sure thing, bro," Emmett said, reaching to clasp my shoulder once again. I successfully dodged his hand this time, and Emmett backed away, heading toward his bedroom. After the door closed, I heard an audible crash, followed by a muffled giggle that slowly melted into a satisfied moan. Shaking my head in exasperation, I headed to my room for some solace.

It was short lived. As the banging and shouts of ecstasy became impossible to ignore, despite my iDock blaring a heavy metal rock song, I had to get out of there. I grabbed my gym bag and headed down stairs, hoping that the irons and a long jog on the treadmill could at least clear my head enough so that I could think.

The gym was pretty empty, most people already starting their work day. I swiped my gym pass and headed toward the locker room, keeping my head down as to not meet the eyes of anyone I knew. In this part of town, it was not uncommon for someone to recognize me, whether for my Cullen status or my involvement with the department, there was always a friendly face wanting to chat.

I was almost to the locker room when a familiar voice pulled me up short.

"I totally did not sound like that!" I heard Bella laugh, her voice hitting me hard. I turned to find her, my eyes following the path of her voice. I was surprised to see her, and even more surprised to see her talking to another guy, her tone as flirtatious as his leering expression.

"You did!" he was saying, nudging her bare shoulder with his overly sized paw. It was then that I noticed what Bella was wearing: short little gray gym shorts that barely covered her ass, a black sports bra, and that was it. What the hell was she thinking?

I was seeing red.

"I swear, if I would have closed my eyes last night and just concentrated on your voice, I would have sworn I was listening to Carrie Underwood."

_Last night? What the fuck?_

"I like to think I have a tad more soul in my tone than that," she argued, her tiny hands going to her sweet little hips, drawing my attention to her rounded curves, and mine wasn't the only gaze that followed her movements.

"Definitely more soul," he said, his eyes lifting to meet hers in a conspiratorial smirk. I'd seen enough.

I stalked toward them, my eyes zoning in on the asshole who felt it was okay to touch and ogle my girl. He saw me approaching, his eyes widening slightly as comprehension dawned on his face. It was then that I recognized the guy: James Cannon, leading rusher for the damn Seattle Seahawks. What the Hell was he doing here?

Bella seemed to notice James had stopped his flirtation, for she turned to see where his gaze was fixed. When she saw me approaching her face lit up with a genuine smile that quickly melted away to a look of concern in response to my heated glare.

"Edward," she said in a timid tone, making my suspicion flare. "What are you doing here?"

She wrapped her arms around my waist, giving me a slight sideways hug. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, holding her close possessively.

"What do most people do here, Bella?" I asked rhetorically, my tone sharp. She balked slightly, before she put on an uncomfortable smile, trying to save face.

"Edward, this is James Can—"

"I know who he is," I interrupted, feeling her pull away from me slightly to look at me with an angry little glare on her face at my rude behavior. "What are you doing out here, Cannon? Don't you guys have your own training center up at the stadium?"

"Edward," James smiled tightly. "Nice to see you again."

"Yeah, likewise," I replied without a trace of truth. "You didn't answer my question. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

"Edward," Bella admonished in a hushed whisper.

"Well, sometimes I like to work out in a public gym," he said with a snakelike smile, his eyes gleaming with hidden agenda. "You know, give the ladies something to look at." He winked at Bella pointedly, and my vision hazed just slightly.

"Stay away from her," I growled, closing the distance between us quickly.

"Edward!" Bella cried her voice shaking slightly. "What is wrong with you?"

James took a quick glance around to make sure our little confrontation wasn't overheard. He turned a narrowed glare at me, silently warning me to stop the situation before it escalated. He looked at Bella with a tight lipped smile, making his point clear.

"It was nice to see you, Bella," James said firmly, giving her a small nod of his head before he looked at me once more, his expression falling flat. "Cullen," he said formally, not a trace of warmth to be found.

James took his leave fairly quickly without further incident, and as soon as he left our vicinity, Bella pulled away from me.

"What the hell is your problem?" she asked through a whispered yell.

"I don't want you talking to him, Bella. I don't trust him," I told her firmly.

"Don't trust him?" she asked in an incredulous tone. "Edward, what is wrong with you? There is no reason in the world that I should not talk to a friend of mine."

"A friend…" I scoffed.

"Yes, a friend. One that you completely embarrassed me in front of."

"One that you went out with last night," I accused, my eyes glaring at her to deny it.

"I didn't _go out with him_, he just happened to be at Big Ed's last night," she told me firmly, her face set in a cute little frown that had my anger dissipating rather quickly. Worry replaced the anger, concern for her safety and naivety when it came to this whole situation. She had no clue, she couldn't see the huge red flags I was seeing, and it was my job to point them out to her.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that you run into Cannon at Big Ed's last night and then here this morning?" I told her, my voice a tad bit softer than before. "Especially when neither the gym nor the bar is in the area of town where he's from?"

"What are you implying, Edward?" Bella asked, her hands going to her tiny hips once again. "You think that he's following me or something?"

"Maybe."

"That is ridiculous," she said, shaking her head in exasperation.

"It's not, Bella. You have to think about these kinds of things."

"And it couldn't possibly be just a coincidence," she said, giving me a pointed look.

"Did you mention that you were coming to the gym last night?" I asked.

"No," she answered immediately, and then her expression changed as she thought about it. "Well, I told him that I was thinking about it."

"See?"

"But I didn't tell him which gym I belonged to," she argued hotly. "He had no idea I come to this one."

"It's not hard to find the gyms where you live, Bella," I told her.

"He has no idea where I live!"

"That's easy to find out," I affirmed.

"Oh, and he just bought a membership at all the gyms in my area to see if I'd show up," she concluded sarcastically. "Come on, Edward."

"I wouldn't put it past my grandfather to hire some other guy to entice you away from me." I let my worst fear linger for a moment in the air, hoping that Bella would understand just how devious Caius could be.

She looked at me for a moment, and it was then that I recognized the sadness in her eyes. She shook her head slightly, opening her mouth as if to say something. When nothing came out, she looked down at her feet, and turned to walk out the door.

Before I registered that she'd left me standing there, she was already out the door and heading to her car. My feet carried me after her, anger spiking once again at the nerve of her to leave me standing there with my dick in my hand.

"Bella!" I yelled when she was in hearing range. She paused at her car, turning her own livid glare on me.

"No, Edward. I'm not going to sit here and listen to your hysteria."

"I'm not being hysterical, Bella. This is something my grandfather would do."

"Really? It couldn't be the fact that James is just interested in me. It has to be your conniving grandfather who'd take his time to sabotage our relationship."

"Yes!" I affirmed, wanting her to drop the sarcastic tone in her voice and see reason. "Can't you see that?"

"No, Edward I can't," Bella said, opening her door and throwing her gym bag onto the passenger seat. "If there is anyone that is sabotaging our relationship, it is you, Edward. I've tried to talk to you. I've tried to be understanding, but you are pushing me away."

"Don't try to change the subject," I told her dismissively.

"Why are _you_ here?" she asked out of the blue. I looked at her questioningly. "You told me that you weren't going to do anything but go home and rest today. When I offered to spend the day together, you shut me down. So, why are you here, Edward?"

"I had to leave the house," I told her. "Emmett and Rosalie were going at it. What's your point?"

"And you didn't think of calling me to see if I'd like to go with you?"

"I wanted to be alone," I replied without thinking. "I need time to think."

"About what, Edward? Me? Us?"

"Yeah… No… I don't know. About everything, I guess."

"Well let me make it easier for you," she said, her eyes narrowing as she glared at me. "You want to push me away, keep your little thoughts secret, fine. You got what you want. Leave me alone, don't call me."

"Bella," I said, approaching her swiftly. She got into her car and shut the door in my face, turning the engine over quickly. "Bella!" I said louder, hoping that she'd stop and listen to reason. She spared me one glance and the look in her face almost killed me. She had tears streaming down her face, her expression heartbroken. My heart sank as I watched her turn away from me, cranking the wheel of her car to make her escape.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

I didn't know where to go. I was furious, filled with rage and torment. I couldn't go home where I'd be subjected to the sounds of fornication, reminding me how royally my life was fucked to no end. I couldn't go back inside the gym, back to the scene of the crime.

I got into my car and drove aimlessly, my mind working frantically to try and make sense of what had just happened. So many emotions and thoughts rolled through my head, the least of which was understanding. I was angry at Bella, wondering what was going through her mind. I knew that I was keeping her at arm's length, but that was for her own damn good. Why couldn't she see that?

Maybe she liked the attention James had given her and felt embarrassed because she couldn't see his underlying motives. Maybe she was mad at me for bringing the obvious truth to the forefront. I just didn't understand why she was taking it out on me. Yes, a little of my reaction of seeing them together was spawned out of jealousy, but for the most part, I wanted to keep her safe. She didn't understand that James was a long-time associate of my grandfather, having played poker together and even gone into some investing on several high rises at one point. She didn't see that connection; I did. I saw James Cannon for what he was—a potential snake in the grass.

It was my job to protect her, and if I hurt her precious feelings in the process, then that was what I was willing to do to keep her safe.

I picked up my cell phone from the center console and dialed Bella's number, planning on telling her just that. Maybe she didn't understand my anger, but I would make sure that she heard me out.

It went straight to voicemail as if she'd turned off her phone. She was probably expecting my call, and it angered me even more that she planned on ignoring me.

"Bella, answer your phone," I told her message box. "We need to talk about this. He could be a potential threat, don't you see that? He's a friend of my grandfather's. Please, Bella… Just…call me when you get this."

I clicked off the phone and waited a few minutes, my car idling at a red light on one of Seattle's rainy streets. I looked up at the street post before me, seeing where my wayward mind had led me as I'd driven without care. Recognizing the particular area I was in, I'd decided to visit the one person in my life who might be able to talk me down from the precarious ledge I was walking on.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Edward, sweetheart. What a surprise!" Esme greeted, ushering me through the front door with a gracious smile. Seeing my grim face, her expression quickly fell. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," I told her as I stormed past her and into the living room, plopping myself down on the couch. My mother followed me in, a wary look on her face.

"Is it your grandfather?" she asked, her tone timid.

"Yes," I replied gruffly. "He's ruining everything."

Esme took the couple steps to the couch and sat down beside me. She placed a calming hand on my leg, which twitched and bounced in agitation.

"Edward, what happened?" she asked.

"Bella. She freaking left me!"

I relayed back to my mother the recent arguments we'd been having. I told her about the horrible things I'd said to her before my confession about my parents' deaths. I saw her stiffen slightly as I told her all the terrible things I'd replayed for Bella, all the details that were so hazy to me before, but had come back to me with such clarity as I'd retold my story.

It was when I felt a warm arm wrap around me, my mother shaking with silent sobs beside me, that I realized it was the first time I'd ever told her the details behind what happened. Carlisle knew how they died, but the both of us had spared that truth from my mother, keeping her naïve to the truth and Carlisle's theory behind it all.

"Baby," she said through her tears, her arms holding me tighter as she cried. "I am so sorry, E-Edward."

I turned from my seat and place my arms around her waist, holding my mother as she sobbed for the little boy inside that study. She whispered her love to me, her needless apologies for not saving me from that experience, her desperate pleas for me to forgive her for not knowing about it sooner. All the while I reassured her, telling her that I was fine, that it was a long time ago and I was over it.

"I told my therapist. You know the one you had me see in Forks? It wasn't like I didn't have anyone to talk to you about it. And Carlisle knew more than I did. He only told me his theory when he knew I could handle it."

"I could kill that man," she said as she pulled back from me, wiping furiously at the tears pooling under her eyes.

"He didn't tell you because he knew how much it would upset you," I told her comfortingly.

"Not for that," she said with a small shake of her head. "For telling you his theory. He should've kept that to himself."

"Why?" I asked. "It was my right to know."

"Edward, it is just a theory. He didn't have any proof."

"He had enough to draw that conclusion, Mom. And I believe it to be accurate."

"Edward," my mother said, her voice attempting to remain calm, but I could hear it quiver slightly as she said my name. "If your father honestly thought that, do you think he could stand to be around that man? He loved his sister dearly, and if his father had a hand in her death, he would tear that man limb from limb."

"Even if that put you at risk?" I asked, looking at her with a piercing gaze. She blinked a couple times, looking at me blankly, as if she was remembering something. My words had struck a chord, and her reaction solidified my resolve.

"I just have to keep her safe," I said in a soft tone, my gaze travelling to the floor as I felt the weight of my reality come crashing onto my shoulders. "She is it for me, Mom. I can feel it in my gut. But if her happiness and safety mean I have to give her up, then I'm willing to do that. She deserves better than all this bullshit."

There were several moments of pause, neither one of us speaking. I took my mother's silence as her agreement of my position, a quiet accord affirming that pushing away Bella had been the right decision.

Well, that was until I felt a swift thwack on the side of my head.

"Edward. Cullen. You. Idiot!" My mother roared, punctuating each word with a smack to my head with one of the throw pillows.

"Mom! Ouch!" I grappled with the pillow, trying to stop her sudden onslaught of unbridle fury.

"I. Raised. You. Better. Than. This," she said. Her infamous Irish anger was something I'd seen very rarely when I was younger, but my memory of those uncommon occasions were very vivid. I knew that diffusion was the only way to keep her from exploding.

"Mom, listen," I pleaded, wanting her to stop just long enough for me to explain my rationale. "I love her. I can't have her go through any more pain in her life."

"And what about her choice, Edward?" she said, slightly winded. "Where is her decision in all of this?"

"Listen, Bella doesn't understand —"

"No, you don't understand," Esme said gruffly, standing up from the couch to begin pacing in front of me. "Don't you get it, Edward? You are the one allowing your grandfather to interfere. You are allowing him in your relationship."

"I'm just looking out for her," I argued. "My grandfather would do anything to get what he wants."

"Yes, he will. But why weren't you this concerned last week?" my mother asked, her question pulling me up short.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why weren't you terrified about this possibility last week? Why are you all of a sudden convinced that your grandfather will go after Bella?"

"Because I hadn't outright told him no before," I bristled. "I rejected the future he was trying to set up with me. That pathetic marriage he was trying to stage for Tanya and he knows the biggest reason I said no was because of how I feel for Bella."

"Edward, it's more than that, and you know it." Esme came to sit back down next to me, her eyes looking at me imploringly. "Don't you think that reliving what you went through with her the other day made you think of things that you hadn't considered before?"

"I've known about this stuff for a long time," I told her honestly. "I just never had myself placed in the crossfire of my grandfather's desires."

"Your grandfather can't make you do anything," she told me firmly. "Besides the fact that Bella is the only person on this Earth who can affect you that way, if your grandfather hurt either of you, your father would come down on him like the wrath of God."

I laughed slightly at her words, imaging my well-mannered father taking a page from Esme's book and unleashing an Irish temper of his own. I knew what she said was right, all of it. I just didn't know what to do. I had a gut feeling that James was seeking Bella for a reason, that my grandfather put him up to it. Was I being paranoid?

"Let me ask you something," Esme said kindly, her anger abating completely. "If Bella was out of your life, if you two had never met, would you still object to your grandfather's wishes?"

"Yes," I answered automatically, knowing the answer to be true.

"And what do you think your grandfather would do to make you do it anyway?"

I sat there and thought for a moment, really trying to find out how he could do it. He could try to affect my career, use his political influence on the Chief to get me fired. But that would hurt his plan to get me back into Med School. I doubted U-dub would take me back if I was let go from the Department. And I really didn't think Eleazar Denali would allow his precious, debutant daughter to marry a bum.

He didn't really have control of my trust fund money, and even if he could somehow get to my money, I didn't really need it. The townhouse the guys and I lived in had been paid off for years. I lived within my means, and even on the salary of a firefighter, I did pretty well. Plus, I'd invested well over the years. Well, recently anyway.

And as far as my family went, he'd tried to control Carlisle once and his son ended up doing the complete opposite of what my grandfather wanted. Caius knew he couldn't manipulate Carlisle.

So why was I letting him manipulate me?

The sudden thought came to the forefront, realization of what I was doing overshadowing everything else. Damn, I was such a fool.

"You may have reason to be concerned, Edward. That just means you have to work harder to solidify your relationship with Bella. But living in paranoia and the 'what ifs' will cost you everything you have with that girl. And you know the guy that was flirting with her? The one who you think had ulterior motives? That is who you are going to drive her to, because despite the fact that Cannon may have been encouraged by your grandfather to get between you two, Bella is a beautiful girl. It wouldn't be long before someone else swoops in and picks her up."

I heard her words, but more so, I understood her logic. She was right. My inability to include Bella during this whole process alienated her. And today, my over-reaction pushed her away. I just hoped it wasn't for good.

"I'm scared, Mom," I admitted, a solid lump forming in my throat. "I don't want her to get hurt."

"Keeping her away from you is hurting her, Edward," my mother said, compassion lacing her words. "If Bella is truly the one, you need to trust her. Start that partnership now. Rely on her opinion and allow her to support you through this. Give her that respect. True relationships, the ones that last through all the bullshit, begin with that kind of foundation."

I stayed at my parents' home for the rest of the day, talking with my mother about Bella and our future together. I told her what I wanted with her and how much she meant to me. We talked well into the evening, and when my father came home that night, he got the Cliff's Notes version over dinner.

My father was more understanding of where I'd been coming from with my earlier behavior having been in similar situations himself. He assured me of his love for both me and Bella, promising me if any of my fears did come to fruition, he'd have our backs.

I left their home that night with a completely different outlook on the situation than before. Jasper would tan my hide if he'd knew my change of heart took a man coming after my woman, and a stern lecturing from my mother. He'd told me pretty much the same thing my mother had said, just without the beating by throw pillow.

The drive back to the townhouse was sobering. On nights like these, I'd usually spend it with Bella. Our days off together were few and far between, but I'd chose to take that time and shove it back in her face.

I picked up my cell, hoping she'd pick up this time. Maybe she'd even agree to see me, let me apologize in person. It rang several times before it went to voicemail. I didn't feel right apologizing over a message, so I hung up, deciding I'd try again when I got home.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting on my bed with my phone to my ear, hoping she'd answer once again. But like before there was no answer.

I needed to speak to her, to tell her how sorry I was. Short of showing up to her home uninvited, I didn't know how to get through to her. She was hurt and rightfully so, I just didn't know if I could sleep without telling her how awful I felt.

I pulled out my laptop and wrote Bella an email.

_Bella ~ _

_I don't know what to say. I've thought a lot about what's been going on between us and I am heartbroken. I have been pushing you away, but I thought I was doing it to keep you safe from my family._

_I can see now that my actions were wrong. Instead, I alienated you and jeopardized the only thing that matters to me in this world: your love. I've changed your perception of me. No longer am I the man you wished me to be. I'm broken and tortured, and I've allowed that to leak over to you. For that, I will be forever sorry._

_I love you more than I could ever say, and I wish I could fight for us. I wish you'd let me fight, but I know that likelihood is rare. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'm willing to work this out together. I won't let me fears about my family affect us any longer. I want to be with you more than anything, and I'm sorry for my actions. Please, Bella, call me. Tell me everything will be okay. I feel lost without you. _

_I love you,_

_Edward. _

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**AN: I figured you all would rather have the chapter tonight than me responding to reviews. I want to send out a personal thank you to all of you who reviewed kindly with the last chapter. I know Edward was hard to swallow, but he is truly under a lot of stress right now. He can't see clearly, but that's about to change. **

**Again, thanks to Hibbleton and Neliz for all of your speedy, hard work. **


	32. Chapter 31 Apologetic

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

Chapter 31 - Apologetic

~ Bella ~

I've had the privilege of experiencing true love in my life, and not just the type some women think counts the most. I had the honor of seeing a man of worth in my father, and the love he showered upon me surpassed all of my blessings.

He was a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer...

He was the one who would keep me calm at night when the evil monsters and bogeymen would prey on my tender soul. He was the one who would recite tales of valor and bravery, distracting me from a skinned knee while he compared my injury to those of the heroine in his made-up stories. He was the only person to encourage my goals in life, to take the time to discover the passion for music inside of me and feed me confidence. He was my protector, my savior, my own private cheerleader.

And in moments like this, he was the one person I missed more than anything.

I knew that if my father were alive, he would have loved Edward. Cut from the same cloth, my father would have respected Edward's need to protect me. In fact, I was sure that he would have joined arms with Edward, fighting off the heinous actions of a desperate man's needs to control his family, but my father couldn't protect me from Caius. And as is seemed, neither could Edward.

I woke the next morning feeling achy and incredibly depressed. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before; my mind was too busy going over everything that had happened.

I knew that I could never fully understand what Edward had been through. The lasting residuals from his nightmarish experience would be enough to drive anyone over the edge. I knew beforehand that Edward was tortured deep inside; I just never knew the extent of it. And to a point, I didn't think Edward did either.

When he relived that day, telling me all the details like he was purging something vile from within, I could see Edward's pain in his eyes. But more than that, I could see his fear: True, unadulterated terror. I didn't think that Edward fully realized the depth of that fear until he was able to empathize with his own belated father.

Caius had put Edward in a difficult position, and I understood that. He wanted his grandson to marry Tanya Denali and take the heat off Aro and his two idiotic sons, but when Edward shut him down, citing his love for me as one of his reasons, Edward felt he offered our relationship to his grandfather on a silver platter. He was afraid of Caius' manipulations, worried that he would somehow hurt me or take away the love we had for each other.

Thing of it was, it wasn't Caius who was changing us; it was Edward.

I knew he didn't mean to, that he was being driven by his own nightmares, but it didn't change the fact that there was a wedge being forced between us, and I didn't know how to remove it.

I could deal with a jealous boyfriend if that was all Edward's attack on James had been, but the fact of the matter was that Edward was being paranoid. He was seeing evil, dastardly motives when all James Cannon was doing was being a nice guy. He might've been interested in me, but he wasn't in league with Caius Cullen, scheming his way in to break us up.

When Edward spoke to me the way he did outside the gym, I felt a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach; not because we were in the midst of yet another fight, but because I could see him changing into someone else right before my eyes. He was scared and panicked, and he was taking it out on me. I wanted to grab and hold onto him, to tell him that everything between us would be okay, but he was making it so hard. He was his own worst enemy, and in the end, I knew that if I allowed his behavior to continue, things would just escalate to a point of no return.

And so I left. I got in my car and drove home, tears streaming down my face and my heart in my throat.

I didn't know who to turn to. I had to talk to someone, but I couldn't lean on the girls without revealing Edward's back story. It wasn't my business to tell, and their advice would only be partially beneficial if they didn't know all of the ugly, horrific details. My options were limited, seeing that only a handful of people knew the truth.

Going to his parents seemed like whispering behind Edward's back somehow. Despite the fact that Dr. Cullen had kept our personal relationship out of our working one, I didn't want to add another dimension to the whole juggling act we had to do at work, so he wasn't an option on both accounts.

I could've gone to the boys…

"Bella Bear, we're home!" Emmett's booming voice echoed from the front door, reverberating along the tile floor like it would in a concert hall.

"Shhh, Emmett. She could be asleep," I heard Rosalie chastise right before her slender, unexplainably beautiful for six o'clock in the morning frame came tip-toeing into the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Bells. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep," I mumbled groggily, my concentration shifting back to the cooling mug of coffee sitting in front of me. I'd been staring into it for at least half an hour, trying to organize my thoughts, attempting to come up with some kind of plan.

I could see Rosalie and Emmett give each other meaningful looks out of my periphery. They were having some kind of silent conversation, probably drawing straws for who would talk to the sad sack in the middle the kitchen. Emmett must have lost.

"I'm going to go grab a quick shower, babe," Rosalie told Emmett, planting a kiss on his cheek before giving me a slight smile. She left the room with a quick look back at Emmett. It seemed to be laced with uncertainty, and it was then that I realized their silent conversation before seemed to have been about Emmett telling her to get lost more or less. That theory was only confirmed when Emmett took a stool beside me and sat down, his expression expectant, as if he was waiting for me to suddenly start blathering.

"Don't you work today?" I asked him, my voice trying for petulance.

"Rosie's going to drop me off on the way to the hospital," he told me blandly, his tone hinting that he wasn't going to be deterred by my less than cordial attitude. I let out a deep sigh.

"I don't want to talk about it, Em," I told him bluntly, casting him a look that meant business.

"You need to," he replied, not shying away from my expression. He was probably right. No, I knew he was. As I looked into his honestly caring eyes, I let out another breath, and started from the beginning.

"He's ruining everything," I started to say, my gaze travelling back to my cold coffee mug.

"You need to clarify, darlin'," he told me when my statement remained unexplained. "'He' could mean a great many people."

"Edward," I said exasperatingly. "He's completely taken things way out of proportion and I don't know how to stop him!"

"Wow, slow down. Explain what happened."

I told Emmett about how my confrontation with Edward the other day evolved into him telling me about his parents. Emmett already knew how manipulative Caius could be, so I felt comfortable relaying to him Edward's concerns without divulging the fact that Edward had witnessed his parents' deaths first hand. I confided in him my fears of how things were escalating to a breaking point, and of how scared I was that Edward was pushing me away.

"You should see him, Em. He is so paranoid. It's like he feels everyone is out to get us."

"Bella, I've known Edward for a long ass time," Emmett said after listening to me for several minutes, silently absorbing all of my concerns. "For a while there he lived in this little fabricated bubble, surrounding himself with the superficial."

I looked at Emmett questioningly. To me, that didn't seem like the Edward I knew. Emmett explained.

"Edward was young when he realized what his connections to the Cullen name could bring him," Emmett said, his tone more sober than I'd ever heard it. "He was raised for the better part of his life very simply. Yes, his earlier years with his birth family were among the glitz and glam, but Elizabeth tried to keep him as grounded as long as possible when she was alive. Then when he moved to Forks with Carlisle and Esme, he lived a much less glamorous life. When Edward left for college, he discovered exactly what being a Cullen meant."

"So, he partied in college," I said dismissively. "He's told me about all of this, Emmett. I know he wasn't a saint."

"You are missing the point," Emmett said calmly. "Edward went from living a relatively sheltered life in Forks to having it all overnight. And although he never held his grandfather's favor, he had his approval; living the playboy lifestyle while building a reputable future as a physician fit the Cullen model to a 'T'."

"The life he was living was superficial, intangible. He was miserable and didn't know it because he was numb to what was lying under the surface. The only thing that kept him from staying on that course was Tanya's affair. The key factor that revealed his cultivated façade was that he didn't get upset when he walked in on Tanya banging the pool boy. He was completely apathetic. After that, he changed. He took a step back and re-evaluated his life, made the changes as _he_ saw fit."

"He changed for the better," I stated, Emmett nodding his head in agreement.

"He became the person he was before; the one who wasn't influenced by the Cullen name. He became my old friend again."

"You see, that's what I don't get," I said exasperatedly. "He knew how conniving his grandfather could be before he led that lifestyle, and still he let that affect him. He never had any overwhelming fears of it ultimately ruling his life like he does now. Why the sudden change?"

"But he didn't have you, Bella," Emmett answered imploringly.

"So his relationship with me is making him see in black and white? Either his grandfather will come after us or he will send someone else to do the job? That's ludicrous, Emmett."

"First of all, Edward didn't learn about some things his grandfather may have been involved with until after he'd split from Tanya. Carlisle kept him sheltered from that."

"His mob theory," I said knowingly. Emmett looked surprised that I knew about it. He seemed to think for a minute before I asked a question that had been bugging me.

"Then why tell him at all?" I asked. "Why did Carlisle feel the need to fill his head with those ideas if he wanted to protect him in the first place?"

"The reason Carlisle told Edward about his mob theory was because, at the time, Edward was investing some of his and Tanya's money in the Volturi Corporation, the business the Cullen Group merged with based on Ed Sr.'s intel. When Edward split with Tanya, she asked that they keep their joint investment in place. At first, he agreed. Carlisle found out about it and things were said. He pulled out the next day. In fact, he pulled all of his investments in the companies his grandfather had suggested."

"Looking back on it now, perhaps Carlisle unknowingly planted a seed in his head, and now his imagination is running away with him. Or maybe he knows more than he's saying and he has a reason to be overly concerned."

My attention piqued. "What makes you say that?"

Emmett shrugged. "If there is anything I know about Edward is that he has a good head on his shoulders. His actions may seem erratic and irrational to you and me, but there is a reason for it. Maybe there's something that Carlisle told him that has him overly cautious. Maybe Caius warned him with some kind of threat he hasn't divulged, I don't know."

I sighed, frustrated at the possibility that Emmett might be right. If he was, if Edward was keeping something from me that involved a threat against our relationship, I was going to be mad.

But yet, there was a part deep inside of me that knew he wouldn't do that any longer. Yes, he'd kept things from me before but that was because we weren't at that point in our relationship yet. After our emotionally laden conversation about all the ugly parts of his past, there would be no reason for him to keep things from me. He was being open, revealing all the things that would've sent me screaming for the hills.

"No," I said confidently. "I don't think it's anything like that. I just think he's lost inside his head right now. Maybe he just needs time to sort through it all…" My voice sounded melancholy even to my own ears, and I caught my gaze travelling back to the familiar mug, sitting in front of me barely touched, cold as the frigid morning air around me.

"Don't give up on my boy, yet," Emmett encouraged, sending a small smile of comfort my way. I nodded. "He's different with you. Happy."

"I'm won't," I resolved, and somewhere in my heart, I knew I never could. Edward was a part of me now, and despite his asinine reasons to push me away, I couldn't let him do it any longer. I'd hold on with both hands through this bumpy ride, and if he told me to let go, I'd tell him to shove it and hold on that much harder. He was worth it…worth the fight against both Caius and himself. And I was worth it, too.

Rosalie and Emmett left sometime later. I knew Emmett was heading to the station, on his way to see Edward, but I pleaded with him before he left not to mention that we'd talked. I didn't want Edward to know that others were involved in this whole mess. I wanted to keep it all between us as much as I could. He deserved his privacy, and with things being discussed out in the open, I didn't want to inadvertently give his family a reason to start sniffing around us.

I spent most of the morning straightening up the house, trying to keep my mind occupied with mundane tasks. I cleaned up my room, the bathrooms, and the kitchen. When I reached the living room I saw that my phone was alight with a voicemail message. I debated listening to it for a moment, knowing that it was probably Edward again. He'd called several times in the night, but I'd let it go to voicemail. I needed time to think, and so did he.

Reluctantly, I picked up my phone and pressed the assigned speed dial that would send me to my inbox.

"_Hi Bella, it's Candy from the hospital, wanting to know if you could come in and work the swing shift today. We are short and the ED is in danger of going on closure. Let us know if you're available. Thanks."_

I waited, my heart hammering hard in my chest, knowing that I was probably going to hear the voice on the other end of the line tell me that I had another unheard message. It was probably going to be Edward, his recording left last night.

"_New message,"_ her voice sounded, and my heart jumped as I recognized Edward's heartbroken tone.

"Bella, answer your phone!" My eyes clamped shut at the desperation in his voice. "We need to talk about this. He could be a potential threat, don't you see that? He's a friend of my grandfather's. Please, Bella… Just…call me when you get this."

A friend of his grandfather's? He couldn't be talking about James, could he? Just as I was about to hit the directory button to find his programmed number, the phone vibrated in my hand.

"Hello?" I answered without looking

"Hi, Bella. It's Candy. I was hoping you got my message earlier."

"Uh, yeah. I just did, actually," I said, pushing away the supreme disappointment that the caller wasn't who I wished it to be.

"I hate to call you again, but we just closed the ED."

"No, no. That's okay…" I trailed off my mind filling with countless questions.

"So… do you think you can help us out?" Candy asked again when I stayed silent in attempt to organize my thoughts.

"Uh, sure. Yeah. No problem." I answered automatically, hoping that the distraction of work was just what I needed at the moment.

"Great! Can you come in around one?"

"Yeah, no problem…" I hung up the phone and stared at it for a couple minutes, trying to make it ring with my mind.

"This is ridiculous," I told myself. "Just call him back. Tell him that you understand."

I ran my finger over the face of my phone, releasing the touch screen. It was then that I saw on my email icon that I had a new message. It was rare anyone sent me something beside a bunch of junk mail, but I hit the little envelope anyway.

I opened the letter addressed to me from one Fireward10. My heart jumped to my throat as I read.

_Bella ~ _

_I don't know what to say. I've thought a lot about what's been going on between us and I am heartbroken. I have been pushing you away, but I thought I was doing it to keep you safe from my family._

_I can see now that my actions were wrong. Instead, I alienated you and jeopardized the only thing that matters to me in this world: your love. I've changed your perception of me. No longer am I the man you though me to be. I'm broken and tortured, and I've allowed that to leak over to you. For that, I will be forever sorry._

_I love you more than I could ever say, and I wish I could fight for us. I wish you'd let me fight, but I know that likelihood is rare. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'm willing to work this out together. I won't let my fears about my family affect us any longer. I want to be with you more than anything, and I'm sorry for my actions. Please, Bella, call me. Tell me everything will be okay. I feel lost without you. _

_I love you,_

_Edward. _

I wanted to go to him, to tell him that I was sorry for leaving. Listening to his frantic message to me and then this heart-wrenching letter had sent shivers down my spine. Of course it wasn't too late for us. I loved him beyond belief. I would never give up on him. I just needed some space, some time to let my anger simmer.

I didn't understand his actions toward James at the time. Now, knowing all the things Edward thought he was at risk of losing, knowing that James did have ties to Caius…

"You know what, none of it matters…" I told myself, fumbling with my phone, pulling up Edward's number on the screen. I waited through the tolls, hoping I'd hear his voice click over the line. It went to voicemail. He must have been on a call.

"Edward, it's me…" I didn't know what to say. Apologize? Accept his? "I just want you to know that I love you, Edward. Things have been off with us lately, but I know that everything will be alright. Call me when you can, okay? I love you…"

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"I don't know what happened? I just kind of sat down on a chair and then this…" My patient was a twenty-five year old frat boy who'd come into the ED complaining of discomfort to his rectum. After an abdominal cat scan, it was determined that he had a rather large cucumber stuffed up his butt. "It must have been a prank from one of the guys I live with."

_Sure…_

I sighed, taking down his history for the pre-op report. He was being admitted to the Medical-Surgical floor in preparation for his surgery tomorrow. I listened to his woven tale, keeping my professional demeanor intact. If it wasn't for the fact that this poor sap was not the first male—or female—to come into the ED with a foreign object stuck up their ass, it might have been hard for me to keep a straight face as he lied and stuttered through the conversation. As it were, he was the farthest thing from abnormal nowadays.

"Okay, Tom, I'm going to call your nurse and let her know your pre-op stuff is done. Now, after midnight tonight you can't have anything to eat or drink. Once your surgery is done, they can start giving you ice chips, and then you can gradually work your way back to eating a regular diet."

"Yeah, okay," he said timidly, his face tingeing a bright pink as a beautiful brunette walked through the door.

"Tom, are you alright?" she said as she cross the room to his side, reaching out for his hand.

"I'm fine, Amanda. Just have a stomach ache." I had to keep myself from snorting out loud. As I headed out into the hall I heard Tom fumble through his excuses to his girlfriend, telling her everything _but _the truth. I walked to the Nurses' station, a solid smirk on my face.

"Oh, Bella…" Rosalie sighed, her hands filled with charts. She was the shift leader for the day and she had been flustered to no end, poor thing. I was just glad it was her and not me. "Did you get the paperwork done?"

"Yeah," I giggled. "He is going to be in a world of hurt."

"Why, because of the extensive abdominal surgery he's going to have because his 'friends' stuck something up his bum?" Rosalie asked.

"No, because when his girlfriend finds out why he's here, she may not be too understanding."

"Awe," Rosalie said knowingly. We both looked at each other, simultaneously reciting our motto for those kinds of patients.

"Don't ask, don't tell…"

I laughed as Rosalie chuckled. She handed me another chart, asking if I could help out with a couple discharges. I headed toward the triage rooms, hoping that I could find something as entertaining as my last encounter. Although I didn't revel in the pain of others, I had to admit that Tom's situation did brush aside some of my own tormented thoughts.

I'd been at work for five hours now, and I hadn't heard a call back from Edward. I knew the guys could get busy and opportunities to call could be few and far between, but I hoped he'd at least shoot me a text. I just needed to hear his voice. Something, anything. And in the moments that I wasn't busy at work, even if it was a short walk across the unit, my mind filled with that desperate need.

The curtain around triage five was pulled when I arrived. Figuring the patient was getting redressed from their exam gown, I cleared my throat in warning.

"Excuse me, Mr. eh…" I paused, looking down to the name on the chart. It couldn't be…

I heard the ring of the curtain rod being pulled back. "Hi, Bella."

I looked up to see James Cannon standing there, shirtless, his pants hanging low on his well-defined hips.

"James," I said, surprised. "Eh, what are you doing here?"

He gave me a sly smirk before he held up a bandaged hand. "I cut myself with a knife in the kitchen. When I couldn't get it to stop bleeding, I came here."

"Oh," I said lamely, echoes of Edward's warning against him reverberating around my mind. But he wouldn't purposefully cut his hand, would he?

"You come to let me loose?" he asked, turning to grab his shirt off the examination table. My eyes followed his movement, trying to put the pieces together. I cleared my throat.

"Uh, yeah. I have your prescription for pain meds and antibiotic ointment right here."

"You're blushing, Bella," he told me smoothly, that sly smirk reappearing on his face. He took on step closer to me, his eyes leering as he lowered his voice. "See something you like?"

"No," I responded quickly, taking an automatic step backwards. "I'm just surprised to see you, that's all."

"Hmmm," he mused. "I see. If that's the case, why are you staring at me like that?"

"Like what?" I asked, my expression becoming stern.

"Like I'm something to eat," he smiled, and I felt my stomach roll.

"Listen, James. You need to knock this crap off right now," I told him firmly, my posture rigid as I glared at him. "You know I'm with Edward. I'm not going to fall for your playboy tricks, so stop."

He seemed truly shocked for a moment, then his face fell into chagrin. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just thought that maybe after yesterday, you would've booted Cullen after the way he acted."

"No, I didn't," I replied, my heavy tone lifting just slightly. "I wouldn't break up with someone I love after a misunderstanding like that."

"I see," James said, pulling the round neck of his tee shirt over his head quickly. He avoided my gaze, and suddenly, my anger began to melt into sympathy.

"Look, James, you are a really nice guy. I had fun hanging out with you the other night." He glanced up at me then, a small smile returning to his handsome face.

"Yeah, I did too."

"What do you say to a friendship? Instead of the mack daddy moves you were trying to toss around."

James scoffed playfully. "Girl, I've got moves you've never seen," he said with a quirk of his eyebrow, attempting to go for suave.

"Okay, Pretty Woman," I snorted, handing James his prescriptions and instructions of care. He laughed wryly as I walked out of the room, heading back to the station to get my next job duty.

I was about five feet from my destination when I froze, my heart falling to the floor.

Rosalie was standing, ashen faced, behind the desk. She was staring at me with a horrified expression, her hands shaking slightly.

"Rosalie," I called, rushing to her side. "What's the matter? What's wrong?"

She didn't respond, didn't move. I grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. I heard something clatter to the ground, a sharp squawking noise coming from the com device the ambulances used to call in.

I glanced down at the paper she'd been writing on, the one we use to gather the initial triage information from the paramedics while they are in route. She'd written down a couple things, but one had my breath freezing in my throat.

High rise fire, two firemen down, one possible DOA.

DOA…_ Dead On Arrival_

I glanced back at Rosalie, tears brimming my eyes.

"It's them," she said, her voice shaking. "It's station ten, Bella. Those firemen are our boys."


	33. Chapter 32 Five Alarm

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

_Thanks to Hibbleton and Neliz. _

* * *

Chapter 32 - Five Alarm

~ Edward ~

"I can't believe this shit," Seth grumbled for the hundredth time that day, wiping a layer of sweat from his forehead, smearing a stain of bright red across his skin in the process. I snorted.

We'd been out in the Seattle streets, toasting in the relatively warm weather while painting all the fire hydrants in our area. It was something that needed to be done annually, and all of us on duty dreaded we'd be working that day. Yeah, it was nice that we didn't have to run any calls while we were out doing our civic duties, but bending over all damn day to paint a huge chunk of metal stopped being fun about two hours into it. That was when the back and neck aches would start, the repetitive task too much for the body to handle at that point.

"We know, Seth," Emmett moaned, Seth's endless complaining wearing on his nerves. "We owe you, okay?"

"No," he corrected in a playful yet chiding tone, pointing his red tipped paint brush in Emmett's direction. "Jasper owes me. I never thought I'd end up spending my Friday at work painting fire hydrants all damn day."

"This is the last one," I reminded him, fighting the urge to dunk my own brush into the gobs of red paint and plant the end of it right on the back of his neck just to really piss him off. It would be funny, but there was one thing we learned quickly in the Fire Department: paybacks were a bitch.

"Wasn't us buying your damn lunch enough for you to shut the hell up with the moaning?" Emmett asked with a hint of whine in his tone.

"Not even close," Seth chuckled, milking the situation for all it was worth. "You guys cook me a helluva tasty meal tonight, and we'll start talking about leveling the field here. Throw in a twelve pack of Coors at Chuy's tomorrow night, and I'd say that'd be about perfect."

"You're on," Emmett laughed, him and Seth exchanging a knowing look.

"You down to hit the bar tomorrow, Edward?" Seth asked, finishing up another coat on the chipped and faded water hydrant.

"No, numb nuts here picked up another three in house rotation," Emmett answered for me, shooting me a pointed glare that didn't match his playful tone.

"Another?" Seth asked, turning his inquisitive stare to me. "What gives? You trying to end up in an early grave?"

"Nah, I just needed the shift," I told him evasively.

"Well, I know you don't need the money," Seth scoffed, turning his attention back to his task. I didn't reply, hoping the subject died where it was. Thankfully, Seth changed the subject.

"So where is Jasper, anyway? I've never known him to take a sick day, let alone a vacation."

"Uh, he took Alice away for the weekend," I answered. "They left town yesterday."

"Hot damn," he muttered under his breath. "I remember what it was like to be in that stage. Fucking every night, going away on weekend long trips, can't keep your hands off each other... Perfect."

"Things not like that for you and Natalie?" I asked.

"We still have the passion," he replied, his expression pensive. "But with the baby being born and the lethargy that comes with two hours of sleep a night, it kind of puts a damper on the sex life. As soon as our heads hit the pillow, we are out like a light."

"I can imagine," I said.

"I can't wait for it," Emmett interjected, his declaration earning my full attention.

"What?" I asked, flabbergasted.

"Yeah, man. There's nothing sexier in my mind than seeing my Rosie barefoot and pregnant with a little Emmie. I'm ready for it, man."

"Is there something you got to tell me?" I asked, my mind whirling with thoughts of hidden pregnancy and Emmett holding a large stuffed teddy bear. "Is there a mini McCarty on the way?"

"Not yet," Emmett replied with a wide grin, his eyes singing with implication. "I just know that it's what I want."

"It's better to marry them first," Seth chided with a knowing grin. "Trust me. Things go a lot better with the pops if it's done right."

"Yeah, I know…" Emmett trailed off, turning his attention back to the task at hand.

"You thinking of popping the question, Emmett?" I asked him, my brows furrowing together. I'd never known him to be the one to want a wife and kids…the whole bit. He'd always been the one to play the field. He was in love with women, pure and simple. This kind of talk coming from him was different. If he was serious about it, the meaning of that would go far beyond where my mind was ready to ponder.

"Hey, ladies! It's time to head back!" Captain Banner called from the rig.

"Thank God," Seth exclaimed, slamming his brush back into the paint bucket. "I am damn hungry."

Emmett laughed. "When are you not?"

"Fuck off, Pops," Seth told him with a mock punch to his shoulder. He grabbed his designated bucket and headed to the truck quickly, the mountains of mashed potatoes we'd promised him calling his name back at the station. I turned to Emmett.

"What?" he asked as he watched me knowingly, that sly smirk on his face telling me he was up to something.

"Don't give me that 'what' bullshit. Since when are you talking about marriage and babies?"

"Well, when you find the right girl…"

"You've known each other for all of five minutes…" I argued my concern for my friend's flighty nature. "You can't be that serious about someone until…"

"Until when?" Emmett interrupted. "I know she's the one, Edward. Why would I waste time?"

"It's not about wasting time, Em. She doesn't know you very well and vice versa."

"Rosie knows everything about me," he argued. "She loves me for who I am and I think she's amazing. There's not one reason I can think of to postpone the inevitable. She is going to be my wife, plain and simple."

"You know I'm happy for you, man," I told him, my voice calmer than before. "I just don't want you to get in too deep only to find out that she's not the one."

"I would never do that," he said, his sharp eyes finding mine. They were devoid of any humor or the light joy that always traced the edges. He was completely serious, and a tad bit pissed off at my comment. "If I made that kind of commitment, I would never turn on it, Edward. You should know me better than that."

"I do," I affirmed. "I just know how life can change a person, and I don't want you to rush into something without being sure."

"Edward, life itself is a gamble. There are no guarantees, but I refuse to sit aside and let the best thing in my life slip through my fingers because I was too scared to grab hold with both hands."

"Yes, life is a gamble. Why the hurry to move so fast?"

"I'm not rushing into anything," Emmett argued. "I want her here, with me, through it all. There is no rushing with that fact. It is what it is."

"Yes, but…"

"Edward, what I feel for Rosalie is unlike anything I've ever felt before. I can see how you are with Bella, and I know you feel the same thing for her. Are you telling me that you'd keep Bella at arm's length because you were afraid that life isn't a guarantee?"

"No."

"Then why would you think I'd do that to Rosie? She's it for me, and that fact doesn't scare me. It excites me. And all the other bullshit that comes in life will be a piece of cake because I'll have her by my side."

I didn't say anything for several moments, thinking about how Emmett's words paralleled the war that had been raging in my own mind. Perhaps my own internal battles were not so different from those around me. Mine, on the other hand, involved lying and deceit on a magnitude no one else could possibly comprehend. The only person I'd truly confided in was Bella. She knew me, all of me, the good and the bad, and she didn't go running for the hills.

Through all the lecturing I'd had over the past couple of days, I'd been slowly coming to the realization that Emmett had so eloquently laid out in front of me. It didn't matter that I had a bunch of bullshit under my feet, Bella was beside me. I just hoped it wasn't too late to fix the mess I'd made.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Goodness, I'm beat…" Captain Banner declared, pushing back on one of the station's recliners while simultaneously hitting the power button on the TV remote control.

"Why are you tired?" Seth asked, taking the cushioned chair right next to him. "All you did was sit in the rig and listen to the radio squawk all day."

"Observation can be taxing work," the Captain rationalized, his gaze fixed on the flashing channels of the big screen.

"Hey, when's dinner?" Seth called from the living room. Emmett looked at me as he sliced the potatoes for the large, industrial-sized pot of boiling water.

"Shit, Clearwater. If you are so damn hungry why don't you get off your ass and help us cook!" Emmett called.

"Nah," he responded playfully. "That's what firemen are for. It's the only reason I promoted. No more cooking for me!"

"Yeah, we'll see what kind of tune you sing when it's time to wash the rig at six o'clock in the morning. See if either one of us is willing to help you out."

"Oh shut it," Seth said, his voice closer than before. He strolled into the kitchen, his large hands rubbing his belly. "I'm here, I'm here. What do you need help with?"

"McCarty has the veggies," I replied. "The meat's already on the grill. Why don't you toss the salad for me?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Cullen? I don't swing that way!" Seth deadpanned.

"Fuck off," I growled, shoving him playfully for good measure. I left the two douche bags to finish up with supper, my fingers itching to get a hold of my phone. I'd left it back at the station when we'd left earlier that morning, not knowing we'd be out for the entire day. I was hoping that Bella had called, or at least responded to my email, and being away from that little magical lifeline had me distracted all damn day.

I headed into the dorm rooms and toward my gym bag that housed all of my personal belongings. I reached for my phone, slide the release on the touch screen, and saw that I had two new voicemails. My heart skipped as I waited for the mechanical voice to come one.

_First new message… _

"Edward, this is Victoria. I have been instructed to let you know that your grandfather is less than pleased that you have decided to ignore his phone calls. He is on the verge of coming to your place of work. I know this seems out of character for him, Edward, and I'm sorry that I've called you so much, but he is desperate to speak to you. Can you please just call him, for me?"

The phone clicked over, indicating the end of the message. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair in exasperation. In all honesty, I'd forgotten Caius wanted to meet with me yesterday. I had so much on my mind with Bella and James, but it was probably a good thing I didn't go. The way I'd been feeling about the man lately, I most likely would have spout off a bunch of accusations, revealing my hand way too early in the game. I didn't want him knowing that Bella knew about Carlisle's mob theory. If it held any weight, I didn't want Caius' panicked suspicions to add to everything else.

_Next new message…_

"Edward, it's me…"

_Bella…_

My heart froze.

"I just want you to know that I love you, Edward. Things have been off with us lately, but I know that everything will be alright. Call me when you can, okay? I love you…"

I couldn't hang up fast enough. My fingers fumbled with the phone, trying to call up her number. I just got her name up on the screen when the tones went off.

_Station Ten, report to Terrace and Fifth Avenue. Possible structure fire with witnessed flames. Five alarm called, Stations nine, eight, and seven responding._

"Damn it!" I heard Seth exclaimed. In this instance, I shared his sentiment. I reluctantly put my phone down and ran toward the rigs, following behind the other guys as they scrambled to get their turnouts on.

Due to the reports of live flames, it seemed like a serious call, despite the fact that we'd been to this building countless times before.

"Do you want us to call the others off?" I asked Captain Banner as we pulled out of the station, our alarms and lights blaring as traffic around us began to yield.

"Not yet," he said. "Let's make sure it's not another false alarm."

"False alarm?" Seth asked as he turned the rig onto Terrace Street. "Is this that damn King's building?" Our silence was the only acknowledgment he received. "Are you telling me that my fucking food is cooling 'cause these people can't follow a simple fire code?"

"Cool it, Clearwater," Captain Banner admonished. "It's not our first run here either. Let's just treat it like a normal fire, alright?"

He growled in answer, and the rest of us stayed silent as the rig pulled up to the building. The streets were covered with workers from the building, all having been evacuated when the smoke alarms were triggered. It was then that I realized that we'd never run a call here during the day; it had always been at night. Seeing all the people in the street made it more real somehow, and a shot of adrenaline ran through me at the prospect of fighting a real fire.

We were the first house on scene so Captain Banner took over as the Incident Commander, finding the person who was in charge out of the hundreds of employees littering the streets.

Emmett and I shepherded the crowd across the street while the Captain got the low down on what happened when the alarm was triggered. Seth set up the water gauges, pulling the lines from the engine and hooking up the water spout on a nearby water hydrant to feed the hoses.

Once we directed all the workers across the street, engine Seven pulled up and dismounted. Captain Banner relayed what he knew.

"Okay, we have several reports of smoke being seen on the tenth level on the west and east side of the building. It correlates to where the alarm was triggered, so we are scouting in as if this is live."

"Who is IC?" Captain Walkley asked from station seven.

"I am until a Chief is present," Captain Banner stated with authority. Walkley nodded in agreement.

"Here's the plan: since the alarm was triggered on tenth floor, I'll take a scout team to check the area. Your guys can prepare the ground line and follow us up once we have a location and the Chief shows up to take of as IC. You can relay the details to him here on the ground. Clear?"

The other engine crew nodded in agreement and we all broke away to our designated assignments. As the guys from Seven pulled the lines and began filling them with pressurized water, we loaded up in our gear and oxygen tanks. The familiar feeling of claustrophobia consumed me as I pushed the respirator mask onto my face. Vision tunnelled and an extra fifty pounds on our backs, we began the ten story climb toward our destination.

By the time we reached floor ten, Walkley had radioed that the Battalion Chief Maddox had arrived and had been filled in on what had happened. The line was ready and approaching our locations. Captain Banner turned to give us his orders through the radio device built into our head gear.

"Cullen, Clearwater, I want you two to head to the east side of the building. Me and McCarty will take the west." We signalled our understanding.

"Check every door before entering, and remember your flashback training."

Seth and I took a right turn toward the east and began our check. The air was clear with no signs of smoke, but fire was a tricky devil; she'd hide in the walls and disappear to a cinder just to return full throttle in the next moment, deadly and vicious, able to take a firefighter down in a blaze of glory.

Seth began checking the doors for signs of heat as he ventured down the hall. On each side resided different doors labelled "Equipment Room", "Staff Lounge", and "Paper/Materials." I started to wonder what kind of business was run from this floor.

Once we cleared the several rooms up front, we entered into an enormous lobby area. A large, curved desk was centered against the wall for reception, the ominous lack of sound and everyday shuffle made it seem like some sort of strange ghost town.

Seth stepped off to the left to check the side of the wide area while I went behind the desk to check the trashcans for any sign of smoldering remains; it wasn't uncommon for us to find that a cigarette butt or a candle wick was the cause of a garbage fire, so we made sure to check all possible sources.

I pulled the trashcan out from underneath to find that it was empty, as if it had been emptied right before the evacuation had been called. Setting it down, a flash of gold caught my eye. It was a name plate: Tricia Ward, Reception. The Volturi Corporation.

Panic shot through me as I fumbled with the plaque to get a better look. I had to see if I was right, if I was actually standing in the middle of the lion's den, my grandfather's conspirators surrounding me. I pulled off my mask to get a better look, for the soot encased mask hindered seeing in specifics, but I need not have done it.

My head lifted to see a large company picture featuring three men all standing in a line. They were looking out into the lobby with an air of superiority and refinement, with only a touch of arrogance and deceit behind their stares. Or perhaps I saw that for I knew what kind of snakes they were; more like the true wolves in sheep's clothing, tailor-made by the most gifted designers, no doubt.

Above them was the company name written in gilded, bold letters: The Volturi Corporation. Leader of Acquisitions and Confinements.

My hands trembled as I reached for my radio. I had a horrible feeling, and I needed to air my suspicions, even if they made me look crazy.

"Cullen to Banner, over."

"Banner here. You boys find something?"

"No signs of fire, but I'm concerned about something. Who has the city been fining for the alarms codes? Who owns this building?"

"The Volturi Corporation," Captain Banner answered. "I think they run their business from this floor as well."

I heard a squawk from the radio, then Emmett's voice came on.

"Edward, where are you?"

"In the lobby for the main offices," I told him, glad that it seemed he understood the implication of the situation as well. I wasn't completely paranoid.

"We are coming to your locale," he said. "Stay put. Don't go looking into any -"

I didn't hear what he told me. I didn't see where Seth had been when it went off. All I could feel was a massive ball of heat consume me, lifting me off my feet, sending me whirling into the air. My body ached, my lungs burned, and as I lost consciousness, the only thing I was aware of were the flames surrounding me and the cries of Emmett's voice over the radio.

"Edward..."


	34. Chapter 33 The Phoenix

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

_Thanks to Hibbleton and Neliz. _

* * *

Chapter 33 - The Phoenix

~ Bella ~

It's not unusual for life's important moments to cause time to stand still. The birth of a child, the passing of a loved one...

But I didn't expect for my own heart to stop — my life to cease — at the mere possibility that someone I loved could be lost.

No, rather than the familiar break where the powers that be granted a moment of pause, of breath, before everything ended in upheaval, I found myself almost drowning with worry. That time of clarity must have passed me by, for in the blink of an eye, unyielding chaos was here.

Any moment the victims would arrive, and I felt as if my very soul lay in limbo.

I couldn't think about the fear threatening my sanity or the tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't focus on the fact that Rosalie was barely holding her shit together, riding that precarious edge of total breakdown just as closely as I was. I couldn't hear the panicked call the unit secretary made to Carlisle telling him that they needed all hands to respond, informing him that one of the incoming was a potential DOA, that it could possibly be his son.

I had to shut it all out. I had to focus not on the emotion, not on the overwhelming terror, but on the chance that if I had my head in the game, despite who rolled through those doors, I could help save a life.

This was what I did on a daily basis, what I was trained for. I had to keep a level head; I had to know that no matter what condition he was in, no matter how dire the situation may be, I had to help him.

My heart knew he was one of the injured rushing toward the ambulance bay on a full alert, sirens blaring. I couldn't rationalize how I knew it to be so, I just did. Call it women's intuition, or the fact that my heart was irrevocably melded to his, crying out for her injured mate. I just accepted it, and hoped like hell I could hold it together just long enough to get him stabilized.

I knew that seeing Edward sprawled on a gurney, barely clinging to life would be the point where my sanity would break. But I would give it my best effort. I would do my job, despite the fact that the love of my life may be clinging on by a simple thread.

I stood in the receiving bay, garbed in the familiar yellow gown and blue gloves I'd worn countless times in anticipation for an incoming trauma. There were only three nurses working that were certified in Trauma: myself, Rosalie, and Margaret. Only one physician on duty was proficient with traumas as well: Dr. Connelly.

I glanced around the bay to my co-workers, each wearing solemn faces, each standing like sentinels on the verge of battle. Mike was preparing intubation tubes and setting up emergent Cricothyrotomy sets, just in case. Its purpose was to cut a hole through a patient's throat to gain access to their airway, and seeing the violent, gruesome set up shot a pang of fear through me. I looked up to see Rosalie watching me with the same unbridled worry, a tear running down her face. I closed my eyes and looked away, back toward the darkened streets, awaiting the ambulance arrival.

There was a screech of tires as a familiar Mercedes pulled into the bay. My heart filled with a slight tinge of hope as Dr. Cullen leapt from his car, engine still running.

"What's the ETA?" he asked, accepting a yellow gown from Margaret as he looked toward Dr. Connelly. I didn't know who looked more relieved to see the seasoned physician, myself, Rosalie, or Dr. Connelly. I trusted Carlisle's opinion and judgment implicitly, and despite the fact that he couldn't work on Edward due to conflict of interest, I knew having him here was better than naught.

"Two minutes," Dr. Connelly stated. "They've stabilized the one thought to have been the most critical, but the situation is unpredictable. It sounds like he's suffered from immediate burns, both superficial and inhalation."

"Mike?" Dr. Cullen said in an expectant tone.

"The Cric is ready," Mike told him, finishing the last of preparation.

"Rosalie, Bella…are you two okay?" he said softly, looking at each of us in turn. He didn't elaborate, but he trusted our judgment just as we did his. If there was a doubt, we would have told him that we couldn't do our jobs. It was the one opportunity to bow out before shit hit the fan, but seeing as we were two of three trauma RNs, we had to suck it up: Our moment of truth. We both nodded, and he didn't push us.

"Okay, we need a massive fluid resuscitation on both injured. I don't care if they are burned or not, they will receive large bore IVs and at least two liters of rapid infusion. Bella and Rosalie, I want the pair of you on initial access assessments. If the paramedics couldn't get anything larger than a twenty and there are no immediately apparent visible sites, we are going intraosseous infusions, understand?"

We nodded and I turned immediately to pull the drills from the crash cart that was able to place large bore catheters through the bone for rapid rate infusions via the marrow. My hands shook as I grabbed the handle.

Just then I felt a large hand clamp down on my shoulder and I immediately began to feel a comforting warmth flow through me. I turned to see Carlisle looking at me, the same pain and fear I felt shining through his eyes. Dr. Cullen had never breached the professionalism of our working relationship, but in that moment, he wasn't my boss or co-worker. He was the father of the man I loved, and we shared a deep-seated concern and terror for Edward. But he wasn't wearing his emotions on his sleeve. He pushed them aside, ready to do his job — maybe Emmett's — and seeing that helped me stay on course. It may be that we were facing a nightmare heat on, but together we'd get through whatever may come.

The sirens wailed in the distance, and we turned to see the approach of flashing lights reflecting off the surrounding buildings. A grave silence fell over our group like the quiet before an intense storm. The first bus pulled in, and the back doors swung open as the medics unloaded the gurney.

"Twenty seven year old fireman. Victim of an explosion and injured in the line of duty," the paramedic reported, and my heart froze.

_Oh god…_

"He's suffered several burns to his head and neck. We haven't been able to intubate him, and we can barely oxygenate him because of the edema."

"Mike!" Dr. Cullen called, but he needn't have. Mike was already set up, handing Dr. Cullen a fifteen inch blade.

I began to assess for IV access as the doctor worked on getting a patent airway, purposefully not looking at the victim's face, praying that this wasn't him, that it wasn't Edward.

"I'm in," I heard Dr Cullen proclaim, and my eyes shifted to the place he worked despite my resolve to keep my gaze away. Dusky brown hair, defined, ethnic features, and a sharply cut jaw line were all I could make out beneath the soot and damaged tissue, but I knew it wasn't him. It wasn't Edward or Emmett. My eyes flew up to find Rosalie looking at the victim with the same amount of morbid relief I felt.

"Margaret, I want STAT labs and X-rays. The entire workup needs to be done ASAP. Call it in if you have to. Do we have fluid running?"

I froze. I'd forgotten my assigned task in the midst of everything.

"We have a sixteen in his right upper arm," the medic said. "The second liter is infusing now."

"Good," Dr. Cullen said as they began to load the injured fireman toward the trauma rooms. "We'll slam a central in him once we're inside."

I heard his rushed orders to Margaret and Mike as they wheeled him through, and I caught the tail end of panicked words. Something about vitals crashing and preparing for chest compressions, but it didn't process. I couldn't believe I was so shaken that I wasn't able to do my job properly. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for me to be here. Maybe I was too affected to perform.

Another cadence of echoing sirens hailed the next incoming ambulance, and my eyes widened with apprehension. The back doors swung open and I heard a most welcomed sound.

"The fuck I will leave him! That's my brother in there!" Emmett was battling with a flustered looking medic trying to push away the oxygen mask the poor guy was unsuccessfully placing on the fireman's face. Emmett was covered in blackened soot and smelled like he'd been knee deep in campfire, but he was alive and relatively unharmed. He didn't seem concerned about himself at all; his only worry was for the man on the gurney next to him. The one whose hand he held. The one whose side he refused to leave.

_Edward..._

He was lying on the gurney, rigid and unmoving. His copper topped head that I loved so much was blackened from the fire. I could see the angry burns and blisters along his neck and face, a large oxygen mask covered the rest of him. His beautiful emerald eyes were shielded by his closed lids, and his rugged, strong hands were cracked and bleeding, some looking broken. Those sturdy hands that had held me when I was sad, those gentle fingers that had brought me so much pleasure, were mangled and bleeding, just like the rest of him.

_Oh God…_

"Sir, you have to let us get him inside," one of the medics told him, trying to encourage Emmett's cooperation.

"Is he breathing okay? Is he breathing? Oh god, Edward. Oh fuck, I'm sorry."

Tears streamed from his eyes as he watched Edward being pulled from the back. The clear liquid caused the soot on his face to run, forming small rivers of muddy grey along his cheeks and down his chin. I found it funny that I'd recognize such a mundane detail, but I supposed it was how I coped. It seemed as if I were watching everything in slow motion; that blessed moment of clarity making a delayed appearance, setting a torturously stuttered pace that prolonged my anguish.

Was he...?

Could he be...?

I saw movement from the gurney: a hand reaching toward the mask on his face.

Movement.

_He's alive..._

"Em…" the love of my life croaked, and my entire world felt like it had spun on its axis. My body moved without my command, and I found myself looking over him, my vision clouded as it filled with tears.

"Edward," my voice croaked.

"Bella?" he said, attempting to open his matted eyes, his lashes burned to a cinder. His movements became more erratic as he tried to reach for me. His reach was sporadic, like he couldn't actually make out where I was.

"I'm here, baby," I told him, my hands fluttering about his injured face, not wanting to cause him more pain but desperate to touch him. "Don't talk right now, okay. It will only exacerbate the swelling around your throat."

"I…love…you," he whispered, and a watery smile quivered onto my lips.

"Oh baby… I love you, too," I cried, the tears running freely down my face. "Shhh, don't talk, okay?"

"He's been pretty stable," the paramedic relayed as they wheeled him toward through the large sliding doors. "The biggest problem has been trying to get the big one to let us work."

I looked over to see Emmett, soot covered and limping a bit, helping the paramedics wheel the gurney through the ER doors. I smiled, knowing how close the guys were, feeling some kind of kindred concern we both had for Edward. What would it have been like to be there, at the fire, in the midst of it all, knowing that your brother was down and on the verge of death? I shuttered. Emmett had been through a lot tonight.

"Bella, why don't you take the big one here over to triage three to check out his vitals," Dr. Connelly suggested, his tone lighter and more friendly than I'd ever heard it before. "Rosalie will help me with Mr. Cullen."

I nodded, and then leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the side of Edward's blackened face. "I love you…"

I heard Emmett arguing with Rosalie about wanting to stay with Edward, but she had him agree to treatment by the time I was done with my brief goodbye. One of the techs had brought out a wheelchair for Emmett but he adamantly refused to sit in it, stating that he could walk just as well as he could fuck, and not to test that theory. The tech looked a little taken aback, but I just giggled, a strange lightness coming over me that made the situation all the more funny. It was relief, I knew, that brought on the sudden humor. Relief that both Emmett and Edward were okay. Relief that I was able to tell him that I loved him. Relief that my life was not over, had not perished in that god awful fire.

"Come on, Em. Let's get you fixed up." He followed me into the triage room, his limp from before starting to look more taxing as he walked. I thought about making him use the wheelchair, but I knew it would've been a wasted effort. Once we got into the room, he climbed up on the paper covered examination table.

"I'm going to help you take off some of your gear, okay?"

"I knew this moment would come eventually," Emmett said in response, his tone grave.

"W-what moment?"

"The moment you'd get to undress me. It's been flirting on the horizon; it was only a matter of time," he replied with a wag of his eyebrows, and I smacked him on the arm as I rolled my eyes.

"Ouch," he grunted, wincing slightly.

"Oh gawd, Em. I'm sorry," I cried, fretting about him in concerned manner.

"Normally I'd say 'gotcha', but I guess I'm more hurt than I thought," he said, gently pulling his arms out of his dirty turnout jacket. I helped him where I could, pulling the back of his jacket slowly. The more of him that was revealed, the worse he looked, causing my throat to tighten. He was bruised and blood stained underneath his thick jacket, his department issued tee-shirt drenched in sweat. He had a couple of cuts on his wrists and hands, and a large one on his neck that most likely would need stitches.

"What happened, Em?" I whispered, my eyes lacing with tears once again.

"We ran a call down at the King's building again," he replied, wincing as I began to unlace his boots.

"The same place with all those false alarms?"

"The...same," he grunted. I glanced up to see him pursing his lips together, holding his breath. He looked pale and sallow, like he was on the verge of fainting. I stopped what I was doing and grabbed the oxygen saturation monitor, placing it on his black-nailed finger. The reading came up at eighty-eight percent, well below normal.

"Here, put this on," I told him, handing him an oxygen mask. He tried to push it away but I insisted. After gauging my will, he decided not to test me and put it on. I went back to removing his boots. Once I got them off, I could see that his left ankle was swollen and angry. It would probably need x-rays.

"I'm going to call radiology to see if they can take a picture of your foot, Em," I told him. He pulled the oxygen mask off as he shook his head.

"It will be fine," he argued. "I don't need anything —"

"Emmett," I said, shooting him a warning glare. "You need to just relax and let me help you. Face it, Em. I'm your boss."

He chuckled, earning a sharp wince to his side.

"Maybe I should just order scans of your entire body and call it good."

"How's Seth? Have you heard anything?" Emmett grunted through the pain. His oxygen mask muffled his voice and his hand reaching up to take it off once again. I stayed his greedy fingers, giving him an encouraging smile.

"I'll go check, okay? Just leave that on."

"Hey, you can't do that! We have rights!" I heard a nasally, high-pitched voice screech just outside of the door, and Emmett and I exchanged an inquiring look. I looked out into the busy hallway to see a man with a camera around his neck, trying to get into the room where the medical staff was working on Edward. He looked like a reporter trying to dig up details, and my vision turned red. My feet were moving before I had a conscious thought to.

"We have a right to know what's going on. The public wants to know if Edward Cullen died in the fire."

"We will issue a public statement as soon as there is something to report," Dr Connelly was saying, signaling a security guard over. "Now, you know that you aren't allowed in here, and those pictures you took of the victim need to be confiscated."

"Hey, you can't take my camera," the weasel of a man said as the security guard grabbed his camera. "That's my property. I'll press charges."

"And you taking pictures of a patient without their permission," Dr Connelly argued. "It's a HIPPA violation, and that's against the law."

"I want my damn camera," the reporter yelled, making sure he drew as much attention as possible to the confrontation. "I'll call the police!"

"I'll give you a reason to call the cops," I heard Emmett say, and turned just in time to see him whiz past me, his hand in a fist that met the reporter's face with a satisfying crunch.

"Emmett!" I called, reaching forward to stop him from beating the guy to a bloody pulp. The security guard helped me get a hold of Emmett while Dr Connelly helped the reporter off of the floor.

"He broke my fucking nose!" the guy whined through the rivers of blood cascading down his face. "I want him arrested!"

"You'll be lucky if I don't have _you_ arrested," Dr Connelly proclaimed, calling over another nurse to take care of the bloody reporter. After they disappeared into one of the examination rooms, the muttered curses and proclamations of retaliation muffled by distance, Dr. Connelly turned on Emmett.

"That made a bad situation worse, my son," he chastised, and the doc calling Emmett 'son' was almost comical. He couldn't have been but a few years older than the guys.

"He deserved it," Emmett growled, his scowl following the path the bloody reporter had taken.

"Emmett," I chastised, my tone sounding more like a whine than chiding. "You are not supposed to be up on that ankle."

"I'm fine," he dismissed.

"McCarty," a gruff male voice said from behind me, and I turned to see Captain Banner fast approaching. "Why aren't you being treated?" he growled with a no-bullshit attitude.

"I was," Emmett replied. "I had to take care of some nasty business."

"Was that a reporter I saw?" Dr. Cullen asked, coming up to join our little group.

"A reporter?" Captain Banner exclaimed. "What the hell? They never show up this early." I exchanged a worried look with Carlisle as the Captain rounded on Emmett.

"You need to explain to me what the fuck happened up there, McCarty, and start explaining now! How the hell did you know something was about to go down? Edward calls, squawking some shit about who owns the building, and you go flying off toward their contact. What the hell does the Volturi Corporation have to do with this shit?"

I gasped.

"The…_what_?" Carlisle asked in a grave tone. He looked at Emmett with horror filled eyes. Emmett gave him the most imperceptible nod, and Carlisle's face fell into anguish that melted into a fury unlike I'd ever seen before.

"Excuse me," he said, his voice trembling slightly from the rage hiding beneath. He stepped away from the group, pulling a cell phone from his pocket. I looked at Emmett, but his expression was unreadable. He addressed the captain's inquiries in a matter-of-fact tone.

"The fire wasn't an accident, Cappie," he stated. "It was arson. I think you need to get the guys over at AF a call."

"They're already on scene, McCarty," the Captain all but shouted. "I want to know why you feel that way."

"I can't say, Cappie," Emmett replied, his stance stoic, unyielding.

"What the… What do you mean you won't say? What the hell is going on?"

"Jeff, the less you know the better," Emmett said, his sharp gaze freezing Captain Banner in his spot, mouth open, staring at Emmett like he had two heads. I closed my eyes as a wave of anger and sadness consumed me.

Could Caius really do that to his grandson? Could he have perpetrated this horrible act — a fire that would kill his grandson just to deflect attention off the shady crap Aro was involved in?

No…

I turned to see Carlisle on the phone with someone, his posture rigid and his face reddened with anger. I glanced at Emmett to see a similar expression.

"Dr. Connelly!" Rose said as she tore open the doors to Trauma Bay one. "We need you in here, now!"

_Edward…_

"What happened?" Dr. Connelly asked, running at full speed toward Edward's room. I followed after, my heart pounding in my chest.

"We were cutting away his turnouts when we saw a nasty burn on his leg," Rosalie explained as she grabbed an ambu bag off the crash cart and handed it to Marcie, the respiratory therapist. Marcie placed the bag over Edward's mouth and began to assist his breaths and supply him with adequate amounts of oxygen. "His pressure dumped once the burn was opened up and he became non-responsive. STAT labs have been drawn already."

"Okay, he's having some massive fluid shifts," Dr. Connelly informed. "He needs rapid infusions, now. I want three liters up and pouring into him. Rosalie?"

But Rosalie had her hands full making sure she had a twelve lead going on his heart so she could see if there were any changes in his rhythm pattern. I grabbed the saline from the crash cart and began to prepare for the infusion.

"Bella, no…"

"You don't have any one else!" I yelled at the doc, giving him a firm and knowing look as I continued to work. Edward needed me, and I'd be damned if I froze up now.

"Get them up," Dr. Connelly told me. "What's his rate look like?"

"One sixty beats per minute," Rosalie answered as I tossed her the prepped line of saline, reaching for another one as she worked to get that one flowing.

"What happened?" Dr. Cullen asked his expression grave as he watched us work on his son.

"Fluid shifts," Dr. Connelly answered as he listened to Edward's heart through a stethoscope.

"What's his core temp?" Carlisle asked. Rosalie answered.

"One hundred point three."

"If you cool him down it will give you more time before anoxia sets in," Dr. Cullen suggested, knowing that if the oxygen flow to Edward's brain was compromised, the chances of brain injury were likely. "It will also help with vasoconstriction, giving you a better blood pressure to work with."

"Do it," Dr. Connelly ordered, and I tossed the second prepped liter to Rosalie and took off toward the supply closet where we housed our ice packs. I filled my arms with as many of the small gel packs as I could and tore back through the crowded ER halls, patients and employees watching curiously as I ran. I flung open the doors to the trauma room and my heart froze.

Mike was on top of Edward, straddling the bed, his arms held out, extended before him as he pressed on Edward's chest. I gasped, dropping my armload of ice packs, watching the love of my life crash before my eyes.

"His heart rate was too fast," I heard Carlisle's tear filled voice beside me. "It didn't have enough time to fill with blood."

"Bella, the ice!" I heard Rosalie say, and I snapped out of it. I reached for the fallen bags and began popping them to mix the gel with the chemical compound that made the cold. Shaking them a bit, I tossed each one to Rosalie as she began packing them under Edward's arms and groin.

"We need to set him up for cardioversion," Dr. Connelly stated, but his tone was more of a suggestion. We all knew that the man with the most experience was the one person who couldn't touch Edward. Due to the conflict of interest, it would put his license on the line. That didn't mean he couldn't offer suggestions; to think out loud.

"He needs to be intubated first," Carlisle suggested.

"Set it up," Dr. Connelly ordered. He worked with the respiratory therapists to place a breathing tube while Rosalie and I worked to get him ready for cardioverson. The hope was that shooting a small jolt of electricity into Edward's heart would make it stop, then restart into a slower, safer rhythm.

"I'm in," Dr. Connelly proclaimed, securing the breathing tube in place.

"He's ready," Rosalie declared shortly after.

"Okay. Let's start with twenty joules," Dr. Connelly ordered. "Hold compressions. Everyone clear! Three…two…one…"

Edward's body leapt off the bed as the shot of electricity shot through him. We all watched the monitor, not daring to speak, not daring to breath. The rate was one eighty three.

"Again at thirty…"

Another shot of electricity jolted him, sending his limbs jostling about like a rag doll. I closed my eyes as tears began to stream down my face.

* * *

**AN: Everyone take a collective breath...in...out...in...out...**

**There is one more full chapter after this one. It's been my honor and priveledge to write for you all, and I hope you have enjoyed this journey as much as I have. To those of you who do not like cliffies all I have to say is this...the chaps are written...updates will be swift.**

**Love you!**


	35. Chapter 34 Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

* * *

_The Final Chapter_

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Chapter 34 - A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

~ Bella ~

"We got him!"

Dr. Connelly had two fingers pressed on Edward's jugular, his expression timidly hopeful as the pulse from Edward's decelerated heart returned. A gust of breath seemed to be released from every single person in that room, and I felt a slight smile curve my lips in relief.

"He's coming around," Rosalie said, and I moved closer to the head of the bed so that I could be there when he woke up. I knew he'd be disoriented, and I didn't want him pulling out his breathing tube prematurely.

"Edward… Baby, it's me." Edward's eyes fluttered open and locked onto mine. I could see sheer terror in those green depths, and my eyes filled with tears in response. "It's okay, baby. They had to put down a breathing tube to secure your airway. Don't pull it out, okay?"

He blinked once, his way of saying he understood. He started to look around the room, his expression becoming more pained. His gaze locked on his father's, and I saw a silent conversation exchange between the pair of them — both stating how much they loved the other, both making solemn promises to speak of that love as soon as possible. There was something else in Edward's expression I couldn't place, but it was close to panic. I looked toward Carlisle again for interpretation and saw nothing but strength and resilience in the older Cullen.

I felt Edward's hand move slightly, and I looked down to see it edging toward me. I saved him the effort and put mine in his. He felt cold to the touch, his fingers still black from the fire: A fire that could have taken him from me forever. I looked up to his face, needing to see that he was alive again after that stark reminder of where he'd been only a short time ago.

"They have a room for him in the ICU," Rosalie said as she hung up the phone. "He'll be on the second floor, room 211."

"Okay, good. Let's get him a Fentanyl drip going to keep him comfortable." Edward began shaking his head no, not wanting the pain medication anywhere near him. It would make him sleepy, he knew, and he'd probably be out for several hours. Dr. Connelly turned to reassure him. "If you remain stable you may not need that tube in long, but I don't want to cause your heart unnecessary stress."

Edward glanced over to his father who had remained motionless just inside the door, as if he was afraid that by moving, Edward would somehow go downhill again. Or perhaps he was not ready to let his guard down just yet, knowing from experience that these kinds of things can turn bad quickly, not allowing himself to close the distance between him and his son. Carlisle nodded his head once at Edward, and Edward did the same to Dr. Connelly, giving him his permission to start the infusion.

The time it took for them to prep Edward for transport to the ICU passed by in a blur. I only remembered watching blankly as Rosalie started the medication, my gaze shifting between watching her perform the familiar movements and staring at Edward as his eyes closed slowly, his terrified grip on my hand loosening. Before I knew it, they were wheeling him away, and I made promises to see him in his room as soon as the nurses upstairs got him tucked in, even though I knew he probably couldn't hear me.

I stepped outside of that horrible trauma room in a zombie-like state, my gaze fixed on the floor unseeing. I could see people moving around me in my periphery, but my mind was still stuck on the what-ifs. What if he hadn't gotten out of the fire in time? What if we couldn't have slowed his heart?

What if it happened again?

"Bella…" I glanced up to see Emmett's tear streaked face looking at me with the same lost expression I was sure I had, and I burst out into full sobs as his arms enveloped me. He began rubbing my back soothingly as I broke down, telling me comforting words I couldn't hear over the ripping cries coming from my chest. I felt myself being pulled away as another set of arms wrapped around me, my face finding a dry shirt to soak. This one smelled less like a chimney, I oddly noted.

"Shh, Bella," Carlisle's deep voice rumbled. "He's in good hands..."

"I d-don't know what I would do if I lost him," I blubbered, my voice muffled in his cotton threads.

"I know sweetheart," he crooned, and after several moments of his reassuring strokes along my back and comforting presence, I felt slightly better. Carlisle would never replace my father, but I could definitely see him filling a large part of the gaping hole Charlie's death had left behind.

"When can I see him?" I said after my sobs subsided, pulling back to look into his watered eyes.

"Soon," he told me in a gruff tone, emotion clogging his throat. "This hospital has the best ICU in Washington, and I'm sure both Edward and Seth will be spending time in the burn unit as well."

_Seth..._

In all of the drama and upheaval I had forgotten that there was another victim in that horrible fire. A strong wave of guilt washed over me at my complete lack of focus.

"How is Seth?"

"He was stable when they moved him to ICU," Carlisle said, his glance shifting between me and Emmett. I was sure that Em wanted to know about his condition as much as I did, and was probably listening to Carlisle's report with bated breath. "He did code twice before we got enough fluid in him to keep him stabilized. He wasn't awake, but we did have a strong set of vitals."

"Shit..." I heard Emmett mutter in a broken voice, and I turned to see him with Rosalie's arms wrapped around his waist, keeping him together in more ways than one. "This is just fucked up in so many ways. I never…would've thought..."

"I know, son," Carlisle said soothingly but with an edge of fury to his tone. "This shouldn't have happened." He reached across the small distance and placed a hand on Emmett's trembling shoulders. The gesture was so paternal, and I recognized that Carlisle was not just Edward's dad, but a mentor and support to us all.

"Has anyone called Natalie?" Rosalie said on an emotionally laden whisper, and my heart cried out for the recent mother and wife to the fallen hero. What Natalie Clearwater was going to have to face would be hard for anyone, but with Seth having coded twice... I shuddered to think of what condition he must've been in, or would be in once the smoke cleared.

"I did," Emmett nodded. "And I called Jazz. He and Ali are on their way back." We all nodded gravely, knowing the emotional rollercoaster that lay ahead.

The whizzing of the emergency room doors resounded across the relatively quiet floor, and I turned as a terrified voice registered from the nurse's station.

"Where is he?" Esme was asking the unit clerk, her voice trembling.

"Ez..." Carlisle called to her, and Esme turned to see the four of us huddled together, each soaked with tears and raw emotion. Thinking the worst had happened, Esme fell to the floor in unbridled cries of anguish. Carlisle rushed to her side.

"No!" she screamed, her voice so high-pitched with grief that my eyes closed automatically as her pain washed through my soul. The reality of what could have been was so raw it nearly consumed me. I felt Emmett and Rosalie approach me, their comforting presence much needed in that moment. With a sigh I opened my eyes, tears streaming from them. My vision focused as I watched across the solemnly stilled ER, all attention on the devastating picture of a mother's most desperate fear come to life.

It took several minutes for Carlisle to convince Esme that Edward wasn't dead, and it was on shaky legs when she finally was able to move closer to us. Once she was in front of me, looking into my eyes with frantic trepidation and uncertainty, my control cracked once again. We were both a sodden mess, wrapped in each other's arms as we cried for our Edward.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

The night had been one of the longest in my life. It was eleven o'clock in the evening, only a mere five hours after I'd almost lost everything, and still it felt like ages ago. I was sitting inside of Edward's room in the Intensive Care Unit, staring out into the darkened streets of Seattle. I watched a swarm of reporters crowd in front of the hospital like they were holding some kind of vigil. There had been several inquiries on Edward's condition, but the hospital had yet to make a formal statement. They didn't want to announce any definitive news beyond that he was in critical condition. I assumed the same was being said about Seth.

The city's various public service departments had already sent both Edward and Seth flowers and cards filled with well wishes. Carlisle had received so many calls of concern from colleagues and friends that he had to finally turn his phone off so that he could focus on Edward. My phone had remained silent, for everyone that mattered in my life was here at the hospital with me.

Jasper and Alice had arrived at the hospital nearly an hour ago, both with swollen eyes and concern etched on their expressions. Jasper had looked the worst, and after he'd spent a good amount of time sitting at Edward's bedside, his eyes searching over his best friend and the countless tubes and wires leading from his body to different machinery, he left to pay the same homage at Seth's.

I had yet to see Seth. I had yet to do anything but sit in Edward's room, watching… waiting for him to wake up.

They'd turned off all of the sedation a mere ten minutes ago in preparation to remove the breathing tube, but he hadn't moved. There were only two visitors allowed at a time in the unit, but they'd bent the rules a little just for us. It was like they understood they couldn't remove me, Carlisle, or Esme from Edward's bedside, and they didn't push us on it.

Emmett, too, was like a motionless sentinel against the wall, watching over Edward for the first couple of hours. I had finally convinced him to take care of that ankle about an hour and a half ago. He'd agreed to get it x-rayed once Jasper had arrived, probably feeling that at least if one of the 'brothers' was there with Edward, he was okay to leave. Rosalie took him back to the emergency room where he was probably receiving the royal treatment, no doubt. Every Seattle fire boy was considered a VIP as far as everyone at Harborview Medical was concerned.

Natalie's arrival to the hospital was by far the most emotional, I thought. She didn't have any family in town so she had to bring her newborn with her. Once she'd arrived, it was like the place had filled with off-duty firemen, each of them offering her a shoulder to cry on, an arm to grasp in grief…

The countless wives who'd accompanied their husbands had watched the littlest Clearwater while Seth's wife went into the room to see him. I could hear her screams of agony from clear across the unit. They echoed the ones in my heart, the torturous cries of despair that had never been quieted since the news came of our injured boys. And they wouldn't stop until they were home safe with us.

I knew that I should go to her, share in her struggle, be that empathetic partner in this hellish nightmare, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Edward, not even for a moment. It was incredibly selfish of me, but I just…couldn't. And I was sure that Natalie felt the same.

"You need to see this…" Emmett came into the room with a little limp, followed by Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice. All of them wore solemn expressions; the boys' were laced with anger, and Esme, Carlisle, and I sat up a little straighter, wondering what was going on. Emmett picked up the remote on the bedside table and clicked the television on.

"He was a cherished son," Caius Cullen was saying in front of a parade of cameras, each scrambling to get the live feed. My eyes glanced outside once again, watching Caius standing there in person, his wife, Heidi, standing next to him. Both of them looked like the picture of grief and remorse, and my stomach turned. My eyes flashed back to the TV to take it all in.

"Edward will always be remembered in our family as the one who stood true to himself. The one who decided to serve this great city. To give back to the community with his very life. We are saddened by his death, and we hope that all of Seattle…no…the entire nation will celebrate his courageous life with us."

"But…" I began, incredulous as a wave of irrational panic consumed me. _What the hell was he doing?_

"I am making a memorial in Edward's honor. Perhaps we can do more good in his name…" The reporters went wild then, asking question after question as the relentless flurry of flashes went off, each capturing the grieving grandfather of Seattle's fallen hero. I could see the headlines forming now.

"Mr. Cullen, how did you find out that he passed?" one of them shouted.

"Do you have any news of how the fire was started?" another one bellowed.

"How will the Cullen family pay tribute to his memory?"

"I'm going to kill him," Carlisle exclaimed, and I turned to see the man absolutely seething beside me. I'd never in my life witnessed anger as vivid and on the verge of exploding as I did on his face, but I wouldn't soon forget it.

"Get in line," Emmett growled, his fists clenched at his side, his rage burning just as Carlisle's was. Jasper's stance echoed his.

"What the hell is he doing?" Esme screeched her tone alarmed. "How could he…say that he's…?"

"I will take care of this," Carlisle growled, marching himself out of the room with a determination to kill. Emmett and Jasper followed quickly behind him. I turned toward the girls, my eyes laced with tears. They looked at me with sympathetic expressions.

I just couldn't believe that Caius would go as far as this. My suspicions were off the charts when I'd learned that the Volturi Corporation owned the Kings Building, but now with Caius' statement to the press…

It was almost as if he was seeking sympathy, that this was all some kind of elaborate plot. Could he have set Edward up just for the publicity alone?

I didn't know what was going on; it was like the world had gone mad. I suddenly became overwhelmed with everything. My face fell into my hands as I let my frustration and fear come out in waves, crying tears of torment and anger. Esme was wrapped around me before I could even fall to pieces properly.

"Bella…Bella…" she sang, rocking me gently as I sobbed. "He's fine, Bella. He'll be just fine."

"How could that awful man say that he was dead? Why would he do that? Is he planning on hurting Edward? Would he do that Esme?" I pulled back to stare deep into her eyes, seeking the truth, hoping that she knew whether Edward was safe. I never would've thought the man would go as far as to hurt one of his kin, but now, I would put nothing past him.

"Carlisle would _never_ let it get that far," Esme proclaimed as her own tears ran down her beautiful face unchecked. "This ends today, mark my words. That man will not be within one hundred yards of Edward. And if Carlisle isn't enough to put that man straight, believe me, he's never seen the rage of a mother…"

I giggled slightly, almost manically. For some reason, the thought of unleashing Esme on Caius was comical. It could've been the tense situation or my exhaustion coming in to play, but suddenly I found myself in a fit of laughter. And soon, I wasn't alone in my hysteria. Esme let out a loud guffaw, and the four of us ended up in stitches, clutching our sides and we let everything out in morbid humor.

"Well it seems the mood has lightened in this room," the nurse said wryly as she came into the room to check on Edward. She glanced around, studying each of us in turn. We must have been a sight: Four fully grown women regressed to giggling teenagers.

"Esme…the silencer…" I said through my giggles, and it sent us all into uncontrollable fits of laugher once again.

"I'm glad to hear you all laughing," Regina said, nodding her approval. "And it seems someone else likes it as well." Her gaze had paused on Edward, and we all fell silent as we looked toward his bed.

Edward was watching us through sleepy eyes, his expression inquisitive even through the heavy sedation and breathing tube. Esme and I rushed to his side.

"Baby…" Esme exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. Were we being too loud?" I asked, and his gaze flickered between mine and Esme's, his expression remaining the same: questioning.

"Well, he can't answer you like this, you silly girls," Regina chuckled, coming over to Edward to take a better neurological assessment. She had him follow her commands for several exercises, including one that would test his strength. When she was satisfied that he was no longer under the sedative, she called in the Respiratory Therapist.

"This is Jeff," Regina said, gesturing toward a handsome older man carrying an array of masks and tubing he'd need after Edward was extubated. Jeff nodded his hello and began setting up for the procedure.

"Now, Edward. You can't talk for two hours after the tube is removed," Regina instructed with a firm expression. "We don't need any swelling around your vocal cords, okay?" Edward nodded his understanding. "You guys may want to leave the room. It can be hard to watch."

"I'm fine," I told her, but Esme stepped out with Rosalie and Alice. Once they were outside, Jeff started to explain the procedure.

"Okay, Edward. This is going to make you cough something fierce, and that's a good thing. I'm going to clean out your mouth before and after, but I'm afraid it's going to taste rank for the next couple of hours, my friend. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is."

I smiled encouraging at Edward as he looked at me with a mild shrug of his shoulders. I couldn't wait until the tube was out and we could have a conversation, so that I could tell him that I loved him and nothing else mattered but him. Jeff's voice interrupted my silent reverie.

"Now, the doc says that he didn't see any airway swelling," Jeff told us both evenly. "But if you notice any wheezing, or any difficulty breathing, you have to tell us immediately, okay? We don't want to end up having to Cric you like we did your friend."

Edward turned a set of frightened eyes on me, and I quickly reassured him. "Seth is okay, baby. They just had a rough time at first. He's fine."

I turned a livid glare on Jeff. "Could you possibly stop the commentary? I don't want him upset."

"Of course," Jeff said as he finished his set up, his expression rightfully sheepish. He cleaned Edward's mouth several times before he unhooked the device that held the tube in place. With a final deep suction, Jeff released the cuff on the tube and pulled it out, making Edward cough profusely.

Although it was hard to watch, my hand stayed securely in Edward's the whole time, making sure he knew I was there if he needed me. His grip on me hadn't slackened a bit, not in the moments it took for him to regain his breath, not in the time he'd stared into my eyes lovingly, and not when he'd fallen to sleep just mere thirty minutes after to tube was removed. I watched him sleeping peacefully, my gaze shifting between his still form and the oxygen levels on the monitor. He was maintaining a saturation of ninety eight percent on only two liters of oxygen. I let out a sigh of relief. He was going to be fine.

It was then that I noticed the angry burns on Edward's neck and face, and my eyes drifted over the rest of him. It was like I was seeing his injuries for the first time, like my mind hadn't been able to process any more except that he was alive and breathing on his own. Now, I could see the evidence of what he'd been through, of how close he'd been to death, of how easily he could've been gone.

As if sensing my spiraling fears, Edward's grip on my hand tightened slightly. I glanced up to see if he was awake but was met with his closed eyes and handsome, still features. I sighed, shaking my head of all negative thoughts. That kind of thing didn't have a place in this room. It was for healing only, and that atmosphere would start with me.

I watched him for several more minutes before nature was starting to break down my door. There weren't any patient bathrooms in the ICU, so I slowly extricated my hand from Edward's and made my way toward the waiting room.

The halls were relatively quiet this time of night, and it shocked me as I checked my wrist watch to find that it was nearing midnight. It suddenly dawned on me that Esme and the others had never returned to see Edward after his extubation. Curious, I reached for my phone.

"No, I won't Caius," I heard a voice growl, and I paused just outside the waiting room as I saw James glaring at Caius, his posture rigid with incredulity. "I'm done, do you hear me? I won't hurt that girl anymore than I have."

"Miss Swan has been a liability from the beginning," Caius sneered, and the tone of his voice made him sound like a conniving snake. "She needs to be taken out of the situation."

"You stay away from her," James growled, coming closer to Caius as if he were planning to strike him. My insides cheered at the gesture. "She doesn't deserve this; she's a nice girl, Caius."

"But the _wrong_ girl," Caius stated plainly, and a shot of anger whipped through me in outrage. "And if you are not enough of a distraction for her, maybe another way is more prudent."

"What does any of this matter?" James exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "You've told the world that Edward is dead. Isn't that enough of a diversion?"

"My jumping the gun, as it seems, will soon be corrected in the media. And it has been made clear to me that my demands are not clear enough," Caius stated flatly, rubbing his chin as if soothing an ache. I saw James' eyes shift toward Cullen's movements, and a small glint of approval lit his expression.

"So that's who gave you that nasty bruise," James chuckled. "Your son finally told you how things are?"

"My _son_ is dead to me now," Caius spat. "He is just as weak as my daughter's spawn. Edward inherited that from that pathetic father of his. It's a wonder how they are as successful as they are…or were, as in my son-in-law's case."

"I don't get this," James said, backing away from Caius as if he were a nut who'd escaped from the looney bin. "What's your obsession with them?"

"Obsession?" Caius sneered in outrage. "They are Cullens; they are family."

"I think somewhere down the line you mixed that term up with playthings," James muttered.

"I couldn't agree more," I said defiantly, stepping into the room and leveling a glare toward the senior Cullen like he was the scum of the Earth. Both men whirled around, each of them looking at me with different expressions. James had the sense to look sheepish, while Caius seemed more calculating.

"Miss Swan, at last we meet," Caius crooned smoothly, coming toward me as if to shake my hand. I put my palms out to stop him.

"Don't come near me," I growled, disgusted. "I don't know what you are up to and I don't care. Just the horrible display you put on for the press outside is enough to make me dislike you. You stay away from me; you stay away from Edward."

A sick smile curved Caius' mouth, his expression going from calm indulgence to downright evil. "Let me assure you, dear. The welfare of what my family is no longer your concern. As of this moment, you are no longer welcome in the hospital. Your position here has been stripped from you forthwith, and the care of my grandson is in my keeping alone. You may leave of your own freewill or I will have security escort you out, as I did my ill-mannered son and his hot tempered wife."

"You couldn't…"

"Oh yes, my dear. I can. As I own Mr. Cannon here, I own this hospital just as fully. You will find that this whole damn town is…how did you put it?...my play thing."

"You won't get away with this," I told him desperately, a mixture of panic and anger battling inside my mind for control. "I will _kill _you before you touch him!" It seemed the anger was winning.

"Is that a threat, Miss Swan?" Caius laughed. "And in front of a witness, no less. Why Mr. Cannon, what are we to do with such petulance?"

"I didn't hear a thing," James stated firmly, crossing his arms in front of his chest in defiance.

"I own you, Cannon," Caius growled. "I can bring you down quickly if I have to. Now, you couldn't follow through on wooing Miss Swan away, perhaps you will be useful this way instead."

"How dare you…" I swore, glaring at Caius with a fury I didn't know I was capable of mustering.

"It is apparent to me that neither of you understand just how long my arm can stretch," Caius said, his tone becoming more calm, more relaxed. He took a seat on one of the plastic chairs that filled the vacant waiting room as if he owned the place, and from his earlier statements, it seemed he did.

"Not far enough," I heard a familiar voice declare, and I turned to see Jacob standing behind me. I was shocked, his presence the last thing I'd expected in that moment. As I stared at him with wide eyes, I noticed that Jake seemed taller than I remembered. His firm stance felt somewhat comforting to me, despite what had happened between us. Jacob had always been a great friend to me, and in this moment, having him there with me while Caius attempted to bully his way through my life, made me feel safe.

"Detective Jacob Black," Caius smiled. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I've come to speak to Edward, of course," Jacob explained with a friendly tone, but there was some hidden quality underneath that had my attention piqued. "My boss had an interesting conversation with Mr. Carlisle Cullen only a few moments ago," Jacob explained. "It seems you've been quite busy in your business endeavors."

"You think the department is able to take me down?" Caius smiled with a hint of tolerance, as if he were laughing inside at Jacob's attempt at diversion. "I own that department, Black. That and countless others on the force. Stop with your empty threats because they will find you on the unemployment line."

"It's funny to me how you seem so defensive when I mention talking to your grandson," Jacob stated calmly.

"I'm not defensive." Caius spat the word.

"Seems that way to me," Jacob laughed. "And as far as my department being under your thumbnail, I know for a fact that Sam isn't. And neither am I."

"The whole department is!" Caius screamed as he stood abruptly from his seat, his face going red. "You can't scare me with your pathetic tactics, detective. I will have your job by the end of the night as surely as I had Miss Swan's."

"You see, that's where you are mistaken. I don't work for the Seattle Police Department, Mr. Cullen. I work for the FBI, as does my boss."

I looked at Jacob, shocked. I had no idea that he'd jumped ships, as it were. Was that how he'd known about Edward's parents? Had the Cullens been under investigation? If he was running inquiries into their dealings, perhaps that was why he'd been so adamant that Edward was bad for me. Maybe he was just trying to protect me from what he perceived as a threat. I glanced at Caius and saw the man pale for the first time at Jacob's statement. My inner tiger cheered at his sudden discomfort.

"I would like to finish our discussion as well, Mr. Cannon," Jacob said, looking at James with a calm authority that had me jumping in triumphant circles inside.

"Of course," James replied just as calmly, and Caius paled even further.

"Cannon!" he exclaimed, his tone a sharp warning.

"Caius, it's over. I'm done playing this game. And just so you know, the only reason I listened to your instructions to take away Bella from your grandson was so that I could make sure she was safe from your meddling," he said with a smirk. "I've been talking to the FBI for months."

Caius looked like he was going to be sick. He scrambled into the corner of the room like a caged animal, his captors ready to take him to the slaughterhouse.

"You didn't…you can't…"

"It's over, father," I heard Carlisle declare, and I turned to see him standing strong next to Jacob, the pair of them forming a solid wall of reality; one that Caius couldn't soon escape. "You will never interfere with my family again."

"Do you realize what you've done?" Caius screamed in a panic. "You have ruined this family! You have destroyed what we've built!"

"No, father. I have ended your line of tyranny and deplorable acts. The Cullen legacy will not be corrupted by your dealings any longer. The threat against my son was the final straw. The Feds have everything they need. You're done."

* * *

**AN: I started out on this journey almost two years ago. These characters came to me during a time when I needed a positive distraction from a great sadness in my life. It is with a happy yet heavy heart that I say goodbye to them.**

**Through this story I have made some awesome friends. **

**Hibbleton…Do you remember how we met? LOL! I found your story on a rec blog and couldn't put it down. I was looking for a beta and I lucked out when you said yes. Having you with me on this has been instrumental. This story wouldn't be what it is if you hadn't been such a kick ass editor. My Google Queen, you are, and I couldn't thank you enough for it.**

**Neliz… I don't know what to say. I am truly honored to call you my dear friend. You were the first person to make me feel like I was writing something worthwhile. You've always been my support through my fanfic career. You've given me the courage to keep writing, talked me down from some pretty high cliffs, and were there to tell me to snap out of my blocks. To the next 2 years, my friend, and many more to come.**

**Thank you to all of my Sings readers. Thank you for all of the reviews, the comments, the tears, and the laughs. Because of you I had enough cajones to start writing more stories. **

**There is an epilogue to follow in the next couple of days. Until then, thanks again.**

**~ Emily**


	36. Epilogue

**Twilight character names belong to Stephanie Meyer. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to the respective author. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization.©2011 Emily Bowden. All rights reserved worldwide.**

* * *

Epilogue

"I don't understand this whole thing," Edward whispered into Bella's ear, his eyes darting around the crowded cafeteria-slash-auditorium, hoping his words were not overheard. "I mean, whoever heard of a graduation from kindergarten?"

"It's a rite of passage," Bella giggled, nudging Edward with her shoulder in a playful manner. "She's leaving the land of make believe and playing with the big kids now."

"Whatever," Edward chuckled as the lights in the cafeteria dimmed. The familiar beats of "Pomp and Circumstance" flowed from a huge loudspeaker, and everyone in the audience stood as the kids began to file in.

Each proud child wore a paper mache cap and gown, decorated with varying sized hand prints and colored emblems. Several parents held cameras to their faces, taking a countless succession of photographs that marked this time in their child's life. Grandparents smiled and waved emphatically as their loved ones passed, and each child wore a smile that could have stopped the world's wars, ended poverty, and made the angels sing all at once.

Bella stood on her tippy toes as she tried to see over the many heads, bobbing and weaving, trying to get a good view.

"I don't see her," she frowned, her expression turning fierce as a large man the size of Emmett stood in her line of sight.

"She's coming," Edward laughed as he placed a hand on the small of Bella's back, trying to calm her enough that she wouldn't lose her infamous temper. He swore, nowadays, that Bella had taken a few lessons in temper tantrums from his mother. She was feisty, to say the least, and the fact that she was under a ton of stress at work only worsened things. Being the manager of an Emergency Department tended to do that to a person.

Bella huffed, seething as she glared at the back of the huge male, wanting nothing more than to curse his first born for blocking her view to the one she wanted to see.

"There she is," Edward said, pointing toward the front of the room.

"Where? I can't see her!" Bella yelled loud enough that the guy in front of her turned to give her an apologetic smile, ducking down so the much more petite female could see around him. Bella smiled as she saw her conquest in her beautiful, resplendent glory.

"She looks so happy," Bella said with only a few tears in her voice. Edward rolled his eyes indulgently, knowing that those tears wouldn't be the first to fall that evening. Not with what he had planned.

"She does indeed," he agreed, yet his eyes were not fixed where Bella's had been drawn. His eyes were planted squarely on her, watching as the glee floated through her face at seeing the precious little girl graduate from kindergarten.

It wasn't long ago that they had been in such dire straits. The girl, Bella, and Edward himself had the most trying year. They'd recovered from different battles, but had all come out of them triumphant.

Bella with her fear for Edward…

Edward from his close call with death…

Nikki from the loss of her family…

The three of them would forever be bonded, and on such a momentous day for all three of them, Edward couldn't think of a better way to make this special for Bella. With what he had planned, today would be day that they'd all remember.

"I wonder where Peter and Charlotte are." Bella glanced around the room, trying to see where Nikki's aunt and uncle were.

"I'm sure they're around here somewhere," Edward answered, placing a small kiss on Bella's temple, claiming her attention. She turned to smile at him warmly, giving him a small peck before she gave her attention back toward Nikki. She smiled as she watched the little angel take her seat on stage, her pink ruffled skirt flaring out around her little legs, showing off her studded little heels Bella had bought her just for the occasion.

The evening was spent with each teacher giving a heart filled recap of their year with each class, pointing out a few special events or projects the students really enjoyed. The children laughed as the principle recalled their April Fool's joke on her, filling the audience in at the punch line. It appeared the kids found it funny to stuff her desk full with plastic snakes, but the principle had nearly peed her pants at seeing the ominous creatures wrapped around her writing utensils.

After each class had stood to receive their formal ushering into grade school, the classes separated so that they could perform their rehearsed songs of celebration. Edward sighed aloud when another class had started their rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings", dedicating it to all the parents who'd supported them through the rigorous year.

"It's like they're graduating from Med school or something," he whispered into Bella's ear. She frowned at him disapprovingly, and then turned a tear-filled eye back on stage as she watched the little ones sing to their hearts' content. Edward shook his head, wondering if Bella was nearing that time of the month. She seemed more emotional nowadays, and he hoped it wouldn't hinder the night to come.

"I'm going to go use the little boys' room," he told her in no more than a whisper, and after a firm hushing from his woman, Edward bowed out of the auditorium, his quick steps leading him one step closer to his ultimate destination.

Bella turned to watch him leave for a moment, admiring him as she had many times, finding herself thankful once again that she was blessed enough to call him her own. The last year had been a rough one, but at the end of it she'd found herself more confident in her relationship than she'd ever been about anything in her entire life.

Edward's recovery was long and brutal. The days that followed Edward's extubation were tough on many levels. His pain level was off the charts, and his risk for infection was high on the doctors' list of top concerns. He'd broken his left wrist at some point in the fire, and he seemed to have a lingering lower back pain the MRI attributed to a bulging disk in his lumbar spine.

The burns on his neck were the worst. He had to have several skin grafts along the right side of his neck in order to give that area healthy skin. Bella knew well that once a patient's skin integrity was called into question, the risk of a systemic wide infection grew exponentially. In fact, one of the number one causes of patient death after a significant burn was infection. It was the easiest thing that could take Edward from her, and it was the hardest enemy to defend against, no matter how many prophylactic antibiotics the docs put Edward on. Sepsis was a deadly killer, one you couldn't see coming until it was too late.

It was the same thing that took Seth after a three month long battle.

Bella had become incredibly close to Natalie in the weeks that followed the fire. She would offer her support, answer any medical questions that she could, and interpret what the doctors told her when she didn't understand. She'd been there when the doctors told her friend that her husband had come down with the infection. Bella held her hand when the doctors moved him back into the ICU, she cried with her when they said the infection was so far spread, it was affecting his organs. And when they had to put the breathing tube back in, giving his tired and over-run body a much needed rest, Bella had kept Natalie sane and informed, explaining every excruciating detail to her as she watched her husband being kept alive with machines.

In the end, Seth's organs failed completely. At first it was his kidneys, and then his liver. His lungs developed a condition called Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome.

Seth died on a Tuesday with his wife holding his hand, his daughter outside his isolation room, sleeping soundly in Captain Banner's arms. The whole department seemed to be there the day she let him go, celebrating him in his death as a hero.

Seth's death was another charge placed on the feet of the Cullen patriarch, one he was finally paying for.

The media went wild in the days that immediately followed the fire. Each headline was filled with heroic stories of Edward and how he'd shunned a life in society to serve his great city. They called him a rebel, making him seem like a legend, and it would have been admirable except for the fact that the whole thing was orchestrated by Caius.

He'd started the media frenzy with his premature announcement stating that Edward had died in the fire, but despite his horrible blunder, the media was still willing to interview him at every available opportunity. Caius, of course, had them eating out of the palm of his hand. Countless investigations into the Kings Building were led by the eager press, fueled by a mysterious leak of the department's countless regulation fines to the owners. The VC was hiding behind a mountain of lawyers, but the right questions were being asked about their negligence. No one had found a link between Caius and the Volturi Corporation…as least, no one in the press had.

It seemed that after Caius had made his mistake in front of the media, Carlisle demonstrated how he felt about his father with a sharp right hook. Caius had retaliated by taking Carlisle's job on the spot. It had taken three security guards to hold back an irate Esme, and even as they escorted her out of the grounds, she was able to hock a lugie that was described as golf ball sized on top of Caius' designer shoes. That had been the last straw, Carlisle had decided, and he'd called the FBI that moment, giving him what they needed to take Caius down for good.

Carlisle knew about Caius' dirty investments with countless criminal organizations, the Volturi's being only one. He'd become suspicious after his sister's death, and after some investigation into his brother-in-laws things, he began to piece things together. It seemed that he'd involved Edward's father in some shady trading, resulting in a hit being placed on Ed Sr.'s head. Of course when he'd taken his own life, the Volturi's had no avenue for compensation, so Caius had kept their arrangement in secret.

The FBI investigation had found ties between Caius, the Volturi's, and countless other organizations that were fronts for illegal activity. All they needed was the confirmation from Carlisle to fill in the missing pieces. The Denali's had been involved as well, but only minutely in comparison. Both Tanya and her father were brought up on embezzlement charges, but they were dropped to only a slap on the wrist, claiming ignorance and faulty information by their fellow business partner, Caius Cullen.

James had owed money to Caius, but in exchange for his six figure debt, Caius had him doing some shady errands; keeping Bella from Edward had been one of his assigned tasks.

Cullen had escaped detection for a long time, and the FBI suspected that he had people within the Seattle Police Department keeping things hush-hush whenever he'd get sloppy. Sam was sent to Seattle by the Washington branch, playing the undercover Chief while trying to sniff out the rats within the department. Jacob had been recruited shortly after Sam's arrival, fast-tracking his application to bureau and landing him a job on the front lines.

Although Cauis had been in the hot seat for his financial investments and underhand trading, nothing compared to the murder charges that followed his indictment. One of the Volturi brothers confessed to the FBI agents that Caius had put them up to rigging the Kings building to blow. They knew that Edward's company had been responding to the false alarms, and after several trial runs, they'd created a backdraft in one of the back rooms so that when the door was opened, the whole thing would catch.

Carlisle was devastated and appalled. Sam allowed him to speak to his father alone after the charges were filed, and Carlisle had come out of that room a very different man. He just couldn't believe that his father would try to have Edward killed, yet he hadn't really known the man to begin with.

Edward's recovery was filled with hills and valleys, stilted with the surprising discovery that his family had been under investigation by the FBI for over a year prior to the fire. Once Edward was able to, Jacob had interviewed him about his previous investments, focusing on the ones that had ties to Caius' various businesses. Edward was open and honest with Jacob and his team, explaining his rationale behind each decision to make the initial investment, and what spawned his choice to pull the funds out in the end.

About six months ago, Caius Cullen was charged with money laundering, tax evasion, and fraud. Once Seth had died, and based on Carlisle's information he'd gathered over the years linking him to the Volturi mob, the district attorney also added a conspiracy to complete mass murder charge. Caius was investing his empire on lawyer fees, but the team he had behind him was like a machine. Bella wasn't confident Caius would pay for his crimes, but the damage had been done as far as Edward was concerned. He knew his grandfather thrived on the cultured pearl he'd made his family's legacy out to be. Now that the gem was tarnished in the public eye, Caius didn't have anything to hide behind.

The trial was still ongoing, and the year ahead of them promised to be as trying as the last had been. Bella knew that no matter what happened in their lives, they could face anything. Getting through those moments when she thought lost her love for certain had been trying and unforgettable. She would never again take advantage of any second she had with him.

Bella sighed as she looked back toward the stage. Parents and siblings were applauding for their loved ones as they finished their dedication. Nikki's class was up next, and Bella's breath caught in her throat as she watched her little lady walk up to the podium. The teacher situated the microphone so that it reached Nikki's mouth better, and she cleared her throat before she began.

"Hi, my name is Nikki. I wanted to tell all of the parents here about my story, and my teacher said I could." A couple of the parents laughed indulgently as Nikki made her introduction. A few flashes went off; capturing her moment in the spot light, and Bella glanced in their direction briefly to see if it came from Nikki's family. She couldn't see anyone, so she fixed her attention back on her sweet angel, watching as Nikki looked out into the audience as if looking for someone.

"It was a year ago this month that I lost my family to a car accident," Nikki said, her gaze peering at the podium as if she was reading from a prewritten script. "I loved them very dearly, but from that accident I got a new family."

There were several sniffles in the audience as Nikki's little voice resonated throughout the stilled cafeteria, and Bella found herself choking back her own wave of tears.

"It's like I have another set of parents and sisters. My Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Peter treat me kindly, and I love playing with my cousins. But most of all I love that I got a new big sister out of all of this."

Nikki let out a deep sigh, the air from her lungs brushing up against the microphone. She paused for a second, looking out toward the audience once more. Bella's breath stopped in her throat, joining the tears as they both burned and threatened to break through her composure.

"I found her in a hospital. She helped take care of me and helped me not to be so scared when I was hurt. She sang to me and came to visit me all of the time. Now that I'm better, she comes over and takes me places. She buys me new things, like these pretty shoes." Nikki held out one lace covered leg to show off her new shoes, and the audience purred and crooned to show their approval.

"There is another person here that helped me, too. But he's not like my big sister. He is a hero, just like the ones in the movies. He doesn't wear a cape or anything like that, but he is special because he gets to drive big red trucks and saves people from fires, just like he saved me from the accident."

Bella let a tear fall as she searched around the room frantically, upset that Edward was missing Nikki's tribute to him. It had to be such a special, brave moment for the sweet angel, and Edward was going to hear a few words about him skipping out early if she had anything to say about it.

"I am lucky because my hero fell in love with my big sister," Nikki laughed, earning more than a few chuckles in her captivated audience. "He loves her like a prince loves a princess; he told me so."

Nikki paused and looked over to her classmates, giving them some kind of secret signal. The kids filed out of the curtains and grouped in the middle of the stage, facing the parents in preparation.

"I asked my teacher if we could do something for my big sister, and she said that I could. So, me and my fwends," Nikki still had a hard time with her R's, "planned something just for my new big sister. Bella, can you come up here please?"

The lights lifted slightly and a few people in the crowd started looking around the room, searching for her, no doubt. Bella felt a heat color her cheeks as she stood, garnering the attention of those around her. She made her way to the stage, Nikki smiling widely the whole way. Bella felt several eyes follow her assent, and her idle mind wondered where Edward had gone to in middle of this embarrassing display.

Bella joined Nikki by the podium, where the little angel gripped Bella's hand tightly. Nikki stepped down from the steps she'd used and walked Bella to a chair off to the side that Bella hadn't noticed from her seat in the audience. Once Bella was seated, Nikki backed away with a smile. She glanced toward someone hidden behind the curtains, giving them a conspiratorial wink.

The lights dimmed once again, and Bella smiled at Nikki as she beamed back at her, looking like the perfect model of a little princess in her pink dress. The musical instructor sat herself at the old styled piano and began tinkling with the keys. The notes registered in Bella's mind, and she began looking around her questioningly as she remembered the song's significance.

_Saying I love you_

_Is not the words I want to hear from you_

_It's not that I don't want you_

_Not to say, but if you only knew_

_How easy it would be to show me how you feel_

_More than words is all you have to do make this real_

_Then you wouldn't have to say _

_That you loved me_

_Cause I'd already know_

The little voices had problems with some of the octaves, and the notes seemed to jumble around, making a mess of the song, but Bella didn't care. She watched as Nikki tried to sing her hardest, closing her eyes as she concentrated on the pitch of her voice. She put her hand on her chest as she sang, right above her heart. Bella blushed, smiling slightly as she recognized the familiar gesture she often did herself when she sang without her guitar to keep her idle hands company.

There was a deep timbre that joined in with the kids from behind the curtains, getting the tempo of the song back on track. Perhaps it was a teacher, Bella mused. But as more of the kids stopped singing and began smiling at her with a secret in their expressions, Bella became suspicious. It was only when Nikki was left singing along with her mysterious deep crooning behind the curtain, that Bella's breath caught in her throat. She recognized that voice as the one that would hum in her ear at night, telling her the words he felt in his heart, making sure she knew how much she was loved.

Edward stepped from behind the curtain, giving a wink to an absolutely beaming Nikki as he turned to place his green eyes on Bella, melting her with the intensity behind them. What was he doing, she wondered, and her heart picked up in rhythm to her rampant thoughts.

The music dimmed to a soft tinkling of the ivories as Edward got down on one knee. Someone handed him a mic, and Bella's face heated as the realization of what he was doing dawned on her.

"Isabella Marie," Edward began, chuckling slightly as Bella hid her burning face behind her hand. She could see several flashes go off through her closed lids, and she picked her head up to see a line of familiar people in the front row, all teary eyed and smiling widely.

Rosalie stood with Emmett's large arm wrapped around her. The swelling mound of her belly held their growing daughter, and Bella smiled as she remembered getting the news that two of her best friends were expecting. The out-of-the-blue announcement fit them to a 'T', considering that they had eloped only three months prior, surprising everyone.

Carlisle was standing off to the side with his arms wrapped around his wife. Esme had tears of joy streaming down her face as she watched her only son propose to the girl of his dreams.

Jacob was beaming at her, his arm surrounding his new girlfriend, Vanessa. Things between them had shifted back to normal over the last year. Jacob had explained to her that when he found out she was dating Edward, he panicked. He was under the assumption that Edward was as deep into the evil as Caius was, and he was going to try everything to get her away from it, including "making out with his sister."

Alice was next to Jasper, her own engagement ring glittering in the light from the stage. Bella had remembered talking to Edward after Jasper had popped the question, telling him that she didn't want anything as elaborate as what Jasper had done. She didn't think she was the kind of girl who'd appreciate being proposed to in the middle of a concert for the famous Seattle Symphony. She guessed Edward felt that a six year old's kindergarten graduation was a better venue. Bella giggled slightly, shaking her head as she looked back at Edward.

"You've stood by me through the toughest time of my life," Edward said softly, becoming more serious. "I don't think I would have survived if I didn't have you there with me. You have forgiven me for every bonehead thing I've done, and that in and of itself is a reason to put this on your finger," he laughed softly as he shook a little square box he pulled from his pocked, earning a couple deep chuckles from some men in the audience. Bella could hear several sniffles in the crowd, but once she looked back at Edward, the sincerity and love registering in her heart, everything else disappeared.

"I love you because of who you are," he told her. "I love you for who you make me want to be: a man worthy of a creature such as you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to have my babies, to grow old with me…"

Edward shifted slightly, trying to juggle the microphone and the ring box so he could get the tiny square open. After several seconds of clumsy dexterity, someone grabbed the mic from Edward, the crowd giggling their approval. Edward opened the box and held it out for Bella's inspection.

"Bella…" Edward swallowed when his breath caught in his throat, needing another minute to say the words he'd practiced just for her ear. "I want you to know that I went to see your father." He smiled slightly when he heard Bella gasp, her hand flying to her mouth as her eyes watered all the more. "I felt it was only fitting to ask his permission. He told me to tell you that he loves you, and that you'd be a fool if you didn't scoop me up." Bella laughed out loud, her head falling back. The audience tittered softly, wondering at the hidden joke. Edward continued.

"I would be truly honored if you would be my wife, Bella. Marry me. Be mine, forever."

Bella stared deeply into his eyes as everyone around her seemed to wait on bated breath. She didn't care about them, or the fact that her family was in tears only a mere five feet away. All she cared about was the man in front of her. The future he promised flashed before her eyes: a family, two little red-headed children with green eyes, one riding on Edward's shoulders and the other one clutched to his leg.

"Oh, Baby… I've always been yours."

* * *

**AN: Betty will start to update regularly now, starting next week. Thanks again!**


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